Dont ever try to carry that much on your own. Galatians 6:2
Things arent as heavy to carry when someone is helping you lift it
Mental Health: Make it a Priority
Things arent as heavy to carry when someone is helping you lift it
Love this. Last 2 and a half years have been a rollercoaster but that’s where I lean.
I sincerely get where you're coming from. I don't know that you need to quit caring, but, for me, getting out of the work environment where it was either step up or a patient can have a bad outcome was huge. ER, Cath lab, rapid response team. It was always the same.I decided earlier today that I’m no longer giving aabout most things. Doesn’t matter what I do or how much I give, the end result usually is something more is needed, well usually wanted. I’ve allowed my sole purpose to be others gain. Not anymore. Never again. I’ve stared darkness in the eye before many times. I’ll brighten it myself.
25 years was enough. Now I'm paid the same, and answer the phone for the VA in my basement with bankers hours.
Seriously consider making a move if you're burned out. It's awesome being in an environment where everything doesn't depend on me
It's amazing how quick or easily you can feel like a failure. "Why can't I snap out of this?" "You're letting your family down" "why are you so weak" "toughen up sissy" all sayings that have gone through my head....smh.
Very glad I stumbled onto this thread. Thank you
Very glad I stumbled onto this thread. Thank you
Same, I've apologized to my wife numerous times in the last X weeks.....
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I appreciate how open and supportive many THPers are about this topic. I'm not good at talking about mental health. I have struggled and worked hard for many years. It is an ongoing part of me. Took me a long to time to ask for help. I tried to will myself forward, a person others sought out for help. I had to stay strong. Well, learning to ask for help and actually accepting help -- not that I am particularly good at either -- have allowed me to find more balance and attenuate the ups and downs into a more manageable place. I'm not fixed, but I was also never broken. I had parts of me that I didn't know how to deal with, and now working on those is something I will do, I think, for the rest of my life. I don't know if any of this makes any sense. Basically to anyone else, you are not alone. I care very much.
Shifting the topic a bit. Golf is part of my mental health support approach. This awesome game helps me build new networks of friends and engage a larger community of people who share the passion. When I learned that golf is not a game of perfect (there's a book
), I realized I had a safe place to work on something that is very hard for me. Rather than fall apart over a bad shot, I am learning to enjoy taking on the recovery shot. This is a good life skill. I also love the context of golf. Ourdoors in nature. Shared experience with other people. Focus on the game while letting go of that larger social and existential junk. Golf is a delight. My life and health are better with golf.
Shifting the topic a bit. Golf is part of my mental health support approach. This awesome game helps me build new networks of friends and engage a larger community of people who share the passion. When I learned that golf is not a game of perfect (there's a book
), I realized I had a safe place to work on something that is very hard for me. Rather than fall apart over a bad shot, I am learning to enjoy taking on the recovery shot. This is a good life skill. I also love the context of golf. Ourdoors in nature. Shared experience with other people. Focus on the game while letting go of that larger social and existential junk. Golf is a delight. My life and health are better with golf. 
A family member has been grieving, lonely and depressed after the death of a spouse. The doc just prescribed anti-depressants. I hope they help…and I hope the difficult patient actually takes them
Keep being a support network for them, there are different categories of antidepressants and docs don’t always find the right one the first time, which can make things worse before they get better.
- Thread starter
- #109
Let's talk!
I'm not a professional but I think I can accurately say that in today's modern world we all carry around burdens that we shouldn't have to. And those burdens take a toll. It might be today, tomorrow or months from now but they eventually catch up to us. We have plenty of opportunities to hash things out/take a load off/see the signs. Take the opportunity - there's lots of good people hear willing to lend an ear!
We all know others around the world are dealing with it, but it really is amazing how truly hearing individual stories, and people being open with what they’re struggling with, can take away some of that feeling of being alone in this, or overwhelmed — that relief and comfort that others really do understand. It’s valuable. Someone was once talking about their struggles finding meds that would help, and I mentioned what I’ve gone through, you could practically see some of that overwhelming stress melt away and we talked for hours. It seemed clear that nobody in their life has every expressed that they really understood.
Appreciate you sharing your story. I get how things can build and build and build. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with some of those things, but hope the work change can bring some positives.
Keep an eye on your kiddos. I don’t remember the details perfectly but a recent study shows that something like over 30% of teens have clinically diagnosed mental health issues.
Made the first step today, my wife is a board member for a grief counselling foundation so I have reached out to them and have first 2 appointments booked.
My main mental issues are stemming from how rapidly my mothers early onset alzheimer's has progressed, how debilitating it is and me being half a world away and unable to help out in any way easily. I have this, probably irrational fear, that she won't make it to her 70th birthday this year.
My main mental issues are stemming from how rapidly my mothers early onset alzheimer's has progressed, how debilitating it is and me being half a world away and unable to help out in any way easily. I have this, probably irrational fear, that she won't make it to her 70th birthday this year.
contemplating a career change , and a move, at 50 has my anxiety is through the roof.
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A 15yo kid on my softball team quit the sport last week due to MH issues. Those issues are really impacted her ability to function in a normal capacity to do the things 15yo's are expected to do. I really hope she gets well soon.
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Had a long talk with my wife on the stuff I feel I need to do to improve my MH. The toughest for her to cope and understand is my need for solitude at times. Our life with three small kids is full of noise and hassle. And too long of that without personal time and space starts to mess with me. We're looking for ways to make this happen regularly.
Also have the first couples therapy session booked for next week.
Also have the first couples therapy session booked for next week.
- Thread starter
- #116
Taking the first step is usually the hardest. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, but I'm happy to hear that you're going to do something about it which will let you be a better person.
dhartmann34
Well-known member
That's a big one. I had the same feelings when I made a move like that about 4 years ago. I was in my 30's, but it was giving up a salary to a spot woth no salary or benefits. I really focused on why I wanted to make the switch and the good it would bring me. And while the first couple years weren't great, especially without the backing of some folks I thought I could count on, I can't imagine doing anything else now. It was the scariest and best thing I could have done. Wishing you the best!
dhartmann34
Well-known member
It's so hard for that personal time not only with yourself, but just you and your spouse as well. I've gone through the same the past couple of years, especially after child number two. It's almost like losing an identity and self. I'm not sure I'm really succeeding greatly... But we're both doing our best. Here's hoping you get things in a spot that work for you..
This post is great , as men we are taught we are the strong ones and need to be that constantly. But life is not all happiness and joy 24/7/365, at times it may be down right tough and scary.
The past couple of years for me , have been lots of positive things but also some very dark dark days. A couple of times I almost ended it, was this close to saying goodbye. Something inside me told me to keep fighting and keep going. Last year I lost my uncle, father is law and best friend is a matter of 3 weeks. That drove me to a breaking point where I was thinking the S word.
Right now,I am looking forward to a new start as I will be returning to school shortly and also have a daughter on the way. But everytime I see a positive happy time or a move forward , seem to get something bad happen to me. Like the day I was accepted into school, not 1 hour later I found out my grandmother had Covid and is extremely sick.
The only thing pushing me forward is my daughter, starting school again to gain knowledge to better myself and keep striving to improve on that. A change of scenery as well, after I finish my schooling I will be moving back to Toronto or Quebec with my friends. Have made some connections already in terms of job opportunities in the future look forward to that as well
The past couple of years for me , have been lots of positive things but also some very dark dark days. A couple of times I almost ended it, was this close to saying goodbye. Something inside me told me to keep fighting and keep going. Last year I lost my uncle, father is law and best friend is a matter of 3 weeks. That drove me to a breaking point where I was thinking the S word.
Right now,I am looking forward to a new start as I will be returning to school shortly and also have a daughter on the way. But everytime I see a positive happy time or a move forward , seem to get something bad happen to me. Like the day I was accepted into school, not 1 hour later I found out my grandmother had Covid and is extremely sick.
The only thing pushing me forward is my daughter, starting school again to gain knowledge to better myself and keep striving to improve on that. A change of scenery as well, after I finish my schooling I will be moving back to Toronto or Quebec with my friends. Have made some connections already in terms of job opportunities in the future look forward to that as well
Glad you're still here! Those are scary moments, when you're that close to ending it. And at least for me, it's hard to shake the knowledge that it was in my head.
Really good to hear you have things to look forward to, as those keep eyes and mind forward, not back. Thanks for sharing!
What else pushed me forward, knowing life is beautiful after your gone no more enjoying nature, golf or time with family and friends. Rainy days will always come after but after the wonderful sun comes out and refreshes everything again.
Same here, always remember we are in a better place then the dark side. Downs are usually only temporary , the time will always arise to make it well worth it again.
Just keep showing up. Glad you made it through some dark times. And appreciate you sharing your story.
Thank you, I almost did not post it. Then I thought maybe there a member who is going through something similar. Having a person who shares a similar story , helps on the road to recovery. People smile or hide though the pain, think nobody cares or has felt this.
Unfortunately it is more common then we think. We are all in this together
Unfortunately it is more common then we think. We are all in this together
I don’t know what I say will help. I often struggle like many. There have had some really dark times in my life. I always hold on to the fact that there will be good times ahead. As bad as some days/weeks/months have been, there always seem to be good times that follow. God bless and always talk to someone. Message me anytime if you want. Even if you just want to vent and don’t want an answer, just shoot me a message anytime.
Same to you
