Hate when my kids do that.
Parenting Thread
Hate when my kids do that.
Agent Jay
Grandaddy Alumni
My brother's son sounds similar to your son. They were told he might have Aspergers, but once they did all of the genetic testing, they found nothing. He does not show any signs both physically or mentally of Down Syndrome, but they have not been able to "label" him with anything specifically. He is now 7 (or 8) and will be in 1st or 2nd grade next fall. He's a good kid, he can read (mostly), he has some problems with verbal communication but he can tell you what he wants. He knows I'm "Uncle James" but he won't go out of the way to say "hi" to me. He's a GREAT kid, GREAT KID, and he's very loved by his Mom and Dad, and Grandparents.
Bottom line is, as long as you guys give him all the love and support in the world, that's all he REALLY needs, and I can tell that's what you're going to do. No matter what you find out, and THAT is the TRUE measure of a Dad (and Mom) in my eyes. I'll be thinking about you. If you want, I could give you my brother's email address as I'm sure he would be more than happy to chat with you about what you're going through.
rbarthle17
One-length advocate
Thanks for that. My wife, who has a researching background, has been doing a ton of reading on this. She thinks that Aspergers is not likely, there are so many "classic" signs of that that Zach doesn't show. I'm trying to stay away from overthinking it. One thing I wonder is if he is "only" diagnosed with ADHD will the school system support that with an IEP? At least for now, he is going to require the extra attention (or extra hands at least) because his attention span is a big problem at times (bigger than his siblings - even the younger ones, the only real comparison points I have).
His first appointment is on Monday, mainly the intake session.
Hello all.
I have a 6 week old (first) and NOW understand the troubles of getting out to play. I used to think the wife could handle it for 4-5 hours and then I'd take her and she could go off on her own and do her thing...LOL. I used to practice short game every day after work, have a full range session once per week and play every weekend. Since she's been born I've played 3 times with zero practice or range sessions
. I think it's particularly difficult to swallow because my best friend (and playing partner), who happened to have a son 6 weeks before us, has a wife that plays tennis. Thus he watches the baby when she plays and then she watches him while he plays golf. This is a weekly thing so he gets to play EVERY week. My wife doesn't have any hobby like that so my rounds are difficult to get in. I always scoffed at the notion that my rounds might dwindle down to 1-2 times per month but it seems that this is the direction I am heading which is sad because my game is without question at an all time high.
With the baby being so young and needing attention pretty much 24/7, I'm hoping that when she gets to be 6 months or so (and can be put in a swing or playpen and can entertain herself for an hour here or there) getting out for a round every week might again become a possibility. In the meantime, since I can't play I've begun buying golf clothes and shoes as if I'm on tour. Planning outfits from top to bottom lol. All dressed up with nowhere to go.
I have a 6 week old (first) and NOW understand the troubles of getting out to play. I used to think the wife could handle it for 4-5 hours and then I'd take her and she could go off on her own and do her thing...LOL. I used to practice short game every day after work, have a full range session once per week and play every weekend. Since she's been born I've played 3 times with zero practice or range sessions
. I think it's particularly difficult to swallow because my best friend (and playing partner), who happened to have a son 6 weeks before us, has a wife that plays tennis. Thus he watches the baby when she plays and then she watches him while he plays golf. This is a weekly thing so he gets to play EVERY week. My wife doesn't have any hobby like that so my rounds are difficult to get in. I always scoffed at the notion that my rounds might dwindle down to 1-2 times per month but it seems that this is the direction I am heading which is sad because my game is without question at an all time high. With the baby being so young and needing attention pretty much 24/7, I'm hoping that when she gets to be 6 months or so (and can be put in a swing or playpen and can entertain herself for an hour here or there) getting out for a round every week might again become a possibility. In the meantime, since I can't play I've begun buying golf clothes and shoes as if I'm on tour. Planning outfits from top to bottom lol. All dressed up with nowhere to go.
Agent Jay
Grandaddy Alumni
I hear ya. My brothers son, his Mom, is a Physicians Assistant, so she knows here stuff and did a lot of the same research it sounds like your wife is doing. The part that is the hardest is just NOT knowing. Overthinking the situation isn't going to help you, your wife or son. I know that's easier SAID than done, but until you guys know WHAT you're up against then you don't really know how to "fight it". Being a Dad myself, I get it. None of us want our kids to be in ANY situation that makes their life harder. It sounds like you guys are on the right path. Keep your heads up, one step at a time, and you'll be fine.
Agent Jay
Grandaddy Alumni
Hello all.
I have a 6 week old (first) and NOW understand the troubles of getting out to play. I used to think the wife could handle it for 4-5 hours and then I'd take her and she could go off on her own and do her thing...LOL. I used to practice short game every day after work, have a full range session once per week and play every weekend. Since she's been born I've played 3 times with zero practice or range sessions
With the baby being so young and needing attention pretty much 24/7, I'm hoping that when she gets to be 6 months or so (and can be put in a swing or playpen and can entertain herself for an hour here or there) getting out for a round every week might again become a possibility. In the meantime, since I can't play I've begun buying golf clothes and shoes as if I'm on tour. Planning outfits from top to bottom lol. All dressed up with nowhere to go.
You life and wife sound a LOT like mine. I'm sorry to tell you this, but if you continue down this path...as I did....it's not going to change. I know that's not what you want to read, but it's the truth. My wife has no hobbies (like yours) and thus is a "home body" person. I was not raised this way, and so when my golf habit went from 1 or 2 times a week, down to once a month, down to every other month. That sucks a LOT. You're lucky that you live in Florida, as I do not. So, when Winter gets here and there is no golf anyway, it gets worse.
Here is my suggestion. Force your wife to get out of the house and do something...anything! When she's gone, and you have the kid, you need to earn brownie points. So, pick up the house, do the dishes, fold and put away laundry...ANYTING that will earn you those points, you're going to want to stock pile those!!! Now, talk with your wife, lay out some times for you to play or at least practice. Don't make this about you though, tell her your trying to make some "me time" for you, but also schedule some for her too. This is key, you don't want to make it appear you're not thinking of her too.
If you have another kid, things will get worse for your golf habit, I'm telling you this now so you know. I have two AWESOME little girls (5 & 3) so I know these things. It would wise to invest in a hitting net and hitting mat and DON'T skimp on those, they will end up being your best friends. Also, if you can work it in your budget, or start putting some cash back (as I have). You might want to invest in a Trackman or something similar that you can afford. When you start hitting a LOT of ball into your net, you won't see the true flight you hitting them, so having something that will SHOW you this, will help.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but I thought you needed to know this before it gets worse.
Good luck!
moosejaa
Mr. Inconsistent
My wife was good when we had just 1, maybe a little attitude if the round ran long.
I got out 50+ times each of the last 2 years.
We had our 2nd this past November and I was told
"don't think about playing golf every weekend and leaving me home with an infant and a 2yo."
I see more quick 9 hole rounds while sneaking out of work a little early (my little secret) in my future.
Garage is only 8' so the net and trackman are out
but I had your same idea! My next house will just have to be on a couple acres so I can have my own personal driving range.Thanks for the reply. I have a 9-5 job but have been going in @ 7am, leaving at 3pm (taking no lunch) just so I can get home early. I get home, change out of my work clothes and immediately take over daddy duties. I cook dinner, and more or less take care of the baby at night. I offer every day to take the baby so she can do whatever she wants but has no real hobbies. Last night she asked if I was going to play on Saturday. I said I didn't know yet and if she had any opinion or needed me to not for any reason...she wants to clean the house (I normally clean upstairs and she cleans downstairs weekly). LOL "Sorry guys I can't play because my wife wants to clean the house" yet how do you argue? You cannot. Don't get me wrong, my wife does an unbelievable amount of work (not trying to say I do it all) but having a baby is high on her bucket list and she's not exactly having to give up any part of her life.
Let me ask this...do i sound like a total jerk when I say that I love my daughter and wife but at this point my day to day life kinda sucks because I work full-time then take care of the baby, barely have time to eat, completely stopped going to the gym (can't leave the wife with the baby even longer), and barely get to partake in my one real hobby? I feel like I've kinda lost my identity and now I AM a father instead of just being a father (It's become who I am instead of what I do). I realize it's still early and things hopefully will get better but because I'd like to remain an individual I honestly don't want to have another kid at this point.
End rant. Thanks for listening.
moosejaa
Mr. Inconsistent
Not at all IMO. It is tough though. I get home from work and by the time we have dinner and get the kids ready for bed,
it's time for us to go to sleep. You need to find a way to make some time for yourself, I know I do.
Luckily, my wife has some of her own vices so there is some trade-off. Communication is key. Good luck and it WILL get better.
It gets better as they get older but you need to have a talk with the wife and come to an agreement. After the first 6 months i got back into the golf routine. My "deal" is range any weeknight after the kids go to bed at 8pm and I can play weekends preferably afternoons during nap time.
rbarthle17
One-length advocate
No you do not sound like a jerk at all. You sound like a human being. Most of the people who follow this thread have been in your shoes at least one time, many more. I've been there four times now. Until you are a parent, you have no idea how hard being a parent is, especially mentally. But it also IS your new identity. That is, and will be, your new reality for the rest of your life. I say embrace it.
For me personally, it doesn't take much golf time to get a spring back in my step. I just went out today at lunch and spent 40 minutes with my practice bag (wedges and putter) on the greens. Left feeling completely revitalized. I'll do that 2-3 times a week, totaling 3 hours of a week in a block of time that doesn't affect anyone else. My wife will see the difference in me, and pushes me to get out sometimes. And when that opportunity to get outside and even just practice was taken away by this brutal winter (we had complete ground snow cover literally from November until 2 weeks ago, no breaks) it was a real struggle.
ddelloch
New member
Man these are all things I said just a few months ago.... It seems like there is a line in the sand that varies couple to couple and person to person. I have a buddy who would go to work all day and come home and basically the baby was his problem from that point on. That was pretty much the story with both kids. He has seen the golf course 4 times in the last 5 years.
I was somewhat the opposite. I'm sure I sound like a dick when I say this but basically said that if you are staying home to take care of the baby, that's your deal. I go to work and I will come home and help, but I'm not going to work on 1 hour of sleep any more than I have to since there are no nap breaks in my office. If that doesn't work, I will take the leave and you can go back to your job.
I still come home and do my best to help, cook/clean/give a bath... whatever I can do when it needs to be done, but on an average night, no freakin' way am I getting up with the baby at 2am when I have to be at work at 6.
(obviously there are those nights when it drags on and your spouse just needs some moral support/help in the middle of the night and that is a different story)
Luckily my wife is okay with a day a weekend for golf and once during the week as long as I make family time on other days so far. I'm sure all this will change in a few years when there is soccer practice and baseball and every other thing going on and the kid is in daycare/going to school while the wife is back to work. Will cross those bridges when we get there.
ddelloch
New member
also I played with a guy yesterday who has a kid that has slept 7 to 7 from 5 months on. I kind of wanted to drive my cart over him.... we are just getting into the "sleep training" the last few weeks..... I have a stubborn child it turns out.
Great post. In my opinion this is pretty much exactly correct.No you do not sound like a jerk at all. You sound like a human being. Most of the people who follow this thread have been in your shoes at least one time, many more. I've been there four times now. Until you are a parent, you have no idea how hard being a parent is, especially mentally. But it also IS your new identity. That is, and will be, your new reality for the rest of your life. I say embrace it.
Castor Hades
New member
The discussion about kids, wife's hobbies or lack of, and golf...I feel you guys, and I'm very uncertain of my future this year, I'm 100% sure I will play, and my wife knows how important it is, but with one 2 year old and one infant, I have to put them first, but a person needs to go out and do stuff, take their own time. I'll see how this goes .
Parenting Thread
I've just recently gone through this. We had two girls two years apart. After the first one my golf time stayed the same because there was not a second child in the mix. With number two I found myself practicing more vs playing because is was less time away.
I will say this for the first 6 months or so it will suck. Your life is about the kids and finding that balance. Being a father is the best and hardest thing you will ever do, but the most rewarding.
In terms of golf this is what I did. I cleaned the house, did laundry and cooked. I took everything off my wife's plate and the only thing she had to worry about was taking care of the girls. I had a frank conversation with my wife and explained golf was more than just "time out of the house" & I needed to play/practice. We found common ground and she is even doing things more now with her friends and I keep the girls for 4-5 hours at a time.
Early on it will be tough and you just have to weather the storm. I think communication is huge and you just have to talk and be honest with each other.
I've just recently gone through this. We had two girls two years apart. After the first one my golf time stayed the same because there was not a second child in the mix. With number two I found myself practicing more vs playing because is was less time away.
I will say this for the first 6 months or so it will suck. Your life is about the kids and finding that balance. Being a father is the best and hardest thing you will ever do, but the most rewarding.
In terms of golf this is what I did. I cleaned the house, did laundry and cooked. I took everything off my wife's plate and the only thing she had to worry about was taking care of the girls. I had a frank conversation with my wife and explained golf was more than just "time out of the house" & I needed to play/practice. We found common ground and she is even doing things more now with her friends and I keep the girls for 4-5 hours at a time.
Early on it will be tough and you just have to weather the storm. I think communication is huge and you just have to talk and be honest with each other.
"Son, it's considered poor etiquette to go to a party with stinky armpits."
Yes, this was a sentence I said, exactly as written, to convince my 8 year old that he needed to take a shower this morning.
The things we never thought would ever come out of our mouths...
Yes, this was a sentence I said, exactly as written, to convince my 8 year old that he needed to take a shower this morning.
The things we never thought would ever come out of our mouths...
I can't tell you how many times I've said this. Literally.
ddelloch
New member
Ha the two times in the last 9 months where the wife has said "I think I'm getting sick" were both far more terrifying than "honey I'm pregnant" and "the baby is coming"
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
This. I am in the same boat. My wife is finally coming around and realizing this isn't just a way for me to spend money and get away from all the girls. It's my passion I. Life and it keeps me ticking. Things are much better and getting better each day.
To those new Dads out there, or even moms, give it time. As you settle in to your new life you will find the time to play the game and accomplish what you want in the game, it may just take a little longer is all.
mikedean441
6X HOF
Oldest who is 8 got a diary
Page 1 is the name of a boy she think is cute.
I have 3 daughters does that mean I need 3 shotguns or will 1 do the trick?
Page 1 is the name of a boy she think is cute.
I have 3 daughters does that mean I need 3 shotguns or will 1 do the trick?
Philly Golf Guy
#PGG
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2012
- Messages
- 9,103
- Reaction score
- 7
- Handicap
- USGA 14
I'd go with 3. I have 1 daughter and am thinking 3 myself
Taps away
Taps away