Worst thing to happen to you on the golf course

[Smiter]

I saw a guy take a crap on a tee box. That was disturbing, still can’t get that out of my head. He was escorted off the course a couple holes later. Looked like he had about 12 too many. Not a youngster either. Fortunately, I was playing different tees than that group ( they were just ahead of our group).


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Ewwwww. I have a long history of getting hammered on the course, lol. Mainly kidding but 20 years ago I was there a few times I don’t ever recall being hammered enough to crap on it, literally at least. Figuratively 80% of my rounds involve some form of it. Usually of the short game variety.

Quick (by my standards, quit judging the length!) story. I played in my first THP meet and greet this weekend. It wasn’t anything official, just fun. Sunday I came down with food poisoning. I won’t even speculate on where I got it from, I do NOT think it was from the golf courses though. I went from feeling fine to five minutes later being in hell on earth. It was horrible, I’ve never been that violently ill ever. I retched so bad that I had 911 dialed on my phone. I never sent it. I was retching so hard that I literally couldn’t breathe. When I tried to, I was breathing in my own vomit.

I know it sounds gross, sorry. It was 10x worse than it sounds. I have chronic kidney stones, they are worse. But when you can’t breathe because you can’t stop the vomit long enough to do so, it’s freaking scary. I don’t know what EMS would have done, and I’m glad I wasn’t quite to the “hit send” moment on the 911 call. I was damn close though and it was terrible and scary.

But I’ve never witnessed someone who literally crapped on a course. I’m pretty sure if I saw someone do that because they were drunk (and stupid) that I’d punch them just on general principles alone. That’s uncalled for. Ever.

Many years ago i owned a grocery store in Columbus Ohio. I had a drunk drop trow and crap in the aisle once. I let him, ahem, know that he wasn’t welcome in my store anymore. Some folks will surprise you with their ability to be awesome. Some folks will do the reverse. In general, I’ve been more amazed at humans at their finest than I have been at humans at their worst. I have far more good stories than I have bad. The bad ones seem to make more of an impression, they get more press. But after seeing enough of the bad stories, the good stories now weigh more heavily with me. People will be people. For good or bad. Hopefully we all see more good.

 

[Smiter]

Ok, the rest of the bad.....

I made a thread about it where I ratted myself out, but if you feel it necessary to beat me over the head about it, so be it. This was my personal low moment on a course. Took my oldest two out to play a “quick” nine last fall. We got to the course, and they told us The League had its last group tee off an hour or more before so we should have smooth sailing. We did until we hit the 6th holes tee and saw them on the green. Kids hit and had to wait for them to clear for their second. They waited 15 minutes a shot from then on out until their 2nd on the par 4 8th. By then I realized that they were the last group that would have enough light to finish the 9 in, and in frustration I yelled something like “hey, either hurry up or let us through, we want to be able to finish!” Some jackel in that group threw his putter and mock charged me. I’m too old and fat to have any flight so all I had was the fight instinct. I’m ashamed to admit that I lost my cool like that, particularly with my kids with me. When someone from his group did the “hold me back, bro” routine with him, I laughed at it. Probably more nervous laughing than anything else, but I do recall yelling out a Ric Flair type, WOOOOOO! It almost again (ashamedly) became a throw down in the parking lot later before I realized the guy that “held” him back was my next door neighbor. Again, this is one of my least proud moments ever on a course, but I put it out there at the time so I’ll bring it up again. I was so very wrong, even if playing 9 holes in over 4 hours is wrong, this wasn’t the way to handle it. I wouldn’t even stress it but since my kids were with me, it bothers the hell out of me to this day.

Paging @pkorf.... I don’t know if you noticed, but I drive when dad’s with me. He’s my elder and I respect the hell out of him and would let him drive anytime he ever wanted to. He doesn’t. He once broke the axle on a golf cart. To hear him tell it, a tree jumped out in front of him, he did his civic duty and smacked it for being so insolent. I tend to think he might have been a little inebriated. I am not to judge though, .... lol.

Last bad story of the night, I’m sure I have more, but they’ll have to wait... I’ve been hit by a golf ball exactly one time in my life. It hurt like hell. It hit me in the right front pocket and smashed my new iPhone into a million+2 pieces. Physical pain was negligible. Financial pain wasn’t. Ouch! My wallet still cries every time a ball comes within 20 yards of me.

 

[Smiter]

Well, this isn’t a bad thing, but it was unusual. The first time I played Pebble Beach, was in 2006. We teed off about 2PM and we were told by the golf shop attendant that we would likely not finish before dark. It started to get “dusky” right around the 14th tee box and we literally would hit our shot and run to the ball, because no way in hell were we going to just play 16 or 17 holes of Pebble Beach. We were waiting to hit our shots into the 16th green when my friend says.....”I think that’s George Archer putting out on the 16th green. “

We finish 16 and literally sprint to 17 because the sun is now below the horizon and you can’t see anything. We get to the tee box, and sure enough....IT IS GEORGE ARCHER!! He and his foursome are in carts...and there is another group in front of them on the tee, and a group putting out on the 17th green. So for the next 15 minutes, while waiting for those two groups to play out, we talk to George about his career and his Master’s victory. He was born and raised in the Northern California region and he lived somewhere near Pebble Beach. It’s finally George’s group’s turn, and he says “We all live here and play here all the time, you boys go ahead and play through”. Thanks! So we do.

We get to 18 and it is pitch black. But we don’t care, we are playing. I hit my drive directly at the tree in the middle of the fairway. As I walk up to my ball, a fox darts into the fairway, picks up my ball in his mouth, and begins to run around the fairway like a puppy with a frisbee trying to get me to chase him. Twice, he drops my ball, waits for me to approach, then picks it up and runs around some more. Finally after about sixty seconds, he drops it and runs off.

We finished our round with a couple of great memories.

Umm... ok.... that’s pretty much an f’in awesome story. Wasn’t enough with George Archer, you had to include a Fox? What about a Golden Bear? Lol.

Good on you man, you’ll have that the rest of your days, and beyond. That’s just awesome and stories like that are what draw a lot of us to this game. Nice! X10. Squared.

 

[Smiter]

I was playing in an exhibition practice dual meet in high school and in the same round the following three things happened:

1. I got attacked by a mother goose who thought my golf ball was one of her eggs on the sixth hole
2. In defending myself from said goose I snapped my 5-iron.
3. My allergies got so bad that I had to be carted to the clubhouse on the 16th hole. My dad came and got me and took me to urgent care and then home. I missed school for two days.

Bad things come in threes I guess.


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Geese are some bad mothers! I lost the second part of that word but when I was 4-5 I have a memory of getting flogged by one at Kingwood Center. I kill every one I see now (kidding, I just “try” to skull a shot at one when I see it). By try, I mean I hit one normal, which is a skull, then I claim I tried to do that and then tell that story.

Geese. Good excuses for me from circa 1982. I actually rather like seeing geese now. I can blame them for every thin shot anytime they’re within 300 yards.

 

[leftshot]

Got nailed by a ball off a 3-wood. Guy nailed a tree trunk about 30 feet from where he hit and it ricocheted on the fly right into my gut. I did make par on the hole though.

 

[oumagic]

I had a surreal round in the late 90's at the Raven Golf Club in Phoenix (very nice place, especially back then) that was the worst day on a course for me but funny to look back on now. A business associate brought his son that had only played a handful of times. He shows up wearing a tee shirt and jean shorts and they make him buy new clothes to play. There is some kind of pro-AM going on after we tee off, so we have to rush to the first tee. Kind of cool that we see Alice Cooper on our way to the tee box, but also got the nerves really going. With people watching and me being queasy, I top my tee shot. I take a mulligan and hook it into the range and then hit my 3rd tee shot about 150 yards. Tough start. On about the 5th hole, I am behind my friend's son trying to watch his ball clear the trees and he hits a pine tree with a trunk about the size of a broomstick and it bounces back and catches me in the stomach. Hurt like heck and the round gets worse.

I hit a drive a few holes later and I am walking toward what I believe is my ball and some big dude is addressing it. I yell at him to hold up from about 30 yards away, and he yells something back and hits "my" ball. Of course I am fuming and holler at him that he hit my ball and he says it was his and he was playing a "Titleist 2" to which I responded, "So am I, but mine has a red and blue dot." By now, we are both pretty hot and now within 10-15 yards of each other but he turns and gets in his cart and drives off. I never got a real good look at him, and just continued looking for my ball. I found a Titleist "2" without my red and blue dots about 10 yards away. So I am thinking about running this guy down and getting my ball, but we are way behind so I hit that one up to the green. When I get up there, I tell my business associate what happened and that I am going to go get my ball and give the guy a piece of my mind. He tells me that I am crazy and asked if I saw who it was. I said "No, but you can't scare stupid!" and he tells me it is *Louis Gosset Junior from "Officer and a Gentleman." Lou was probably in his 60's at that time, but it was enough to prove that you can actually scare stupid because I left it alone

*I never got a good look at him and cannot 100% guarantee that it was him, but my playing partner swears to this day that it was.

 

[CobraX51]

Having a case of the shanks was the worst thing that has happened.

Talk about Zero Fun.

 

[jfaas33]

3rd hole tee box at Howell Park a little over 3 years ago received the phone call that my mother passed. She was in poor health but it was non the less shocking. Cried like a baby. It was always a special course to me, but now when I walk up to the 3rd tee I feel like she is with me :angel:

 

[McRock]

I saw a guy take a crap on a tee box. That was disturbing, still can’t get that out of my head. He was escorted off the course a couple holes later. Looked like he had about 12 too many. Not a youngster either. Fortunately, I was playing different tees than that group ( they were just ahead of our group).


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Lol. Wut??

Anyways, worst thing I can think of is there was a THP event in Branson several years ago. I don't remember if it was just a gathering or an invitational or what it was. But anyways, I think we had over 10 groups of THPers teeing off, and I was in the last group with a nice guy by the name of Bulldog (he doesn't come here anymore). Anyways, its slow going. A single shows up behind us. Next thing you know, a ball lands nearby us. It's the single. I don't think much of it. I seem to recall giving him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't see us or something. In another fun instance, we are walking off a par 3 green, and the dude hits......while we are still on the green. Bulldog proceeds to go get his ball and toss it in the creek, and we all move on. This continues for several holes. And the worst part is, the single can see that we are having to wait on every single tee box. At some point, we learn that there is some group in front of the THPers that's holding everything up. Not that it matters. I'm not sure where the single thought he was going to go. I think we even told him there was something like 20 groups in front of us.

Anyways, throwing the golf ball in the creek apparently wasn't enough of a message, the dude continues to hit into us. He never approaches us, or comes up to ask to play through, or anything. He just keeps hitting into us. On a par 5, he actually laid up, over our heads, by about 40 yards. Well that was the end of it for Bulldog. On the next tee box, as we once again watch some other group tee off, and then sit and wait, Bulldog goes over to express his displeasure with this guy. It got loud. I decided to call up to the clubhouse and suggest that they get a marshall out there. A marshall (that poor, poor kid) comes out, and tells the dude to go somewhere else, which he did. Generally speaking, I was a bit shaky for awhile. It's generally not pleasant to be 'targeted' that many times by a golfer and his ball.

The drink cart lady did give us a free drink for the whole ordeal though. She didn't have to, but she did, and it was a solid drink.

~Rock

 

[BlueHen2006]

Put 3 or 4 balls OB on the 2nd hole of my first high school golf match ever. Talk about embarrassing for a 16 yr old!

 

[Buster1]

The worst thing for me was a near miss.

I was playing with my son and an elderly duo. The last old man tees off and me and my son zoom off ahead in our cart, presuming he’s done hitting. The old man decides to hit a Provisional, but doesn’t announce anything. Just tees it up and lets it rip. I recall looking back, seeing him finishing his swing, and hearing the air melting above our cart as his ball does the Mach right over us. I was pretty shaken by that. Moreso that my kid was on the side closest to the old man. It really rattled me for a few holes.

 

[Kay-Dee]

3rd hole tee box at Howell Park a little over 3 years ago received the phone call that my mother passed. She was in poor health but it was non the less shocking. Cried like a baby. It was always a special course to me, but now when I walk up to the 3rd tee I feel like she is with me :angel:

I feel you. I found out my Dad died from a phone call while I was walking from the 13th tee to my ball.