Craig Mac
_____________________
I know some of you may have seen this before, but here it is:
1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ----Grantland Rice
2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ----John Updike
3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. ----Robert Lynd
4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ----Horace G. Hutchinson
5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ---- Gardner Dickinson
6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ----Sam Snead
7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ----William Wordsworth
8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. ----Dean Martin
9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. ----Tommy Bolt
10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. ----Bishop Sheen
11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ---- Arnold Palmer
12. My handicap? Woods and irons. ----Chris Codiroli
13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. ----Pete Dye
14. I'm hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time getting out of them! ----Buddy Hackett
15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. ----Billy Graham
16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ----Jack Lemmon
17. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ----Mark Twain
18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ----Harry Vardon
19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. ----Jimmy DeMaret
20. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters. ----Ben Hogan
21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. ----All Us Hackers
22. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ----George Deukmejian
AND FINALLY
23. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. ----Lee Trevino
1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ----Grantland Rice
2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ----John Updike
3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. ----Robert Lynd
4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ----Horace G. Hutchinson
5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ---- Gardner Dickinson
6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ----Sam Snead
7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ----William Wordsworth
8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. ----Dean Martin
9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. ----Tommy Bolt
10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. ----Bishop Sheen
11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ---- Arnold Palmer
12. My handicap? Woods and irons. ----Chris Codiroli
13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. ----Pete Dye
14. I'm hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time getting out of them! ----Buddy Hackett
15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. ----Billy Graham
16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ----Jack Lemmon
17. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ----Mark Twain
18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ----Harry Vardon
19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. ----Jimmy DeMaret
20. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters. ----Ben Hogan
21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. ----All Us Hackers
22. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ----George Deukmejian
AND FINALLY
23. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. ----Lee Trevino
