We've launched the new forums! Read more here

When someone insists "that's good" . But with a sense of entitlement.

rollin

rollin

"Just playin golf pally"
Joined
Aug 28, 2012
Messages
12,619
Reaction score
1,113
Location
planet earth, milky way galaxy
Handicap
15.7
Firstly, for this specific discussion I am talking about when pace of play is not problematic at all. Simply put you and your group are not slow and are keeping up very well and even having to wait some here and there. So for sake of this discussion we can leave pace problems out of it because that then I do understand becomes a different scenario.

I got slightly bothered the other day by an individual who would keep insisting my 2 to 3 foot putt (give or take) was good enough without even putting it. I finally had to tell nicely him "but where do you want to go?"
We were not slow and in fact were moving along just swell and even waiting a little. Pace was really good. I am all for picking up when its is an issue and/or when I had a bad hole and am at "esc" anyway. But not in general. I find when you pick up too many shorty's that you lose your touch for making them. Like when for a par or a bird and you really want it to count properly you will be surprised how many you can miss when one becomes too accustomed to picking them up. I like to keep an honest score and I like to keep my shorty putt skill in tact.

I had to explain the above to him how when/if I do this too much I lose the skill to make them and so as long as we are doing fine time wise I like to putt them. We had no argument and actually was a very friendly round and he seemed to understand although I did have to bring it up twice and can tell he wasn't too happy about that part so may be just a tiny little tension there with that part of our round.
Actually as we had the discussion the second time his buddy says "you should see this guy when we play with our regular group and bet each other" "they make you putt from 6inches"
Well, that part is what annoyed me. A sense of entitlement perhaps not intentional but still a sense of it. Only when the individual feels its important does he then feel its ok to putt but when its more casual to him no one else has the right to do what they see fit?

I have experienced many times golfing mostly as a single the false sense of entitlement displayed by "some" others who believe they have the right to dictate what others should and shouldn't do just because the round is a very casual one for them . A number of people who may play organized golf and/or play very competitive golf among friends too often when in (what is considered to them) a more casual round feel as though everyone else who does otherwise is being ridiculous. I've seen it happen many times and not just with putting but with different things too.

Its like certain things are only ok to do only when "they" feel its ok. They don't care to think how other players wish to play their own golf. Things like telling others to pick up that 3 footer, or telling to take a mulli after a badly missed drive that rolled up just past the red tees, or telling one to give themselves a better lie. Things like that are ok to suggest in a friendly fashion when honestly trying to help another with good intent but not ok when implied as a rule with intent to dictate ones round holds no value or meaning. Seems to imply to others that's its not important and to hurry up even though pace is not an issue all because the round means nothing to them. There just sometimes gets to be this sense of entitlement displayed where as no one else has the right. Only they have the right to do what they wish when they see fit. Only then does it all become ok. This doesn't happen very often but I seen it enough times and this (the other day) teed me off a tad and the whole logic is just wrong.
 
When I'm playing with someone who's not usually one of my partners or in league play, I'll usually tell them "that's good if you want it." That way, if they tend to take gimmes with people they play usually, they don't feel awkward just picking up and giving themselves the putt, and if they want to putt it out, I'm cool with them taking it. I don't necessarily see it rushing someone - you can't take the putt if nobody's conceding it.
 
Depends what I'm playing for and with who. Mostly I like to putt out all my putts as well so I can see where you're coming from. Usually in a match tho I'll reward good golf. Meaning if someone hits a great shot against me to 4 feet I'd probably give it to him. If they struggle and have a 4 footer I'll make em putt out. Like I said depends who I'm playing with and for what, but the way your story sounds, it sounds like you're in the right.
 
Easy solution, just putt out how you want to and move on. Really shouldn't be an issue unless you are really behind.
 
unless we are playing a match putts aren't given in a normal round unless its purely a tap in from <1'. Most people i know will make an attempt to putt out so they have that feeling of the ball going in the hole.

if i am playing with someone i don't know or don't play with often i never suggest a putt is good and don't recall anyone else doing the same to me.

sounds like this guy was trying to be nice during a friendly round and is different during matches with the normal. group.

i don't recall there being a rule that if playing partner gives you a putt during a friendly round you have to take it.
 
I'll only give a putt if someone thanks me profusely. They get one chance to do so, then they're putting out everything.

Pace of play be darned! We're talking about courtesy here.
 
I just do what I want.
 
ATLGolfer said:
I'll only give a putt if someone thanks me profusely. They get one chance to do so, then they're putting out everything.

Pace of play be darned! We're talking about courtesy here.
Click to expand...

Thanks for giving me my putt after my chip shot stopped on the Lip Saturday.....Forgot to say thanks
 
flog2424 said:
Thanks for giving me my putt after my chip shot stopped on the Lip Saturday.....Forgot to say thanks
Click to expand...



I gave you your Par putt after I drained my 20-foot birdie putt as well.
 
If it's a two footer I'll say that's good. Not because of pace but because if someone is playing a competitive round for score they only have to tell me once that they would rather putt it and then I will know that they don't want gimmies.
 
Birdie & Par putts I'll putt them no matter how close just for the satisfaction I get being a BOGIE+ golfer.
 
2 footers are the putts that can make or break a tournament. That's why I try to putt them all out and that's the reason I use when I decline the offer of a gimmee.
 
Just putt out. I'll still say it's good, but it won't hurt my feelings if you decide to putt it out. Just don't go all PGA and look at it from 3 different angles on a 3 footer.
 
rollin said:
Firstly, for this specific discussion I am talking about when pace of play is not problematic at all. Simply put you and your group are not slow and are keeping up very well and even having to wait some here and there. So for sake of this discussion we can leave pace problems out of it because that then I do understand becomes a different scenario.

I got slightly bothered the other day by an individual who would keep insisting my 2 to 3 foot putt (give or take) was good enough without even putting it. I finally had to tell nicely him "but where do you want to go?"
We were not slow and in fact were moving along just swell and even waiting a little. Pace was really good. I am all for picking up when its is an issue and/or when I had a bad hole and am at "esc" anyway. But not in general. I find when you pick up too many shorty's that you lose your touch for making them. Like when for a par or a bird and you really want it to count properly you will be surprised how many you can miss when one becomes too accustomed to picking them up. I like to keep an honest score and I like to keep my shorty putt skill in tact.

I had to explain the above to him how when/if I do this too much I lose the skill to make them and so as long as we are doing fine time wise I like to putt them. We had no argument and actually was a very friendly round and he seemed to understand although I did have to bring it up twice and can tell he wasn't too happy about that part so may be just a tiny little tension there with that part of our round.
Actually as we had the discussion the second time his buddy says "you should see this guy when we play with our regular group and bet each other" "they make you putt from 6inches"
Well, that part is what annoyed me. A sense of entitlement perhaps not intentional but still a sense of it. Only when the individual feels its important does he then feel its ok to putt but when its more casual to him no one else has the right to do what they see fit?

I have experienced many times golfing mostly as a single the false sense of entitlement displayed by "some" others who believe they have the right to dictate what others should and shouldn't do just because the round is a very casual one for them . A number of people who may play organized golf and/or play very competitive golf among friends too often when in (what is considered to them) a more casual round feel as though everyone else who does otherwise is being ridiculous. I've seen it happen many times and not just with putting but with different things too.

Its like certain things are only ok to do only when "they" feel its ok. They don't care to think how other players wish to play their own golf. Things like telling others to pick up that 3 footer, or telling to take a mulli after a badly missed drive that rolled up just past the red tees, or telling one to give themselves a better lie. Things like that are ok to suggest in a friendly fashion when honestly trying to help another with good intent but not ok when implied as a rule with intent to dictate ones round holds no value or meaning. Seems to imply to others that's its not important and to hurry up even though pace is not an issue all because the round means nothing to them. There just sometimes gets to be this sense of entitlement displayed where as no one else has the right. Only they have the right to do what they wish when they see fit. Only then does it all become ok. This doesn't happen very often but I seen it enough times and this (the other day) teed me off a tad and the whole logic is just wrong.
Click to expand...
I'm confused, did he make you take his advice? I don't get what the issue is. If you want to putt everything out, do so. I'm not sure people have a sense of entitlement by giving you putts during a causal round vs one that matters. You should declare on the first tee you're playing every shot and not to give you putts. Then everyine will know a head of time.
 
I usually just say thank you and putt it anyways. After 2 or 3 times, they get the hint. It is a fun round, do what you want as long as there isn't a back up.
 
I dont get it. Whether a putt is given or not doesn't bother me. Also being given 2-3 footers isn't going to make me forget how to make one.
 
Tadashi70 said:
I'm confused, did he make you take his advice? I don't get what the issue is. If you want to putt everything out, do so. I'm not sure people have a sense of entitlement by giving you putts during a causal round vs one that matters. You should declare on the first tee you're playing every shot and not to give you putts. Then everyine will know a head of time.
Click to expand...

your misunderstanding me and perhaps its the way I wrote it all down. I take my share of putts just like most of you. That's how I know that when you take too many too often it then hurts your ability to make them. I also have no issue when one suggests a putt is good. We are not even playing against anyone. Most of the times its not said with any intent other than just being friendly. Thats all fine and dandy. But every once in a while it is said with intent as though to imply the person is not willing to wait for your putt or cant be bothered waiting (the half minute) while you putt because the round is not a serious one for them. They just want to move on even though pace is not even an issue. As said , some other things can pop up as well and not just putting. There is imo a difference when one does such things in a genuine friendly fashion vs when one does it because he don't feel its important in what may be just a casual meaningless round for him. Quite frankly he cant be bothered to have to watch you putt it out. Its not the norm and its more rare but I have seen this attitude enough times before to bring it up.
 
rollin said:
But every once in a while it is said with intent as though to imply the person is not willing to wait for your putt or cant be bothered waiting (the half minute) while you putt because the round is not a serious one for them.
Click to expand...
Two questions:
1. How do you know what someone else's intent is?
2. Half minute to take a putt?
 
I guess I am lucky enough to NEVER experience what you are describing in my 30+ years of playing.
rollin said:
your misunderstanding me and perhaps its the way I wrote it all down. I take my share of putts just like most of you. That's how I know that when you take too many too often it then hurts your ability to make them. I also have no issue when one suggests a putt is good. We are not even playing against anyone. Most of the times its not said with any intent other than just being friendly. Thats all fine and dandy. But every once in a while it is said with intent as though to imply the person is not willing to wait for your putt or cant be bothered waiting (the half minute) while you putt because the round is not a serious one for them. They just want to move on even though pace is not even an issue. As said , some other things can pop up as well and not just putting. There is imo a difference when one does such things in a genuine friendly fashion vs when one does it because he don't feel its important in what may be just a casual meaningless round for him. Quite frankly he cant be bothered to have to watch you putt it out. Its not the norm and its more rare but I have seen this attitude enough times before to bring it up.
Click to expand...
 
rollin said:
your misunderstanding me and perhaps its the way I wrote it all down. I take my share of putts just like most of you. That's how I know that when you take too many too often it then hurts your ability to make them. I also have no issue when one suggests a putt is good. We are not even playing against anyone. Most of the times its not said with any intent other than just being friendly. Thats all fine and dandy. But every once in a while it is said with intent as though to imply the person is not willing to wait for your putt or cant be bothered waiting (the half minute) while you putt because the round is not a serious one for them. They just want to move on even though pace is not even an issue. As said , some other things can pop up as well and not just putting. There is imo a difference when one does such things in a genuine friendly fashion vs when one does it because he don't feel its important in what may be just a casual meaningless round for him. Quite frankly he cant be bothered to have to watch you putt it out. Its not the norm and its more rare but I have seen this attitude enough times before to bring it up.
Click to expand...

Out of curiosity, would it bother you if the person started walking back to their cart/bag/next hole while you finished off your 2-3 foot putt?
 
mpeterson said:
When I'm playing with someone who's not usually one of my partners or in league play, I'll usually tell them "that's good if you want it." That way, if they tend to take gimmes with people they play usually, they don't feel awkward just picking up and giving themselves the putt, and if they want to putt it out, I'm cool with them taking it. I don't necessarily see it rushing someone - you can't take the putt if nobody's conceding it.
Click to expand...

That not being pushy or dictating. That's just being friendly.
Your intent is of good nature and not one of which I mention.
 
I rarely play with people I don't know, but when I have I just let them do whatever they want to do if it's not a competitive round. This relates to putts, mulligans, improving lies, etc. Do whatever, just don't hold up pace of play.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top