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I Believe That This Is a True Statement, Do You?

NEhomer

NEhomer

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I was meeting a dad and his son yesterday at the range. The kid wants to take up golf and I said the following. One of two things will happen along this journey. You will leave the golf course at some point in absolute tears of frustration or you will never be very good at golf.
 
I know frustration. Not sure I've ever shed tears over this game, but I know the feeling you describe. Am I "very good"? I guess that's relative.
 
Point is, some blokes don't get frustrated. They grab a cart and a few brews. Light a cigar and have a blast playing the game with their buddies and kudos to those dudes. I ain't being snobbish. I'm just doubting that there's anybody who's played this game to a single digit handicap and hasn't been in tears at some point. Playing poorly has to hurt just a bit.
 
May be true in some cases, but not all. Some just grind it out. It doesn't follow that if I leave the course in frustration, then I will be good at golf. If that's all I had to do. . . .

All generalities are false, including this one.
 
Ehhh, I think this sounds like justification of having unrealistic expectations. No need to tell a young kid things like this especially when you have no idea their motivation for wanting to play golf. There are 1000 different reasons to play golf and being really good at it is not why everyone plays.
 
Frustrated sure, but I have never had any tears. Always enjoy playing even when it’s a frustrating and bad round
 
I feel there is some truth to that. To me it more of questioning "why do I pour all these hours and effort into this stupid game" than tear. AND then I show up for my tee time at 8 the next morning. :ROFLMAO:

I'm all for addressing expectations for the youngster (I feel like my grandfather :cool:) But I think we should also point out, that good/great players can enjoy non-competitive round. For example my PGA cert. swing coach (great player) plays 2 rounds a week with his wife and one of them they play music and drink beers and treat it like a date, where they happen to playing golf. I'm sure you can pick 1 or 2 people that if you could spend 4 hours with playing 18 you would happily shoot 100 to just get the time. For me, I'd love an opportunity to play with my dad again.
 
Reframmellator said:
May be true in some cases, but not all. Some just grind it out. It doesn't follow that if I leave the course in frustration, then I will be good at golf. If that's all I had to do. . . .

All generalities are false, including this one.
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if I leave the course in frustration, then I will be good at golf

Well yeah except that's not what I said.

DataDude said:
Ehhh, I think this sounds like justification of having unrealistic expectations. No need to tell a young kid things like this especially when you have no idea their motivation for wanting to play golf. There are 1000 different reasons to play golf and being really good at it is not why everyone plays.
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being really good at it is not why everyone plays

Correct and I stated so. Not sure what you're arguing.
 
I’m a stroke shy of being a single digit, but have never cried over golf and never will. But I’m an adult.

My son is a single digit, competitive golfer and has cried, but he’s a child. He also didn’t cry because of the game. He cried because it was his first big tournament and he was worried about what we would think of his score (82). He finished 2nd and learned quickly that score alone isn’t everything.
 
Jmk202 said:
I feel there is some truth to that. To me it more of questioning "why do I pour all these hours and effort into this stupid game" than tear. AND then I show up for my tee time at 8 the next morning. :ROFLMAO:

I'm all for addressing expectations for the youngster (I feel like my grandfather :cool:) But I think we should also point out, that good/great players can enjoy non-competitive round. For example my PGA cert. swing coach (great player) plays 2 rounds a week with his wife and one of them they play music and drink beers and treat it like a date, where they happen to playing golf. I'm sure you can pick 1 or 2 people that if you could spend 4 hours with playing 18 you would happily shoot 100 to just get the time. For me, I'd love an opportunity to play with my dad again.
Click to expand...

But I think we should also point out, that good/great players can enjoy non-competitive round.

Sure, nothing to argue with there.
 
Nah. Diving was the only thing I was ever really good at and I definitely got frustrated. But other folks I competed with had the ability to dedicate themselves to the sport and improve without reaching that level of frustration.
 
NEhomer said:
if I leave the course in frustration, then I will be good at golf

Well yeah except that's not what I said.



being really good at it is not why everyone plays

Correct and I stated so. Not sure what you're arguing.
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I don't think that's the message to tell a young golfer. I also don't think being so frutrated you cry is neccasary to be good at golf.
 
NEhomer said:
Point is, some blokes don't get frustrated. They grab a cart and a few brews. Light a cigar and have a blast playing the game with their buddies and kudos to those dudes. I ain't being snobbish. I'm just doubting that there's anybody who's played this game to a single digit handicap and hasn't been in tears at some point. Playing poorly has to hurt just a bit.
Click to expand...

I am going to disagree with you sentiment. Have I been frustrated yes, does playing bad suck yes, does it drive me to tears - never. In my golfing career I have had some real highs and some terrible lows. Regardless of how bad I played never did it drive me to tears, make me want to quit, ruin my day, etc. I just chalked it up to a bad day and knew the next round would be better.

The worst and probably most embarrassing round of my life, shooting 92 in mid-am qualifier. I still count as one of my favorite rounds. Why, my nephew caddied for me, and I got to witness someone achieve a lifelong goal. Did the round sting, did it suck to work towards a goal and choke my brains out, would I have rather shot 68 and qualified, unequivocally yes. But you know what I got home and my family still loved, my friends were still my friends the sun came up the next day, I went to work and dreamed about next year Ultimately I play this game for fun. The day it hurts so much it drives me to tears is the day I quit.
 
NEhomer said:
if I leave the course in frustration, then I will be good at golf

Well yeah except that's not what I said.
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Well, no, but what you are saying is nobody can ever be really good at golf unless they're so emotionally invested in it a bad day leaves them in tears of frustration. From all I'm told golf can be exceedingly frustrating. (I suppose I'll soon find out.) But your assertion does not seem like it should necessarily be true for every golfer who desires to excel.
 
if you're crying over golf, you need to take up crochet...
 
Tears seems excessive. It is a game after all....
 
It's only as frustrating as you make it. Or, let it be, I s'pose.
 
I have been as low as a -6.1. I have never cried because of golf. I used to get frustrated but never cried. I did everything I could to just laugh about it and move on with my day. Funny enough, I started to enjoy the game a lot more when I stopped being frustrated by higher scores.

I think "leaving you in tears" might have been hyperbole, but I understand the sentiment.

Also, awesome thing to say to a kid thinking about wanting to take up the game. :rolleyes:
 
Getting frustrated is part of being a golfer. One reason the sport is special is because you cannot beat the game. No one has ever had a perfect game. No who has ever played hasn’t been frustrated at their game. But without that frustration, can there be the excitement that comes from hitting a great shot? Golf is a fantastic game for kids to learn. Learning to deal with frustration is part of it. Some people may get moved to tears over a bad round. It’s all in how you deal with all of life’s kick in the pants.
 
MaybeDuffer said:
Well, no, but what you are saying is nobody can ever be really good at golf unless they're so emotionally invested in it a bad day leaves them in tears of frustration. From all I'm told golf can be exceedingly frustrating. (I suppose I'll soon find out.) But your assertion does not seem like it should necessarily be true for every golfer who desires to excel.
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^^^^ This, precisely. That is the logical followup to what you said in the original post. It is what a reasonable person might conclude from your statement.

When I was in college, our University president gave an interview to our school paper and one of his quotes ran as the headline: "Learning Is Suffering." My initial response was "Good, he realizes that some of these T/As and professors need to up their games in the classroom," but no. Upon reading the article, he actually believed the ONLY way to learn was to be under sufficient emotional or intellectual stress as to cause suffering. That is so untrue - passionate curiosity and other internal motivations have led to far more learning and progress than suffering. Can it be frustrating and lead to tears? Sure. But not always, and while I don't doubt your good intentions, in my opinion it could have been stated more effectively than to whittle it down to only two rather negative outcomes. They are possible outcomes, to be sure, but certainly not the only ones.
 
Dad's there to make sure it's fun... Depends on their opinion of not very good... Worst day golfing beats a lot of other days ... Father son time and practice hones skill
 
I have been frustrated on the golf course. I have never been in tears. In my younger days I did throw a club or two but I never left the course or the driving range because I was frustrated. Depending on your definition of good at one point I was quite good and am still pretty good.

I do think it depends on your personality though. My Dad has quit the game multiple times over the years and I know he has walked off the course before.
 
Gman79 said:
Dad's there to make sure it's fun... Depends on their opinion of not very good... Worst day golfing beats a lot of other days ... Father son time and practice hones skill
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That's the worst part about this tough guy story and blowhard comment. Let the dad and kid have fun together. Let them decide the terms of their game. Don't interject some crap about not being good because you don't cry about bad rounds.
 
I would half heartedly agree with OP's statement. I'm sure it fits a lot of golfers mental make ups.

I don't think I ever shed a tear over my game. Early on in my beginnings with golf, I probably expirienced some frustration, but that's been decades ago.

I know two youngsters, (sisters 14 & 15) who took up the game last September. One took it quite serious, and has developed a tremendous game in very short time. A tremendous game complete with some occassional frustrations.

The other, not so much. She plays the game just for fun, and not being very good at it is no big deal for her. No tears, or frustrations. She does like caddying for her sister when ever possible.

Both took up the game on a whim, and surprised their parents. .
 
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