Mental Health: Make it a Priority
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2015
- Messages
- 15,093
- Reaction score
- 16,109
Good to see this thread. This community is something special. I was in a tough place a few weeks back. Caught me off guard. Had to step back, do an honest assessment, and get back to basics to find balance and resilience. 
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2012
- Messages
- 54,404
- Reaction score
- 19,863
- Location
- South Georgia
- Handicap
- Cold Temps
Feel bad that I have not noticed this thread until now. Some really great advice, and individual stories, in here from THPers. I have always been one to hold my emotions really close to the vest, much to the dismay of my wife, but have learned to open up to her and my daughters in the past couple of years and getting stuff off my chest rather than internalizing pretty much everything has really helped my mental well being. It was always a me problem for not opening up and certainly a case of them not wanting to listen.
Woof. Nerve pain (back/sciatica) sucks. I've been unable to move normally for 5 weeks and at this point even driving to the pool for a quick hot shower and some floating therapy is too much. Mostly confined to home unless its damn important, and suffering from lack of socialization and rough mood because I seem to be getting more bound up., not less. I've been talking out loud to friends to help, and saw this thread pop up on my notifications and what a good place to post.
I need to up my mental game and start getting more positive. Its tough when you can't really even sleep!
I need to up my mental game and start getting more positive. Its tough when you can't really even sleep!
- Thread starter
- #80
I feel bad that I didn't see this post until just now. I'll be totally honest with you when I say that I've made some of the greatest strides in my recovery/handling of my issues just by talking to a professional. Hell, just talking to someone I trust has helped a ton. We men, we have this idea that we shouldn't talk about things that might be bothering us because it "shows weakness". I say **** that theory! It's 2023, and everyone deserves to be happy!
My mental health is essentially a roller coaster down to one track and no safety harness. I’ve learned to manage it hard the last few years with focus. One thing that’s an issue is if I were to go to a psych and have some type of prescription it could lead to work issues. We take care of people just not ourselves
It might sounds virtuous, but the medical complex has had this backwards for far too long.
You have to take care of yourself in order to care for others.
I truly have no idea how medical professionals such as yourself can do what you do say in and day out. The things you have to deal with, the people etc it’s remarkable. Add on top of it, the fact that you’re unable to look out for numero uno just doesn’t seem right.
It’s simple. I ain’t wired right. I was. Time changed it.
RecGolfer
Well-known member
I was so nice of you to have brought up this subject and having the courage to mention your troubles. I am in my ninth year with an incurable cancer. I do a focused deep breathing exercise for two hours a day to maintain my mental health. It means everything.
A combination of stress, some new medications that are throwing me for a loop on this sinus journey thing, a weird weight gain over the past month... all leaving me feeling super weird right now.
Went through last night after the wife went to bed, and tore apart my tool room and reorganized everything.
Got finished, and hated it immediately. Tore it all apart this morning. Slowly trying to put it all back together again.
Stuff everywhere in the house. Kids junk, wife's junk, my junk.... trying to sell stuff and get rid of clutter. Anxiety over all the mess is driving me nuts.
Went through last night after the wife went to bed, and tore apart my tool room and reorganized everything.
Got finished, and hated it immediately. Tore it all apart this morning. Slowly trying to put it all back together again.
Stuff everywhere in the house. Kids junk, wife's junk, my junk.... trying to sell stuff and get rid of clutter. Anxiety over all the mess is driving me nuts.
Any relief in the last couple days? clutter is major anxiety causing. People hate organizing but love and find relief in temhe result .. that's why stuff like journaling helps, it gets the clutter out of the mind
Anxiety over the other stuff is still there. Clutter anxiety gone down.
Ended up having to leave the house for an hour yesterday. Came home from getting groceries and needed to just leave again. House full of kids, unannounced guests, racket... just couldnt deal with it.
Spent a lot of time this weekend by myself just moving stuff. Silly enough, my work bench has been emptied/refilled repeat about 5 times. Trying to find solutions that work better, better organize, easier access.... still ongoing.
Son wanted a 3d dinosaur puzzle put together. I ended up just sitting and zoning out for about 3 hours today tinkering with it. It helped a bit, just trying to get out of my head
Ok well *I* feel bad about not seeing *this* post until now.
and I agree with you 1000% and I love seeing people when they’re ready take the step of either talking with someone, or finding the right meds to help, or both.
For a very long time, I thought every ounce of depression/anxiety I was dealing with for so long was from my mom’s side of the family. It took time before I began to see the signs, and I realized that no, the anxiety part (especially related to losing control of certain things) was actually from my dad’s side. BUT as you noted, he grew up in the era of “just bury it and ignore it” instead of healthily dealing with it. We’ve talked about it in a specific sense a lot over the last 2-3 years, and I think it’s helped both of us just better understanding what our brains are doing.
It's been a very tough year health wise. 2 surgeries and multiple hospital stays. I've never been a person that even thought about anxiety or depression but now it's on my mind a little too much. It got to a point where I didn't want to leave the house, and as soon as I did I would get nauseous and sometimes dizzy. I tried to just grin and bare it but it was becoming too much. Thankfully my sister has been having similar issues and she has helped me a ton. Her and my wife, who is just the best person there is.
I'm still thinking of getting professional help but thinking of doing that makes me even more anxious...yeah I know makes no sense.
I'm still thinking of getting professional help but thinking of doing that makes me even more anxious...yeah I know makes no sense.
Totally get what you’re saying. I’d recommend it and trying to be patient with it once you feel ready!
I can’t go into much detail on this here, but I recently had something on my mind that was really bothering me/getting under my skin. After months, I reached out and talked about it with someone who I knew was impacted by it in the same way, and man oh man, the emotion just poured out.
dhartmann34
Well-known member
Been a really stressful couple of months for me. Started an accelerated program for my CFP designation which is easily like a second job. We lost my wife's aunt in December at age 62. Then my uncle, who was more like a big brother to me, at age 51, about a month ago. And while I'm usually pretty stress free, or at least I deal with it fairly easily normally... Things have been building lately.
Today I found this pretty insightful article and study about micro stressors, which really resonates with me. I thought it might be a nice read for some folks. Definitely touches on a lot of areas and topics I found helpful. I'm going to give it another read in a couple of days. Definitely curious to know what you think of you give it a read.
hbr.org
Today I found this pretty insightful article and study about micro stressors, which really resonates with me. I thought it might be a nice read for some folks. Definitely touches on a lot of areas and topics I found helpful. I'm going to give it another read in a couple of days. Definitely curious to know what you think of you give it a read.
The Hidden Toll of Microstress
Microstresses are small moments of stress that seem manageable on their own — think a vague, worrying text from your teen flashing on your phone while you’re in a meeting, the appearance of a colleague who always wants to vent to you, or having to tell your team that the project you’ve all been...
So sorry for your lossesBeen a really stressful couple of months for me. Started an accelerated program for my CFP designation which is easily like a second job. We lost my wife's aunt in December at age 62. Then my uncle, who was more like a big brother to me, at age 51, about a month ago. And while I'm usually pretty stress free, or at least I deal with it fairly easily normally... Things have been building lately.
Today I found this pretty insightful article and study about micro stressors, which really resonates with me. I thought it might be a nice read for some folks. Definitely touches on a lot of areas and topics I found helpful. I'm going to give it another read in a couple of days. Definitely curious to know what you think of you give it a read.
The Hidden Toll of Microstress
Microstresses are small moments of stress that seem manageable on their own — think a vague, worrying text from your teen flashing on your phone while you’re in a meeting, the appearance of a colleague who always wants to vent to you, or having to tell your team that the project you’ve all been...
I decided earlier today that I’m no longer giving a 
about most things. Doesn’t matter what I do or how much I give, the end result usually is something more is needed, well usually wanted. I’ve allowed my sole purpose to be others gain. Not anymore. Never again. I’ve stared darkness in the eye before many times. I’ll brighten it myself.
about most things. Doesn’t matter what I do or how much I give, the end result usually is something more is needed, well usually wanted. I’ve allowed my sole purpose to be others gain. Not anymore. Never again. I’ve stared darkness in the eye before many times. I’ll brighten it myself.
I missed this a year ago or so when it started, this is something I need help with. I've hidden way too much & at the point my life may implode if I don't do something.
Thank you for starting this, much needed.
Thank you for starting this, much needed.
Damn. This thread hit hard today. I had missed it somehow earlier, but I'm glad I stumbled upon it now. Reading all of your posts and honest feelings brings my own to the forefront and stopped me to consider, how am I doing today. The truth is, not that great. And to say that takes a lot of effort for me, as I'm one of those people, who doesn't like admitting they aren't on top of things. I'm very grateful to all of you, who shared here, it helps relate and find perspective.Been a really stressful couple of months for me. Started an accelerated program for my CFP designation which is easily like a second job. We lost my wife's aunt in December at age 62. Then my uncle, who was more like a big brother to me, at age 51, about a month ago. And while I'm usually pretty stress free, or at least I deal with it fairly easily normally... Things have been building lately.
Today I found this pretty insightful article and study about micro stressors, which really resonates with me. I thought it might be a nice read for some folks. Definitely touches on a lot of areas and topics I found helpful. I'm going to give it another read in a couple of days. Definitely curious to know what you think of you give it a read.
The Hidden Toll of Microstress
Microstresses are small moments of stress that seem manageable on their own — think a vague, worrying text from your teen flashing on your phone while you’re in a meeting, the appearance of a colleague who always wants to vent to you, or having to tell your team that the project you’ve all been...
The article in the quote was very insightful. I've usually been thinking about cumulative stress. Not one thing pushes people over the top, but the series of stressors, both positive and negative, that take the toll. The article highlights the smaller ones that are harder to recognize. Thanks for sharing it @dhartmann34!
I wrote out the below portion and added the tags, because it's a long one and I understand it might not be interesting or read worthy to some who come here.
Spoiler
For anyone needing someone to talk to, at any point, time and place, reach out. There are a ton of people here, and I'm also always happy to be an ear for anyone. I have my things going on, but I'll never not pick up if someone reaches out in need.
I'm sorry to hear that some folk are going through a difficult time at the moment. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.
Never noticed this thread before. Having some challenges myself lately which have sort of blind sided me. Trying to figure out why etc.. It’s…..been rough and hopefully I’ll get it sorted. It has def impacted my ability to get on THP as much as I’d like. Hope everyone is well.
Last edited:
Wishing each of you going through something the absolute best. Prioritize yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help when needed.
Not sure how I'm just seeing this thread, but I appreciate it. It has been a tough last year. Losing 2 very close friends in mid to late 2022, my wife's grandmother in November, her cousin having a stroke about a month ago, her uncle passing about a week and a half ago and then her other uncle passing Sunday. Been a rough patch and I'm just so tired. Tired of attending funerals, hospitals, and again, just in general tired. Working out, the sport of golf, and being able to turn to God have kept me afloat. This forum has been a big part of my life and honestly, the last month or so I haven't felt as connected to the forum as usual. Don't know if it's just all I have going on in my life, or what, but I find somethings just tick me off so much easier. My Grandaddy guys and Rivalry guys are my rock along with a couple others that I'd like to call out and just say thank you! @tequila4kapp @dacatalyst41 @KEV @PhillyV @BlueHen2006 @Phil75070 @mpeterson @rogt @ArmyGolf @shanewu @Boder @squirly_dave @e1iterate @Ludin @Tread23 @DannyLe @Parrot @Someonescoat @OldandStiff I appear happy and go lucky most of the time, but it's been rough and I worry about my wife and daughter more than myself. I guess that's just me wanting to take all the stress and sadness from them. Thank you to those that have been there for me to vent and just talk. It's much appreciated. More than most know.
Last edited: