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Am I an A-hole?

You could just walk away if it's no longer fun. Like me! :act-up:
 
pmm21 said:
It's always fun.
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In your original post you wrote "I got angry inside", which is why I suggested you find other playing partners. You seem to want to observe the Rules of Golf, but your friend does not. That may be a problem which can cause you anger and, or, stress. If it were me I would find someone else to play golf with as it's an easy solution.
My own experience of regular playing partner (s), versus other times paired with guys new to me (either in tournament golf or falling in as a single with others), is that golf is a sensational way to meet new people. There is nothing wrong with having a regular playing partner (s), but being paired with 2 or 3 guys you've never played with can be just as (if not more) fun.
 
I am always brutally honest when it comes to braggers and their fake scores. I have a neighbor that is fun to play with, but then he starts talking about his great score for the round.
Even though he has never come close to beating me even with his fake score, I ALWAYS remind him, in front of other people, that his score doesn't include the extra balls he dropped to hit and the topped shots that he didn't count.
I hope that some day he will learn to count the strokes correctly, but until then, I will help him out.
 
I’d let him “beat” you a few times and then try to play for money counting every shot if he wants to keep bragging. Otherwise, if he’s a cool dude and it’s not bothering your friendship, keep letting him score how he wants and jot down the real score if it makes you feel better.
 
I used to play with a guy like that. I don't any more.
 
if people want to cheat themselves that's fine, but don't try to cheat me
 
I didn't read the entire thread so forgive if been mentioned. Imo if he is a good friend especially if a close one, then you should be able to talk about this without ending any relationship. Friends should be able confront difference in a respectful way and heck even if a little on the hot side can still be done while still remaining friends. You would have to first be certain hes not just sarcastically (as a humorous friendly dig) saying he beats you when he knows and figures you also know hes not really serious. . But if hes actually claiming it on a serious note, then my above comments would apply.

I never really understood (even under friendly competing between freinds) why people have the need to outbrag each other. When I use toi play (many years back) with a few close buds (and one bro-inlaw) I always recall us all complimenting eaxch other for good shots and routing for each other to do well. Yea we tried to beat each other but you just didn't gloat or brag and actually routed for good shots as we all know we all wanted to play golf well and improve etc,,
 
Having met and played with you I know your a nice guy. Try not to let it bother you man, just keep laughing it off and politely remind him of all his extra strokes. Life’s too short to worry about crap like that
 
Hmm I appreciate your dilemma. At the end of the day if he's a good friend I'd let it go, otherwise...

This guy:
-hits multiple balls repeatedly
-is slow
-is sensitive
-cheats and brags

Yeah, it's time for a new partner I'd say.
 
When I learned to play, in the 1960's, I was taught the rules first. One of the things I love about golf is following the rules. I don't follow many rules in real life, however. If playing with someone who "cheats" bothers you, don't play with them, or tell them not to keep score and let it go.

Ever heard of Rush Limbaugh? I got stuck with him in a pro-am, and he tried to do some of the same things. He was rudely corrected, and turned all red!
 
You are not being an A-hole. When I first started playing, I did some of the same things. Hell even now I am not playing off rocks or something but that's just because I am not tearing my clubs up. If I was playing a tournament of course that would be different. I sometimes still hit 2 balls from the same spot if I am not happy with my first but only when a) It is not busy and I am not slowing anyone down and b) I finish out my score with my first ball. Its more of a learn to hit the shot thing for me on that but again not the same thing your friend is doing. Now I don't care how people play and in some cases when playing with random players that are really struggling I may tell them to take some liberties if they want to help them get some confidence and speed up play. However, I have never, not even when I was taking a lot of liberties myself early on in playing, bragged about a score that was not legit. If a friend were to ask my what I scored after a round where I took some liberties I would tell them but also include I took some mulligans, improved my lie, etc. whatever I had done on that round so they knew it was not a legit score. Again nowadays, I write down what I actually earned and don't really do those things anymore. Even then I would never brag to a friend if I beat them by a couple strokes. To me he is being the Ahole even if it was a legit score on a round with friends. Now I am all about some trash talk and joking among friends but if I shoot a legit 80 and my buddy shoots an 83 I am more likely to mention him shooting a good score then I am to say anything at all about my own.
 
Stryker said:
Hell even now I am not playing off rocks or something but that's just because I am not tearing my clubs up.
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There's no requirement in the RoG to play off rocks, roots, or anything.

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DG_1234 said:
In your original post you wrote "I got angry inside", which is why I suggested you find other playing partners. You seem to want to observe the Rules of Golf, but your friend does not. That may be a problem which can cause you anger and, or, stress. If it were me I would find someone else to play golf with as it's an easy solution.
My own experience of regular playing partner (s), versus other times paired with guys new to me (either in tournament golf or falling in as a single with others), is that golf is a sensational way to meet new people. There is nothing wrong with having a regular playing partner (s), but being paired with 2 or 3 guys you've never played with can be just as (if not more) fun.
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Couldn't agree more
 
Anyone who gloats about beating me is someone I have zero interest in playing with.

Enjoy the game, and the company, or GTFO in my books.
 
CobraX51 said:
He wants to write down an 80 then let him write down an 80.

But if he boasts about beating you that's when you drop the hammer on him and tell him what he does during a round of golf.
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This. If he’s doing that chit to boost his own ego then rock on. If he brags on”beating” you like that, smack time. If he’s actually posting those BS scores for handicapping purposes, smack time AND report him.


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I wouldn’t be having any of that boasting nonsense or his slow ass play. Maybe I’m an a-hole? :D
 
I don't have one friend who I won't give grief to for claiming something that never happened. And I'd expect nothing less if they disagreed with me about something.

If I'd ever feel the need to bite my tongue because of how they may respond... I don't think I can function like that.

Hey, I'm all about respect and decorum but boys give each other grief in jest, it's what we do. If it's expected to only go one way, I'm out. I'll find someone else with a sense of humor.

So no, I wouldn't appreciate the boasting. Wouldn't aggravate me, for the sake of accuracy I'd just set the record straight and take note of his reaction.
 
pmm21 said:
I just recalled another instance where I just laughed it off. We were on the 14th hole this past monday. It's a 593 yard right dogleg par 5 with an elevated tee box. The best tee shot you can take is to go straight over the trees on the right. Big risk/reward, so we all go for it. He hit two that veered well right and I assumed were lost.

I stepped up to the tee and proceeded to hit a wallop of a slice, which I was certain I'd never find in rattlesnake country. So I hit a provisional into the short side of the fairway. I looked for my first ball but never found it. Of course my buddy found his first one! It had a good lie and no real tree trouble either. How lucky.

He gets it to about 75 yards shy of the green, near I was looking in the deep rough to find the location of my approach - when he drove up he asked if I saw his, and I hadn't. I asked what he was hitting, and he replied "Taylormade 5." I couldn't help but let out a laugh. THAT WAS MY FIRST BALL! He had been playing a new box of AVXs all day. He made a big stink about buying them in the pro shop right before the round!
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Did you speak up and ask to see that ball (assuming you mark your ball) to see if it was really yours? Anyways, you trying to count all this guy's strokes I bet is hurting your game and enjoyment.
 
It wouldn't bother me because I know the truth. If it did bother me, I would probably ask myself where it was coming from (e.g. Competitiveness, underlying resentments).

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Kenomikes said:
Did you speak up and ask to see that ball (assuming you mark your ball) to see if it was really yours? Anyways, you trying to count all this guy's strokes I bet is hurting your game and enjoyment.
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I picked the ball from the hole for him. It was definitely mine. The thing is, I don't think it's hurting my enjoyment of the game. If anything it's making me feel better to know (in numbers) he's not as good as he says he is - hence sort of feeling like a jerk.
 
Here is my take - yes, it is annoying and it would irritate me but is it worth fighting or arguing over ? If it is worth the fight then call him on it and run the risk that the relationship will be damaged. If it isn’t worth it then let it go. The 30 years old version of me would have called him on it whereas today (60 next year) I wouldn’t bother.
 
BobA said:
Here is my take - yes, it is annoying and it would irritate me but is it worth fighting or arguing over ? If it is worth the fight then call him on it and run the risk that the relationship will be damaged. If it isn’t worth it then let it go. The 30 years old version of me would have called him on it whereas today (60 next year) I wouldn’t bother.
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My intent has never been to call him out. As I mentioned in the OP I just feel sort of jerky secretly keeping his real score, as it makes me happy to do it, and wanted to know if it's warranted.
 
I have also joked with a friend who miscounted a birdie. Something along the lines of, “You may want to count that again. The golf gods may strike us both down for claiming a birdie that wasn’t”

Shoot, that is a line we use on 6” birdie putts. “I would give that to you if it wasn’t for it being for bird. The golf gods frown on gimme birdies.”


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It's all fun and games until he brags about "beating" you.

I had a friend do the same once.

Once.

I said something along the lines of "since you are so good, and I only shoot in the 90's, how about ten bucks a hole? We play with clearly marked balls taking strokes/distance as all the rules dictate. No improving you lie, and zero Mulligan's"

We still don't play for money, and he has STFU about "beating" me when he had five Mulligan's and at least as many free drops......

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pmm21 said:
I don't really care, and I'm certainly not complaining. I will continue to play with him, as we have a good time when we're out.
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pmm21 said:
I picked the ball from the hole for him. It was definitely mine. The thing is, I don't think it's hurting my enjoyment of the game. If anything it's making me feel better to know (in numbers) he's not as good as he says he is - hence sort of feeling like a jerk.
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pmm21 said:
My intent has never been to call him out. As I mentioned in the OP I just feel sort of jerky secretly keeping his real score, as it makes me happy to do it, and wanted to know if it's warranted.
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I don't think you should feel like a jerk to be keeping track of his score on your card - as long as it doesn't affect your game or your own mental well-being. Nothing wrong with knowing what his actual score should be.

For me, I think keeping someone else's score like that would become a detriment to my enjoying my own round. Maybe you could do this for a few rounds, take the average "difference" between his real score and what he claims, and now you have his...maybe call it his "ASC" (Asshole Stroke Control). Then you can just add these 20-30+ strokes to his announced score at the end of each round and be pretty close to the real score without the hassle of tracking what he does.

You can joke about doing this to your own scores: "I had a 6. That's a 4 with ASC."

As long as you enjoy playing with him and want to keep playing with him, go for it. The slow play thing would wear on me though.
 
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