I can't speak for someone, but I would assume it would be implied that he was buddy buddy with the parents in the community. Not saying it couldn't be the kids as well, as some teachers / coaches form a good bond with certain students.
High School golf tryouts - is this expected?
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That has more to do with life than just golf (the bolded part), how people respond to adversity is a whole lot more and a lot deeper than I'm willing to get into. If the nephew responds and turns that negative experience into a positive action, practice harder / differently, learning different communication skills etc, to me that speaks to a lot more about a person than whether someone made or didn't make their high school golf team.
Be sad, be down but when that emotion passes have him find some goals regarding either golf or another activity to keep his focus. Hopefully it'll be for the best in the long run.
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That’s reading into things a lot, and in 15 years of coaching I’ve never seen “family friends” impact wanting to win.
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Good bond sure, but a coaches job is to win, not to play friends kids.
Here is my take... I coached high school football and wrestling for almost 10 years. I see it both ways, because I have been in the same position. If a sport is having tryouts where a score or an ultimate outcome can be used to separate who makes the team and who doesn't, then "usually" it should be best score wins. Provided any caveats.... grade level (seniors, jrs,etc.), previous team experience, etc. Now, is it possible the athletes that were chosen over your nephew were older or had played on last years team...yes! Does that coach have a certain amount of time, money, and resources already invested into those athletes...yes. Believe me, there is no high school coach that doesn't want to win. They will 99% of the time put the best athletes they have into competition and under the coaches opinion...he chose the best athletes to compete.
My example of this is in wrestling, we would have weekly "wrestle offs". Any weight not occupied by a senior or regional/state qualifier was open to be challenged every week. And, whomever won the weight, wrestled in the matches and tournaments that week. Now, have I had an occurrence where a better wrestler lost to a less talented wrestler....yeah. Maybe the better wrestler tripped or just got caught! Dumb things happen. Now, as a coach, this puts me in a bad spot because what if we have a conference match that week and that determines what team goes to the playoffs? Or, maybe we have a tournament that we can possibly win or place in and we need all the points possible? Starting a less talented athlete might hurt those chances. So, have I started the less talented wrestler...yep! Did we lose that weight....more than likely! Have I made the decision to start the better wrestler anyways...yep! Did we lose...probably not!
So, anytime a parent, relative, community member would challenge what judgement on anything, I would explain my position, then tell them that if they did not like my explanation and believe they could do better....please, go to the school board and submit to a background, criminal, financial check and drug test. Then, attend a school bus driving course and get your Class B CDLs with the proper endorsements, and lastly, attend the state coaching conference and register and pay for the coaching license and complete the concussion and title 9/fair play training. And, lastly go to the school principal and AD and tell them you would like to coach "x" sport!
My example of this is in wrestling, we would have weekly "wrestle offs". Any weight not occupied by a senior or regional/state qualifier was open to be challenged every week. And, whomever won the weight, wrestled in the matches and tournaments that week. Now, have I had an occurrence where a better wrestler lost to a less talented wrestler....yeah. Maybe the better wrestler tripped or just got caught! Dumb things happen. Now, as a coach, this puts me in a bad spot because what if we have a conference match that week and that determines what team goes to the playoffs? Or, maybe we have a tournament that we can possibly win or place in and we need all the points possible? Starting a less talented athlete might hurt those chances. So, have I started the less talented wrestler...yep! Did we lose that weight....more than likely! Have I made the decision to start the better wrestler anyways...yep! Did we lose...probably not!
So, anytime a parent, relative, community member would challenge what judgement on anything, I would explain my position, then tell them that if they did not like my explanation and believe they could do better....please, go to the school board and submit to a background, criminal, financial check and drug test. Then, attend a school bus driving course and get your Class B CDLs with the proper endorsements, and lastly, attend the state coaching conference and register and pay for the coaching license and complete the concussion and title 9/fair play training. And, lastly go to the school principal and AD and tell them you would like to coach "x" sport!
You're a good coach then, which I respect. I had a box of trophies that say otherwise though - not all coaches play to win sadly, should they yes - but they don't in my experience. I used to play in an gitch (all-star) league in soccer growing up, I'm from a small town so we had the whole area be eligible for the teams (6? schools), every year we ended up with two teams and every year and I mean EVERY YEAR I played the teams were always so incredibly stacked, one with the best players and here's where the bad coach comes in - the second team had all of the other coaches kids friends on it and no one to ever be a back up goalie so his son could play all of the minutes in a game instead of rotating. We would win all sorts of stuff and they would enter the same tournaments and would be out in the first or second round every time. Never changed year after year, I once asked my best friend who was always stuck on the bad team why he continued to go out and play just to lose and he said that he didn't care about winning on the travel team because it helped him train for varsity during the school year and that was more important.
I come from the world where if you want to be competitive then you should be doing the best you can do every time because score matters. It doesn't matter how you win as long as you win (I'm not talking about cheating), focus on your strengths.
This is how it worked at my son's HS that he just graduated from. They took all kids who wanted to play, and then there was a 9 hole round every Wednesday or whatever. The top 6 scores played in the match that Friday.
Never mattered on the coaching decisions he made but 3-6 guys on our team would regularly hang out with coach outside of golf. Pool, poker, etc. Still get together whenever we can. I am sure that's pretty rare though.
golfboyblues
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I would add that being a coach at any level is a very difficult job. Most coaches are underpaid and under-appreciated and dealing with administration and parents is a thankless job. Most public schools do not have unlimited budgets so keeping all the kids who tried out is probably out of the question. It is expensive to transport the kids to the golf course and pay for their playing & practice time.
Something to make your nephew feel better.
Coaches picking teams don’t always get it right. Michael Jordan didn’t make his HS varsity team as a sophomore. The rest is history.
Coaches picking teams don’t always get it right. Michael Jordan didn’t make his HS varsity team as a sophomore. The rest is history.
About 22 years ago I tried out for my high school team. Had the 3rd lowest score overall as a freshman and didn’t make it. Reason my Dad was told was I was the only kid not part of the country club we played at. I was crushed and didn’t try out for the team anymore years after that. Scores don’t matter in a lot of situations in high school unfortunately. At least around here.
Tom Brady was a 6th round pick, #199 overall. Think of all the other QBs that were taken before him. It happens.
Michael Jordan was cut from the varsity in his sophomore year in high school.
My two cents as being a former coach as well as a parent of kids who played high school sports-both stars and bench warmers. I don't have an issue with what the coach did, it is his prerogative to form his team and he is more informed about the players and program than any of us. The problem I have is: 1. Does the school not have a JV team where the kid can get some tournament experience in and 2. If no JV team then have the kid on the varsity, practice with the other kids and then perhaps he can get a shot if one of the starters can't make a match or his play falls off.
My two cents as being a former coach as well as a parent of kids who played high school sports-both stars and bench warmers. I don't have an issue with what the coach did, it is his prerogative to form his team and he is more informed about the players and program than any of us. The problem I have is: 1. Does the school not have a JV team where the kid can get some tournament experience in and 2. If no JV team then have the kid on the varsity, practice with the other kids and then perhaps he can get a shot if one of the starters can't make a match or his play falls off.
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Tell your nephew not to be discouraged
Play and practice hard. Try out again next season and kick butt. get an event or two under his belt if at all possible. Any competition is a good experience.
Life isn’t fair. This is a prime example.
Play and practice hard. Try out again next season and kick butt. get an event or two under his belt if at all possible. Any competition is a good experience.
Life isn’t fair. This is a prime example.
I think learning to handle adversity is a valuable life skill. We're not always going to get what we want in life, it's not always going to be fair, and it's good to learn that early and learn how to cope with it.
Supersport
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Sorry but it sounds like you wanted an explanation why your nephew wasn’t picked, you got one, and you didn’t like it, and want everyone to validate that the coach, who is responsible for the team and tryouts, is wrong and you are right. apparently the tryouts weren’t a format of “shoot the lowest score and you make the team”, who says it has to be
All kids sports are competitive, it’s a fact. There was something that the coach saw in the other boys that he liked better, and he made his bets. He is going to be second guessed by everyone else who thinks their kid should have made the team, as well as judged on what he does with every kid that is on the team.
Have him go join a golf club or local course team, or start playing local junior tournaments. Complaining on his behalf because the coach does not agree with your unbiased perception is not going to do you or your nephew any good.
All kids sports are competitive, it’s a fact. There was something that the coach saw in the other boys that he liked better, and he made his bets. He is going to be second guessed by everyone else who thinks their kid should have made the team, as well as judged on what he does with every kid that is on the team.
Have him go join a golf club or local course team, or start playing local junior tournaments. Complaining on his behalf because the coach does not agree with your unbiased perception is not going to do you or your nephew any good.
This sucks for your Nephew, but life is hard. He can choose his path from here.
It's an interesting conversation with regards to golf tryouts. What is the value of score? What is the value of the "eye test"? If a coach were to visually evaluate my swing and my golf buddies' swing, nobody in their right mind would choose me over him - yet I've been dusting him in almost every match we've ever played.
It's an interesting conversation with regards to golf tryouts. What is the value of score? What is the value of the "eye test"? If a coach were to visually evaluate my swing and my golf buddies' swing, nobody in their right mind would choose me over him - yet I've been dusting him in almost every match we've ever played.
My take is that adversity pushes you one of two ways. If your nephew is a freshman or sophomore (even a junior I suppose). Prepare for next year through practice and lessons. Especially if he just took up golf less than a year ago. Any discussion with the coach should be focused on preparation for the next year’s tryouts. This is from a father whose daughter played college soccer, was on higher level travel teams from a young age and made JV not Varsity as a freshman.
I made my high school JV golf team as a senior because I asked to be part of the team. I was fortunate to live in farm county so they never had enough players to fill a full team.
the other sports in my school absolutely suffered from the same ills that have been mentioned here. Unfortunately that stuff happens.
the other sports in my school absolutely suffered from the same ills that have been mentioned here. Unfortunately that stuff happens.
No! Example 1: player 1 scores 46 but has a 9 on a hole vs player 2 who shoots 45 and bogies every hole! Example 2: Player 1 shoots 40 with 3 birdies vs player 2 who shoots 39 with no birdies.
Plus there are plenty of other factors to consider (not saying these happened btw) - did a player have a bad attitude, did a player slam clubs, did a player have a bad hole but then bounce back, did the player support other players, did the player listen to instructions, and yes, historical precedence does matter.
BTW - going off and complaining only makes things worse! Don't do it! Your nephew should go speak with the coach and ask what he needs to work on to make the team next time and/or how he can keep working in case a spot reopens due to injury or other (BE Ready).
You do not know this and to say this of the coach is absolutely wrong!! You have ZERO idea of the coaches humanity and you are now publicly cursing at a coach!
Maybe coach does not want that toxicity around the program! In the span of 72 replies, I wouldn't want you around the program!
Buckeyegolfnut
Well-known member
Let's face facts here. Most "high school golf coaches" are not coaches at all, they are "van drivers"! They work out a schedule and get the team to the venue on time. Very little coaching or instruction goes on. Why your guy made the selections he did, who knows? Maybe he has a previous relationship with those kid and/or their parents, and knows they just had an off day.
Our #1 player in HS was pretty doggone good. I don't care if he came in 15th in the tryouts, there was no way he wasn't making the team, because the coach knew him and knew how good a golfer he was!
Our #1 player in HS was pretty doggone good. I don't care if he came in 15th in the tryouts, there was no way he wasn't making the team, because the coach knew him and knew how good a golfer he was!
I guess I’ll go against the grain to say that I don’t think score should be the be all and end all of a tryout. The coach needs to assess experience and ability as to apparent skill level relative to others. There’s hitting balls at the range, chipping and putting drills to evaluate, etc. Case in point during the play portion, if a player blows a few drives one way or the other but gets lucky breaks where they kick back into the fairway and beats a player by a stroke or two who is presumed to be better skilled, should that player be awarded a spot strictly based off of his score? Of course not, IMO, the collective needs to be considered as many factors can come into play.
I didn’t play golf in HS, football was my game. But I did try out for basketball in 9th grade. During the practice game where coaches were keeping score and individual player stats (weird, but they did) I happened to outscore all but one player, the stud center. That includes the other four slam dunk (pardon the pun) starters, certain backups and fringe players such as myself.
I didn’t make the team, was instead offered "first alternate" (roster spot granted in the event of player injury), which I declined. I played well and even dominated at times but during the practice game, the other players didn’t expose the glaring weakness to my game that the drills prior so very clearly exposed. I had no "left." Now, I could crossover, between the legs, do the around the back and dribble right to left hand effortlessly. You know, the showoff stuff. But I couldn’t drive while dribbling to my left with my left hand solely and I couldn’t shoot with my left hand, not even serviceably during just a layup.
So yeah, I beat most of the better players during the tryout as I continually bluffed left and then drove hard right. And I took some satisfaction later in a few of those players saying so later, that I outplayed them. But I didn’t disagree with the coaches’ decision, not even a little bit. Was disappointed, but not in disagreement. The drills prior proved to me, and obviously the coaches too, that the other kids were more skilled than I was. It sucked to face that realization but I knew it to be true.
I’m not assuming the same for your nephew. I’m just offering the perspective of a similarly disappointed kid, once upon a time.
I didn’t play golf in HS, football was my game. But I did try out for basketball in 9th grade. During the practice game where coaches were keeping score and individual player stats (weird, but they did) I happened to outscore all but one player, the stud center. That includes the other four slam dunk (pardon the pun) starters, certain backups and fringe players such as myself.
I didn’t make the team, was instead offered "first alternate" (roster spot granted in the event of player injury), which I declined. I played well and even dominated at times but during the practice game, the other players didn’t expose the glaring weakness to my game that the drills prior so very clearly exposed. I had no "left." Now, I could crossover, between the legs, do the around the back and dribble right to left hand effortlessly. You know, the showoff stuff. But I couldn’t drive while dribbling to my left with my left hand solely and I couldn’t shoot with my left hand, not even serviceably during just a layup.
So yeah, I beat most of the better players during the tryout as I continually bluffed left and then drove hard right. And I took some satisfaction later in a few of those players saying so later, that I outplayed them. But I didn’t disagree with the coaches’ decision, not even a little bit. Was disappointed, but not in disagreement. The drills prior proved to me, and obviously the coaches too, that the other kids were more skilled than I was. It sucked to face that realization but I knew it to be true.
I’m not assuming the same for your nephew. I’m just offering the perspective of a similarly disappointed kid, once upon a time.
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I don’t think the coach was unreasonable. It stinks that they cut and don’t keep a freshman squad to try and develop for the rest of the HS years.
My son is going into high school this year and didn’t have to attend the golf team try outs because the coach has already been to tournaments to watch him play. I’m sure some parents would think that’s unfair, but why waste time when he knows how my son plays?
I didn’t know the coach before he reached out to all parents to ask about their kids, if they play tournaments, etc. I sent him my kids profile link for the tournament league he plays in and that prompted him to come watch several tournaments. It’s possible something like that occurred in the case of the kids selected over your nephew.
I like the idea of asking the coach what to do in order to start preparing now for next years try-outs. Then help your nephew grind over the next year.
My son is going into high school this year and didn’t have to attend the golf team try outs because the coach has already been to tournaments to watch him play. I’m sure some parents would think that’s unfair, but why waste time when he knows how my son plays?
I didn’t know the coach before he reached out to all parents to ask about their kids, if they play tournaments, etc. I sent him my kids profile link for the tournament league he plays in and that prompted him to come watch several tournaments. It’s possible something like that occurred in the case of the kids selected over your nephew.
I like the idea of asking the coach what to do in order to start preparing now for next years try-outs. Then help your nephew grind over the next year.
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