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Help me help my wife!

oiler3535

oiler3535

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Help please. I want my wife to play more with me, but she is easily frustrated and I can't seem to help her. She hits it great off the tee, but always tops it outside the tee box. It's because she stands up as she begins her downswing, and nothing I say or do gets her to stay down. The only time she stays down is when she's around the green and only taking a partial swing.

The best advice I've gotten so far is to just let her tee up every shot, and then over time have her lower the tee bit by bit until she doesn't need it. Any other advice?
 
if she stays down on partial swings around the green, have her take partial swings on the fairways as well, I will do that sometimes when I lose my swing. Bring the club back to 9:00 and end at 3:00. Keeping her eye on the ball the entire time.
 
Have her take a couple lessons. Better yet, do semi-private lessons for the two of you. That's what my wife and I did.

The tee thing is a great idea for now. Jacqui did that for a while too.
 
Get her hooked up with a qualified teacher. I NEVER ever give swing advice to my wife. Just never works. Better for her to hear it from someone else. JMO of course.
 
HoosierGolfer said:
Get her hooked up with a qualified teacher. I NEVER ever give swing advice to my wife. Just never works. Better for her to hear it from someone else. JMO of course.
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Absolutely, positively NEVER try to give advice to your wife. Unless she is the sweetest, nicest person on the planet!!! My wife would sometimes align 45* off or more for some of her shots. If I even cleared my throat to help her with her alignment, she would rip my head off! Now, when her father would give advice or even physically move her, she accepted his help.

I solved my dilemma by getting her 10 lessons with a pro and a ladies league!
 
Lessons, lessons, lessons. From experience you should save from giving lessons. let her do her own thing. If you tell her to try something and change her swing and it does not work, well . . . it is your fault. Not good for you.
 
As a gift, get her Bobby Clampett's The Impact Zone. She may start focusing on a point in front of the ball. I got mine from Amazon.
 
I'm honestly in the same boat. Bought my wife a set of decent ladies clubs and we went out a few times a week with a friend of mine who is a PGA Professional. Nothing worked, if anything, she really stopped trying this last time and I kind of gave up. Persevere, I hope you come out better than I did.
 
qualified coach and maybe get in her in women's league... practice is all it will take
 
I'm anxious to hear some of the women's thoughts on this, they would certainly be more qualified to discuss what their thought are. I can tell you what not to do, never try and instruct them in front of other players on the course, especially if you're not qualified to teach them, for me it was a disaster and a valuable lesson learned. Lol!!
 
Father Frost said:
I'm honestly in the same boat. Bought my wife a set of decent ladies clubs and we went out a few times a week with a friend of mine who is a PGA Professional. Nothing worked, if anything, she really stopped trying this last time and I kind of gave up. Persevere, I hope you come out better than I did.
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But was he an instructor? Or just a pro? They don't necessarily go hand in hand, or the pros wouldn't need swing coaches, they could teach themselves or each other.
 
I think there are a lot of things that can help women get interested in golf. I've posted this before, but helping your wife get something that she's psyched to used might help. I'm an accessories person (new ball marker, cool new ball (I like white, but some women like pink or blue), new headcover). Some people (like a lot of men) are gear heads, some women like new golf bags or new shoes or a new shirt or visor. Getting her excited to try the new product she has purchased or that you got for her is a good step so that she's excited to go out.

Once you're out there though, it's a different story! I found golf incredibly frustrating on the course, but thoroughly enjoyable on the range. When I went home to visit my parents, I would go to the range every night with my dad after dinner. I learned from my dad, took lessons from two pros (over a 3 year period at different times) and for the most part golfed with my parents (while in my early 20s - I'm 35 now). My mom always was super encouraging. In the beginning, I teed it up on EVERY shot, using my 7 iron (no other club). There is no rush to get rid of that tee! I don't think your wife needs to feel pressure to take it down further and further. As she plays more, she'll find her swing, make better contact, gain more confidence, etc. Also, she can practice hitting off the ground at the range and work on it then. She can decide when she wants to push down the tee more. If it makes her more confident and happy to put every shot on a high tee, I say go for it. I did it for about a year. Also, I never counted strokes. I picked up when I got frustrated and just rode in the cart and looked at nature. Appreciating the wildlife and fauna are still two of my most favorite things to do on the course, esp when I get frustrated. It's hard to golf with people who take the game really seriously and when my dad would give me pointers, I would get more frustrated. I can remember hitting my 7 iron, trying to hit another shot, topping it, picking up, getting to the green and just putting with my parents. It feels nice to hole-out, so maybe you could do something like that or just let her decide if she wants to. Also, even if the ball only goes 60 yards, but goes really high (popped up), it still feels WAY better to hit that shot than to top it and make it go 50 yards on a roll - so again the tee can be a good friend to your wife.

Taking lessons helped a lot. My instructor gave me a lot of drills that I could always fall back on to try to find my 7-iron swing again. I still use the drills to this day. 1/2 swings were my saviors. I'd just keep taking it down, even if it was a chip to make solid contact. Then I would just walk to my next hit and smack it again. When I get tired, I just picked up. No big deal. I also still do this. At the Outing, I picked up a few times when I was rushed and not playing well. I'm very mellow about the game and my score - as my priority is just to have fun and enjoy myself, regardless of whether I'm playing well or not.

Hope some of this helps. GOOD LUCK!!
 
If she's having trouble keeping her head down this trick may help. I turn my ball around so the brand is facing up and I stare at that. Or, you can write or place a dot on the ball with a marker. Tell her to keep starring at the brand name or dot on the ball. It really helps when focus is off.
 
Smallville said:
But was he an instructor? Or just a pro? They don't necessarily go hand in hand, or the pros wouldn't need swing coaches, they could teach themselves or each other.
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He was an instructor before he joined the Army (long story haha). Didn't seem to make a difference. I think the underlying issue is/was that she didn't like that golf isn't something that you can play well at with little effort.
 
As a female whose husband is a great golfer I would highly suggest lessons. Having your spouse tell you what you are doing wrong just makes you feel like a failure. At least it does to me. I know JB means well and just wants to see me getting better but every time he tells me what I am doing wrong, I feel like a failure and like I am letting him down. Then I get frustrated, hit a bad shot, yell at him and never want to play this frustrating game again.

However, if my instructor tells me I am doing something wrong (even if it's the same thing JB told me) I will listen. I will believe him, listen to him and do my best to fix it. Unless I ask for help from JB, all I want are words of encouragement when I do something correctly. My coach can yell at me all day long and I won't mind a bit.
 
Canio said:
Absolutely, positively NEVER try to give advice to your wife. Unless she is the sweetest, nicest person on the planet!!! My wife would sometimes align 45* off or more for some of her shots. If I even cleared my throat to help her with her alignment, she would rip my head off! Now, when her father would give advice or even physically move her, she accepted his help.

I solved my dilemma by getting her 10 lessons with a pro and a ladies league!
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She doesn't want lessons until she can hit it somewhat. Luckily, she is the sweetest girl ever, and always asks for help. If I let her hit 2 bad shots in a row without saying something she won't shoot again until i say something lol.
 
Hankster said:
If she's having trouble keeping her head down this trick may help. I turn my ball around so the brand is facing up and I stare at that. Or, you can write or place a dot on the ball with a marker. Tell her to keep starring at the brand name or dot on the ball. It really helps when focus is off.
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Good advice for me lol, but for her, she keeps her head down fine, but stands up during her downswing. She straightens her hips and knees while keeping her eyes facing the ball.
 
I second everyone that suggested lessons...even if she thinks she's not ready for them yet. Find a good pro and she'll (and you) will be very thankful. I went through this and it wasn't until after the 3rd lesson I took my wife to play and now she wants to play every week if not more. This was only about 14 months ago and she's as hooked as any of us on here.
 
What about a group beginner's women lesson. The course I play at did that. The idea was to literally build a swing one step at a time, over 4 weeks. Each week lengthened the swing a little. It's gotten a lot of great praise from the women who participated, and I know they had a few 'first timers' who had never hit a ball before in their life.
 
Group lessons are cheaper, but the problem I see with them is that if there are six people, you only really get a few minutes one-on-one time. Semi-private lessons cost more, but she would get much more time with the teacher. And, you get some help too.
 
The BF and I take lessons together. Well sort of, our instructor splits his time between the two of us. NEVER give her advice unless you want to start a fight. The BF learned this the hard way. Also, it helps to play with other couples. She wont feel so intimidated :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Smallville said:
Have her take a couple lessons. Better yet, do semi-private lessons for the two of you. That's what my wife and I did.
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10000% agreed !
I set up some lessons like this for the wife and I.
Now she is as much as a golf addict as I am.
 
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