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Any good ideas?

TripleF

TripleF

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Littleton, NC
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Long story but we have one regular member of our foursome that has to be one of the slowest player I've ever played with. All of the rest of us are REALLY frustrated by his slow play but we've all said about all we know how to say without a direct confrontation with our friend.

Last time we played two of us timed how long it takes him to actually hit a shot. First, he sets up (very carefully!) waggles a 1/2 back-swing once, twice three times and four times. Then, he make a full speed practice swing. Assuming THAT swing felt good to him he steps up to the ball, goes through the exact same routine and then hits it . . . unless of course the ball falls off his tee. When that happens he starts all over. We figure that takes on average 50 seconds for him to hit a shot! Putts take AT LEAST the same time! The rest of us usually take maybe 15 seconds at worst, Since he normally shoot about an 85, that is about 50 minutes extra per round!!!

We usually finish in about 4 hours when he is with us . . . and when we talk about needing to speed up our play he doesn't see a problem as he feels like 4 hours is about average . . . and maybe he is right. But we NEVER wait for anyone in front of up and there is almost always a several hole gap by the end.

This guy is a good friend and has been for years and years. The rest of us just are at a loss as to how to get him to play faster. When we all first started playing together it would have been fairly easy to sort of exclude him. But now it's too late!

Any suggestions?
 
I would just be straight up with him. We like your company on the course, but we are having a hard time with how long it takes you on every shot. He might say okay ill see if I can speed up a bit or he might get upset and say to #^ll with ya.
 
I'm of the opinion that slow golfers need to be told, in no uncertain terms, that they are slow. It's tough and nobody wants to be a Richard to one of their friends or family but this is a case of tough love that is necessary. Sure your group is playing in 4 hours with his Spiethian routine going on, but that's only because the other 3 players aren't being so ignorant.

My advice is:
Tell him over some beers (as a group) that his slow routine is weighing on the rest of the group and starting to remove your enjoyment of the game. Don't let him justify it. If this doesn't lead him to try and speed up then you have to question how much he values playing with you guys.
 
I have a good friend that I play with every week and he is slow as dirt. We joked with him at first but that didn't help. So we have all told him to pick up the pace. We even went so far to speak to the men's club president. We asked that he be moved to early times so he could see what it's like to finish in under 4 hours. It's working and he wants back into the last three groups. We will see if he learned his lesson next weekend.
 
Just let him know that he needs to cut the routine down, and speed up, otherwise he won't be in the regular group.

Joking about it, imho, doesn't get the point across as effectively as a straightforward conversation.
 
Yeah, just lay it out. 4 hours isn't bad, on a regularly crowded course, though.
 
Be straight with him. Your slow our place is behind the group infront of us not a hole behind. If he works on it great if he puts his poopy pants on well let him slow down another group and have a beer with him after.
 
I understand your frustration but at a 4 hr pace thats not that bad. I have a group that I play with that can't finish a round in 5 hrs just because of one guy. He has more wiggles waggles and computation that Serigo and Jordon put together on their worse day. God help us if he losses a ball, he has no ideal of the 5 minute rule. This is a big money bet group that pays me well so I put up with the pace, even though I'm always frustrated by the end. I wish we could get close to 4 hrs someday.
 
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I guess I'll go the other way. I know you are frustrated but when you are timing the guy and multiplying that by total number of shots to calculate extra minutes in the round ... I don't know, it reads like he could take less time over the ball but the rest of you guys could chill out a bit too.
 
If he was scoring 100-110 and rounds were taking 4.5-5 hours I would probably say something straight up, but if he's got his routine that works for him and your still making decent time I'd let him be.
 
tequila4kapp said:
I guess I'll go the other way. I know you are frustrated but when you are timing the guy and multiplying that by total number of shots to calculate extra minutes in the round ... I don't know, it reads like he could take less time over the ball but the rest of you guys could chill out a bit too.
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Tequila . . . I think you are right! We may need to say something to him, but we need to take a "chill pill" too. 4 hours isn't a bad time.
 
I agree with most of these guys. The guys I play with are very fast and get frustrated if the round takes 4 hours. We have to remind ourselves that a 4 hour round is normal. However, with your friend I agree that you should be kind but say something to him. Your feelings and happiness playing matters as much as your friends. Maybe he will be able to compromise and speed up his routine some to help. If he is a good friend he should not get mad if you tell him in a nice and helpful way. If 3 in the group want him to speed up, he should understand. Tell him it is considerate to keep up with the group ahead of you.

To quote Spock: "The needs of the many outway the needs of the few, or the one."
 
Maybe a four hour round isn't long to some golfers, BUT if the slow play of one golfer upsets the rhythm of the other members of the group, that can be a problem. I think a "good" foursome has a flow - as one golfer hits, the others are sizing up their their shots getting ready to hit, as one golfer putts, the others are lining up their putts getting ready to hit, etc... It would bother me to have to wait 50 seconds for one member of my group to hit each shot.

If one person's slow play bothers you, speak up and tell them. If they can't speed up, either drop them from your foursome, or put up with it in silence.
 
TripleF said:
Tequila . . . I think you are right! We may need to say something to him, but we need to take a "chill pill" too. 4 hours isn't a bad time.
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4 hours is not a good time unless you are waiting every shot.
 
Just tell him he is being slow. Do it before you sign up for your next tee time. If you are true friends then there won't be a prob. If he gets mad or whatever and can't take constructive criticism, I'd find a new group if his slow play is too much.

but to be fair, I can't stand playing with guys who seem to be trying to get done as fast as possible, that crap sucks too.
 
I do not have any issues to tell someone that we need to pick up the pace. On one occassion, the slowest person in our group can not find his ball. After 10 minutes, I just told them I will go ahead.
 
I play a lot of golf with my kids. We typically get around in 3-3.5 hours if not slowed down. This is with them taking 100-120 strokes depending on the kid and the day. It's much easier to speak up with them since they're my kids, but I find that they play better the faster they play (to a point). My 12 year old will take excessive practice swings at times and my 14 year old will stand dead still at the ball for 20+ seconds getting ready to mentally pull the trigger. With my 12 year old I just flat out tell him "one practice swing" and my 14 year old I let him do that once each round, he invariably hits that shot terrible so the next tee I'll tell him, "just step up and whack it, you do better anyways". They also know from a few bad past experiences that even if they are not the problem, as the kids out there, they'll be looked at by many as being the problem. On top of that too, they know that if they fall behind pace wise they WILL pick up and play again when they're in position. We played in 4 hours today, our longest round ever. The front took 2.25 hours and we did have to wait a few times although nothing extreme. The biggest issue was the leaves starting to come down in spots so there was a lot of searching for balls. That and the damn goose feathers that look just like a ball until you're 10ft from them. At any rate I was surprised at the end since it didn't feel like it was that long and until 18 no one had to wait on us (they didn't have to then judging from their hits but 18 is a 300 yard par 4 and I think they thought they could get there).
 
braddman19 said:
Just let him know that he needs to cut the routine down, and speed up, otherwise he won't be in the regular group.

Joking about it, imho, doesn't get the point across as effectively as a straightforward conversation.
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Our buddy was 100% as slow as the OP's and we took this route.

Worked for a while before he reverted and arrogantly stated that he didn't care, he was gonna play his game no matter what. He's like that.

Problem for him is that I'm not shy in the least and I don't entertain poor behavior. I immediately told him he was out and to enjoy his golfing future and that we'd played our last round together, never again.

Shocked but stubborn, he left and claimed he'd be fine. Weeks later, he begged back.

No.

That was probably five years ago, apparently he's unaware of the definition of last and never.

And not only has he not changed, heard from others that he's now measurably worse. I wish him well, truly do. Just... from a blissful, uncorrupted, free from controversy, distance.

Sure wish different for the OP but our "Primo," was surely unique.
 
I straight up told two guys in my group today they were too slow and it's disrespectful to the people behind us waiting. They did not take it well but we got back on pace after a few holes when they picked up and didn't play out.
 
I get it. I really do. Yes, 4 hours is not bad. But when you are one of the three guys making that happen and the other guy is working against the rest of you that's a lot of pressure on the other three. This is not condusive to an ongoing friendship and can lead to resentment. I guarantee you Slow Guy hasn't even considered how his actions are impacting the rest of you. He needs to know. If he's really a friend that will matter to him.
 
Some of the comments here ...you have to be kidding. I mean I understand slow pace problems. Which BTW do not have to relate to score. I can shoot an 84 and a 101 and still play at a good pace. But that aside, why is 4 hours a real problem? I mean perhaps if the specific course is short and open and one in which should be played in 3-1/2 (or whatever) and/or that is the recommended pace for that specific course then I can understand. But there is no reason otherwise to really complain imo on him for taking 4 hrs.

If its an average course why shouldn't he be entitled to play a 4hr respectable pace? Now...if (regardless of the course) your group plays much faster anyway and the course is always open enough for your group to always do so, then you have to make a choice. If a 4hr round is just too detrimental to your lives then talk to him and if he doesn't wish to play speedier golf then he should back out or you have to count him out.

I mean really? A good friend? I mean unles this course is a bit unique and should be played much faster, what are you guys really complaining about. The slowest player you ever seen? and still its a 4hr round? It might be painstaking to watch him address,setup and ake a shot. But he must be walking and getting ready and oing all the other things quickly enough or that round would be more like 4-1/2 or even more.

I think you guys are being unreasonable really. I mean a 4hr round is unbearable and so much so that a good friend is at stake? Your joking right?

Most people would only wish the slowest player they've ever seen caused a 4hr round. I just don't get this whole thing. So my suggested good idea? is...Some you speed golfers need to learn how to deal with 4hr rounds. It gets to the point where playing fast rabbit golf becomes more important than enjoying the atmosphere and the round of golf itself. Hurry up and finish so we can get the heck out of here? I just don't know
 
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Be straight up, tell the human rain delay that he is killing you...

Tell him to do an experiment..take only one practice swing for the next round (or delete whatever signature move he has that is holding things up) and see if he scores any different.

Nothings worse than the guy with the longest routine that plays terrible...

You can play terrible in much less time!
 
4 hours on most courses is slow if you don't have to wait on any shots. I will take 4 hours in the middle of the day on a weekend anytime though. Those days you keep a decent pace, and mostly moving along. Would drive me insane if I played in 4 hours with no one in front all while watching someone in my group channel there inner Andrew Loupe.

Now if the course is 7600 yards with rough you have to be standing a few feet from your ball to see it then yeah, it will be 5.5 hours and I will probably start drinking.
 
A friend of mine is also a very very deliberate player. He's take several practice swing and carefully study each shot, he does not hit til he's ready and would back off the shot and start over when something distracting him.

The problem is he's a +1 or +2, very long hitter pretty deadly with wedges and putter and one of the favorite thing he likes to do when playing with stranger is to hit a 2i off the tee. It would carry about 230-240 as it set the tone for the round. I know everyone we play with feel a bit frustrated but tolerated because it was a treat to see how he hits the ball. Not till I got my handicap down to low single, I started heckling him about playing too slow.

The good news is after a few jokes, he does pick up the pace. As much as I want him to play faster I just don't want hi to play too fast. Good and fast player intimidates everyone.
 
So I thought 4 hour's was below pace of play, and 4.5 hours was pace of play. I have always been satisfied with a 4.5 hour round in a foursome, this coming from a guy that plays 18 holes in less than 2 hours. Golfing this weekend it took 5.5 hours and I was not happy at all with that, the last hour was unbearable.
 
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