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One-liners

From my .mil days

"You're tracking like a broken VCR"
"Pain is fear leaving your body"
"The Hawk is really flying today" (very cold North wind)
"Cold is mind over matter, you don't mind it don't matter"
 
Tell me who you follow, I will tell you what you are.
 
That guy (or gal) is a few french fries short of a happy meal.
 
I wouldn't call these one liners but back in high school me and my buddies were pretty goofy on the golf course. I remember specifically whenever someone would hit a shot too far or way off line they would yell "Down chico!", or a combination of "Settle!... Down chica! SPIN!". The most comical ones were lag putts that were racing past the hole and off the green. Good times!
 
"I'll introduce your nose to your left ear" My dad told me that when I was 15 and I thought I was more man than I really was. Needles to say I shut up.
 
My dad always used to respond to my wishes with...


"You can **** in one hand and wish in the other, see which one fills up faster "

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk
 
They say nothing is impossible but I do nothing everyday
 
When someone is stumbling over their words, "you sound like a sh!t salesman with a mouthful of sandwich"
 
I see your elevator doesn't go all the way to the top
 
in honor of cam newton

" show me a good loser ......and ill show you a loser"
 
"They should've put the diaper on his mouth, cuz that's where the sh!t is coming from" Stewie

"We could'n't catch STD in a wh0rehouse with a fistful of fifties." Dave Marciano on Wicked Tuna. Now that's a fisherman I said.
 
here's a funny pick up line.
My magic watch says you aren't wearing any underwear. Oops its an hour too fast.

lol
 
Good stuff --- I like when our group is on the green 3 guys have 2-3 footers 1 guy is putting from 10 feet has a hard lip out or whatever and ends up 4 feet from the the hole and we say -- FISO -- f--k I'm still out.
 
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