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Golfing with good friends who are struggling.

Hamfist

Hamfist

I promise not to murder Canadan.
Joined
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Location
Cleveland, Ohio
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Do you try to give them help? For instance, I was playing with a buddy who is having a great deal of issues. We'll discuss his iron play, formerly one of his strengths.

Watching him, he's playing his irons fairly forward toward his left foot. And topping all of them. I suggest he move it back toward his right, and he starts to make better contact. However, the ball flight, while much better (i.e. not rolling on the ground) is shorter than he is used to. But, he then reverts to the forward ball position, and starts topping/rolling. And then is disgusted with his play, and getting bummed out (pretty hard.)

Do I keep suggesting the better ball position and "talk him off the ledge" about the distance? Or do I shut my pie hole and let him struggle?

He, like most of my friends, is a better golfer historically than I, so I think he may be disregarding my suggestions, based on my mediocrity.

Of all my group of friends, I'm definitely the most interested in the game, and swing mechanics, and other types of minutiae.

And I see his struggle as so simple to correct, at least with the irons.

As an aside, I am always saying to people who aren't playing well that day to use the round as a practice session, to try different thing, etc. (With not slowing down the groups behind us.)

What say ye, forum?
 
I've got a few friends who ask for help, and a few friends who only have their own solutions for their problems.

This guy sounds like the latter, so my recommendation would be to record him swinging and let him see it - let his own brain do the math and maybe he'll modify accordingly, as seeing is believing?
 
I am on the better end of the spectrum (13 index and rising) with the guys I play with, so I’m not likely to give out advice unless asked.
 
After being helpful early in my golf career when I did not know anything (based on what I now know), I don't assist unless asked.

If they are wondering why the ball is going low and left, I ask if they want me to vid them with the phone (which Dan suggested above). Pictures say everything and they don't have to trust you - they can trust the vid.

I just hand them the phone, saying nothing. They can make up their mind or ask at that time.
 
I normally only give advice/tips when I am asked. If they are a good friend and really struggling, I might ask if they would like an opinion.
 
I wouldn't say anything unless he asked.

One of the guys I play with has been a huge help to my game in the past - I always say his eyes are like a slow motion camera, he can spot things in a swing that I would never see. He's helped a lot of guys, and is always the first one to volunteer to work with new golfers. But when we're out on the course, he never offers advice to anybody unless they ask him for it. A few years ago when I was struggling with my swing, he'd ask me before a round "Do you want me to pick on you today, or do you want me to leave you alone?". If I said I'd prefer to work it out on my own that day, he'd always honor that and never say a word - if I said go ahead and pick on me, he'd work with me all day (keeping the pace of play up first and foremost, of course).
 
I’ll make some comments on the range to friends but never on the course. I find most people (myself included) appreciate some insight during practice/warm up but usually don’t want the advice while on the course.
 
I don't offer unless asked, and people who play with me seldom ask, because they have seen my swing. If they turn into Mr. Crankypants, I will say something witty, like, "Well, at some point, you've got to have your worst round of the year," or "Just think, you could be in the office/at the dentist's/paint the spare bedroom."
 
I helped a relative a few days ago at his request. He was having problems with his short pitches, and chips. Had him fixed up in 3 holes.

I will help anyone if they ask for my help. Normally I will mind my own business.
 
I’m terrible and have no place giving anybody advice. The only exception is my brother in law. We’re fairly close on skill level and he will occasionally ask if I know what’s going on when he consistently struggles with one part of his game. Usually it’s when he’s topping balls with his driver, and my assessment is almost always the same...he’s trying to kill it.
 
I don't offer unless asked. However, I've been on the receiving end of some of my buddies' comments, e.g., "could you swing any faster?" and appreciated it.
 
I have a friend who developed the sh***s out of absolutely nowhere. He was a pure ball striker last year and this year when we were doing simulator, he couldn't hit the ball if his life depended on it. It's followed him outside as well. I see what he's doing wrong for the most part but he's the kind of guy who doesn't want advice, especially unsolicited so I just keep my mouth closed. Maybe the video idea is a good way to go about it though. Because he is miserable out there and golf is one of his favorite things so it's hard to see him struggle like he is
 
Thanks, folks. I'll try to keep my yap shut. I don't think the video will do a lot, he's got a pretty unconventional swing. I just hate seeing people struggle. another of my friends is going through this as well, and has flatly refused help, or to go see an instructor. I see him as a lost cause, lol.
 
Im fortunate to have a core group of friends who all like talking golf and minutia. So we routinely give advice to others. however we know it's all welcomed. Typically the primary advice is "get a professional lesson". I have some other golf friends that like to play once a month or so. but we do talk golf a lot. none of them have taken a lesson. I watch the more novice of them really struggle. Every so often he'll ask about something. i'll offer an explanation. But that's rare.

Last week we we're out just grabbing a beer. Our golf games came up, so I offered some unsolicited advice. In that setting I think it was really well received. because my advice was on the mental side of things. He's a 10 thousand practice swing over the ball guy. I encouraged him to instead take the practice swings while waiting on your turn, then when you step to the ball....hit the ball. I see him take great practice swings...then 5 swings later, hit a really poor actual swing.
 
The only advice I give on the course is take a deep breath and relax.
 
mtbloco said:
Im fortunate to have a core group of friends who all like talking golf and minutia. So we routinely give advice to others. however we know it's all welcomed. Typically the primary advice is "get a professional lesson". I have some other golf friends that like to play once a month or so. but we do talk golf a lot. none of them have taken a lesson. I watch the more novice of them really struggle. Every so often he'll ask about something. i'll offer an explanation. But that's rare.

Last week we we're out just grabbing a beer. Our golf games came up, so I offered some unsolicited advice. In that setting I think it was really well received. because my advice was on the mental side of things. He's a 10 thousand practice swing over the ball guy. I encouraged him to instead take the practice swings while waiting on your turn, then when you step to the ball....hit the ball. I see him take great practice swings...then 5 swings later, hit a really poor actual swing.
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I'm a lone wolf when it comes down to that. I like to dive deep into the nuances of stuff like shaft kick points, and swing weights, etc. And my friends are "Shaft? It's black."
 
Maric said:
The only advice I give on the course is take a deep breath and relax.
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Used that one a lot yesterday with a buddy.

As the wheels came off worse and worse, he said his head was spinning with swing thoughts. I told him to think about b**bs. Always helps me.
 
My main golf buddy has a way better swing than I, so the only thing I say when he's struggling is that his tempo is quicker than normal (always the case when he's struggling). It pretty much helps him right away.
My other golf buddy is always asking for advise but I just don't have the answers so I don't say anything other than "quit hitting it like sh!t dude". He's the sort of guy who asks if a putt is downhill, and after you confirm he leaves it 10 ft short and blames you lol.
 
Hamfist said:
I'm a lone wolf when it comes down to that. I like to dive deep into the nuances of stuff like shaft kick points, and swing weights, etc. And my friends are "Shaft? It's black."
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You do live in Ohio. ;)
 
I'd try to keep my mouth shut. I don't even listen to myself with my golf game. I sure don't think anyone else would either.:ROFLMAO:
 
Struggling and being upset is part of the journey we all have to deal with on our own, don't offer any swing advice, it just makes most people more stressed to hear it while they're playing.

Also it's really hard on others when a player is all over the place and not enjoying the game, so hopefully he realizes that his attitude is kinda selfish and changes his ways, it's just better for everyone to stay positive and find some levity, give him that advice rather than swing thoughts.
 
I can't imagine why someone would not take Hammy's advice? :unsure:
Bout all you can do is suggest if asked and move on from there. When you beat him regular he will start paying attention and consider some help from an instructor maybe.
 
They're ALWAYS struggling. We have known each other for 40 years, playing on and off together for 25+. I have been playing for 45+. But I took it much more seriously than they ever did. They just like to go out and have some fun. They "might" go to the range once or twice before the season starts just to have an excuse to clean the clubs. Usually a couple of 7 irons, then wail away at driver for the next 80 balls. When we get out to play, then it's the usual slap slices, chunky irons, fatted chips and 3 or 4 putts. I know their swings probably better than they do. I say nothing unless they ask. It might help for a hole or two. For example- One of them had a notorious problem. if he was 5 yards off the green in a perfect lie, he grabbed his wedge- not a problem for many... Except it was ALWAYS nearly a full backswing then throw out the emergency brake and try and get it on the green. Usually resulted in a big chunk and now was 4 yards from the green. And would do it again. I finally told him- just leave the F*cking thing in the bag and putt it. So- next hole that round, he would take out the putter and get it on the surface someplace. Great, he learned his lesson for the day.... NOT. Next time, the wedge came out and he did the same thing. "what the hell are you doing?" "Oh- I didn't like it" :rolleyes:

And this gets repeated with anything I help them with when they ask. One, maybe two holes and it's back to lining up 45* to the left and face lined up to target and swinging for the fences resulting in a 75 yard slice that goes about 100 yards. And when I had him line up square and face to target without the right hand under the club like he's using a Katana to slice a bamboo mat, he hits it 180/200 with a little fade right to the middle. And by three holes later he's trying to correct that butter fade by aiming 45* left and swinging for the fences.
These days, I just don't watch and if they don't care, why should I?
 
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