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funny things my wife says

wluker17

wluker17

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Last week as we are eating dinner on our wedding anniversary, my wife says, "It doesn't seem like we've been married for 5 years."

Me: "That's because we've only been married for 4 years."
 
My wife once said "yes" when I asked her to marry me. I'm still waiting for her to come to her sense.
 
So me and my wife were watching some TV the other day and a Mounds and Almond Joy commercial comes on and my wife says, "You would think that Mounds would be the one with nuts in it..."

She did realize how silly that was shortly after.
 
blugold said:
My wife once said "yes" when I asked her to marry me. I'm still waiting for her to come to her sense.
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Having met Blu, his wife is probably due for a psych eval :) j/k Blu is a good dude and he most likely outkicked his coverage
 
Jugger18 said:
Having met Blu, his wife is probably due for a psych eval :) j/k Blu is a good dude and he most likely outkicked his coverage
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No need to joke dude. You're probably right. and WAY out kicked my coverage. Plus, my wife deserves a medal for putting up with me.
 
This thread has a LOT of potential.
 
I have so many that I cant even think of them. My wife tends to talk in her sleep and say some really wacky stuff. I generally egg her on and make it worse/funnier. I write them in my phone notes so I dont forget them. One night I came to bed late and she was sleeping. I think I had a cold at the time. I was watching TV and I coughed. She, from a dead sleep, sat up in bed like the excorcist, looked at me with disgust and said "God!! Can you stop farting??" and then laid back down and was sound asleep.
 
I have so many I could put in here. But this is a family friendly forum....

I will have to see if I can remember some stuff.
 
DevRickus said:
I have so many that I cant even think of them. My wife tends to talk in her sleep and say some really wacky stuff. I generally egg her on and make it worse/funnier. I write them in my phone notes so I dont forget them. One night I came to bed late and she was sleeping. I think I had a cold at the time. I was watching TV and I coughed. She, from a dead sleep, sat up in bed like the excorcist, looked at me with disgust and said "God!! Can you stop farting??" and then laid back down and was sound asleep.
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My wife used to talk in her sleep all the time. I would have conversations with her just to see how long it would go. Haha. Lot of crazy stuff was said.
 
thetopdogg said:
My wife used to talk in her sleep all the time. I would have conversations with her just to see how long it would go. Haha. Lot of crazy stuff was said.
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Happens almost every night. I write them down as much as I can.
 
The first time I took my wife golfing we got to the turn and she asked me "when do we have tea?" Really confused I answered with a huh? She looked at me with equal confusion and said well you're always on the phone talking about "tea times". We still laugh about that.. Good stuff
 
Turns out in retrospect this was more true than funny, but at the time it cracked me up. I was sitting at my computer one morning when the wife walks by and notices a puzzled look on my face. She asked, "what's bothering you?" I said, I'm trying to decide whether to spend the money to go on a golf outing in Orlando with some internet friends I've never really met. I really want to go, but, I'm having trouble pulling the trigger. She looked at me and said "I'd go for it old man. At your age, you may not get another chance". That was my first THP Ultimate Weekend of Golf and I've tried not to miss any THP outing of any kind since.
 
thetopdogg said:
My wife used to talk in her sleep all the time. I would have conversations with her just to see how long it would go. Haha. Lot of crazy stuff was said.
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My wife does that to me although I am the one sleep talking.
 
thetopdogg said:
My wife used to talk in her sleep all the time. I would have conversations with her just to see how long it would go. Haha. Lot of crazy stuff was said.
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ddec is the one who talks in his sleep. It is really funny some of the things that are said. I tell him about it the next morning but he always looks at me like I'm crazy.
 
nerfny said:
ddec is the one who talks in his sleep. It is really funny some of the things that are said. I tell him about it the next morning but he always looks at me like I'm crazy.
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Most mornings in my house start with me saying 'Do you remember what you said last night?" And her looking like a deer in the headlights.
 
My wife once said "Sure you can do this Morgan Cup thing, it will be good for you to have that experience 1 time in your life."
 
DevRickus said:
Most mornings in my house start with me saying 'Do you remember what you said last night?" And her looking like a deer in the headlights.
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It's probably once a week he does it. Sometimes I can't tell if he really is doing it in his sleep or if he is just messing with me.
 
nerfny said:
It's probably once a week he does it. Sometimes I can't tell if he really is doing it in his sleep or if he is just messing with me.
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the world will never know
 
ddec said:
My wife once said "Sure you can do this Morgan Cup thing, it will be good for you to have that experience 1 time in your life."
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Haha 1 time:laughing:
 
nerfny said:
It's probably once a week he does it. Sometimes I can't tell if he really is doing it in his sleep or if he is just messing with me.
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I would say she does it every other night. Same scenario the other night she sat and started saying, "I need the baby" I was like 'Do you want me to go wake her up and get her?" She got all huffy and laid back down sound asleep. My favorite parts are when I ask her questions and she gets so annoyed yet she is asleep.
 
I've got a ton of funny wife stories. For the hunters out there (deer and or turkey). We were living in IL at the time and had a 2 story house with a basement. I was up late practicing my turkey mouth calls down in the basement, she was sleeping on the 2nd floor. She comes storming down the stairs yelling, "Will you quit blowing on the deer whistle!!" LOL, I don't know why, but we still laugh about that to this day 15 years later. I've never heard of a deer whistle, except maybe those things you see being sold for the bumpers of your car.
 
Before we were married, we were watching football with some friends...well I was watching, she was talking with other people. But at one point she looks at the tv and says with total seriouisness... "Wow, their wives must get really mad having to get all the grass stains out of their pants."
 
Great Thread. I will have to write down some of the thing my GF says and post them. She is so smart but comes out with the silliest things.
 
You should check out this website. Not the wife sleep talking, but the husband. Includes audio clips for your ear pleasure. I should warn you, he's got a bit of a mouth on him while sleeping.

http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/
 
We live out in the country lots of farms around so one day out driving around we pass by a lama farm she ask what do they raise lama's for? i said "for the egg's like a ostrich". We -I- still laugh about that one . Then tried to convince her that the brown cows are for chocolate milk she did'nt buy it hahaha...
 
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