We've launched the new forums! Read more here

Best heckle you have heard on the course!

Maddog701

Maddog701

Active member
Joined
Jan 20, 2013
Messages
4,397
Reaction score
0
Location
LeRoy NY
Handicap
14.2 ghin
Some heckles come from the public, some come from opponents, some may even come from your partner. Two of the best I have heard in a long time came while playing this year.


First one, six4three5 was standing over a ten footer while playing with Shankasouras,asmith61, and myself. We were about 15 yards from a road when a guy yelled from a passing vehicle " you will not make that putt, jackass"!. He was right!!! we all started to chuckle. we also let numbers hit again if he wanted too, but he took it like a champ and just knocked in his gimme for par.

Second one was in my Thursday night league. One of our opponents was not playing well at all, his partner look him right in the eye and with a serious tone asked him " when does your bowling league start this year"?. He just started to laugh and said not soon enough.

Looking forward to hearing some great heckles here !
 
First time a new golfing partner showed up in shorts one of the regulars asked him, "Are those your legs or are you riding a chicken?" That's how skinny his legs were! :)
 
I asked my 73 year old friend who is also our league sub on a par 3 hole if he had ever gotten a hole in one, knowing he hadn't. When he said no, I told him he'd better hurry up because he's running out of time! He laughed and a few days later he made the mistake of telling his gas company buddies about it. They say it to him nearly every round now!
 
Heard this one in my round today. My partner thins a wedge over the green. The course super who was out checking things. Drives over to our cart and ask my partner if he is on blood thinners. My partner says no why and the super responds with you hit that so thin thought you must be on blood thinners.
 
In our Saturday scramble there's one guy who is LEGENDARY for heckling. Our group was -3 and his was +1 as we went to the last tee box.

I ripped a drive down the middle and he says: "Not bad for a guy wearing bowling shoes."

To which I replied "Yeah, not bad. We're -3... how's your round going?"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
"Nice drive, no arrive."
 
I'm subscribing to this thread :)

My dad and I call each other "shanksquatch" regularly on the golf course.

Then of course there's the old:
"Did your skirt blow up and hit you?" on a putt left short, or
"Does your husband play golf?"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I take an annual golf trip with some long time friends. A few years ago, the best golfer in the group got roaring drunk the night before our first round. He was massively hung over the next day but insisted on teeing it up with us at 8am. Needless to say, he played terribly.
After about the third time he dribbled it off the tee I told him "I think I see your problem, Tom. You're standing too close to the ball -------- after you hit it."
It took him a long time to forgive me for that.
 
My dad is famous for asking someone "did you just fart?" after a practice swing or two.

Guy from dad's work takes two or three practice swings on the first tee. Dad busts out the tried and true as the guy from work is lining up for his shot. Guy pulls the shot pretty bad and the responds with, "I guess I was clenching that time." I got a pretty good chuckle out of that.
 
Ddec to Mike Dean: Just throw it in the water, it's gonna end up anyway.

Mike Dean then skies it straight into the water.
 
Mike Dean to Fupresti at the Ultimate Testing with Taylormade. Fupresti miss hits a a shot, just slightly. Mike dean chimes in with, "You're playing blades?"
 
Since we are on the Mike Dean train, just yesterday, we were teeing off directly into the sun on 18 so everyone was looking out for each other's drives. Mike tops it off to the left about 30 yards.

"I see it Mike!"
 
I've got to start writing them down after I've heard them because I've been the recipient of some zingers but I can never remember them.
 
"You could wrap that ball in bacon and f'ing Lassie couldn't find it." Thought that was pretty good
 
after a badly missed putt, "Other than distance and direction that was pretty good"
 
playing team match play with colleagues last month, my partner asks another guy, "have you been taking lessons?" the other guy proudly answers "yeah, every week this summer" "you should ask for a refund"
 
It's not really an out of the ordinary one, but one of my favorites is after someone hits a really great drive and a person says with a straight face and tone "You can still make bogey from there".
 
We have several lakes at our club 20 yds off the tee box that have to be carried, some short some long. My favorite is, you gonna lay up or try to carry all that at once? Obviously there is no lay up its only a few yards to the water. Or, are you hitting a water ball?��
 
Great thread, I can't stop laughing reading these. :laughing:
 
A classic baseball heckle, but works, both positively and negatively for golf...

"He couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat."
 
Not really a heckle, and help me out gentlemen. But didn't one of the fitters at ECPC rattle off "you're a greenskeeper's best friend" to ddec when he hit a few iron shots without taking a divot?
 
We had a golfing buddy we would heckle during the first round of the year in shorts. His legs were so white we told him we couldn't tell where his legs stopped and socks (white) started. We also would accuse him of hitting his shot out of bounds, then say, oops, those were your legs and not the OB stakes.

We had a guy join us once and he just bombed one off the 1st tee, far beyond any of us. My comment to him was, "I know people who don't go that far on vacation!"
 
Last edited:
After they have a bad swing. I like telling the others in my foursome "Nice hustle". It eases the blow of the bad swing emotionally and creates a laugh.

I like this thread.
 
These are hilarious. I like this thread.

When I was first learning to play My friends dad would tell me "just keep swinging, one day you will hit something...."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top