Gas money for driving work buddys to golf with.

This is long, but I want to explain this the best I can so you can see where I'm coming from.

At work there's 4 of us that have gone golfing a handful of times this year. One guy works 2 jobs and has a wife on disability. He's always saying how tight he is on money. I'll call him Al. Fwiw, I get it. I do. I was there myself for some years, but if I was going skiing or biking, I'd come up with the money or not go.

I'm not rich myself, but I'm in a better position in life right now than he is. Again, I get it.

The course "ABC" is an hour away and charges $65 for 18/cart on weekends. Al said he'd have to save $5 a week, but looked forward to playing this course. I found out I can save by booking online. But I can only book the week of, not 2 months in advance. It came down to $50 each. AL particularly was happy. He asked if it would be that low "then", meaning when we went in almost 2 months. I said "Let's hope so". He started doing the math in front of me figuring out how much the fees were "Plus gas... Who's driving?". I said I would cause I have an SUV that all 4 of us could fit in. He asked "5, 10 bucks for gas?", I said "Yeah, we'll figure it out when it gets here". Gas WAS $2.35 before the Hurricane in Texas. It's now $2.90 here. This course is about an hour away and, not that it matters, but its in the state next to us.

We'd talk about this for the next 2 months daily between myself, AL and "3". The other guy works in a separate division, but we'd talk to him once a week. We were all psyched to play! AL throws out that we should play a captain and crew tournament cause he thinks we'll do good. I know a C&C tournament is usually $75+pp. But I figured he's doing OK with the second job and is making enough money to afford it.

Yesterday we met at Al's house and we loaded up my SUV. It was just under an hour to get there. We each paid $50 and "4" turned around and handed me a $10 for gas. AL and 3 were right there. I don't think they missed it. But neither paid. That cash would be my money for the week.
They both bought souvenirs and later drinks/food from the cart girl.

I'm not a guy that likes to ask for money... But this is my weeks cash. So at work "3" and myself were talking about the game and some shots and I threw it out there "Hey, when you think about it, can you remember that $10 for gas?" he replied "oh, yeah" and we went back to talking about the game.

At break I was outside and AL came out too. I said to him the same thing I said to "3". He said "Each!"... I asked him "what?" he repeats it "Each!" with a little smile... I'm confused and said in more of the form of a question "Yes?" but I felt awkward and confused. He replied "Wow!". Then went on how it was only 40 minutes away (it was longer really, but we left his house 15 minutes early) and how I'm making $40.

So I went inside and figured out via Google maps what the distance from his place to ABC was, multiplied it times 2 and divided it by my trucks avg mpg. This puts me at $18.75 worth of gas. Divide that by 4 and its $4.75 per person... I never thought I'd have to figure all this out prior to taking my "buddies" golfing. Whenever someone else drives me somewhere, I've always thrown them money and figure that in as part of the expense.

Do I really go back to "4" and give him $5 back and tell Al and "3" that $5 is what they owe?

Fwiw, I drove Al and "3" to another course earlier in the year that's 40 minutes away and didn't ask for a penny.

Al told me this morning (before any of this happened) he was tired cause he didn't go to bed till midnight cause he went to the movies after we got home! That's $12pp. Idk if his wife went or not. Wtf?

This makes an uncomfortable work place. As I walked through the building right after the moment-of-awkwardness, Al was talking to "3" and saw me coming, nodded his head toward me, looked at the floor and turned around. "3" got uncomfortable and started rambling "Umm, yeah, I don't know...."

This is frustrating and uncomfortable.

What should I do?

I'm more surprised that you asked for gas money at all for a couple of hours' drive. However, if I were going to do it, I would not ask until the end, so I could figure out how much gas was spent and how much each owed. You seem to think Al is making a big deal out of not wanting to pay you $5 extra, but then you are making a big deal out of having to do the math and figure out that its $5 per person.

I do see where you are coming from but my personal experience is I never ask for gas money if I am offering to drive. On a side note when a friend and I will go to a course together and he picks me up, I make sure and buy a round or two of drinks.

Interesting because while I've never asked for gas money, my buddies would always pay for my meal or drinks, sometimes the round itself, whatever, and we'd be square either way.

I thought when reading that $10 per was a bit high. I drive a Suburban and that would still be nearly twice the amount that it would cost me. So for me, if I were to ask I'd only ask for the actual amount.

Beyond that, at this point you were already up front with them so I wouldn't push it. But if the other guys didn't pony up, I'd sure think twice about volunteering to drive again. As in, it wouldn't happen for at least the next trip.

Zero issue in treating my friends with a lift once, twice or maybe even a few times, but I'm no free car service IF it's to be expected.

And as you can imagine, having a Suburban with the size and space it offers, it's the favorite travel vehicle among my friends.

I'd put it down to experience and move on.

garethw said:

I'd put it down to experience and move on.

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^^^ this.

WMac19 said:

Interesting because while I've never asked for gas money, my buddies would always pay for my meal or drinks, sometimes the round itself, whatever, and we'd be square either way.

I thought when reading that $10 per was a bit high. I drive a Suburban and that would still be nearly twice the amount that it would cost me. So for me, if I were to ask I'd only ask for the actual amount.

Beyond that, at this point you were already up front with them so I wouldn't push it. But if the other guys didn't pony up, I'd sure think twice about volunteering to drive again...

Zero issue in treating my friends with a lift once, twice or maybe even a few times, but I'm no free car service.
..

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Just to point it out, Al was the one who brought it up about paying for gas. But he's now the one making an issue of it. That the irony of this whole thing that's confusing to me. Neither offered me a water, Gatorade or ANYTHING.

The greens fees and gas money were discussed up front when we planned this outing.

garethw said:

I'd put it down to experience and move on.

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Lesson learned. I'll drive myself from now on.

2 have pick-ups and the other a crossover so I thought it made sense for me to drive.

If I volunteered to drive I don't ask for money and wouldn't accept it if they offered.

I am almost always the one to drive my friends and I've never asked any of them for gas money and never will. I've had a car since I was 16 and this has always been the case. Some people offer to fill up the car or bit a meal or drinks or something but it is not expected. I am far from rich but would not want something as small as a few dollars for gas to either stop someone from going or cause friction between friends.

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garethw said:

I'd put it down to experience and move on.

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Agreed, not worth the aggravation


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I've never asked for gas money, and turned it down the few times it's been offered. It is a bit crappy that he was the one to bring it up then not pony up.

I play primarily with one friend who I got out of golf retirement. I never ask for anything, I appreciate his friendship and commitment. Ever have guys bail on you at the last moment and you end up feeling like an ass checking in? He does offer me money usually I turn it down. We play in a league together and he paid for the cart and never asked for money and I have done the same this year. If he were a work colleague I would probably be a bit different in all honesty. Make them drive or meet them there. It is nice to have golf chatter on the ride to and from but if no consideration is extended at all then I would be somewhat disappointed. As a prior posted noted, chalk it up to experience and move on. Definitely play more with 4, he gets it. And give him $5 next time you play with him.

I'd harp on the gas thing only if you want to play as a single from here on out.

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If you are the one who agreed to driving every week then the best thing is to just have mentioned that you dont mind driving but would be nice if they filled the tank once in a while. If they choose not to do that, then move on. After all, you would be paying for gas even if you drove there by yourself.

If gas money is really a big deal for you then maybe ask them to rotate drivers every time you go so that it is not about money anymore.

I would just let it go. Once a month I drive hour and a half one way to golf with a friend. He knows it is a longish drive, he pays for my cart every time. I never asked he just does.
If they offer you money for gas take it, but I wouldn't ask for it. Just me.

I usually try to "repay" gas money with a drink, range balls or something else that is bound to come up. If I drive I don't really expect anything in return but it's always nice if someone grabs a drink for you in exchange.

All that aside I can't imagine getting into a weird interpersonal relationship with some friends over $10 each or less. I honestly can't even wrap my mind around that.

I agree with everyone..Don't charge your boys for gas just get them to buy you lunch or something. Seems like "AL" needs to prioritize his money and take a break from golf. Let's call a spade a spade..this game ain't cheap.

ass, grass, or cash - nobody rides for free

I wouldn't expect anything for a couple hour drive. Now 20 hours to Myrtle Beach and back, that's something you can talk about splitting. Would have been nice if they bought you a drink or picked up your lunch at the turn, but again not something I'd expect.

You know, it just seems like a lot of drama and math for a round of golf with the guys. I'd say forget the gas money but don't offer to drive them next time if this really bothered you.


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Friends vs co-workers- Someone mentioned that here and I guess that's how I feel about this.

Every time I do a ski trip, I drive and gas gets split between my friends. They EXPECT to pay for it and i guess I'm used to that. $150-200 between the 3 of them... I fill up when I get home ($40-60). We've done this for 15-20 years.

Lesson learned.

If you are talking about $200-300 in gas, by all means talk about who is paying what. As most everyone has said, for $4, or anywhere in the universe close to that, o can't imagine this being worth the conversation.

$4 or $400, thread starter doesn't want to be taken advantage of, gas money was discussed and agreed upon, pay up sucka! or be left off the list for next time

tucsoncacti said:

I do see where you are coming from but my personal experience is I never ask for gas money if I am offering to drive. On a side note when a friend and I will go to a course together and he picks me up, I make sure and buy a round or two of drinks.

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This would be me. I'd never ask if I offered to drive.

GolfinGator said:

I'd never ask if I offered to drive.

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I wonder if people are reading the whole thing. I know it's long, but...

Al himself brought up the gas money BEFORE the outing was planned. They all agreed on $10. It was thrown around in discussions more than once and even the day before we went.

I'm reluctant to ask for money... It wasn't easy. I would never ask if it wasn't already agreed upon.

Out $20. I was wrong to expect them to pay. Lesson learned.

Thanks, guys.