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Telling the wife later

The first year I was married, I made the mistake of playing a round of golf and hiding it from my wife. She found out and I felt so bad I haven't hidden anything since that day 20 years ago. Life and marriage is a lot easier when you tell the truth.
 
I couldn't hide anything I buy as my wife is my regular playing partner at home. The only thing stopping me buying things is if she likes it as well she'll then want her own. She's already eyeing the M1 drivers in the store with questions such as what lady flex shafts do they supply. There is a TM fitting / demo day next week that I suspect we'll be going to.
 
Tadashi70 said:
If I ever get to the point that I am lying or hiding stuff from the wife, ill be moving down the road.the fact that you think she nags you for buying too much stuff is an issue but I don't live under your roof. It's just not a solid practice to get into. I know this won't be a popular opinion but that is how I he down. Maybe she has a point, just saying.
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I have to agree with Panda on this one, it is a dangerous slope in my eyes. If you can hide buying clubs, then there is the temptation to hide other things and that could get you into more trouble than it is worth, and brings elements of mistrust into a relationship

Myself and Jen both have our own accounts so are free to spend the money on what we want, but the only time I won't tell Jen if I have bought something is if it is a surprise for her
 
For the most part she's doesn't notice or doesn't care what I buy. i don't hide things from her anymore, maybe at one time I felt the need to, but then realized it didn't matter. I don't necesairly come running in the door waving a $400 driver in front of her, but if it's obe I'm particularly excited about I'll show her.

Usually her only response is...okay one new one comes in, one old one goes out (she thinks we're limited on space..ha) but often that is the case with a trade or giving or selling one to a THP'er anyway
 
My wife and I each have our own "budgets" to do what we want. As long as I don't blow the budget she doesn't care what I buy. I wouldn't hide it from here though, I would feel bad and she would find out anyways.


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We have a house rule basically anything under $300 or so is no issue. Over that is a notification (not really a discussion). Generally I self fund my golf purchases by selling stuff so I've already got funds set aside for next years equipment. No need to tell her on that!


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When I buy something it's usually after selling something else to offset the cost. I don't tell her about the new purchase because we have our budget and shared accounts so she can see what is going on. I use paypal as my fund for golf purchases.
 
I used to have 500 pound machines being dropped off by lift gate truck. Compared to that a 5"x5"x48" box isn't really a big deal.
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I don't hide stuff.
 
I'm in the same boat as the OP.
The funny part is she's a stay at home mom, and I'm the one that brings home the bacon.

I probably agree with her that I do buy too much stuff though.

But golf aside, I probably don't spend any money on myself.

This is, in my eyes, the 'battle' vs the 'war' analogy.

Also, to the OP, always make sure you are extremely careful who you take marital advice from.

I have a (sometimes) golf partner who likes to tell me 'you need to put her in her place'...

Meanwhile, in the next sentence he will tell me him and his wife are 'more or less living together, and sharing a child, but living separate lives.'
 
tahoebum said:
The first year I was married, I made the mistake of playing a round of golf and hiding it from my wife. She found out and I felt so bad I haven't hidden anything since that day 20 years ago. Life and marriage is a lot easier when you tell the truth.
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I am fully on board with this. Life is great when everything is out in the open.

My wife strongly supports my passion for golf and it's a bit part of why I love her so much.
 
I don't ship things to other locations to avoid alerting the lady haha. We both have our own hobbies wherein we sometimes buy stuff we don't really need - I have golf and skiing, she has cute clothes and photography. However, I do make sure to have my defense well prepared when the box shows up! ("I sold something else to buy this", "I got a bonus this month", etc. hahaha)
 
Honesty is the best policy, for sure. Gotta stay open. If you have to hide it from your wife, you probably shouldn't be doing it - golf or otherwise.
 
UglySwing said:
I'm in the same boat as the OP.
The funny part is she's a stay at home mom, and I'm the one that brings home the bacon.

I probably agree with her that I do buy too much stuff though.

But golf aside, I probably don't spend any money on myself.

This is, in my eyes, the 'battle' vs the 'war' analogy.

Also, to the OP, always make sure you are extremely careful who you take marital advice from.

I have a (sometimes) golf partner who likes to tell me 'you need to put her in her place'...

Meanwhile, in the next sentence he will tell me him and his wife are 'more or less living together, and sharing a child, but living separate lives.'
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You know it.
Didn't realize this was such a touchy subject here
 
I get where the OP is coming from ... while I do not have to explain my purchases, I do buy golf equipment with my "lunch money" that I simple buy at the store and then put them in my golf bag ...
 
Canadan said:
I am fully on board with this. Life is great when everything is out in the open.

My wife strongly supports my passion for golf and it's a bit part of why I love her so much.
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I definitely agree! Better to not hide it. Not sure that I announce what/when I am buying golf stuff but what I don't pick up at the store, all gets shipped to our home.

She has been looking at me strangely recently as I have been buying a lot of putters because I am looking to find a new one and want to experiment - after the sixth new putter showed up last week she made a comment - more about what the hell I was doing with all of these putters rather than the cost....
 
Wow...trust issues kill marriages.
 
My wife never gives me any grief about it. There have been very few long, skinny boxes delivered to the house this year. When they do come, the stuff I sell is ALWAYS enough to fund the purchase...haha.
 
Canadan said:
I am fully on board with this. Life is great when everything is out in the open.

My wife strongly supports my passion for golf and it's a bit part of why I love her so much.
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Like you, my wife is supportive of my golf. I have an opposite problem regarding equipment. She bought me a new driver and a couple of hybrids. Unfortunately, I can not even hit the broad side of a barn with them, so I'm still using my old driver and hybrid. She keeps asking how am I doing with the new clubs. My response, I'm still learning to use them, it will take time, fortunately by now she can't tell the difference between the old and new clubs.
 
UVaWahoo said:
Like you, my wife is supportive of my golf. I have an opposite problem regarding equipment. She bought me a new driver and a couple of hybrids. Unfortunately, I can not even hit the broad side of a barn with them, so I'm still using my old driver and hybrid. She keeps asking how am I doing with the new clubs. My response, I'm still learning to use them, it will take time, fortunately by now she can't tell the difference between the old and new clubs.
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She must not have asked the right Pro at Dicks on which driver to buy as a gift :D
 
Got to admit....I thought the subject matter was going to be about something else when I first clicked on it.
 
I have things shipped to my office but only because boxes disappear from my neighborhood. My wife knows when I buy something new - I never really discuss it with her beforehand as long as it isn't a huge purchase but I have all my clubs and the like out in the open.

She buys new shoes and I buy new clubs. Typically I spend less ha


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I have stuff shipped to my office but only because I like the fact that someone has to sign when delivered to a business. We share an account. Bills are paid money goes in weekly to savings and retirement so she doesnt mind me buying golf stuff
 
Money was tighter earlier in my career. She does all of our finances so there was never any hiding. She would usually make adjustments to our accounts if I wanted a new driver or something. I've been lucky enough over the years to have a little extra spending money but I don't spend much on clubs. Guns on the other hand, different story. The phrase "when I die please tell my wife what my guns are worth and not what I told her I spent" very much applies.
 
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