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Coping with a miscarriage

e1iterate

e1iterate

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Wife and I have been trying for kids for about a year now. We just suffered our 3rd miscarriage. The first was about 3 years ago when we were not trying and the last two have been in the last 4 months. We lost one about 7 weeks in 3 months ago...took some time off and tried again and yet another miscarriage.

Obviously my wife is devastated. She wants to be a mom more than anything in this world and as a man/husband we are programed to provide and give them what they need. During the process of helping her cope along with myself trying to stay strong for her I realized today that I haven't had time to grieve myself. I've found myself trying to stay busier than normal so my mind cant stay on this but honestly deep down I am just crushed for my wife. Work hasn't made this any easier lately either as I've had to put in tons of extra hours due to some staffing issues outside my control but I am ready for her and I to get away together for the Savannah trip coming up. Hopefully a little golf and pool time will do us some good.

For those wondering, we have seen a doctor and they put her on some medicine after the miscarriage earlier this year. We are both healthy, 32 years old and married now almost 7 years.

Anyone else gone through a similar situation before? How did you cope? Sorry for bringing this to a golf forum but this is just heavy on my mind and heart tonight.
 
No miscarriages here, but dealing with other pregnancy (or lack thereof) issues. Beyond frustrating, so can't even imagine what you guys are going through
 
Wow. I am so sorry to hear. We struggled having the first and it was tough. Stick with it. Get all the tests done and keep trying.

Prayers sent.


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Coping with a miscarriage

Happened to my wife and I twice .

Was pretty tough for me and even worse I imagine for my wife.

Wish I could offer advice but we just decided maybe it was a sign. Everyone copes differently I suppose .

We looked in to adopting but ultimately decided against it. Wish I had better advice brother and wish you and your wife all the best.

Seems like sometimes when you don't try so hard things happen.

Again I wish you both the best of luck.


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You know this is more than a golf forum. My step-brother and sister-in-law had a miscarriage about a year ago and I didn't know what to say besides I'm sorry and that I'm here for you and the same goes for you. I hope the Savannah trip is a good break and we're all here for you and your wife.
 
Thoughts you two's way dude. I really can't imagine that road, I've had some family members and close friends go through the same thing and there really are just no words.

Lean on eachother, everything will work out the way it is supposed to when it is supposed to, keep faith my friend.
 
First off Im so sorry you guys have gone through this. My wife and I have been there before and during that time we leaned on our family and friends and our faith.
Everyone copes differently and at different points in time and all we could really do is be there for each other as much as we could and to not give up on our dream of having kids.
And before you knew it we went from 1 to 3 in what seemed like no time.
 
I am really sorry for your losses. Don't apologize for posting - this is more than a golf forum.
 
I'm sorry about this and T/P coming your way. A close friend had to deal with a similar situation, kept trying and now has 2 kids. So keep trying when ready and we'll be pulling for you guys.
 
So sorry to hear that man, thoughts and prayers for both you and your wife. I've never experienced it myself thankfully, but I've had two good friends who both went through this with their first attempts and ultimately were able to have multiple kids. I hope everything works out for both of you.
 
We had one and my wife was devastated. For awhile if anyone talked about having babies and their kids around her she would get pretty upset.
It puts a little fear in you for trying again because it's a tough process afterwards too.
We've had 2 since then though, so stay positive.
 
You are not alone my friend.

Last year my wife and I went through the hardest thing we ever had to deal with. My wife was 24 weeks pregnant when she woke me up at about 7 and said her stomach felt funny and she felt cramps. We decided to go to the hospital as a precaution. When we arrived we were told she was dilating and will be delivering my son. It was not something were ready to deal with. Those twelve hours were the worst that I had to deal with. Doctors told me that they were going to try to delay labor as much as they can but there was no guarantee. The worst was being told that if my son was born, there was little to no chance of survival. That evening, May 17, my wife gave birth to my son. I held my son Gianni and could not control my emotion. I knew that he was dying on my arms and I felt helpless because there was nothing that I could do. My son passed away about two hours after his birth and there isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't think about him.

I feel your pain.
 
Never having been there cause I've haven't tried for kids I can't imagine how tough this is. However when things that seem out of my control happen in my life I think it just isn't part of God's plan. That doesn't mean your not meant to have kids, but maybe just not now. Idk if you are religious or not. If you are, pray on it. If not explore invitro, adoption, or keep trying. Best of luck to you and your wife. I hope the answer comes to you. I know that friends of mine had kids once they stopped "trying".
 
That is really tough and I'm so sorry it has happened to the two of you. I could not imagine the devastation of having to go through that one time much less three times. And absolutely no reason to apologize for anything. Thank you for feeling like you could share your story with the community.
 
My condolences. While we haven't gone through a miscarriage, we are starting up on our 2nd run of IVF, after having 3 attempts fail in the first cycle.

I walk on eggshells everyday, not knowing what I might do that will make things worse unfortunately. Work has been tough, and I have missed significant time, and contemplated quitting many times.

I honestly am super hesitant to start a 2nd go round. The first time was rough on our marriage, moreso than I had ever thought it could be. I can only imagine what a 2nd will be like.

Best of luck to you, and my thoughts/prayers are with you .
 
Sorry to hear this and feel for you and your wife. I don't have any experience with this but will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers,
 
So sorry to hear it Mike. Like everyone else, I wish there was something I could do to help. You and your wife will be in our thoughts and prayers.
 
So sorry to hear this buddy.
 
I am very sorry to hear this, that is a very tough and delicate situation. My thoughts are with you and your wife


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You're not alone.

My wife got pregnant for the first time through IVF late in 2011. She was 22 weeks when she thought she may have a yeast infection, and went into her OB for a checkup. They did an ultrasound and found out that she had cervical incompetence, which meant that she was almost fully dilated and there was no way to stop labor from occurring at that time. She called me in a panic from the OB's office, and when I got there she was in tears and basically collapsed into my arms. We were admitted to the hospital and she had the miscarriage there. My wife and I haven't discussed it with many people, but it's the reason why it bothers me when people get so excited about pregnancies before the babies are fully viable, since I know what can happen. The next few weeks after that were a really dark time for both of us. I'm a pediatrician, and it was very hard for me to be around kids at that time because I didn't know whether I would ever have one of my own.

Turns out that a few months later, my wife got pregnant naturally without IVF or any other assistance, and now we have a healthy son. Your time will come.
 
I am sorry for your loss.

One of the hardest things I have ever been through was our over 5 year struggle to have a baby. We ended up spending a fortune and eventually doing 3 rounds of IVF before we got our first baby girl. One of the most devastating moments during that journey of hope, tears, and disappointment was during our second round of IVF we saw an early heart beat on the ultrasound. We went back, maybe 3 weeks later, for a check up and to hear the heartbeat. We had a big day planned of beginning to look at baby furniture (as we had to travel almost 2 hours to Wake Forrest for this) while we were in town. Get in the room and no heart beat. They go get the doctor to check, no heart beat. Instead of going to baby stores, we went to the hospital for D&C. One of my worst days.

During IVF they will typically call you and tell you how many fertilized eggs you have and call you ever couple days to tell you how they are doing. (usually the exciting part) When it comes time to implant they will show you a couple pictures (like it matters) of the eggs and tell you why they think these ones are the best to choose. Well we arrived for implantation and they took us into a different room than usual, so naturally we are concerned. Another doctor comes in to tell us that none of our eggs are very good.(as we were previously told we had 12 awesome eggs) Tears everywhere, they tell us that if we want to go ahead and try to implant today that these three are the best of the bunch. We previously only implanted two before, but I suggested that why don't we try 3 since they weren't good. I like to pretend that my Avery was that third egg. :) She was a fighter. There were several times where we thought we had lost her during that pregnancy. Once someone from my wife's work called me at work and said my wife was gushing blood and crying in the bathroom. Rush to hospital and Avery was fine. Other than birth, that was my best moment.

You are not alone in this. I do think stress is the biggest MFer in all this though. After Avery was born we got pregnant pretty quickly on our own after that, NOT TRYING. But NEVER tell your wife not to stress about this. It is impossible and only adds to the pressure.

I will say that this honestly changed our marriage. A lot of stress, emotions, heart break, and sacrifices on that road.. the end is absolutely worth it, but my marriage just isn't the same. I suggested counseling at one point but it was a non starter. Hell maybe it was her being on hormones for almost 5 years. haha.

Hang in there. You guys will get through this. TALK TALK TALK and get counseling. I would seek fertility help sooner rather than later. Sometimes just the HOPE of help will be enough to get you to the finish line.

Need to talk shoot me a PM
 
We suffered a miscarriage during our 3rd round of IVF. Devastated both of us but crushed the wife more than I realized.
Things didn't work out for us. However I have heard of many that had several children after multiple miscarriages . My thoughts and prayers for you and your wife. Stay strong and believe.

Tap Talking my way thru the World of golf!
 
3 miscarriages over the last two years. We prayed and cried a lot. My son was born 4 weeks ago today so don't give up! If you ever need to talk pm me and I'll give you my number.
 
Sorry for your losses. Prayers sent.
Stay positive and keep trying. Vent here anytime you feel like it man.
 
Sorry for your loss. We had one 8-9 years ago.


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