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Golf Etiquette - Are My Expectations Reasonable?

double-hoo said:
Agreed. I wish this was easier for me to do. Everybody has different capacities to focus in different situations. I can study something intensely in a book or on the internet while the TV is blasting something dramatic (like in an NBA game) and not even notice what is happening. I went through law school studying with the TV on all the time for my wife, and it was like there was no sound. But when I'm at the top of my backswing, a sudden noise bothers me. I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard.

To me, it comes down to a balancing of "rights" or "conveniences," so to speak. A golfer really doesn't lose anything by waiting five seconds before they drop their club in the bag, or staying still for 3 seconds. How hard is it really to show courtesy to people? But then, we live in a world where people don't re-rack their weights at the gym, don't use turn signals, and throw their cigarette butts out their car window (so here in California they end up in the ocean). Uh oh, the old fogey is coming out again. LOL.
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I agree with you on the sound.

Question, do you wear a hat?
 
I'm easily distracted as well. Maybe at the end of a round you can mention it in a way that makes it sound like it's your fault with something like, "Hey Billy Bob, I know I'm an old fart with focus issues, so when you move a little during my putt or make even the slightest noise in my backswing it really throws me off. "

In the words of Linus Van Pelt, "A kind word turneth away wrath."
 
I started a similar thread a few months back regarding noise. What I have figured out is, the more comfortable I have become with my swing since coming back to the game, the less visual or audible distractions effect me. You are not being too sensitive though, your playing partner should be quiet.

Just ts pull him aside and explain briefly, you are very sensitive to distractions and if he would help you by being still, no big deal.

ken
 
I know most will disagree with me but I'm very much of the opinion that sports such as golf and tennis are backwards in their approach. Look at other professional sports such as football, soccer, cricket, rugby. They all involve concentration from the sportsmen and they all have large unruly noisy crowds. Coming from a background of those sorts of sports noise and movement don't put me off.
That being said I understand it does for others so I also don't move or make noise in the same situations. I just think that this sort of thing should be relaxed a bit. Imagine the atmosphere of being at the masters and having the crowds going off from the start to the finish of the 18th. How cool it would be! You'd have players pulling out that last little bit with a huge crowd behind them.
 
double-hoo said:
I have to admit that I'm surprised at the number of "old fogey" responses. Perhaps I watch too much golf on TV where all of the other golfers and caddies seem to really take pains to be courteous (galleries to me are a different issue) , or perhaps I'm applying rules that I was taught when I learned to play golf, and etiquette is not that big a deal anymore. But then, I tend to hold doors for people too - whether they be men or women.
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Those guys take great pains because hundreds of thousands of dollars are on the line. It is their livelihood. The rest of us play pretty much for sh*ts and giggles.

I have learned that my expectations are mine and mine alone. Just because someone shuffles their feet, or shifts their weight from one foot to the other while you're making a putt, doesn't mean they lack etiquette or courtesy either.
 
I happen to agree with your concerns on all counts. The reason I do is that this is not an occasional distraction, this is consistent aaand obviously a deliberate attempt to distract you. Even if it is not deliberate, it does bother you and it is showing very poor etiquette. bobby Jones said golf was about two things: recreation and camaraderie. When he distracts you he is disrupting your recreation and using your friendship to get away with it. Whatever. You do, don't stew over it. Be direct and put your friendship to the test. What is a friend if not someone who wants the best for you. You may be , and I believe you are, the better friend. You are the type of person I want to play golf with.

I most often go out as a single and for the most part almost everyone observes the level of etiquette you are expecting. Perhaps friends have hidden agendas or resentments. Pick your playing partners for how they behave on the course, not how long you have been friends. Golf makes us stand up for ourselves or we crumble. If he won't change, join another group. Have fun and enjoy the company of others, again Bobby Jones.


David
 
I tend to not care what others are doing except if it's a sudden change in volume. If you're going to talk in my backswing, go ahead, don't just be quite till i'm mid swing. Otherwise, heck I don't care. I don't notice most things that bother others. Where your standing, if you're moving, if you're driving a cart or pushing a cart, none of that really matters to me. That's just me though. ::shrug:: I do try to be respectful of others though.
 
deuce said:
What's more important, silence on EVERY shot you make, or his friendship?

He's not talking, he's not walking in your line on the green. Relax a bit IMO.
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I agree. I don't let these types of things bother me. Focus on what you are doing and not on what is happening around you.
 
double-hoo said:
Agreed. I wish this was easier for me to do. Everybody has different capacities to focus in different situations. I can study something intensely in a book or on the internet while the TV is blasting something dramatic (like in an NBA game) and not even notice what is happening. I went through law school studying with the TV on all the time for my wife, and it was like there was no sound. But when I'm at the top of my backswing, a sudden noise bothers me. I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard.

To me, it comes down to a balancing of "rights" or "conveniences," so to speak. A golfer really doesn't lose anything by waiting five seconds before they drop their club in the bag, or staying still for 3 seconds. How hard is it really to show courtesy to people? But then, we live in a world where people don't re-rack their weights at the gym, don't use turn signals, and throw their cigarette butts out their car window (so here in California they end up in the ocean). Uh oh, the old fogey is coming out again. LOL.
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Question for you, how long does it take your foursome to play 18 holes?
 
I AM an "old fogey" and I share your issues.

When you talk to our friend try to make the problem yours and not his. Explain that you have ADHD or something and you have difficulty concentrating.
 
I'm 38, so not an old fogey I don't think, but when I was first taught golf I was taught similarly and to this day I always try to stand in a players blind spot, and always make sure I'm not grabbing clubs, unzipping gloves, not moving or talking on someone's stroke... But the truth is, it really doesn't bother me when I'm playing. I do it more out of habit than anything else. I think the only time I'd say something would be chatting on the tee box during my swing. Course even that's hard to complain about nowadays with those whippersnappers playing that damfangled music from their carts!
 
What is it with golfers who can't concentrate with any little distraction? Do you have similar problems at home or at work? "Hey, I'm trying to work on this project, could you quit walking past my cubicle until I finish?"....

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Bullitt5339 said:
What is it with golfers who can't concentrate with any little distraction? Do you have similar problems at home or at work? "Hey, I'm trying to work on this project, could you quit walking past my cubicle until I finish?"....

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I don't know, maybe something to do with the hand/eye coordination involved since they make you quiet down at professional golf and tennis events. But then you look at baseball and nothing requires more than that.

Then again, I don't need to wear a collared shirt to play sports either, yet it's just something that's done on the golf course.
 
I'm an old fogey. I learned the game 50+ years ago as a caddy at a private course. Etiquette was premium. It seems today that many golfers are "in their own world," and maybe the OP's friend is one of them. If remaining still or quiet for the 5-6 seconds when the OP is getting ready to hit is too much for the friend, I think the friend could have a problem. I'm not debating if the OP is asking too much of his friend, but just saying that a friend would remain quiet if asked.
 
I'm just saying that I can't say I've ever been bothered by people moving around me when I'm taking a shot, especially when putting. I expect them to be looking at their line and getting ready for their shot, that's what ready golf is about.

Carry on a conversation, I don't care. The only time noise has ever bothered me is at Tot Hill Farms when the famous rooster got me about 2 inches in my backswing and then I just laughed because that's what he's famous for.

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Golf Etiquette - Are My Expectations Reasonable?

Woo-hoo. You mentioned the old fogey comment. Others were just mentioning it as you did.

I think all the things you do and ask others to observe are the extreme if etiquette.

While I generally avoid doing all the things you mentioned. I have played with many, who do these things and for the most part I can block them out.

Of course I once slept through an entire search our home by the police as they were looking for an escaped prisoner who was last seen in our neighborhood. So distractions rarely bother me.

I don't think it's an all about me issue as you said. I just think there are a lot more distractions in today's everyday life than there were 30 years ago.

Remember the wise words of Elsa....Let It Go :)
 
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I'm pretty good at being oblivious to minor stuff like that so it doesn't bother me at all. That's what marriage and kids will do to you I guess :)
 
moosejaa said:
I'm pretty good at being oblivious to minor stuff like that so it doesn't bother me at all. That's what marriage and kids will do to you I guess :)
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Amen....... In order to remain sane with a wife and 3 boys in the house, you've got to have a bit of tunnel vision.

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I'm a head case on the course. the smallest things can be big distractions. but when I step back, I think I search for the distractions after I've hit a bad shot to find an excuse. I've hit plenty of decent shots with noises or other distractions going on; it's only when I hit a bad shot that I get upset about the noise or movement. so I really don't think it's that big of a deal.


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Bullitt5339 said:
Carry on a conversation, I don't care. The only time noise has ever bothered me is at Tot Hill Farms when the famous rooster got me about 2 inches in my backswing and then I just laughed because that's what he's famous for.
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LOL. The infamous rooster! One day I plan on leaving that place with some fried chicken and a much quieter course.
 
I'm an old fogey (68), I learned proper etiquette and respect for the game and the players around me a long time ago. I believe them to be an important part of the game. That said, some people expect others to carry it to a ridiculous extreme. There are always going to be distractions on the golf course, most of them are not made by your fellow players, but by birds, dogs, passing cars, etc. Taking a stand of singling out your playing companions for insignificant or incidental breaches of etiquette is just being picky. No one likes an extremist, and that is just as true in this as in any other pursuit.

If your buddy wants to put his club away while you are hitting, let him. If he drops or jams it in, then maybe just ask him to do it more quietly. I can put a club in my bag without making a sound that is audible more than 4 or 5 feet away. If such a small thing as shifting ones weight or scratching ones nose is an unbearable distraction, then you need to work on a remedy or you will find that nobody wants to play with you.

Don't be "that guy" who is such a prissy dick that nobody can stand to be around him. If you deliberately learn to play with minor distractions, then you will eventually learn to ignore them.

Don't take me wrong in this - all players should be respectful of other players, especially while they are making a stroke, but it still doesn't have to be taken to unreasonable extremes. Learn to deal with distraction and those little accidents won't bother you.
 
Movement in the middle of a swing can bother me but talking does not as long as it does' t start during my swing. I do have a couple buddies who will crack a beer intentionally during my swing to try to mess me up but it's happened so many hundreds of times it really doesn't bother me. I'm glad to have friends who can have some juvenile fun on the course and not take things too seriously!
 
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Bullitt5339 said:
What is it with golfers who can't concentrate with any little distraction? Do you have similar problems at home or at work? "Hey, I'm trying to work on this project, could you quit walking past my cubicle until I finish?"....

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I'm trying to mow the lawn. Can everybody please keep it down!"
 
Fourputt said:
I'm an old fogey (68), I learned proper etiquette and respect for the game and the players around me a long time ago. I believe them to be an important part of the game. That said, some people expect others to carry it to a ridiculous extreme. There are always going to be distractions on the golf course, most of them are not made by your fellow players, but by birds, dogs, passing cars, etc. Taking a stand of singling out your playing companions for insignificant or incidental breaches of etiquette is just being picky. No one likes an extremist, and that is just as true in this as in any other pursuit.

If your buddy wants to put his club away while you are hitting, let him. If he drops or jams it in, then maybe just ask him to do it more quietly. I can put a club in my bag without making a sound that is audible more than 4 or 5 feet away. If such a small thing as shifting ones weight or scratching ones nose is an unbearable distraction, then you need to work on a remedy or you will find that nobody wants to play with you.

Don't be "that guy" who is such a prissy dick that nobody can stand to be around him. If you deliberately learn to play with minor distractions, then you will eventually learn to ignore them.

Don't take me wrong in this - all players should be respectful of other players, especially while they are making a stroke, but it still doesn't have to be taken to unreasonable extremes. Learn to deal with distraction and those little accidents won't bother you.
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Pretty Damn Spot On in my book. And oh yeah I'm proud to be a member of the Old Coot Club
 
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