Was this rude or am I just too new to know the difference?

Let me start by saying that I'm very new to golf. I played some in my early 20s but not much. In the last 6 months I've really taken to the game, playing at least once per week. My local CC had a black friday membership deal that was too cheap to pass up, so I joined. At least for the next few months of low dues, I'll be saving money by playing here regularly. That said, there is no scarlet letter on my chest that tells other members I paid a low initiation fee and have low dues... I'm just new and not many people know me yet. Most of the people I've met in the past few days have been very friendly and easy to get along with. I generally get along with everyone too.

So, here's what happened. I took my father to the club yesterday to play. He has never seen the course and it was a somewhat slow day. We got a 9:15 tee time by ourselves, but there were groups in front of and behind us. The group behind us was playing faster with 4 than we were with two, so after the 9th we decided to stop in the clubhouse and grab a bite and let them play through. Out to 10 and as we're heading to the tee on our cart, another cart zooms in front of us and parks at the tee. No problem, they can play through too. I'm easy going and we're just there to relax and have fun. One guy hits and the other is taking his time in the cart. I figured he was totaling the front 9. after a couple minutes he got up and hit, then returned to the cart and they didn't move. They didn't say anything to us or even acknowledge that we were waiting behind them. Just sat there in front of us for a couple more minutes. Then here comes another cart with two more guys, they zoomed around us and pulled in behind the first two. They both got out and hit their drives, then the foursome left. One guy in the later cart actually nodded at us, but that's the only time any of them seemed to realize we were there. None of them seemed to be having fun, they were just playing golf... but it felt rude that they knew they were waiting on half of their group and didn't let us play through. We sat there on that tee for at least 7 or 8 minutes before they left the tee, and 15 before they were done and we could play. It was a short par 4 that they took their time playing, with two of them in the water 80 yards to the right of the green (WAY off track, it took some really bad shots to get there). I only mention their bad play b/c it wasn't like they assumed they were just going to get off the hole quicker than we could. I wasn't going to hit into them, trying to be nice. maybe I should have, I dunno.

I didn't know any of them and they didn't know me. but I know if the situation was reversed and I saw a twosome ready to tee when I was still waiting for half of my group to get done in the restroom or whatever... I'd let them go through. So, was this rude of them? Or was this normal behavior for CC players? Perhaps because they didn't know me they correctly assumed I was new and didn't feel obligated to be nice... thoughts? I hate to think that this is normal.

I think it was definitely rude of them. What I'd do is pay attention to if you see them again and if they're members. Then you can ask around if this is regular behaviour. I think they should have let you by and not blown by in the first place. Did you ever have to wait on them? If they were speed playing, at least they should have let you tee off and just ask that you let them by when they caught up.

Definitely rude. I can't imagine that this is a normal practice but I could be wrong, for your case I hope that I am. Best of luck with the new CC, I hope that you can find your place and enjoy the new club.

I have to wonder if they thought you guys were trying to hop in front of them since they had been playing behind a different group (assuming I'm reading this correctly).

Right or wrong, they wanted to maintain their spot in "line" so to speak....but I would have spoken to you if I was them to see what was going on exactly.

#Cookie said:

I have to wonder if they thought you guys were trying to hop in front of them since they had been playing behind a different group (assuming I'm reading this correctly).

Right or wrong, they wanted to maintain their spot in "line" so to speak....but I would have spoken to you if I was them to see what was going on exactly.

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This is what I was thinking.

Yes, that was rude. If you're going to wait for your buddies and think you have the hole taken because you've already tee'd off and can now sit and wait for the other two....that was rude. At least tell me what you're doing, but don't think for a second that this is normal or ok, because it's not.
I hope this is a one time situation for you, and you don't let it spoil your membership and fun at the course.

Cookie makes a good point, but I still think it's rude.

Communication is key here, if they had no idea that you and your father let another group through, and you sat there waiting for the second half of their foursome, seems like a bit of conversation may have cleared it all up?

Regardless, what happened as you described it, I consider rude.

#Cookie said:

I have to wonder if they thought you guys were trying to hop in front of them since they had been playing behind a different group (assuming I'm reading this correctly).

Right or wrong, they wanted to maintain their spot in "line" so to speak....but I would have spoken to you if I was them to see what was going on exactly.

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yeah you're probably right, and they did clear out pretty quickly after that b/c they skipped two holes. I just didn't want to confront them being new, and also being a big guy. I'm not a violent man by any means, but when someone my size says anything remotely confrontational, people feel threatened and get defensive really quickly... not a situation I wanted to get into. It was just easier to let them go through and keep having fun with my dad. It didn't ruin our round or anything. I was just curious if I should expect more of it in the future.

baldguy said:

yeah you're probably right, and they did clear out pretty quickly after that b/c they skipped two holes. I just didn't want to confront them being new, and also being a big guy. I'm not a violent man by any means, but when someone my size says anything remotely confrontational, people feel threatened and get defensive really quickly... not a situation I wanted to get into. It was just easier to let them go through and keep having fun with my dad. It didn't ruin our round or anything. I was just curious if I should expect more of it in the future.

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You did the right thing given your comfort factor and getting accustomed to everything. I highly doubt you see this much in the future.

They were rude. You can put all the other things aside, none of it matters because the rudeness starts when people don't greet and talk to other people. When to people or groups meet, they should greet, it's a golf course and it's a social game. When people greet, talk and so forth, all problems that might have existed, usually goes away, since people can solve the issues if there's any. Communication is the key. I think the OP tried to be a nice person and said hello, but some people just don't respond and those people suck.

They were just rude. I had a similar situation happen at my club a couple years ago.

My group had stopped at the clubhouse to hit the bathroom and then went out to the tee box. While we were in there, the group behind us played through, not a big deal. There was also a two-some that pulled up right as we walked out, so we let them go through as well and then stepped up on the tee box. Then a four-some came up as we were starting to take our tee shots and one of the guys said something pretty rude, I can't remember exactly what it was. I was in a pretty foul mood that day, and it was apparent that he thought we were starting on the back, but instead of asking about it, he made rude comments loud enough for us to hear him to his buddy in the cart.

At that point, I had enough and let loose on him about his attitude, especially since he didn't even ask what was going on and explained the situation using some adjectives for good measure. He backed down and grumbled and was talking under his breath about me to his buddy, so I called the Pro to come out and handle it because I was not in the mood for words anymore. After the Pro got done talking to them, we never really saw them again.

I was thinking along the lines of cookies first comment. They may not have known that you were actually in front of them from the get go. Next time speak up politely and let them know what was going on. You don't have to be confrontational. As it is, it worked out anyway due to them skipping ahead and not holding you up. Some people do get very "territorial" as far as where they are in the line of play though.

I have to agree with Pound Cookie's statement...they probably thought you were trying to start on the back since they had already been playing behind the other group, but it doesn't excuse them from not acknowledging you and holding up the tee box while they waited for the rest of your group.

My home course has a real issue with people just deciding to start on the back....the front 9 is a pretty open "links style" design and you can see the entire first hole, the second fairway and green and the 4th tee box and fairway from the clubhouse, so people show up...look out and if they see a couple of groups on those first holes they drive to #10 since we don't have starters.

I was playing a few weeks ago with a buddy as a 2 some....we putted out on 9, walked back to our carts and started driving towards the clubhouse. We weren't planning on stopping but just as we got to the clubhouse area a 5 some took off in carts and headed to #10 tee just in front of us, they pulled up to the tee box and jumped on the tee as we pulled up. I didn't know any of them so I don't think they were members or regulars, I told the guy on the tee box that we were ahead of them since we were continuing our round and he said "too bad, we got here first".

I let him hit while I called the pro shop and they sent someone out and told the 5 some that they would be required to start on #1....so the jerk had to drive down the fairway, retrieve his ball and then drive to #1 tee box.

I didn't have an issue with them starting on #10, people do it at my course all the time, but you yield to the groups finishing #9 and then fall in line....plus a 5 some should have let a 2 some go ahead of them anyway.

No doubt this was rude of them but you have to keep in mind that golf is an honorable game often played by less than honorable people. I'd just let this run off like rainwater. If this was the worse thing that happened to you that day, life is good. I choose to let the assclowns have their way and I refuse to lower myself to their level which means just taking it all in stride.

TripleBogieTim said:

I have to agree with Pound Cookie's statement...they probably thought you were trying to start on the back since they had already been playing behind the other group, but it doesn't excuse them from not acknowledging you and holding up the tee box while they waited for the rest of your group.

My home course has a real issue with people just deciding to start on the back....the front 9 is a pretty open "links style" design and you can see the entire first hole, the second fairway and green and the 4th tee box and fairway from the clubhouse, so people show up...look out and if they see a couple of groups on those first holes they drive to #10 since we don't have starters.

I was playing a few weeks ago with a buddy as a 2 some....we putted out on 9, walked back to our carts and started driving towards the clubhouse. We weren't planning on stopping but just as we got to the clubhouse area a 5 some took off in carts and headed to #10 tee just in front of us, they pulled up to the tee box and jumped on the tee as we pulled up. I didn't know any of them so I don't think they were members or regulars, I told the guy on the tee box that we were ahead of them since we were continuing our round and he said "too bad, we got here first".

I let him hit while I called the pro shop and they sent someone out and told the 5 some that they would be required to start on #1....so the jerk had to drive down the fairway, retrieve his ball and then drive to #1 tee box.

I didn't have an issue with them starting on #10, people do it at my course all the time, but you yield to the groups finishing #9 and then fall in line....plus a 5 some should have let a 2 some go ahead of them anyway.

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Bravo!! Only thing that would have made that better would have been to tell him that you didn't care about them playing on the back, but they should have honored polite etiquette since you were continuing your game first off and second off you were a pair that would have been behind a fivesome. His arrogance didn't allow for that.

This was definitely rude and in my overall experience, with being new to golf this year, this isn't the norm. I have run in to a few rude members at my course and I'm pretty sure everyone on here knows or has known "that guy" at their course.


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baldguy said:

yeah you're probably right, and they did clear out pretty quickly after that b/c they skipped two holes. I just didn't want to confront them being new, and also being a big guy. I'm not a violent man by any means, but when someone my size says anything remotely confrontational, people feel threatened and get defensive really quickly... not a situation I wanted to get into. It was just easier to let them go through and keep having fun with my dad. It didn't ruin our round or anything. I was just curious if I should expect more of it in the future.

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i am 6'2" 355 lbs, people really don't tend to get up in my face very much so i understand your situation, that being said, a little conversation like " excuse me gentlemen, i believe we are up next on the tee", and then explain you let the the group in front of them play through. be polite, be friendly.

all too often i find people would rather let the staff handle something that should be taken care of by adults acting like adults. you can be friendly with out be rude. common sense can go alooooong way on a golf course

yeah I hear ya. I'm just so new to the game and especially the club... didn't want to make enemies so soon

at 6'6" 285 (big frame, former offensive lineman, not the best for a golf swing) just me walking up to a stranger's cart causes some people to freak out. A polite conversation from me might get construed as a threat... it has happened in the past. Nothing I can do about that, but I've learned how to avoid certain situations. Coupled with the fact that they already acted like they owned the place (who knows, maybe they do) and clearly didn't care that we were sitting there... I didn't see a scenario where me approaching them would turn out well for anyone. So we blew it off and continued having a blast playing golf.

I'm not one to get the staff involved unless it's something that I think needs their attention. Someone driving carts up near wet greens or otherwise damaging the property, stuff like that. If it's a personal thing it can stay personal... or like in this case unresolved. It's really not a big deal, some people are a-holes. We all know that. it didn't affect me for more than the 15 minutes I had to wait on them. Hell I even shot 3 strokes better on the back than the front. I was just trying to figure out if I was overreacting, maybe I did something wrong, or if this is normal CC-rich-guy behavior and I should get used to it. Thankfully that doesn't seem to be the case.

Yep Rude indeed. Glad I wasn't there, because I would have called them on it. And I don't think it matters that they might have thought they should be ahead of you. Unless that particular club has different rules. At my club we have a starter on duty to handle these things and coming off the 9th doesn't necessarily mean being behind the same group you were behind on the front, since the tee off order is alternating.... one new group, one coming off nine, one new group, one coming off nine... and so on. Maybe your club needs a starter.

Definitely rude. Like stated earlier, a little convo goes a long way.

This happened to me a few weeks ago only I was the guy pulling up and didn't recognize the group as the ones being in front of us the whole time. Admittedly I was annoyed already, so I asked in what I thought was a polite tone if they were just starting on the back. One guy then explained that they had stopped in the clubhouse and let the group between us play through. Simple. All was well from there on. Especially now that you're a paying member, I wouldn't put up with anything like that again. At 5'10" 170, I'm not intimidating, but if I have a question, you'll know lol.

#Cookie said:

I have to wonder if they thought you guys were trying to hop in front of them since they had been playing behind a different group (assuming I'm reading this correctly).

Right or wrong, they wanted to maintain their spot in "line" so to speak....but I would have spoken to you if I was them to see what was going on exactly.

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Cookie nailed it (along with others). Once you guys went in to eat lunch then it's more on you to make sure no one is on the 9th green when you decide to get back in order and head to the 10th tee box. For all they knew you were cutting in to play 9 holes. But yes, sounds like they were a-holing it up to make their claim to the box.

Nate said:

Cookie nailed it (along with others). Once you guys went in to eat lunch then it's more on you to make sure no one is on the 9th green when you decide to get back in order and head to the 10th tee box. For all they knew you were cutting in to play 9 holes. But yes, sounds like they were a-holing it up to make their claim to the box.

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FWIW, we did check. these guys weren't on the 9th green (nobody was). They were at the clubhouse, apparently with half the group taking a potty break or something. The one cart didn't take off till they saw us heading towards the 10th. Maybe I just need a faster cart

Nixhex524 said:

Definitely rude. Like stated earlier, a little convo goes a long way.

This happened to me a few weeks ago only I was the guy pulling up and didn't recognize the group as the ones being in front of us the whole time. Admittedly I was annoyed already, so I asked in what I thought was a polite tone if they were just starting on the back. One guy then explained that they had stopped in the clubhouse and let the group between us play through. Simple. All was well from there on. Especially now that you're a paying member, I wouldn't put up with anything like that again. At 5'10" 170, I'm not intimidating, but if I have a question, you'll know lol.

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I like it. A little polite conversation goes aloooooong way on the course!

yeah the difference is that Nixhex524 asked before just assuming. These guys obviously wanted no part in a polite conversation. They clearly saw us and made the decision to be rude instead.

If something like this happens again, I will speak up. like you guys said, I'm a dues paying member. No reason I should be treated like that if I'm not doing anything wrong.

Callawaygolfpro said:

Definitely rude. I can't imagine that this is a normal practice but I could be wrong, for your case I hope that I am. Best of luck with the new CC, I hope that you can find your place and enjoy the new club.

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Agree, this is not normal CC behaviour, it is simply and downright rude!