Parenting Thread

[thehackingmurse]

i gotta a couple of these rug rats... a just turned 1 y/o and soon to be 3 y/o.


some day hitting the links:

i'm told they are big for their age - all i know they are a hand full.

I forgive you for the yankees shirt. At least it's Jeter. Thanks for sharing!

 

[tequila4kapp]

Child 1 yesterday = "bad choice" & punishment
Child 2 today = "we found head lice, come pick her up now"
Me = having a lot of fun right now, cold beverages in my very near future.

Ugh.

 

[drp3434]

Child 1 yesterday = "bad choice" & punishment
Child 2 today = "we found head lice, come pick her up now"
Me = having a lot of fun right now, cold beverages in my very near future.

Ugh.

Oh boy, good luck! Problems with both at the same time is, well, not fun. To put it nicely...

 

[Perkins Rooster]

Child 1 yesterday = "bad choice" & punishment
Child 2 today = "we found head lice, come pick her up now"
Me = having a lot of fun right now, cold beverages in my very near future.

Ugh.

Enjoy your well deserved beverages!

 

[tequila4kapp]

@36 hours in and I've learned a very valuable lesson for the future - grounding a kid is no fun for the parent either, it is almost like you are grounded too

 

[drp3434]

@36 hours in and I've learned a very valuable lesson for the future - grounding a kid is no fun for the parent either, it is almost like you are grounded too

How'd that all end up working out for you there, tequila? I feel your pain.

 

[tequila4kapp]

How'd that all end up working out for you there, tequila? I feel your pain.

Thanks for asking. As with most things that cause us heartburn, it all worked out in the end. The son took his punishment like a man. I was very proud of him. It ended up being an instance where we observed some growth and maturity in him, and I think/hope he learned his lesson. The head lice thing has not been fun but we are dueling with it. The beer tasted good

 

[drp3434]

Thanks for asking. As with most things that cause us heartburn, it all worked out in the end. The son took his punishment like a man. I was very proud of him. It ended up being an instance where we observed some growth and maturity in him, and I think/hope he learned his lesson. The head lice thing has not been fun but we are dueling with it. The beer tasted good

That's awesome. It's a lot of fun seeing them grow, more than just physically. Mmmm beer

 

[OUZO Power]

I am fuming right now. I am coming up with scenarios on how to handle this as civil as I can but also want to get the point across to my kids and my neighbor and his kid.

So I have 4 boys. Ages are 5yr-4yr-3yr-9mo.

Awesome kids. I love them to death like all of you love your kids. Well behaved. They are jocks so sometimes things get a little rough. I guess it's expected with 4 boys that close in age. We do our best to keep things in check and always point out right from wrong.

I'm good cop. Mom is bad cop. Yes they are terrified of her when they are in her bad boy radar. Me? Not so much. They take advantage of me. That has to stop.

Coles notes general history.

1) Neighbors 6 year old boy keeps telling my boys to do things that he and my kids know they shouldn't do. He is a persistent penguin. I call him that cause the little turd can't run. He waddles. Yea I'm fuming now. Sorry. On Many occasions I tell him that he shouldn't be telling the boys to do that. The father. He's called the moocher. We have had his family over 30 times for BBQ's. And I don't do burgers and dogs BBQ's. I go all out with steaks and pig roasts. Not once has the moocher invited us. And when he is alone watching his kid everytime the moocher sends the penguin over to play at our house. No consideration that my wife is dealing with 3 kids and a baby.

2) When my kids are having an outbreak and my wife is dealing with it outdoors on two occasions as the neighbor is walking on his driveway he has the balls to tell my wife in one simple word "Discipline" and then walks away. The bastard moocher with one kid says that to my wife. I dare him to say that to me in my face.

What happened yesterday.

So yesterday we are at #2's soccer game. Had 1-2-3 with me. Sent off 1 & 3 to play in the playground 50 yards away. Neighbor was there with his kid. So penguin goes to the playground and moocher is watching the game with me.

Before you know it #3 comes running back balling his eyes out covered in sand. He says his brother #1 threw sand on him. NOW I DIDN'T SEE ANY OF THIS. Actually I did see him throw san on one occasion and gave him the Focker two finger one finger I'm watching you. After when the game finished I let #1 have it. Won’t get into the detail of him being grounded.

What pissed me off is that he did that to his little brother. When we got home he confessed that Penguin kept telling him to throw sand on #3. I lost it there. Was pissed off even more. Was pissed off at #1 even more because he was dumb enough to listen to Penguin and do that to his brother. He turned on his brother for some A hole. Do I believe him? Hell yea. My kids I have tought them not to be rats. And that’s why he didn't give in right away. But he did after a while. And I believe him cause he knows the consequences of lying and because Penguin has been caught many times telling my kids to do things they shouldn't be doing.

Now we have been drilling him since last night about the importance of watching out for his younger brothers and standing up for them. Explained to him the importance of not doing what others tell you to do when you know it's not a good thing. (BTW he is still grounded)

I was livid. I wanted to go next door and punch Moocher and Pinguin in the face. My wife who usually is the hot head calmed me down. We had switched roles this time.

What do I do next time?

1) When conniving penguin tells my kids to do something he doesn't have the balls to do and my kids and penguin know it shouldn't be done? We have told #1 how to respond.

For Kids Option 1: #1 should tell penguin "NO. And don't tell my brothers what to do. You do it if you want." (As long as it's not related to harming any of his brothers)
For Kids Option 2: In an instance like yesterday tell #1 to throw sand in Penguins face instead. Maybe Penguin will get the message and think that wasn't a bright idea after all. I know it's harsh and not really the right thing to do. But I'm pissed. No don't be alarmed. I haven't told my kids to do this. But I'm tempted.

For Me: Do I call out his son next time I catch him? Do I put Penguin and Moochers in their place? I so want to. I don't care for them anymore.

2) Hopefully Moocher has the balls to say "Discipline" to me one day. But I will coach the wife how to react to him if he says it to her again. Which he will. He doesn't have the balls to say it to me.

Do I call him out and the crap we deal with from his son the Penguin? Do I throw in his face all the crap his Penguin son has done? I SO WANT TO.

Thanks for your time guys.

 

[Hawk]

We've got some big neighbor issues Ouzo. Becoming baby sitters by proxy because of inattentive parents and kids that do things we don't agree with. Bottom line is we cut them off. Told the kids they weren't welcome at our house and the parents the same. It was awkward, but screw them. I am respsonsbile for the well being of my kid first and if that means upsetting some randoms then so be it.

 

[IceyShanks]

We've got some big neighbor issues Ouzo. Becoming baby sitters by proxy because of inattentive parents and kids that do things we don't agree with. Bottom line is we cut them off. Told the kids they weren't welcome at our house and the parents the same. It was awkward, but screw them. I am respsonsbile for the well being of my kid first and if that means upsetting some randoms then so be it.

You got that right Ryan, even if it ruffles a few feathers you have to do what's best for your kids, family and home!

 

[Hawk]

You got that right Ryan, even if it ruffles a few feathers you have to do what's best for your kids, family and home!

We waited two years before taking some action and I wish I had that time back. Would have saved me all kinds of trouble.

 

[WMac19]

What do I do next time?

1) When conniving penguin tells my kids to do something he doesn't have the balls to do and my kids and penguin know it shouldn't be done? We have told #1 how to respond.

For Kids Option 1: #1 should tell penguin "NO. And don't tell my brothers what to do. You do it if you want." (As long as it's not related to harming any of his brothers)
For Kids Option 2: In an instance like yesterday tell #1 to throw sand in Penguins face instead. Maybe Penguin will get the message and think that wasn't a bright idea after all. I know it's harsh and not really the right thing to do. But I'm pissed. No don't be alarmed. I haven't told my kids to do this. But I'm tempted.

For Me: Do I call out his son next time I catch him? Do I put Penguin and Moochers in their place? I so want to. I don't care for them anymore.

2) Hopefully Moocher has the balls to say "Discipline" to me one day. But I will coach the wife how to react to him if he says it to her again. Which he will. He doesn't have the balls to say it to me.

Do I call him out and the crap we deal with from his son the Penguin? Do I throw in his face all the crap his Penguin son has done? I SO WANT TO.

Thanks for your time guys.

My kids are older now, soon to be 18 and 16. Went through similar with a neighbor girl, a couple of years older than my daughter, my youngest.

The girl had a foul mouth and was always egging the kids on similarly to misbehave. Had her dad been a moocher, it would've made what I did even easier.

I simply sent her home and told her she's not welcome here until she stops the cursing and bad behavior. "I'm telling my dad!" were here parting words.

Dad approached me with an attitude, the moment I detected the attitude, I told him to eff off. That was the end of it. Sorry, former city cop, I don't have the patience for such nonsense.

Hopefully, your situation doesn't come down to that. The girl in my scenario was about 8 and my daughter 6. 8 is old enough to know better. 6, as in your case, may be old enough too but the ability to reason at that age may not be set yet.

IMO, you need to approach the dad as there's familiarity there, keeping your emotion and frustration at bay. Tell him honestly how you perceive the situation to be. If he reacts negatively, insults, dismisses, whatever, you be the judge... If that were to happen I'd make it clear that my home was now off-limits until he could be reasonable. Maybe I'm too direct, I dont know. But selfishly, when comes to my family... my home, my (our) rules.

 

[Agent Jay]

We waited two years before taking some action and I wish I had that time back. Would have saved me all kinds of trouble.

Big props for doing that Hawk. That would have been awkward, but there has to be a point where neighbor was walking away from you and said to himself, "Wonder why he said that?" If he's not to dumb, then he knows why. My cousin has something similar to this with his neighbor. Couple of younger girl, 10 and 7 I think. The 10 year old actually said to him, and his daughters, that she was pregnant with triplets! What 10 year old does that? Why? They call the 7 year old the stray cat. The two kids actually have walked into their house, without knocking, and asked for a snack...more than once! Granted, I have NO idea about that family or their situation, but still. Your and O's story's made me think about what my cousin was telling me this last weekend while we were there for a family reunion.

 

[drp3434]

I agree with Hawk, cut them off. Doesn't matter how awkward it gets or anything else, number one priority is always your kids. You have to do right by them, and that's all that matters. I wouldn't stoop to your neighbor's level, not a good example to set for your kids.

 

[IceyShanks]

We waited two years before taking some action and I wish I had that time back. Would have saved me all kinds of trouble.

That's good for me to know though. We just moved houses and I will have to make sure we stand fast from the beginning.


Siri speaks for me!

 

[tequila4kapp]

First, the comment above about family first and dealing with it now are 100% correct. We had to do that with my in-laws. They got mad and disowned us and we're now on our own. It is really hard. But I can't tell you how many times (I won't go into the specifics) a "trouble issue" comes up in daily life and my wife and I end up talking about how WE are responsible for OUR kids and if we hadn't taken that stand our kids wouldn't handle that day's "trouble issue" appropriately. The point being, however hard the decisions and discussion may be, we gotta do what's right for us and ours.

Second, how to handle the other family? Communication and setting boundaries is the starting point. Moocher simply needs to be made aware of what is happening, that it isn't acceptable, that you want it to stop and there will be consequences to Penguin if it doesn't stop (i.e., he won't get to play with the kids...AND if Moocher has half a brain he should recognize that means he looses his free pass of having your wife watch the kids). Speaking of which, perhaps your wife could stop allowing Penguin to come over and play when she's alone with # kids. Just start sending him home ("I can't watch 5 boys by myself") and inviting Moocher to get off his duff and come help watch.

Third, recognize this is a teaching opportunity for your kids about how handle problems and conflicts with people. Your choices can be a model for them. If you think about how you want your kids to handle conflicts with people perhaps you could look at ways to incorporate those behaviors here (e.g., direct conversations vs. passive aggressive behavior, firm/polite conversation vs. heated arguments, problem resolution vs. making things personal, etc.).

Lastly - this sucks man, sorry you have to go through this. Good luck!

 

[OUZO Power]

Everyone. Thanks for the pointers. Today all parties involved got a taste of what's to come.

We where out with the boys playing road hockey.

Moocher and Penguin popped out and headed our way.

Said to my kids they can't play with him for a week. With the penguin and mooches present.

If you don't like it everyone can head to their rooms.

I told moocher there was an incident I didn't approve of yesterday at the play ground and they are cutoff with playing with other kids for a week. Including his son.

Moocher and Penguin had no choice but to move on.

To be continued.....

 

[drp3434]

Well done OUZO. Hopefully things work out from now on. But I wouldn't be surprised if it takes more than once.

 

[War Eagle]

Just watched Charlotte's Web on the laptop with my daughter. Prior to watching the movie, she told me she needed to hold the laptop, because she has a lap and it was on her legs.

 

[TRyan]

Just watched Charlotte's Web on the laptop with my daughter. Prior to watching the movie, she told me she needed to hold the laptop, because she has a lap and it was on her legs.

Haha. Your daughter says some really funny stuff dude. That is awesome

 

[Hawk]

Aww. Love that movie War.

 

[fairband]

Well played, I hope they realize what is happening.

 

[War Eagle]

Haha. Your daughter says some really funny stuff dude. That is awesome

She is hysterical.

It went something like this; "Daddy, I have a lap, it's right here...on my legs"

 

[tequila4kapp]

My son is playing Wii boxing for the first time. Upon KO'ng his second opponent he exclaimed "Ha, I hit him in his privates!" And "You are going down!" Boys.