Wife cutting down golf

Having kids should alter your normal life pattern. It did for me, but would I change anything that happened. No I would not.

I used to play twice a week before we had kids but told wife I was cutting that to once a week so I could help out by being a more hands on dad. All us blokes have to remember that having kids is something that both parents bear responsibility for.

Since my kids have grown up I have found that my time for golf is now at a point where the wife doesn't mind how often I go. Within reason. This I think is the result of being sensible when they were born. Work is the problem for me now as that stops me playing in the week.

Stick at things bud and be respectful to your lady's needs and wishes.
 
used to get out every week, then my first was born 22 months ago. didn't play for 6 months, started playing again, probably once every couple of weeks once it got a bit easier for my wife. my 2nd was born 2 months ago. I haven't touched a golf club in 2 months and don't expect to for some time. my wife would be okay if I went and played, but I just feel that 5 hours at home with the wife helping with the kid is better use of my time than on the golf course right now.
 
My youngest goes to full time kindergarten this September. "Freedom 5" as I've been calling it. I've been patient. The last few years I set up a hitting bay in my basement. Hitting foam balls into a sheet. Videoing my swing. Trying to improve that way. Going golfing when I can. Perhaps once a week if I can.
I think the key is to find a happy medium with your wife. You'll never play enough golf with having young kids. As they get older, golf time will increase. The key is balance your golf needs with what's truly more important. That is, being there for your wife and young kids. No point in pissing your wife off. That will only create stress and unhappiness. Not worth it IMHO.
My priorities are family first, my health, my golf. Take care of my family, take care of my health (exercise) and then make time for golf. Doing some house stuff in there, including cleaning and projects, keeps my wife happy and works for us.
Good luck.


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My wife is out playing in a Ryder Cup type event and I have been home all day cleaning our home

You know what, I love that she loves the game of golf ?


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My wife is out playing in a Ryder Cup type event and I have been home all day cleaning our home

You know what, I love that she loves the game of golf


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I love to come home to a clean house! Floors vacuumed and mopped, clean sheets on the bed, house all clean. Now that's the way it should be! Wife playing, husband at home cleaning. Where is supper? :alien: Truly a nice surprise today and so much appreciated!
 
I love to come home to a clean house! Floors vacuumed and mopped, clean sheets on the bed, house all clean. Now that's the way it should be! Wife playing, husband at home cleaning. Where is supper? :alien: Truly a nice surprise today and so much appreciated!

Thanks sweety !


She knows I can't cook at all so my form of cooking is going out to Cracker Barrel


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sorry to hear that your fun and exercise is being cut off. well I don't know you at all and respect you are listening to her......having said that.........whats next? this might be the beginning of the end for you man. sorry but some people do marry the wrong person.
 
So I got into a little heated argument over the weekend with the wife. For the last few years I've averaged a round a week with a second once in a while. This year we had a child (now 7 months old). Since her birth I've all but given up practicing and am averaging about 1 round every 3 weeks. All along I had [vocal] envisions of going back to playing weekly once the baby was 6 months and more independent. This weekend I brought up the irony of the fact that I actually haven't played a round SINCE she turned 6 months. Long story short, the wife thinks that a 5 hour round (gone for 5 hours total) once per week is extremely overboard for having a 7 month old. She has no problem with every other week but not every week.

What makes matters more difficult (for me) is that my best friend and his wife had a baby 6 weeks before us yet he still plays every week, sometimes twice.

I realize that there is no good solution that will magically make her change her mind, and that every one's family is different but I guess I just wanted to vent, and maybe hear if anyone had a similar situation and if it ever improved.

Thanks

My condolences...
 
Hate to say but, welcome to the world of being a parent.

I agree with this statement. Pick your battles but part of parenting is sacrificing some things.
 
Wife cutting down golf

sorry to hear that your fun and exercise is being cut off. well I don't know you at all and respect you are listening to her......having said that.........whats next? this might be the beginning of the end for you man. sorry but some people do marry the wrong person.

That's a little harsh. Do you happen to have kids? Any spouse is going to want their significant other around when little kids are involved. And so they should. There just needs to be a little give on both ends. Worked for my wife and I.


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you took what i wanted to say and boiled it down to one spot-on statement. my wife thinks she is supportive of my golf, but since day 1 she has had a bad attitude about it that comes through no matter how hard she tries. so i play during the week, so that on the weekends my family has my undivided attention. the only weekend golf i play is hitting balls during naps, or taking my oldest for 9 holes. that's the "sacrifice" i have made to keep the peace. my kids are young (3.5 and 1.5), so when they get a little older i can focus more on my game. there is a season for everything.
This right here. The wife will generally let me go golf on the weekends when I can give her a heads up in advance. However, I know it causes some strain, particularly because when the wife and I do get into an argument, the first thing she throws at me is: I let you go golf. I understand it's not easy being alone with the little one, and as such I do all I can to make sure kiddo is up and dressed each morning while mom gets ready for work. Also that his diaper bag is packed, he has enough bibs and clothes to get him through a week if necessary, and his bottles are prep'd and the lunch bag filled with food for the day. I also realize that I travel more than my fair share for work, so I'm gone a week or two every three months or so. I have no doubt it's difficult to handle kiddo alone. It's why I don't fuss at her when she goes shopping after work and gets home late, or if she goes out with the girls for drinks on a weekend night. We both need to unwind and have some "me time", and I realize my idea of "me time" really is a bit more constrained to mornings/afternoons based on friends schedules (if I don't want to play alone) and daylight availability.

But the "I let you go golf" argument really irks me. So all I can say is ... ORLY?

If it's going to be such an issue, I've taken it upon myself to play golf on my own terms. If I want to get in 18 holes, I spend my annual leave to golf during the week, not the weekend. I also wake up two times a week at 5:30 to get the bubster ready for daycare, take him there, drop him off by 6:30 so I can get to my CC by 7, fit in nine, shower and be into work by 9 am. So now no one is letting me golf, I'm doing it during times that impact no one but myself. At this point, if the wife complains about being allowed to sleep in later two days each week without having to hassle with a fussy baby, it's a lost battle anyways. This doesn't address weekends where I'd like to go golf with THPers, but in those cases a quid pro quo situation should suffice.

Sometimes you just need to be creative about how you get your golf time in. It may not be an easy solution (I don't enjoy waking up at 5:30 in the morning) but when you're finally out on the course, all the issues melt away.
 
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Wife cutting down golf

Edit : damnit I can't embed the orly bird


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Edit : damnit I can't embed the orly bird


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This one?

latest
 
If she's offering up 'every 2 weeks' take that and run.
Being at home with a 6-7 month old baby all the time is not easy work. If you are like most people and only get a couple of days off work each week, and are gone for a good chunk of one of those days, that would be a bitter pill to swallow.

Buy some goodwill. Offer up extra time taking care of your baby, and let the wifey go get a mani/pedi, or to a movie, or whatever else that allows her to relax, and in time, she'll appreciate it enough to allow you to have more time to do what you love.

But, at 7 months old, you should be spending as much time with the baby (and wife) as possible. That's not an easy gig your wife as.
 
That's a little harsh. Do you happen to have kids? Any spouse is going to want their significant other around when little kids are involved. And so they should. There just needs to be a little give on both ends. Worked for my wife and I.


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sorry for being the devils advocate but the truth hurts. I've seen too many friends go down this path.....and it don't work. years and lives wasted....not to meantion money.

yes I am happily married, with 2 children 8-11.

my wife never cut off my sports like golf and hockey. we are both busy with our careers but our children come first. we both work in the educational system, I teach full time, I coach on Mondays and Wednesdays in minor hockey, and teach night classes on Monday and Wednesday nights. busy busy busy.

so my wife knows that I need this time to do my things I enjoy and she does the same. we have been married for 24 years now out of high school.

I also go on golfing tournies out of town once a month, I go over seas to follow Iron Maiden around for 2 weeks a year, golf at least 4 times a week....with my son.

I just married my best friend and love of my life and we understand and don't get in the way of each others activities and interests.


I lucked out big time. most my friends hate the freedom I get.
 
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sorry for being the devils advocate but the truth hurts. I've seen too many friends go down this path.....and it don't work. years and lives wasted....not to meantion money.

yes I am happily married, with 2 children 8-11.

my wife never cut off my sports like golf and hockey. we are both busy with our careers but our children come first. we both work in the educational system, I teach full time, I coach on Mondays and Wednesdays in minor hockey, and teach night classes on Monday and Wednesday nights. busy busy busy.

so my wife knows that I need this time to do my things I enjoy and she does the same. we have been married for 24 years now out of high school.

I also go on golfing tournies out of town once a month, I go over seas to follow Iron Maiden around for 2 weeks a year, golf at least 4 times a week....with my son.

I just married my best friend and love of my life and we understand and don't get in the way of each others activities and interests.


I lucked out big time. most my friends hate the freedom I get.

You had me at Iron Maiden!! Nice. Good to see things are great. Now, was it like that for you seven years ago when your kids were super young?


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That's a little harsh. Do you happen to have kids? Any spouse is going to want their significant other around when little kids are involved. And so they should. There just needs to be a little give on both ends. Worked for my wife and I.
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We have to keep in mind, with roughly 50% of marriages ending in divorce (and a lot of others remaining married, while unhappy in that marriage) some people have no clue what it takes to be happily married.

I golf with someone who is always saying stuff like 'I tell my wife I'm going golfing, I don't ask.' I can golf as often as I want.'

Its never ending.

However, after knowing him for about a yr, he just told me him and his wife never hang out together, he can't remember the last time they had sex, they remain married only because of the financial implications of divorce etc...

I'd suggest to the OP be really careful who you take your advice from, and who you are comparing yourself to...and what you want from your marriage and life years down the road.
 
Not married, but my girlfriend sees how much fatter I become in the winter, and am not out walking the course. So, lol, she encourages me. I despise the gym, and will never go to one, and golf is my exercise. I'm always around 20-30 pounds less in the summer, even though i play hockey twice a week in the winter it doesn't do the same as walking a round every day or every couple. For me at least.

I don't see any difference in going to the gym for an hour or so , or golfing nine. It's something necessary, as I'm too lazy to get any other exercise.
 
I'd suggest to the OP be really careful who you take your advice from, and who you are comparing yourself to...and what you want from your marriage and life years down the road.

Exactly. If it's that bad, go seek professional help. You're getting 1000 different viewpoints from guys and their personal experiences. Young kids put any marriage to the ultimate test. Sometimes, the problems lie deeper.


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You could always get some super glue if she needs more bonding time :D

I have 2 kids and I'm lucky to get to play once a month. Not because of any spouse restrictions, but having kids changes your life (in very good ways and very challenging ways). It takes some time to adjust to the "remind me what free time is again" lifestyle that happens when you have kids. Trust me, it gets easier as they get a little older. Enjoy them being little because they don't stay that way for long. Before you know it your kids will be coming to the course and beating you for more allowance.
 
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You could always get some super glue if she needs more bonding time :D

I have 2 kids and I'm lucky to get to play once a month. Not because of any spouse restrictions, but having kids changes your life (in very good ways and very challenging ways). It takes some time to adjust to the "remind me what free time is again" lifestyle that happens when you have kids. Trust me, it gets easier as they get a little older. Enjoy them being little because they don't stay that way for long. Before you know it your kids will be coming to the course and beating your for more allowance.

Exactly. Well put.


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You had me at Iron Maiden!! Nice. Good to see things are great. Now, was it like that for you seven years ago when your kids were super young?


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when my children were young, I still golfed quite a bit.

as for Maiden, I only went out for a couple gigs here and there a week tops.

but for the past 6 years now I have been going from anywhere from 4 weeks to 2 weeks on the road. I can only handle 2 weeks max now bc I get too lonely.

yeah man, seen maiden 67 times all over USA, Canada, uk, Europe and south America.

my wife knows every summer I am going somewhere for 2 weeks.
 
We have a 9 mo. old daughter and I still golf once per week, sometimes twice. I golf every Wednesday with my dad, then give her Thursday to relax and enjoy some time by herself. Occasionally I golf on the weekend when my mother-in-law comes over to visit (that's a win/win. Golf + not having to see her!). Our daughter will always come first, but we also have identities outside of being parents and we try to make sure that each of us has some "down time" to enjoy our individual hobbies. I also travel to the UK every April for a music festival and still went this year. It's finding a routine that works for you as parents. Managing time and deciding what is acceptable. What works for members here might not work for you. Take what is being offered for now (some golf is better than none), and maybe in the future the leash will get a little more slack and you can go more often. I try to do as much around the house as humanly possible to earn my "brownie points". A little effort can go a long way.
 
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