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Mental Health: Make it a Priority

Junkyard

Junkyard

Will Travel for Golf
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I originally intended to create this thread yesterday but failed to do so. Canada's national telecommunications company (Bell) started a program years ago called "Let's Talk" and yesterday was the focus day. That fact, however is irrelevant in terms of this post and my intentions.

As a person who has experienced my own struggles when it comes to mental health and well-being, it doesn't go unnoticed when I see the potential signs of someone having a hard time. I make no claims to be a professional, so all I can do is speak from my own personal experience(s). It has been noted here that others have had their own struggles - I think one of the good things that can come out of the experience is the support and advice they can in turn provide to others.

If you're the least bit active on here, I'm sure you've noticed that some of our online friends have been less active, or possibly less positive in their postings. It's no secret that the last year plus has put people under extreme pressures in a myriad of ways. Toxicity is everywhere, with the exception of this online community.

I guess what I'm asking is for you to take a look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. If you don't feel right, don't sleep on it hoping it will go away. It might be a hard thing to do, but if I can give you one piece of advice is that is gets worse before it gets better. The quicker you deal with the problem the easier the solution.

At the same time, if you see a family member or a friend who doesn't seem like themselves ask the question. Something as small as asking how they're doing or what's a the top of their interest list can start a valuable conversation. Sharing a coffee or a round of golf can be a gateway. It's getting better, but again speaking from experience I will tell you that most people don't want to ask for help. Don't make them ask - there are lots of great resources out there but the best resource is a friend or family member you trust even if it's just that person steering them to a professional.

This online community is an awesome resource for those of us that get to enjoy it, let's not forget about those that don't enjoy the same benefits that we do.
 
Absolutely. I love this forum and by and large, it has kept me engaged and interested in some dark times when things were not looking up for me. Grateful for all the positive interactions on here. #Let'sTalk
 
Thank you for posting this. I've been struggling a lot recently, and have off and on for as long as I can remember. I think this is hugely important (as much as I myself need to be better about how I handle it). If anyone need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open.
 
Cruskater said:
Absolutely. I love this forum and by and large, it has kept me engaged and interested in some dark times when things were not looking up for me. Grateful for all the positive interactions on here. #Let'sTalk
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@Cruskater totally agree! #Let’sTalk
 
I think we all manifest emotions differently, but there's no hiding the reality of depression, anxiety, and the like.

Where I think many struggle to recognize, myself included, is that there's an internal chemical component that can be awry. You can't just magically wake up one day and match the happy of someone else, or the energy, or the blissful ignorance haha --- And sometimes that means taking supplements that support that balance, not unlike taking something for other deficiencies that are more... mainstream?

I went through some pretty heavy anxiety based challenges quite a few years ago, and have come out I believe on top using a number of methods, none of which included therapy which used to be the de-facto solution for something like that.

Hopefully anyone facing these challenges is willing to have a common sense conversation either with someone you trust, or a doctor (GP, not shrink) so you can get ahead of it, not get stuck behind it.
 
Canadan said:
I think we all manifest emotions differently, but there's no hiding the reality of depression, anxiety, and the like.

Where I think many struggle to recognize, myself included, is that there's an internal chemical component that can be awry. You can't just magically wake up one day and match the happy of someone else, or the energy, or the blissful ignorance haha --- And sometimes that means taking supplements that support that balance, not unlike taking something for other deficiencies that are more... mainstream?

I went through some pretty heavy anxiety based challenges quite a few years ago, and have come out I believe on top using a number of methods, none of which included therapy which used to be the de-facto solution for something like that.

Hopefully anyone facing these challenges is willing to have a common sense conversation either with someone you trust, or a doctor (GP, not shrink) so you can get ahead of it, not get stuck behind it.
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Well spoken Dan. And thanks for pointing that out - nobody wakes up and chooses to be depressed. It's no different than high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.; something in the balance of your system is off.

I've said it before and I will say it again here: I wouldn't wish the experience of depression on my worst enemy. It's horrible and nobody deserves to go through it. My intentions are not to make the thread about me, but if I can somehow use my experience to help another, you can be damn sure that's what I will do down to my last breath.

@GolferGal: how's the light working out for you? Apologies if you posted elsewhere - I missed it.
 
I can't love this post enough! My wife is a mental health counselor and sees the impact that mental health challenges make on her patients every single day. It doesn't matter what walk of life a person is in: rich, poor, bankers, teachers, athletes, CFO's, secretaries; it can impact anyone.

I would consider myself a very fortunate person who has lived a very easy and blessed life yet I still deal with some depression issues (thankfully not major). It makes no sense why I would have it but it's something that I am impacted by and can make some days tough.

I agree with the OP and would beg anyone that is impacted by it to reach out for help whether it be a mental health professional, family or heck even just shoot me a private message and I'd be more than happy to talk to you. It's a real issue that can make a person absolutely miserable and in my opinion is not discussed or spotlighted enough.
 
Junkyard said:
Well spoken Dan. And thanks for pointing that out - nobody wakes up and chooses to be depressed. It's no different than high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.; something in the balance of your system is off.

I've said it before and I will say it again here: I wouldn't wish the experience of depression on my worst enemy. It's horrible and nobody deserves to go through it. My intentions are not to make the thread about me, but if I can somehow use my experience to help another, you can be damn sure that's what I will do down to my last breath.

@GolferGal: how's the light working out for you? Apologies if you posted elsewhere - I missed it.
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I honestly don’t know. I forgot to use it a few mornings, but I did use it today. I can’t really say if when I’ve used it I have felt better, but I think the sample size is too small still.
 
Love love love this. I mentioned a little while back, but I had to go back into therapy in 2018 due to my anxiety and depression getting to the point where it was a bad problem. It had been coming on for years and I had a very bad time with a few public anxiety attacks letting me know it was time to get help. I wasn’t sleeping and it impacted me in every aspect of my life. I took a break from here (and about 12 other forums) and social media and the endless news cycle to try and calm my brain down. It was terrible.

I am so thankful that mental health and emotional well being are being discussed openly. It’s a struggle and sometimes people, especially men, feel that they have to hide things. I know I did. Everyone loves talking about the gym and getting fit - mental health is no different.

My DMs are always open for anyone who wants to talk.
 
Great post and thank you for having the courage to put it up. The last couple of years have been a nightmare for some and the stigma behind mental health is very real in some instances. I spent a long time being “just not myself today” and going through a nasty low swing in 2020 before admitting that I needed some help. VAC was amazing to work with, and the therapist I’ve been working with has slowly cracked the shell and helped me deal with a lot of stuff from my past. If your struggling with anything, there’s much better resources than I but please don’t hesitate to reach out and I can at least be an empathic ear and maybe help point you in the right direction.
 
Canadan said:
I think we all manifest emotions differently, but there's no hiding the reality of depression, anxiety, and the like.

Where I think many struggle to recognize, myself included, is that there's an internal chemical component that can be awry. You can't just magically wake up one day and match the happy of someone else, or the energy, or the blissful ignorance haha --- And sometimes that means taking supplements that support that balance, not unlike taking something for other deficiencies that are more... mainstream?

I went through some pretty heavy anxiety based challenges quite a few years ago, and have come out I believe on top using a number of methods, none of which included therapy which used to be the de-facto solution for something like that.

Hopefully anyone facing these challenges is willing to have a common sense conversation either with someone you trust, or a doctor (GP, not shrink) so you can get ahead of it, not get stuck behind it.
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MattyD-MPLS said:
I am glad you started this thread! THPers are family and I want to be there for all of you!
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A wise man once told me.... Many times in life we will have experiences that are too much for us to handle on our own. That's OKAY. It happens to all of us, every last one of us. It's how we respond to it, that makes us stronger.

He said, embrace your weakness in that moment and seek help from others to provide you the clarity you need. You'll be glad you did, and most of the tiem the people whom you reach out to, they'll be glad you did too.

Don't be embarrassed, you are human! No one expects you to be perfect, not even He who created you.

Definitely here for anybody who needs an ear!
 
I've often ignored and bottled up most of my emotions giving my work. Makes me kinda numb or seem tense all the time. That's really not the case as life experiences (work) lead me to some really dark times. Last year was tough, the Morgan Cup pulled me through it. I had something to look forward to. I set a resolution for myself at the start of this year. Really simple one. "Find yourself something."

Something to be involved in (THP is a major door opener for me) Play more golf with groups. (I'm often by myself) Avoid highly structured days off of work (my work isn't structured, its chaotic so why I live this way I don't know) Laugh at myself if nothing else is funny (I've done enough dumb in my day to laugh at myself fairly) Do something for a friend or neighbor. Teach a few of the classes I used to teach. Something to occupy life.

I was taught to not be sad or show emotion really other than to get mad and fight. I can talk myself right out of that at this point in my life. That has taught me that I don't have to be on the clock to help someone. I mean this whole-heartedly: IF SOMEONE ON HERE NEEDS HELP OR HAS A QUESTION, I'M HERE. I may even be up in the middle of the night. I treat friends with questions the same as I do patients. I won't speak to anyone else about it. It's your place, mind, thoughts, and concerns. Only thing I won't discuss is religion and I don't know anything about alcohol other than how to treat it.

I'm still searching for happy. But I'm a lot closer now than I was a year ago.
 
Junkyard said:
Well spoken Dan. And thanks for pointing that out - nobody wakes up and chooses to be depressed. It's no different than high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.; something in the balance of your system is off.

I've said it before and I will say it again here: I wouldn't wish the experience of depression on my worst enemy. It's horrible and nobody deserves to go through it. My intentions are not to make the thread about me, but if I can somehow use my experience to help another, you can be damn sure that's what I will do down to my last breath.

@GolferGal: how's the light working out for you? Apologies if you posted elsewhere - I missed it.
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One of the best quotes I've ever heard: "No one fakes being depressed. They fake being okay."
 
Great posts. I have had my own struggles. Much better when I finally was able to talk about it with my wife and doctor. If anyone ever thinks there is no help, please, PLEASE, PLEASE know that there is. Start with an anonymous phone call and go from there.
 
GolferGal said:
I honestly don’t know. I forgot to use it a few mornings, but I did use it today. I can’t really say if when I’ve used it I have felt better, but I think the sample size is too small still.
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Stick with it!
 
Triple Frak said:
Great posts. I have had my own struggles. Much better when I finally was able to talk about it with my wife and doctor. If anyone ever thinks there is no help, please, PLEASE, PLEASE know that there is. Start with an anonymous phone call and go from there.
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THIS is why I started this thread. This is such a true statement it hurts.
 
Great thread. Mental health challenges are more common than we think. Be understanding.
 
A couple things that have helped me on my journey:

1- If someone you open up to has the casual perspective of "just stop feeling that way" or "get over it" stop talking to them. That's like telling someone to stop thinking, or growing hair, or sweating, or telling someone to stop feeling hungry. Those people will NOT help you.

2- You are in full control of your situation, whether that means you need to gut it out, or get the hell out. What you're probably battling is something called "fight or flight" especially when it comes to anxiety - so if you start feeling that way, pick flight for a while. Get your butt out of that situation, even if it makes things more challenging. I remember being at a THP event before I really had it sorted out in Vegas, and we jumped on a bus to go to a casino. Buses are one of my triggers, and for about 15 minutes I was pretty sure I was either going to piss myself or die. I didn't do either, but there was no telling me at the time.

3- Talking about it in a positive way adds control to your side. When you stop becoming a victim of a condition, and start becoming more of a survivor of a condition, it makes it easier to deal with all the residual BS that comes with it (like the lingering thoughts/emotions). Use the people around you to create positive and supportive energy. If you are in a 'flight' moment, make sure your loved ones know what that means, and let you get the eff out - even if it costs you some fun.

4- Speak to your doctor about it, not a therapist. There are about a billion thought, pressure point, and breathing exercises out there that support anxiety and depression, however, in many cases it's just not that simple. I know pills and dependency are scary, but there are plenty out there that improve your balance, and don't turn you into a zombie... This isn't the freaking 1970s.

5- Check your daily routine. Make sure positivity is in the lead and negativity is as limited as possible. Consider what you're reading/watching/thinking/talking about when it gets bad, and the same when it gets good. I'll openly admit there are things I don't watch/do/etc because of how they put me mentally, ESPECIALLY during the winter.
 
Bell Lets Talk Day gets all the press, and for all the good it does, it needs to be Lets Talk Everyday.

Honestly, the past year has been hard. Big changes with a 2nd kid, being pushed back into being the primary caregiver (but now of two), changes at work, and really a lot of changes within our marriage. It has all taken a toll.

Pandemic has aggravated it, to the point that I really just don't know what to do with it. There is no off switch, there is no relief, there is no down-time. Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat.

It is probably 99.9% of the reason I am more MIA around here (not that I was super vocal before anyways). Just trying to deal with things, in whatever haphazard way that I can that day.
 
Good thread idea. Some really good stuff in here so far.
 
Thank you for this post. I lost a close friend to suicide many years ago and swore nobody would ever slip through the cracks again. This post is squarely in that spirit and I like / appreciate it.

This has been an extremely hard year personally. Not to be overly dramatic but there’s been some dark days and I just haven’t felt like myself in a long while. I recently made some changes for self improvement and have had other people comment on a more alive / vatalic version of me. It feels really good to start feeling better emotionally/mentally.
 
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