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I'm the worst golfer I know. I don't say anything anymore. Figure it out yourself. I'm dealing with my own sh!t.
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I'm the worst golfer I know. I don't say anything anymore. Figure it out yourself. I'm dealing with my own sh!t.
Because we want everyone to have a good time. It's a natural human urge to stop another's discomfort.Very few of us are in a position to give advice. Most of us think we are, but we really are not.
For those of us who struggle, there are likely several things we are doing poorly. Even if I was able to actually correct a single issue when pointed out (which I'm not), it's not like the other issues would go away. I could have a naturally sound fundamental swing - steady head, good shoulder turn, on plane, weight shift, good impact position, etc. While I'd certainly be a much better player, there would always be bad days or a series of bad rounds that might have little to do with mechanics.
I'm not sure why we feel compelled to help others or why we think our advice is going to work - and I'm guilty of this as well.
Because we want everyone to have a good time. It's a natural human urge to stop another's discomfort.
As to why we think it will work? Ego, maybe? Not sure on that one.
That's way different than me going "Where the hell are you aiming?!?" as they are getting ready to swing. LOL.If people ask, I’ll usually say well I am no golf pro, but when I’ve struggled with <whatever their issue is>, sometimes it’s because of <whatever my root cause was>, but we’re all different.
If I notice a persistent alignment issue, like they consistently line up right of what I think their target line was, I’ll frame it as a question AFTER the shot - hey what was your target line there, and were you looking to draw, or fade, or...?
Gives them an opportunity to say well I lined up right because I’ve been pulling it, OR if they say I was looking dead center, I can say well, it looked like you were lined up down the right or something...
Oh, I am SO going to pester you with that question when we play.It was mostly a rhetorical question but you're exactly right, we want badly to help a friend who's frustrated and we think we can. There have been times when I've kept silent and hoped they would ask "what am I doing wrong".
I'm not saying the advice is always wrong. Certainly there have been times (when help is requested) that giving advice is both appropriate and helpful. But in my experience, unsolicited advice is often given as a specific move... in the middle of a round.... when someone is doing a lot of things wrong and just trying to execute to the best of their ability. From the person in that position of struggling, when asked "can I give you some advice", I will decline the advice with a "thanks but no thanks" (I'm not a lot of fun to play golf with, Lol)
If after the round that same playing partner were to ask "can I give you some advice", that would be great and well-received. IMO, that's the proper time to ask someone if they'd like some advice. And yes, I realizenot everyoneno one else is like me in that regard.
Guy like that you should really be feeding beers to. THEN it'll get entertaining.My brother is a cancer to play with. He needs to work on anger management if you ask me. But he’s the type of person to turn around after a bad shot and scream, “WHAT THE F*** AM I DOING”.
It’s a rhetorical question I’ve come to learn, but after 2 or 3 of those I can’t help but chime in my advice as his attitude is annoying. I then get yelled at for coaching, yada yada. I can only play with him once a month or it kills my spirit.
Other than that I never give advice unless it’s asked an even then I don’t like to do it.
That's way different than me going "Where the hell are you aiming?!?" as they are getting ready to swing. LOL.
I'm a lone wolf when it comes down to that. I like to dive deep into the nuances of stuff like shaft kick points, and swing weights, etc. And my friends are "Shaft? It's black."
Hahahahahaha...that's awesome!!Haha... yeah... after years in project management, where I have to try to get people who DON'T report to me to get stuff done all that time, it's second nature to phrase things in ways that don't put people on the defensive... my family calls me out on it at home now when I do it. "Dad, you're doing the work thing, stop it."
One piece of feedback I save only for good friends:
After they sh@nk one or slice it into the parking lot and yell "WHAT THE FOUL FILTH FOUL FOUL FILTH AM I DOING AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!" I go with:
"Well... so I don't usually give advice, but if you want to know... see, on the takeaway here <start demonstrating>, on that last one, and a couple others here <demonstrate, waggle the club a bit more, pause for effect>...
...what you're doing is, well, you're just no good. At all."
Mature, eh? I don't think you've read many of my posts, lol. I'm an idiot.I'm the shaft... It's black kind of person. I would like to know more but my reality is that I don't know where to begin and I don't have the brain to figure out that stuff unless I dive into it and I'm just so busy that I don't take the time to do it. It would be nice to know more about those things but I also want the help and tips from people I play with.
If I knew how to play better I would and I don't have such an ego that I get mad at others for trying to help me. I also play with people that offer advice like an adult rather than snide comments and a sarcastic attitude.
In short, if I ever play with any of you and you want to give me advice feel free to, just be mature about the delivery and I'll be mature about the reception.
As one who used to be a mopey a**hole when struggling, I completely understand this. As I've grown older, and realized it's all for fun, I don't let a bad round bring me down. I suppose that outlook may rub people wrong sometimes. when a friend is struggling, I tell them to not worry, have fun , use it as practice. Some people have a different mindset, though, in wanting to score as well as possible.This is a actually a tough topic. Struggling at golf can be very frustrating and some lock into a dour mood. Among many of my golf friends, we are generally open with each other, and everything from constructive feedback to trash talk is common. But reading the person is crucial. Some days the best option is to bite the lip and give a wide berth. I am also careful on feedback. I'm just a hack who loves golf.