Lets talk about....The Cart Girl

[KingsKraken]

I mean, we're on the internet talking about it... I think it matters what you think.

Not like we're going to solve anything, outside of sharing horror stories and talking through what IS appropriate.

But that’s my point. It doesn’t matter what I think about any particular interaction. It’s what the person being touched thinks about the physical contact, because it’s all about consent. Consent is never implied, so unless you know someone is comfortable being touched by you, don’t do it, especially in a business transaction.

 

[Canadan]

But that’s my point. It doesn’t matter what I think about any particular interaction. It’s what the person being touched thinks about the physical contact, because it’s all about consent. Consent is never implied, so unless you know someone is comfortable being touched by you, don’t do it, especially in a business transaction.

I think we're both kind of talking about the same thing as a whole. I was just asking whether verbal or physical consent held the said sort of regard from your perspective.

If the cart girl leads with it or plays along (from a verbal perspective), I think personally that it's fine - seems like they get to set those terms with 90% of the experiences they have. I think we're both on the same page for the other 10% who go way too far with it.

 

[KingsKraken]

I think we're both kind of talking about the same thing as a whole. I was just asking whether verbal or physical consent held the said sort of regard from your perspective.

If the cart girl leads with it or plays along (from a verbal perspective), I think personally that it's fine - seems like they get to set those terms with 90% of the experiences they have. I think we're both on the same page for the other 10% who go way too far with it.

Right. My point is that I don’t make judgment on how someone should feel about any given situation. It’s always a safe bet to err on the side of caution and engage in business transactions with friendly, respectful, professionalism even when you’re the customer. It’s the no lose approach.

 

[JonMA1]

I don't have a lot of experience seeing older guys being inappropriate towards younger women driving the beverage cart. Only one of the courses I play regularly offers a beverage cart service and I can't remember ever buying anything as I bring my own water or sports drink. Of the guys I play golf with, I don't believe any of them would act in any way beyond polite.

That said, I've seen older guys acting like total a-holes towards younger women in other places - usually servers at restaurants and bars. It's embarrassing to be at the same table when that happens. I've seen my brother-in-law become one of those guys after a couple of drinks.

I've never understood it. Not sure if they believe they have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid or if they think they are impressing everyone at the table (which of course they are but not in a good way).

It's one thing to be polite or even joke in a non-sexual way, and completely different once that line is crossed. As long as no laws are broken, I suppose people can act how they want - just as I can choose who to play golf with.

 

[5150]

Because they forget they where taught manners and how to treat a lady. I try to picture my daughter and think would I want to be treating her this way.

There was a young lady who worked on my team at the office awhile back. Smart, personable, easygoing, and professional - the whole deal.

Once I mentioned we should do a team outing. She immediately looked away and said no thanks. I said oh, not a golfer?

She replied “I was a cart girl for a season during college. I’ve never been treated so poorly and will never go to a golf course again. You name it: harassed, groped, everything. Ugh.”

I treat the beverage cart person the same way I try to treat everyone: with respect and kindness.

 

[dpgator33]

When I first moved to Oregon and started playing at the one course here, I was kind of shocked that they don’t have on course beverage service. I’m used to it now, but it does seem a little odd. Here on the coast the courses are open year round - I get why in the off season they wouldn’t due to the propensity for cold/wet/windy conditions, but during high season even...nothing. There is a nice bar with outdoor seating and a huge practice/for fun putting green adjacent to the 9th tee, so there is opportunity to grab a drink there, but that’s it. Most of the patrons there are not golfers, it’s more of a neighborhood watering hole. Once or twice I remember there being a cart girl, but it was I think on a Labor Day, and it was one day and never again.


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[Duffer Seamus]

She replied “I was a cart girl for a season during college. I’ve never been treated so poorly and will never go to a golf course again. You name it: harassed, groped, everything. Ugh.”

That's appalling. No young woman should ever have to suffer such abuse, regardless of what she's wearing.

When I first moved to Oregon and started playing at the one course here, I was kind of shocked that they don’t have on course beverage service.

I've played five public ranges here in S.E. Mi., so far. I've never seen on-course beverage service. The bar/restaurant was closed due to Covid-19 for two of them, but those of the other three were open.

 

[5150]

That's appalling. No young woman should ever have to suffer such abuse, regardless of what she’s wearing.

I agree.

Too much drunk golf going on out there.

 

[mikeg_74]

some interesting stories here.

 

[Canadan]

There was a young lady who worked on my team at the office awhile back. Smart, personable, easygoing, and professional - the whole deal.

Once I mentioned we should do a team outing. She immediately looked away and said no thanks. I said oh, not a golfer?

She replied “I was a cart girl for a season during college. I’ve never been treated so poorly and will never go to a golf course again. You name it: harassed, groped, everything. Ugh.”

I treat the beverage cart person the same way I try to treat everyone: with respect and kindness.

I hate to hear stories like that.

 

[BriMac]

My 15yo daughter recently asked me if she could work as the cart girl at my home course.

we don’t even have a cart girl but it was a firm hell no. Keep tutoring and babysitting for now.

 

[Smiter]

The cart girls take in $300-$600 in tips a day at thecourse I work. I told management (jokingly) that I'd sue them for discrimination since only the girls are allowed to drive the cart and I want a turn! I think the whole, "You need a hot looking cart girl to sell drinks" is overrated. I'd outsell everyone of them. I'd upsell everything! "You sure you don't want to make it a double....it's usually the ladies I sell single shot servings to". "You sure you don't want to grab a couple extra beers since it's a big course and don't know how long it will take to get back around". Etc, etc, etc....all with a smile on my face of course. A good personality goes a long way!

You might outsell then but I’m usually already golfing with a bunch of ugly old guys. I’m not one to hit on the cart girl, but it is nice to see a pleasant smile once in awhile.

 

[rollin]

I always hated the guys that treated girls like jerks. Not just applying this to the cart girl but even in general. Its sometimes mindboggling to me what fools so many guys make of themselves as for the things they say and how they act. Like as if saying "hey baby" is going to result in the girl jumping on top of him.

That said there is some reason for some of it in that just enough girls/woman do actually respond to these jerks and are not at all always such victims nor so innocent.
If that wasnt the case , the jerks wouldnt have much motive to do it. And through my years Ive heard stuff come out of girls mouths too that would blow your mind.

You know........its not like girls/woman are always so innocent in this picture as society would portray. I mean certainly many more guys will say much more out loud and do much more acting out foolishly and even disrespectfully, but what girls/woman say and do behind closed doors can often be just as bad and even worse while portraying the innocent honest sweaty.

trust me,...im not suggesting the cart girls be subject to idiots and i feel for them when I see it and i do not like it at all. I think of my own daughter and treat accordingly. But only just noting things are not always so one sided as we think. And if a cart girl really was attracted to a guy even if he was a jerk its very possible she might react welcoming to it just the way the jerk guy wanted. Probably not most but perhaps enough.

 

[greg19]

You might outsell then but I’m usually already golfing with a bunch of ugly old guys. I’m not one to hit on the cart girl, but it is nice to see a pleasant smile once in awhile.

What makes you think i don't have a pleasant smile, lol??

 

[Smiter]

What makes you think i don't have a pleasant smile, lol??

Uh, you’re a guy? I wouldn’t notice if you did or not, lol.

 

[Canadan]

My 15yo daughter recently asked me if she could work as the cart girl at my home course.

we don’t even have a cart girl but it was a firm hell no. Keep tutoring and babysitting for now.

I think that has to be a course by course decision thought, right? I wouldn’t hesitate to send a friends daughter to work at my home course, based on what I’ve experienced and what they’ve told me.

 

[greg19]

Uh, you’re a guy? I wouldn’t notice if you did or not, lol.

It's all about the gift of gab. Get people talking about their favorite subject (themselves, their golf game, or their equipment) and it's game over! Bonus points for handing out a bag of chips or candy bar or some other lower priced item as a thank you for their tip (while paying for it out of my own tips afterwards). When people are treated friendly most reply the same way.

Same as the club cleaning thread. I'll the the kids down to clean clubs and they do it half heartedly and don't interact with the golfers, mostly due to being shy and have mixed results. I'll give them a hard time (jokingly) and they will tell me to just go down and clean. Management doesn't want me spending my day on the 18th green as i'm in charge of all the kids working outside but i'll go down to humor them from time to time. As the golfers come off i'll tell one of them it was the longest drive i've seen all day or another that it was the closest ive seen someone come to holing it with a wedge or that nodody makes that putt from where they were. I'll ask someone about their clubs and that I was thinking of getting a set, respond tho their remark about how dirty their clubs are, etc etc. This all takes place as i'm quickly wiping the last couple of wedges and thanking them for coming out and choosing our course to play. I'll see them reaching fortheir wallets but slowly start to walk away as they tell me to hold on a minute. I genuinely thank each and everyone one of them and tell them to enjoy the rest of their day. I go back to the barn after an hour or so and the kids would ask how I did and they would do a double take when i took the tips from my pocket. I explained to them it's not about cleaning the clubs, it's about the experience of having them cleaned. We are usually the last people they see as they leave the course so therefore we are also the last chance to leave a positive stamp on their day. If they don't tip I still thank them the say way and to enjoy their night. I just personally enjoy the interactions with fellow golfers.

 

[buckeyewalt]

I think that has to be a course by course decision thought, right? I wouldn’t hesitate to send a friends daughter to work at my home course, based on what I’ve experienced and what they’ve told me.

Kind of the route I was going with this. On home courses, you probably know either the girls family, or they probably know you or your family either way you wouldn't act in a disrespectful manner. One the other hand, resort courses are probably the most vulnerable to this type of situation. I also agree with GG in that I've been to a lot of courses where the cart girls attire is probably more suitable for the pool than it is for the course. Still inexcusable, but there are two sides to certain situations.

 

[BriMac]

I think that has to be a course by course decision thought, right? I wouldn’t hesitate to send a friends daughter to work at my home course, based on what I’ve experienced and what they’ve told me.

True - I did tell her even if it was possible, she would need to wear a shirt saying “I am 15 and my dad is ____”.

 

[Canadan]

True - I did tell her even if it was possible, she would need to wear a shirt saying “I am 15 and my dad is ____”.

hahahahaha sadly, there are dudes out there that wouldn't be at all concerned with a shirt like that.

 

[ddstanford]

They are out there to bring you beverages on course, nothing else.... but I have seen it soooo many times where guys start tipping excessively in the hopes that she will flirt with them a bit. Often at charity outings but sometimes on course, buying her shots. I have seen one get so drunk that she drove over a bunker in the beverage cart dukes of hazzard style luckily she was ok.

They put up with a lot of crap and I'm guessing make decent money but my question is why is this behavior acceptable?

It's not acceptable. they should all be trained to say "you remind me of my father (or grandfather)" said with a big smile

 

[MH]

I think it goes both ways, my oldest son worked the beer cart for ladies league when he finished high school. It was almost comical hearing how many shots were bought for him and how many middle aged women women would constantly flirt. He did enjoy those couple of years and really looked for to Tuesday night for the tips

 

[BuckNasty]

I think it goes both ways, my oldest son worked the beer cart for ladies league when he finished high school. It was almost comical hearing how many shots were bought for him and how many middle aged women women would constantly flirt. He did enjoy those couple of years and really looked for to Tuesday night for the tips

 

[5150]

I think it goes both ways, my oldest son worked the beer cart for ladies league when he finished high school. It was almost comical hearing how many shots were bought for him and how many middle aged women women would constantly flirt. He did enjoy those couple of years and really looked for to Tuesday night for the tips

I once worked at a large women’s conference with approx 30,000 women in attendance. My job (not kidding) was to wear a tuxedo and walk around with a big bowl of chocolate truffles to hand out... sorta the women’s conference version of a beer cart girl, I suppose.

I got catcalled and groped several times myself. It was mildly amusing but got old fast and I found myself thinking “What about this situation makes you think it’s fine to grab my @$$?”

It was a bit of an epiphany for me to see what it’s like to be in that position.

 

[JonMA1]

“What about this situation makes you think it’s fine to grab my @$$?”

Maybe you were asking for it by wearing just the tuxedo jacket and no pants.

Seriously, acting appropriately towards anyone is in most cases no more about hurting them than it is simply a matter of self-respect. I'm as socially awkward as they come, but treating strangers with respect is pretty easy. There's nothing wrong with seeing a beautiful young woman and just appreciating that for what it is. To do anything beyond a quick glance is kind of weird for an old guy, IMO.

As far as those who posted about the cart girls playing it up, I've had servers go to ridiculous measures to try and get a good tip when all they had to do was their job. The few times that happened it was kind of pathetic to be honest. I try to be a good tipper and it doesn't matter what they look like, male or female, young or old. Playing golf, going out for food or drinks, getting my hair cut, or whatever have nothing to do with sex. And I'm pretty sure that applied when I was young enough to have a chance.