These are funny. Here are the ones I see most in myself:
Oblivious Guy - So preoccupied with his own game never looks for anyone else's ball. When driving a cart, always blows past your ball and heads directly to his. "Enough about me, what do you think of my swing?"
The Air Counter - can't remember his score without reliving every shot in detail. "One in the pond, two drop, three in the bunker, four left it in the bunker ..."
Parking Lot Guy - Color-coordinated outfit, matching logos and oversized tour bag suggest he's played professionally. Topped drive off the first tee suggests otherwise. "These are the same shoes Tiger wears."
The guys I play with the most:
Cart Girl Schmoozer - convinced he has a shot at the cart girl. "We will take four more beers and one more smile, darlin."
The Frat Boy - Unable to fathom a round of golf without a steady stream of adult beverages. Idea of restraint is to hold off drinking ... until the second hole. "A few beers will loosen up that swing!"
Ball Retriever Guy - Never passes a water hazard without his trusty scoop at the ready. Last bought a new sleeve of balls in the late 80s. "Whoa ... a ProV!"
Mulligan Guy - Liberally allows himself another whack even when first shot is findable. "Wait, wait, wait ... gotta hit another."
The Cheat - A sympathetic figure when he pushes his tee shot deep into the woods. Not as sympathetic: When he announces his ball somehow stayed in bounds -- with a clear shot to the green! "Better to be lucky than good."
The Christopher Columbus - Doggedly searches for lost balls as if they're encrusted in diamonds. Thinks the rest of the group cares as much as him. "I saw it hooking by this tree, so if we all walk this line ..."
The Clueless Dad - Wants to introduce his young son to the joys of golf, even if it means six hours of misery for everyone else. "Hope you don't mind, Justin here is new to the game."
The Sulker - Even on the most beautiful days, a series of bad swings causes him to withdraw into his own cloud of misery. Will go holes on end without communicating with the rest of the group. "(In audible mumbling to himself.)"
The Jinx - Thinks he's being nice by telling you this is the best he's seen you play. Only introduces the notion that it can't last. "Someone's going to break 80 for the first time."
Several of the above are actually just one guy.
Oblivious Guy - So preoccupied with his own game never looks for anyone else's ball. When driving a cart, always blows past your ball and heads directly to his. "Enough about me, what do you think of my swing?"
The Air Counter - can't remember his score without reliving every shot in detail. "One in the pond, two drop, three in the bunker, four left it in the bunker ..."
Parking Lot Guy - Color-coordinated outfit, matching logos and oversized tour bag suggest he's played professionally. Topped drive off the first tee suggests otherwise. "These are the same shoes Tiger wears."
The guys I play with the most:
Cart Girl Schmoozer - convinced he has a shot at the cart girl. "We will take four more beers and one more smile, darlin."
The Frat Boy - Unable to fathom a round of golf without a steady stream of adult beverages. Idea of restraint is to hold off drinking ... until the second hole. "A few beers will loosen up that swing!"
Ball Retriever Guy - Never passes a water hazard without his trusty scoop at the ready. Last bought a new sleeve of balls in the late 80s. "Whoa ... a ProV!"
Mulligan Guy - Liberally allows himself another whack even when first shot is findable. "Wait, wait, wait ... gotta hit another."
The Cheat - A sympathetic figure when he pushes his tee shot deep into the woods. Not as sympathetic: When he announces his ball somehow stayed in bounds -- with a clear shot to the green! "Better to be lucky than good."
The Christopher Columbus - Doggedly searches for lost balls as if they're encrusted in diamonds. Thinks the rest of the group cares as much as him. "I saw it hooking by this tree, so if we all walk this line ..."
The Clueless Dad - Wants to introduce his young son to the joys of golf, even if it means six hours of misery for everyone else. "Hope you don't mind, Justin here is new to the game."
The Sulker - Even on the most beautiful days, a series of bad swings causes him to withdraw into his own cloud of misery. Will go holes on end without communicating with the rest of the group. "(In audible mumbling to himself.)"
The Jinx - Thinks he's being nice by telling you this is the best he's seen you play. Only introduces the notion that it can't last. "Someone's going to break 80 for the first time."
Several of the above are actually just one guy.
