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Anyone struggling with addiction?

Gianna1025 said:
Over the past year my family and I have been struggling with probably one of the ugliest diseases known to rear its head, addiction! My younger brother is struggling with an addiction to Percocet. It has been a very long year and has worn my nerves very thin. Over these past 12 months we have dealt with him lying and stealing to get what he needs. A part of me gets angrier than I have ever been but another part of me feels horrible for him because he can't seem to manage his stresses like the rest of us. Even though I'm his older brother I feel like I am raising him as my own. My parents are phenomenal people and have done a marvelous job raising me and my other two brothers. At some point he turned to this to help him cope with the everyday struggles we all face. Last year he went to a rehab facility for 30 days and came out full of ambition and was on the right track. Somewhere he got lost again and has had a series of relapses. It's tough to deal with all of this. I have gone to more than 2 dozen AA meetings with him and try to show him all the love and support I can. He has a sponsor now and hopefully this is the last time we have to go through this. I know he will never "get better" I'm just hoping he is able to manage this disease. Maybe you have notified my absence from the forum and maybe not, just had to get this off my chest and will hopefully be back to participating on the forum more regularly.

Anyone else dealing with this disease? If so, I hope you are able to get a handle on this and at some point get it under control and not let it control you!
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Sorry u hafta deal with this Gianna it must be hard, though I don,t know how ur pain is as I was the one who was addicted to percs for a 5 yr. run. I had a serious serious issue with this. Nothing mattered to me one bit except for scoring my next bunch of pills. I ran my family,s bank account dry, No money to pay for oil in the winter time. No money for food,only thing I had money for was dope. Yep thats right real effin selfish of me. I couldnt care less about anything except avoiding the dope sickness which happens and when it does,MY GOSH u wanna kill urself. I cant count how many times I left work sick going home looking for dope. My dealer was a phone call away and a next door neighbor to boot. Then, one Sunday morn. I woke up sick, with no dope and no money to buy I was screwed. So I manned up, told the wife everything, she was beside herself with this, this bitter resent /anger that u could feel u know. So she brought me to the local ER, got me some help. I went to re-hab the next 2 days or so I couldn,t remember cause I was so sick. Long story short,I am proud to say I am clean 1 year:act-up: I go to meetings still to this day once a week, I am also on Suboxen which kills the craving totally, though I no longer want it. I am weening of of it now and should be done by August. He just has to realize he,s at the bottom u know, he,ll come around. I was lucky, my awesome wife stuck by me, now the trust is back as well as my bank account. i wish u the best of God,s blessings if u wanna talk shoot me a PM I would be glad to help.Also you sticking by him is the best thing u can do. It shows him nobody is blowing him off, that someone is there who care,s. You are a great person Gianna keep on keeping on man.
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So sorry to hear of your brother's struggles and the pain it's caused yourself and the rest of the family.

Close to home, the only addiction I've had to deal with in my personal life is with an alcoholic father. Not trying to give him the easy way out but as far as alcoholics go, he's really not that bad. Absentee, he was never there for me as a kid. He made a lot of promises he never kept, still does, but that's pretty much the extent of things.

Professionally, I dealt with addicts often enough. As a NYC cop I spent most of my career in Community Policing and as a Youth Officer. All cops deal with addicts from a street level, whether we're locking them up for possession or sale, or for the crimes they commit in order to support their addiction.

But as a Community cop and even moreso as a Youth Officer, I dealt more with families, the after effects. I have no knowledge or training other than my own experiences and personal interactions. I have no other words of wisdom other than to offer support.

There were many successes along the way where families pulled together and the addict recovered. But a couple of things were consistent with each case. First, the successes I'd witnessed were with families that were no-nonsense. I mean, they didn't give in to emotion and false hope. They kept a clear view of the problem and its complications and took things a step at a time. In short, they didn't fall for any of the addict's BS.

Secondly, the addict him/herself has to want help. As I'm sure you've learned through AA and such, no positive change can ever take place until the addict genuinely invites it.

All the best to you, your brother and family. If you ever need to vent, this is as good a place as any...
 
I do not know what else can be said that has not already been said other than, know that we are all here for you if you need us, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
 
Gianna that's a tough spot. Currently going through the same with someone close and honestly while the person going through the addiction is suffering its usually the people around e one with the addiction that suffer. I'm not one always with the best advice but all I can say is good vibes your way and hopefully it ends well.
 
This is tough Gianna , I've been dealing with my eldest Daughter for a long long time with I hope is past issue's .
She's given me two beautiful Grand Kids. I can only hope that all will turn out well for everyone.
 
pffft my family is full of them,you name it they are addicted to it,but you have to show tough love to an addict because even when you think you are not enabling them you are.On a lighter note everyone on this site is addicted to golf and the laptop/comp or how else could we be on THP all day
 
I never had any battles with narcotics or prescription drugs, but in my youth (17 to 24), I battled alcoholism. Seven years of my life was spent seeing just how far I could push the envelope without killing myself. To this day, I wake up in cold chills thinking about things I have done in my past. I should be dead and sometimes, I feel like I am living on borrowed time. I had to reach bottom with my addiction before I could begin to pull myself up. I was arrested for DWI by the time I was 18. I was showing up to work and tossing bottles in the trash can as I walked in. My awakening was one night, I did something I regret to this day and something that really hurt those around me. I won't get into it on here, but needless to say, I didn't know who I was anymore. I felt like a monster and those around me that truly cared about me would probably tell you the same thing.

Each person has their own breaking point. And ultimately, it is up to them to get the help they need. I finally decided after my mistake, I needed help, or I was going to kill myself or worse, someone around me, with my addiction. I attended AA meetings. I went to counseling to dive into what triggered/was triggering my need to drink. And throughout, no one was pushing me. They were there, they were supportive, but nobody made me more uncomfortable than I already was. It's a tricky situation. You want to do everything within your power to help, but sometimes, the best help a person can receive, is support from afar as they find their own way.

In the end, you are the only one responsible and accountable for your own well being and peace of mind. That goes for your brother, and yourself.
 
Thanks for all the kind words and well wishes! I have a bond with him that I don't think many people have! I feel like he is my son in a way. I love him unconditionally the way a parent loves their child! I appreciate everything you guys have said!
 
Tadashi70 said:
I have dealt with my own addictions at a younger age and buried my uncle that had an addiction everyone ignored.
I know What you are going through and it's not easy! There is no magic approach, patients and intervention are key. All I can say is love your brother and support him.
We thought my uncle had kicked his habit and cleaned up until I got a call on a Saturday afternoon in 2002 from a women I never met. She told me that he was dead. By the time I reach LA and spoke to police, I was told his liver exploded and he has been dead for 5 days before they found him. No one deserves that and it was the toughest thing for me handle because I knew he had an addiction I did push hard enough. I feel if I had he would be still
Be with us. Love your brother and at some point you may have to shack the crap out of him.
God speed and strength!
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My brother battled with a addiction to drugs for many years in his 20s (heroin and cocaine specifically). Tadashi's advice hits close to home with me, because after my brother cleaned up he said it would have been impossible if our family showed "tough love" and abandoned him. My brother is now married with a beautiful daughter, and went back to school and has a good job in the IT industry now. I hope it all works out for your brother Gianna, don't give up hope.
 
When I was young, very young, 7 or so, my father became addicted to methamphetamine. I live in Alabama, where it seems like everybody knows somebody that is addicted, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

They told me and my brother that Dad was sick. That's all, he was just away, getting better. That is, after the few months that we had no idea where he was, what he was doing. Nothing. Whenever I asked Mom about it, she froze up.

This went on until he got out a few months later. We were happy to see him again, he was our dad, he was better. That is, until he fell off the wagon. Back to jail, then to a rehab facility where he stayed for a few months. That place was a God-send. He was finally clean, free of it's influence. We rejoiced, for a time.

The law, though, was less kind. It turned out he had gotten in trouble in Mississippi as well. We thought we could get him off without jail time, we tried for 6 months. Finally though, it was evident that Dad was going back. Not to a local jail though, not to a place where we could see him whenever we wished, where he got weekend passes and trustee status, but a full state away, all the way across Mississippi.

Every two weeks, we would pile into the car for a 3 hour drive to Yazoo, and visit for a few hours. It was hard. Dad was clean, yet he was still being punished, and he was being punished so far away from his support, from his family. I was bitter, as bitter as a 13 year old could be. Friends would ask where my dad was, and I would lie to them. I was ashamed, embarrassed.

People wonder why I feel the way I do about things, and I would love to tell them, but often I do not trust them enough. My best friends know, and now you guys do too. I may yet delete this post, I am not sure if I want it broadcast to the world.

I know what it's like, G. More than many. It gets better, but only if he can get the help he needs.

If you need to talk, I am here.
 
That sucks Gianna and everyone else that has had to deal with these things. I have luckily never had anyone close to me with an addiction. I've seen it happen around me, just never all that up close and personal. I can't even imagine what that's like.
 
Chunkylover77 said:
That is the key dude. He has to hit his own rock bottom and then want to pick himself up. The only thing you can do is be there for him
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This. The unfortunate and really scary thing is that rock bottom for an addict is way, way, way lower than rock bottom for a sober person. We see the risk they are really exposing themselves too, they think that's normal life. I have a lot of addiction in my family. It is brutally tough. I guess I'd say love but don't enable. Do what you can but realize it isn't your fault or your responsibility. Remember to take care of yourself and the rest of your family too. Expect relapses...frustrating as hell but it is part of the disease. Also, I've read recently that addiction is biological and not a sign the person is weak.
 
Hawk said:
I think you can offer help to a point, but eventually you just have to let them make their own way.
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I agree with Ryan on this one. Going through a rough patch the last 3 months w. my parents, not fun. Just got my dad the help he needed and hes on a good path sor far. Unfortunately, my Mom hasnt admittted to having a problem so theres not much more else we can do. Been a few tough months, but it helps when progress is made.
 
ddxu said:
I agree with Ryan on this one. Going through a rough patch the last 3 months w. my parents, not fun. Just got my dad the help he needed and hes on a good path sor far. Unfortunately, my Mom hasnt admittted to having a problem so theres not much more else we can do. Been a few tough months, but it helps when progress is made.
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Good to hear about your pops. Stay strong my dude! This is a hard thing to handle. Unfortunately there is no text book way to deal with this disease.
 
I dealt my own addiction back in the mid 90s. I've been clean from meth now for 15 years as of May 25th of this year. I went from doing a very small amount over a period of 3 or 4 days to doing $300 to $400 worth a night, in a very short period of time. But, I never saw that I was doing anything wrong. I wasn't stealing from anyone, I was working two jobs, and still paying my own bills. I guess I was whatyou could call a functional addict. But, now that I look back at all of it, I was the worst possible person I could be to pretty much everyone except my user friends. I had to hit rock bottom, just like everyone else. I remember the night and the following morning very well. Luckily, when I did hit, I had someone in my life, at the time, that gave up everything else they had going on just to be able to spend every waking moment with me, doing everything they could to keep my mind off of the desire to use. It took 3 months of just her and me before I started to feel "normal" again. Fifteen years later, and I have 2 kids, a good job, a beautiful wife, and am happier now than I ever have been.

You will hear some people say tough love, you will hear some say that you just need to be there for them. From my experiences, and others I know, I would say that there is no single way to help someone. Some people respond differently than others. Had I gotten the tough love I know I wouldn't have made it. But, like I said, that's just me. You need to find what works for your brother, and go at it full force. I know the one thing that has helped many of the people I know is to find an interest for them that is completely opposite of using, and try to get them fully engrossed in it. Me - not only did I spend that summer with my girlfriend everyday - hell, she drove me to and picked me up from work - but I did some local theater and was on stage singing and dancing, which I had loved doing when I was younger. That helped a ton, because I wasn't just sitting around thinking about wanting to get high, I was involved in something that took much time and effort and complete focus. Good luck with this. I know after having spoken to most of my family about what I went through, it was hell on them, but I just coulnd't see it at the time.
 
Gianna1025 said:
Over the past year my family and I have been struggling with probably one of the ugliest diseases known to rear its head, addiction! My younger brother is struggling with an addiction to Percocet. It has been a very long year and has worn my nerves very thin. Over these past 12 months we have dealt with him lying and stealing to get what he needs. A part of me gets angrier than I have ever been but another part of me feels horrible for him because he can't seem to manage his stresses like the rest of us. Even though I'm his older brother I feel like I am raising him as my own. My parents are phenomenal people and have done a marvelous job raising me and my other two brothers. At some point he turned to this to help him cope with the everyday struggles we all face. Last year he went to a rehab facility for 30 days and came out full of ambition and was on the right track. Somewhere he got lost again and has had a series of relapses. It's tough to deal with all of this. I have gone to more than 2 dozen AA meetings with him and try to show him all the love and support I can. He has a sponsor now and hopefully this is the last time we have to go through this. I know he will never "get better" I'm just hoping he is able to manage this disease. Maybe you have notified my absence from the forum and maybe not, just had to get this off my chest and will hopefully be back to participating on the forum more regularly.

Anyone else dealing with this disease? If so, I hope you are able to get a handle on this and at some point get it under control and not let it control you!
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really sorry to hear your going through so much. its very hard for people to understand how addiction takes over not only the life of the addicted person but everyone close to them also. my uncle was an alcoholic he was the kindest most thoughtful man i knew. he had time for everyone but the demon that is alcohol took control of his life and when he was drinking nothing else mattered. he went into rehab and came out full of hope but within 2 years was back drinking. unfortunately he died very suddenly last year of hypothermia after falling outside with too much drink. addiction is such a horrible affliction I hope your brother can get the strength he needs get himself through this
 
I am currently addicted to THP! I love this site. I hope your brother does better.
 
Well I'm not going though any addiction but I have been in your spot and it didn't end well and I'm not going to get into details but my heart goes out to you and I hope he can overcome this.
 
I also was addicted to Percocet and Darvocet about three years ago.

I had been diagnosed with Stage 3 sub mucoid melanoma. Basically, I had cancer in the roof of my mouth. Never smoked. Never chewed or dipped. It just showed up at the dentist.

They removed all of the roof of my mouth, nerves and all. They rebuilt it with cadaver tissue and calcium matrix. They ground out a quarter inch of my skull under the roof and checked it out. It was nasty surgery, but they got it all out. My only side effect is constant novacaine feeling on my mouth. 6 more months I would have been terminal...

After surgery, the pain was intense. They gave me percocet and darvocet to manage the pain. It worked well. Too well. I had tons of pills and my doctor gave me more when needed. I soon realized, that I was taking them anytime I felt I wanted to sleep soundly.

One week, I went on a business trip and got to Sacramento and realized my pills were in CT. It was sunday night, in a hotel far away from home. It was then that I finally realized I was in trouble.

That night, I got terrible tremors and vomited from withdrawal. But I was ok. Monday night, my reps wife (who was a RN) saw my hands shaking. She knew what I had gone through and asked if I was taking percocet. I told her what happened and she had me go immediately to her Dr. who she worked for.

Thankfully, I was ok. I had a terrible time sleeping. My mood was awful. I was constantly tired. I was eating like a horse.

I got home and threw away my remaining pills. Slowly, I got back to normal. I soon realized that I was lucky to be alive.

End of day, be careful with these meds. They can put you in dark places...

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk 2
 
So this is what has been keeping me off the forum for the past 2 months I guess. My younger brother is back in a rehab placement for the 2nd time in 2 years! It's such a draining disease, not just on him but on everyone in the house! My parents have changed in such a way that I barely even recognize them anymore. They snap at each other over the littlest of things and it has caused such tension in just about everyone's relationship in the house. My wife and I are house hunting and I can't wait to find the right home and settle in. Days and nights of my mom crying and my pop, well he don't say much but he wears his emotions on his face and its really sad what this disease has done to them. It's taken years off their lives. My brother has been there for 2 weeks and sounds like he is doing better but to me, rehab is the easy part of it. No way to get percs while 50 people are watching your every move. It's when he gets out that scares me. If he don't engulf himself in the process of healing he is going to keep falling victim to his addiction and to me, you might as well play Russian roulette. Anyway, figured I'd share and bump this thread so that hopefully if anyone on the forum is going through either side of this, know you're not by yourself!
 
Thoughts and positive energy going to you and yours, Gianna. That is so tough.
 
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