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Tough week & sad times

That is sooo hard to do and will lift up a few words. First step's are huge and him wanting to make the change will get a better resolution. I feel for you and have gone through something very similar from rehab, dealing substances, personal break in to my dwelling, jail and now hopefully seeing the light. The gentleman involved in my situation is my son's older brother and my step son. I love him as my own, and want to offer whatever I can, but not being his biological father, it hurts and sometimes puts me in a no win situation.

You have been through so much from what I have had a glimpse of in the forum and can only empathize with you on this aspect. Will keep you and KB in my prayers and with the tough road ahead, may you find strength.
 
very sorry to hear this, 'G. i sincerely hope this turns out for the better for you, KellyBo, and especially your son.
 
Bill, my heart goes out to you. I have been through times similar to this and I know it is heart wrenching and difficult to know what to do. He needs your love and support. Be strong, as I know you will be, because he will need an anchor--a lifeline, something to cling to. God bless you both, and I'm praying for the best of outcomes.
 
I'm sending prayers your way this moment. My father was an addict who got help as an adult and his life was forever changed. I've only ever known him as a loving father and husband. I'll be praying that your son can have a similar story!
 
FrankA said:
Have you heard of Al Anon? It helps with those that have loved ones that struggle with addiction. It can provide a lot of support and education.
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Ole Gray & KellyBo the above is one of the best things I have read here. I am sending prayers for all 3 of you. I spent a day recently trying to check a family member into a facility. He was unable to walk; could barely talk; and though he blew a .282 had been driving around the city. He wound up walking out of the facility a few hours later and driving himself home, including talking his way past the police officer that I called to arrest him for DUI. Seeing your son laid out like that may be one of the biggest blessings of your life. I never realized how much I could contribute to someone's addictions until I spent a great deal of time with AlAnon. You did not cause his addiction, you cannot cure his addiction, and you cannot control it. Those 3 C's have allowed me to settle into a much calmer way of life. The last 6 years have been so much better. I continue to learn, daily, how to live my life without drama! I wish you three the best.
 
Grey, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine what you are going through but you are doing the right thing as tough as it can be. Glad you were able to get him some help and I truly hope everything goes well. It will be even tougher at times but I know you two can pull it through.
 
I've seen so many people go through this lately :/

I hope everything gets better for your whole family OG. I'll be thinking about you all.
 
Dance_Business said:
Ole Gray & KellyBo the above is one of the best things I have read here. I am sending prayers for all 3 of you. I spent a day recently trying to check a family member into a facility. He was unable to walk; could barely talk; and though he blew a .282 had been driving around the city. He wound up walking out of the facility a few hours later and driving himself home, including talking his way past the police officer that I called to arrest him for DUI. Seeing your son laid out like that may be one of the biggest blessings of your life. I never realized how much I could contribute to someone's addictions until I spent a great deal of time with AlAnon. You did not cause his addiction, you cannot cure his addiction, and you cannot control it. Those 3 C's have allowed me to settle into a much calmer way of life. The last 6 years have been so much better. I continue to learn, daily, how to live my life without drama! I wish you three the best.
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I will definitely find an AlAnon group for support. Right now I have a hole in my heart hurting for my son and the situation that he ended up in. His Mom and I divorced when he was nine years old. It hurt me to have to leave and I know it was extremely hard on him. I spent many hours playing in the yard, coaching him in Little League etc. He looked up to me in such a huge way. I'm not going into the divorce that caused this however when I left, it was very painful. The day before I took him to Atlanta for his flight to Florida (rehab center), we had a chat. He said you know Dad when you left, that is when my life went in the opposite direction. He said please don't think that you were the reason for me making bad decisions. Once he got old enough to drive, he pretty much disappeared out of my life. He had problems in school and my calls to him were seldom returned. I was told kids in their teens often detached from their parents at that age. The only time he came up would be at Christmas, Thanksgiving, or his Birthday. He told me that day prior to his leaving for rehab, that he was embarrassed for me to see him being a loser. He told me he started doing various drugs from his early teens. Anyway he moved up to my hometown a year ago and moved in with my brother who is single and lives in my Moms old house. My son was trying to get away from his troubles in Macon. He got a job and everything seemed to be going good until the last few weeks. My brother noticed he was sleeping a lot with some odd behavior. He called me Wednesday and I could tell he was teared up. He asked me to come over and he told me what had been going on. I brought him over to my house and we talked to him for a long time. Later that next morning at 02:30 a.m. is when my brother called saying my son was laying half in the car and on the driveway. I went to work immediately on finding him a rehab center away from home where he could get help.

You guys will never know how much I appreciate each one of you for your kind comments of support. Some of you have sent me private messages with phone numbers for support. Some have been through this or have seen family members dealing with it. I am grateful for each and every one of you. It has been a healing process for me with all the help my THP family has given. I love you guys and will be forever thankful!

Update: I just spoke with my son's therapist and she said it's going well. He is currently in the detox program and she is going to email me with more details. They are having an all day family outing on August 25th. I definitely plan on being there for my son.
 
Your family is in my prayers OG and KB. Rehab is a tough thing to deal with for a family, I had to attend and intervention for my uncle but hopefully it will change your sons life like it did my uncles
 
Gray, thank you for the update. There is no way this was your fault and you are doing all the right things here.

I've been thinking about you man, and will continue to do so.
 
You know you guys will be in my prayers. They say that the night is darkest before the dawn and God must have plans for your son.
 
I hate to hear that y'all are having this problem with your son. Please know that you all are in my prayers.
 
Wow that's really tough OG. My thoughts are with your family.
 
Ole Gray said:
I will definitely find an AlAnon group for support. Right now I have a hole in my heart hurting for my son and the situation that he ended up in. His Mom and I divorced when he was nine years old. It hurt me to have to leave and I know it was extremely hard on him. I spent many hours playing in the yard, coaching him in Little League etc. He looked up to me in such a huge way. I'm not going into the divorce that caused this however when I left, it was very painful. The day before I took him to Atlanta for his flight to Florida (rehab center), we had a chat. He said you know Dad when you left, that is when my life went in the opposite direction. He said please don't think that you were the reason for me making bad decisions. Once he got old enough to drive, he pretty much disappeared out of my life. He had problems in school and my calls to him were seldom returned. I was told kids in their teens often detached from their parents at that age. The only time he came up would be at Christmas, Thanksgiving, or his Birthday. He told me that day prior to his leaving for rehab, that he was embarrassed for me to see him being a loser. He told me he started doing various drugs from his early teens. Anyway he moved up to my hometown a year ago and moved in with my brother who is single and lives in my Moms old house. My son was trying to get away from his troubles in Macon. He got a job and everything seemed to be going good until the last few weeks. My brother noticed he was sleeping a lot with some odd behavior. He called me Wednesday and I could tell he was teared up. He asked me to come over and he told me what had been going on. I brought him over to my house and we talked to him for a long time. Later that next morning at 02:30 a.m. is when my brother called saying my son was laying half in the car and on the driveway. I went to work immediately on finding him a rehab center away from home where he could get help.

You guys will never know how much I appreciate each one of you for your kind comments of support. Some of you have sent me private messages with phone numbers for support. Some have been through this or have seen family members dealing with it. I am grateful for each and every one of you. It has been a healing process for me with all the help my THP family has given. I love you guys and will be forever thankful!

Update: I just spoke with my son's therapist and she said it's going well. He is currently in the detox program and she is going to email me with more details. They are having an all day family outing on August 25th. I definitely plan on being there for my son.
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As hard as it is - stay the course OG! My first wife and I got divorced, and she had total custody of my son. After we divorced he was finally diagnosed with Asbergers syndrome, ( although I never saw any sign of that until after we were divorced - and he was 7 ) and he had some trying times. He was put into a local psychiatric hospital, and after a day and & a half, the ex pulled him out. I said right then that was a mistake, and it has been a struggle ever since. I know it was very hard for her to put him in there, and here him cry, but you have to look at the big picture - and it looks like you are! I know things will work out, especially when he has a strong united family by his side!
 
OG and KB send lots of love to you and your family. I hope everything works our for your son. You know if there is anything Dean and I can do from NY we will. Love you both!!
 
Bill, I am in California right now but you know you and your family are all in my prayers. I will be back in Georgia Sunday night, if I can do anything for you or if you just wish to talk let me know my friend. You did the right thing for him in seeking help, now it is up to him. Stay strong!
 
I want to join the chorus in saying that we are all here for you. I know you and KB will get through this. I'm so glad that your son is getting the help he needs.
 
Ole Gray said:
I will definitely find an AlAnon group for support.
Update: I just spoke with my son's therapist and she said it's going well. He is currently in the detox program and she is going to email me with more details. They are having an all day family outing on August 25th. I definitely plan on being there for my son.
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Good for you! I know that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. You all hang in & keep in touch.
 
OG and KB, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope that your son can overcome this.
 
Ole Gray said:
It's been a tough week for me. I missed out on the Morgan Cup coverage however with some of the stuff going on in my life, I'm sure you guys/gals with understand. Between selling a house (we thought) and then taking my son to Atlanta to catch a plane, then putting a bid on another house in our new town it has been one heck of a week.

The sad part being my son had to be put in rehab for drug abuse. It tore my heart out to take him to Atlanta yesterday although I knew it might be the thing that saved his life. He called Tuesday wanting to talk about his problem and asked for advice. Both KellyBo and myself told him he needed help that only a professional setting could provide. Wednesday morning my brother called and said my son was unconscious in the driveway where he and my brother live. He was laying halfway in his car with his legs on the cement. This was at 2:30 a.m. My brother could not wake him up. I rushed over and felt his pulse which was faint but ok, and I could hear him breathing. I picked him up and took him in the house where I tried to talk to him. He was totally out of it but did wake up long enough to chat but not making any sense.

The next morning I researched some drug rehab centers and we found a good one in West Palm Beach. It's a Christian based rehab center. We worked out the details with my health insurance etc. and we took my son up to Atlanta and got him on the plane at 7:45 p.m. I had to get this off my chest to my buddies on here as I feel totally drained, worried, and anxious to hear how he's doing. He will be in detox for three days and then I will get a report on his progress. He will also be at the center down there for 30 days for a lifestyle change and drug rehab program. Thank God for KellyBo! She has been my rock throughout this event.
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Hey Gray,very sorry my buddy. I personally went thru rehab for addiction to painkillers and it turned my life around. The same I feel it will do for ur son. The counselors who worked with me are angels as fgar as I,m concerned. You just wait, wait till u see ur son next and watch the improvement he,s made. After re-hab he has to want to stay sober and if you guys foster that enviroment he will be fine. Like I said Ive been thru it before so if u wanna chat send me a pm. Good luck to you and kellyBo and God bless your son!
 
Sorry to hear about this Bill.
The house sale is back seat to family needs for sure Buddy.
Your THP family has your back and Thankfully KB is there for you to lean on when you need her most.
Good Luck with this issue.
 
OG, my heart goes out to you. I can only offer my best and that your son finds at his rockbottom the twinkle of hope to rebuild to a clean lifestyle. This will be an agonizing process built upon small successes and learning from failures.

My brother has a problem and continues to struggle with it - he believes in shortcuts. He and I, sadly, grew apart long before his drug isues although I root for his success on a regular bases - he will always be my brother and I want the best for him.

Like my brother, I'll root for your son. Good luck OG, you are in my thoughts.
 
marcv68 said:
Hey Gray,very sorry my buddy. I personally went thru rehab for addiction to painkillers and it turned my life around. The same I feel it will do for ur son. The counselors who worked with me are angels as fgar as I,m concerned. You just wait, wait till u see ur son next and watch the improvement he,s made. After re-hab he has to want to stay sober and if you guys foster that enviroment he will be fine. Like I said Ive been thru it before so if u wanna chat send me a pm. Good luck to you and kellyBo and God bless your son!
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First of all thank each one of you who have lifted my day by your warm and uplifting comments! You guys are great and you have no idea how much I appreciate ya.


Marcv - Thanks buddy and it is a true testament of this site as to the great folks on here who have sent me a pm or have said reach out if ya need me. THP is second to none in regards to family and I appreciate each and every one of you in support our situation.
 
Quick update: My son's counselor called today and said that he is already asking about coming home early. He made it through detox and now he thinks the next part of the journey will be easy. KellyBo and I have already booked a flight down for August 24th which cost us $400.00 plus bucks, which is non refundable. I also have to pay for my son's return flight home. For those of you who have been through something of this nature, why would he want to come home so early. If I talk to my son today I'm going to insist that he stay for the long haul. I think to allow him to cut his 30 day rehab short would be a huge mistake. I made it through six weeks of Army boot camp so I think he should be able to tough it out for 30 days of rehab. Thoughts on this are certainly welcomed.
 
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