Balancing Parenthood and Golf
The big thing I did was never golf on weekends. I can’t recommend this enough. Their childhood goes by in a blur.
Nine hole rounds became normal for many years. Now that they are older, there’s never a sacrifice anymore. More than making up for lost golf time.
Nine hole rounds became normal for many years. Now that they are older, there’s never a sacrifice anymore. More than making up for lost golf time.
I was coming to say this. Yes your time with decrease drastically but you and your wife need breaks. Mine was my Thursday Night golf league. Granted I didn't get to play much besides that it was still my chance for golf. As they get older hopefully they will enjoy it as much as you do and you can go with them. My daughter is just getting into middle school golf so I purchased her a Jr membership at the local course and we are going to make it a priority to play on Tuesday Nights. Just because they get older doesn't mean things get less busy, I think I'm running around more now where before it was more care and board games with the little ones.
Also the putting mat is a great idea, I think my kids use it more than I do....
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Take this to heart. The MOST common regret of people age 55 and older is that they didn't invest more time into their children and family as the kids were growing up. I've never heard ONE person in that age range tell me they regret that they didn't invest more time playing golf while their kids were growing up.
I tell young parents the same thing @DataDude said. Golf is a game for the rest of your life. You'll have ebbs and flows due to life stages and circumstances. But golf will always be there when you are ready.
I have been doing a lot of putting indoors, I don't know if it'll solve anything but it's fun.
I started golfing when I had my first, give or take, so with 2 kids under 5 now the time to play isn't great. I tend to get up and go early on a Saturday/Sunday morning - like 6/7am that way I play 9 and I could get home by 8 or 9. 2 hours = 9 holes plus travel both ways.
I have a weekly league night that I play in, and one night a week that is planned out isn't a sacrifice. You'll see with my posting that I'm here for hours, then gone for hours - when I'm with my kids that's what I'm doing, I don't go online or play on my phone or computer I am engaged and with them. They are 100% the most important thing to me. That goes with golf too, if I wanted to golf but they want to spend time with me we don't go golfing, we go do what they want.
My answer is, find a time where you can schedule it since you need to schedule it or it won't happen.
I started golfing when I had my first, give or take, so with 2 kids under 5 now the time to play isn't great. I tend to get up and go early on a Saturday/Sunday morning - like 6/7am that way I play 9 and I could get home by 8 or 9. 2 hours = 9 holes plus travel both ways.
I have a weekly league night that I play in, and one night a week that is planned out isn't a sacrifice. You'll see with my posting that I'm here for hours, then gone for hours - when I'm with my kids that's what I'm doing, I don't go online or play on my phone or computer I am engaged and with them. They are 100% the most important thing to me. That goes with golf too, if I wanted to golf but they want to spend time with me we don't go golfing, we go do what they want.
My answer is, find a time where you can schedule it since you need to schedule it or it won't happen.
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I struggled with this and still struggle with this today. There is no easy answer.
Try to have putting mats like others have said. I always felt bad leaving my wife for 4 or 5 hours with a newborn when she was obviously tired (feeding,etc). So it becomes a delicate balance I think. If you have room for a hitting mat and net somewhere, get one. Spend more time at the driving range for a short time, rather than playing.
Try to give your wife time to get out and it'll be easier for her to let you go and have some time away.
Eventually it will get easier, my kids are now joining me on the course. That's not always easy as they don't listen the best yet, but I look forward to the time I get to spend with them golfing in the future.
Try to have putting mats like others have said. I always felt bad leaving my wife for 4 or 5 hours with a newborn when she was obviously tired (feeding,etc). So it becomes a delicate balance I think. If you have room for a hitting mat and net somewhere, get one. Spend more time at the driving range for a short time, rather than playing.
Try to give your wife time to get out and it'll be easier for her to let you go and have some time away.
Eventually it will get easier, my kids are now joining me on the course. That's not always easy as they don't listen the best yet, but I look forward to the time I get to spend with them golfing in the future.
I'm a single dad with a 4 year old that stays with me 6 days a week. It has definitely interrupted my golf game, but I've found some ways to practice at home. I bought a putting mat and a small mat for practicing my chipping with foam balls. I also practice my takeaway in the living room and any movements that don't require a club as well. It's not ideal, but at least gives me some reps when I can't hit balls outside.
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Congratulations on becoming a new dad!! For all the anxiety and "what if's" that parenthood throws your way, it is still the best thing ever!
As far as golf goes.... I've played golf since i was probably 10 or so (i'm late 50's now).... Once we had kids my golf time went to almost nil for many years. Between work (I have my own business) and family responsibilities, i just didn't feel that heading off solo to play golf was the best use of my time.
I can't say that i regret that one bit. i probably could have planned my time a little better in order to play SOME golf, other than just the occasional charity scramble.) but i'm certainly not losing any sleep over it. Enjoy parenthood and best of luck with your golf!! Sounds like you have flexibility with your work that allows for a bit of freedom to get time on the course!
As far as golf goes.... I've played golf since i was probably 10 or so (i'm late 50's now).... Once we had kids my golf time went to almost nil for many years. Between work (I have my own business) and family responsibilities, i just didn't feel that heading off solo to play golf was the best use of my time.
I can't say that i regret that one bit. i probably could have planned my time a little better in order to play SOME golf, other than just the occasional charity scramble.) but i'm certainly not losing any sleep over it. Enjoy parenthood and best of luck with your golf!! Sounds like you have flexibility with your work that allows for a bit of freedom to get time on the course!
Weekends , play early like 600am . Round of golf get home right after 900 - 930. Everyone getting up whole day in front of you and lol no naps.
Compromise and plan. My wife is an avid golfer. The compromise, I got Wednesday night league, she got right of first refusal on the weekends. I would meet her and her family out at the course with the kids and hit the range when they had lunch after the round. Any 18 hole event was planned out weeks in advance and written on the calendar with ink.
After a few years, the kids came out with us and rode in the cart and watched their kindles while we golfed. Now, the kids play with us.
Yeah, it's hard at this stage. But that's all part of the deal.
After a few years, the kids came out with us and rode in the cart and watched their kindles while we golfed. Now, the kids play with us.
Yeah, it's hard at this stage. But that's all part of the deal.
18 hole rounds are a special treat.
They are. Requires a lot more planning to make happen. I enjoy it when it does. 9 holes doesn’t take much more time than going to the gym.
I’ll say it gets better as kids get older. I have teenagers now so it is much easier. Even better when my son wants to go play. I genuinely look forward to him learning the game to the point he can be a regular playing partner. That’s the dream anyway.
Wantacigar
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Hmm...
I have 3 daughters and 1 son with 7 years from oldest to youngest almost to the day. Oldest born March 1994 and youngest born March 2001. In early 2000's I bought a new set of Cobra 3100's. I've been playing since late 80's. My first new set of clubs I bought myself was Spaulding Executives and I generally played 2-3 times/month. Around 2002 my oldest daughter started playing softball in a local league. by 2004 both my daughters were on travel teams. By 2006 all three of my daughters were playing travel softball and I was driving up and down the eastern seaboard and going as far west as Colorado for softball tournaments and national championships. Needless to say I went from around 20-30 rounds a year to about 3. Some years only 1. All my time and money went into their travel sports. Also my son (6'3" lefty pitcher) played travel baseball. Bought a new set of TM Sim2 Max Irons in January 2020. My Cobras only had less than 50 rounds on them. It was all worth it though. I have a relationship with my kids that I wouldn't give up for the world. My oldest daughter played Div. Softball with about $7,500/year in sports scholarships. 2nd daughter got full ride to Seton Hall and pitched for them. My 3rd daughter (born without a left hand) was the starting catcher for her Div. 3 college and was very hard to steal on and batted 295. My son went to college for Mech. Engineering and didn't want the demands of Div. 1 baseball to interfere with school. Around 2016 I started playing more consistently with about 20 rounds. I played around 45-50 rounds in 2023. I VERY RARELY missed any games from their tournaments or high school. Golf had to take a back seat to kids. I'm now 57 and looking forward to many more years of golf but the relationships I've developed with my kids far outweigh any golfing I may have missed because of them. Now my 23 year old son is getting into golf and he just got a set of hand-me-down TM Sim2 Max irons with about 3 years of use. LOL. Because all 4 kids chipped in for a Birthday/Christmas gift of a new set of PXG 0211 XCor2 irons.
Sorry for the long post but thought it was relevant
I have 3 daughters and 1 son with 7 years from oldest to youngest almost to the day. Oldest born March 1994 and youngest born March 2001. In early 2000's I bought a new set of Cobra 3100's. I've been playing since late 80's. My first new set of clubs I bought myself was Spaulding Executives and I generally played 2-3 times/month. Around 2002 my oldest daughter started playing softball in a local league. by 2004 both my daughters were on travel teams. By 2006 all three of my daughters were playing travel softball and I was driving up and down the eastern seaboard and going as far west as Colorado for softball tournaments and national championships. Needless to say I went from around 20-30 rounds a year to about 3. Some years only 1. All my time and money went into their travel sports. Also my son (6'3" lefty pitcher) played travel baseball. Bought a new set of TM Sim2 Max Irons in January 2020. My Cobras only had less than 50 rounds on them. It was all worth it though. I have a relationship with my kids that I wouldn't give up for the world. My oldest daughter played Div. Softball with about $7,500/year in sports scholarships. 2nd daughter got full ride to Seton Hall and pitched for them. My 3rd daughter (born without a left hand) was the starting catcher for her Div. 3 college and was very hard to steal on and batted 295. My son went to college for Mech. Engineering and didn't want the demands of Div. 1 baseball to interfere with school. Around 2016 I started playing more consistently with about 20 rounds. I played around 45-50 rounds in 2023. I VERY RARELY missed any games from their tournaments or high school. Golf had to take a back seat to kids. I'm now 57 and looking forward to many more years of golf but the relationships I've developed with my kids far outweigh any golfing I may have missed because of them. Now my 23 year old son is getting into golf and he just got a set of hand-me-down TM Sim2 Max irons with about 3 years of use. LOL. Because all 4 kids chipped in for a Birthday/Christmas gift of a new set of PXG 0211 XCor2 irons.
Sorry for the long post but thought it was relevant
Sure does. One minute you're changing a diaper, next they have their license, next they are graduating college. It may SEEM like the time drags when you are in the moment (a toddler melt down in the grocery store), but really it's goes by in the blink of an eye.
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A weeknight league night is a great option as they are usually a good value and it can pretty easily become part of the routine.
Wantacigar
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I remember the day my oldest was born (3/19/94) She is married 2 years, just turned 30 and expecting. Felt like I went to bed one night and woke up almost a grandfather.
daughter #2 married 12/2/23. Honeymoon pregnancy and due end of September.
I still can't believe I'm 57 years old.
for me it was sneaking out when my wife would go for a visit with her or my mother. my wife was also very cool about letting me get out, when we were both rested, for a little golf or fishing.
don't forget to return the favor to your wife. both of you need some free time. you do your thing but make sure she gets out as well for a girls night or just some time alone. makes life soooo much easier when you are both happy.....at least as happy as you can be with a baby.
don't forget to return the favor to your wife. both of you need some free time. you do your thing but make sure she gets out as well for a girls night or just some time alone. makes life soooo much easier when you are both happy.....at least as happy as you can be with a baby.
I can't answer you because it's different for all of us. What I can tell you, and keep in mind that my youngest daughter will be 26 this year as to my perspective. I coached both my kids (with other moms and dads) through every sport they played (not field hockey, I was just a dad for that, my wife coached them in field hockey).
I missed one game for daughter #2 when she was in year 1 or 2 of softball still hitting off a tee (I think it was). I will say maybe 6 years old, or 7. Here I am now 19 years later and I still have a small distaste in my mouth for missing that 1 game - to play golf with a co-coach for soccer for kid #1. I wish I could turn that back, 100% without question or hesitation. I think about it still at least every week or so - have even talked with the kid and my wife about it - they both say I am nuts.
So, how did I fix it for me? Range time was minimal - occasional after work on the way home or even at lunch, an golf was daybreak tee time on non game days (Sunday). home before noon and able to spare my wife if she needed or wanted a break - whatever you do, good luck, to you, and to your family.
I have a 6yr old and I have played 50+ rounds every year since she was born.
I play very early on the weekends or on a Friday when she was at school/daycare (assuming you work remote and have some job flexibility).
I would also go to the range on lunch breaks since she is at school or daycare during the day
I play very early on the weekends or on a Friday when she was at school/daycare (assuming you work remote and have some job flexibility).
I would also go to the range on lunch breaks since she is at school or daycare during the day
I play half of my golf with my kid, who is on 2 of my leagues with me and we play together on weekends. I am sure that will slow down when he becomes a Dad. As for when my sons were born, my golf was once a weekend with my crew, and 2-3 days during the work week golfing or fishing while schmoozing Big 3 customers. It was a tough life, but I managed.
As others have said, it's likely that golf will take a backseat for awhile. My kids are grown now (26 and 22).
Golf ebbed and flowed during different phases of parenthood. Things slowed down when our first was an infant...then started to pick up as she got older. The second changed everything. Like the OP, I had some job flexibility and would use an extended lunch or leave a bit early in the day to sneak a little range time in. Or take PTO to play on weekdays. I rationalized it as I was taking time away from work rather than time away from family.
Things got a little easier for a window they were elementary school age, somewhat independent and being gone wasn't as big of a deal.
But if they are interested in any type of competitive sport, your calendar will get swallowed up when they are older, lol. Life becomes a carousel of driving kids to practice/games/tournaments, etc.
You'll never regret the time you spend with them when they are young. They are going to reach a point where they'll have their own friends/lives that are their priority and you'll long for the days when they wanted nothing more than to hang out with you.
As others have said, golf will always be there for you. When the youngest went to college, I suddenly had more golf time than I knew what to do with.
It's a cliche but the saying the 'the days are long but the years are short' is true. It felt like it went by in a blink of an eye. In my head it seems unfathomable that my kids are grown, it seemed like yesterday they were 12 and 8.
Golf ebbed and flowed during different phases of parenthood. Things slowed down when our first was an infant...then started to pick up as she got older. The second changed everything. Like the OP, I had some job flexibility and would use an extended lunch or leave a bit early in the day to sneak a little range time in. Or take PTO to play on weekdays. I rationalized it as I was taking time away from work rather than time away from family.
Things got a little easier for a window they were elementary school age, somewhat independent and being gone wasn't as big of a deal.
But if they are interested in any type of competitive sport, your calendar will get swallowed up when they are older, lol. Life becomes a carousel of driving kids to practice/games/tournaments, etc.
You'll never regret the time you spend with them when they are young. They are going to reach a point where they'll have their own friends/lives that are their priority and you'll long for the days when they wanted nothing more than to hang out with you.
As others have said, golf will always be there for you. When the youngest went to college, I suddenly had more golf time than I knew what to do with.
It's a cliche but the saying the 'the days are long but the years are short' is true. It felt like it went by in a blink of an eye. In my head it seems unfathomable that my kids are grown, it seemed like yesterday they were 12 and 8.
I went from 3-4 rounds a week before kids, to a few a month after #1 was born, to 3 rounds total between 2006 - 2018. Can’t say I missed a thing.
It’s gonna come down to a conversation with your wife. Sorry, but I don’t much have much give when it comes to parenting and family. My buddies and I share the same advice to “dad the f up”. Good news is we all now have kids in college and are knocking the rust off our golf games.
It’s gonna come down to a conversation with your wife. Sorry, but I don’t much have much give when it comes to parenting and family. My buddies and I share the same advice to “dad the f up”. Good news is we all now have kids in college and are knocking the rust off our golf games.
I have a 2 and 7 year old and it comes down to having to plan your days way more than you ever had to ensure you play golf, spend time with the family, and complete other household tasks that need done. Also it's realizing your going to be playing at less ideal times to accommodate schedules.
I will probably play 75 rounds this year and hop on my sim at home another 75 which is done mostly after bed if the oldest doesn't want to hit.
I will probably play 75 rounds this year and hop on my sim at home another 75 which is done mostly after bed if the oldest doesn't want to hit.