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In Harms' Way

Esox

Esox

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Well I hope not. I'm playing my first President's Cup match today at my new to me club against a gentleman with the last name of Harms. He's an older man, smooth swinger, good fundamentals, around a 7 'cap. He's a short hitter, but an excellent putter. Generally sports a soft safari type hat. Since they have me playing at my "tournament" scores handicap, he's going to have to give me one stroke.

I played my first ever men's club event with him in my group. Great guy. We tee off at 11:00. It's been ages since I played a match in a tournament or wasn't just a friendly money game, and I'm pretty jacked up for this. Kind of laid in bed thinking how I might play each hole. Of course it had to rain for the last 24 hours so the course will be a swamp. But it's a glorious day today.

So I head out today to put myself in Harms' way. Me as Rockwell Torrey, Mrs. Esox as Maggie Haynes, and Mr. Harms as the Yamoto. I hope I turn him back, but don't lose a leg in the end.

Kevin
 
You should put together a cast and make this into a movie...hehe

Good luck Esox.
 
Great stuff Esox, go get'em. The following report should be an epic thriller!
 
take no prisoners kevin! but most importantly have a great time, and focus on your goals for the day! good luck. i predict a 3 & 2 victory for you.
 
I am showered, shaved, and slathered in sun screen. Whoops, better put on some pants. Then I'm off to the course. Thanks for the support.

Kevin
 
Esox said:
I am showered, shaved, and slathered in sun screen. Whoops, better put on some pants. Then I'm off to the course. Thanks for the support.

Kevin
Click to expand...

If you go with no pants, perhaps you can distract him...haha
 
JB said:
If you go with no pants, perhaps you can distract him...haha
Click to expand...

No shirt would be worse.

Leave me alone, I have to go! LOL

See you later, THPgators.

Kevin
 
Good luck and play your game.
 
tear him up kevin!!
 
Representing the Hackers of THP! Go Kevin!
 
lol great read Kevin, now go kick harms butt!
 
Good luck Kevin!
 
Well, I got to the course an hour early this morning in order to hit some balls and do a little putting. Our course layout includes a number of ponds and a creek system that winds its way through the front nine and into a wetland area that backs the range. After yesterday's rain, I knew it was going to be a bit puddingesque, but not so sloppy the range would be closed. So I couldn't hit balls to warm up. Scotty was recently let out of the house after a two week grounding for getting sassy. I was going to do some srious putting, but I putted so well for five minutes that I quit. There's never a need for me to start thinking I know what the hell I'm doing. I went back into the club house and flirted with Amy the manager for about five minutes, went to the locker room and stared at the Presidents Cup and Best Ball brackets for about five minutes, went back to the putting green, sat in my cart, and watched some older gentleman in a knee brace putt for five minutes, then I swinged my driver on and off for five minutes. Wheeeee!

Then my opponent arrived and it got all serious. We complained about not being able to hit balls because we're both old. For about five minutes. I watched him putt for five minutes, then we teed off early. As I stated earlier, they have been using my "tournament" scores, of which there aren't many, to handicap me. They do this for the men's club to discourage sandbagging, but in my case it was making me feel like a sandbagger because my 'cap on the WSGA books is six. I decided to play Mr. Harms as a six, though within club rules I could have played at eight. Anyway, I gave him a stroke.

On the very first hole he glanced one off my bow to go one up. I pulled even on the fifth after sticking a 9i to nine feet and two putting for par. He got another one on the next hole, a par five, to go back up. That was his stroke hole, and I chunked two wedges after being next to the green in two shots. We halved the next two with him getting up and down for par, while I missed birdie putts on both holes from inside fifteen feet. Front nine ends with me one down.

I decided to to take the next two off, though no one told me why. We won't speak about how I played those two, but it was not sexy and appealing. So I'm three down after eleven and feel like he's really stuck a couple of heavy shells into my stern. I'm a tad puckered. We halve the par five 12th. Thank you casual water rule, that was nice.

Then I decided to stick a couple cruise missiles into his deck. Par three, he misses the green and makes bogey, I almost drop a 40 footer for bird and make par. Two down. Next hole he hits the bunker next to the green with his approach, hits out, and misses his putt. I'm sitting six feet above the hole after dropping a 9i right on the flag. He's in in five, I tap my putt to avoid going by, leaving a gimme for par. One down. The next hole he hits his approach left/over, then chips it to a foot. I drain a 20 footer from the fringe for bird. All square. He's starting to look kind of disappointed.

So we have three left. The 16th is a dogleg par five and it's wet. We both hit drives into the left rough, his shorter. He pulls a FW left, swears loudly, and throws his club all the way across the fairway. LOL. That was a surprise. I push my next shot left up on a little hill. I do not throw my club. He finds the greenside bunker, I hit a 9i, I enjoyed the 9i today, that almost lands in the hole and ends up above the hole five feet away. He's in in six so I tap the putt to within an inch or two and make par. I'm one up after taking the last four holes.

On 17, a par three, I'm feeling pretty good about things and decide to skull an 8i about halfway to the green. He hits the green way above the hole, is a little tentative with the first putt, but then drains a down hill six footer to take us back to all square. On 18 he pushed his drive way right then punches out to in front of the green. I'm just in the rough on the right and hit a 9i about 12 feet past. Note to self, stay below the hole moron. He leaves himself an eight foot really quick slider, I two putt for par, and damned if he doesn't drain that one to halve the hole.

Overtime, baby! 1st hole. 420ish uphill par four with a creek crossing the fairway 240 out. We both lay up, he's in the rough at about 210. I am in the middle of the fairway at 200. He tops a FW into the creek, slams the club into the ground, loses his grip on it and it somehow bounces back into his shin. I could hear it hit bone. There are four pot bunkers along the left side of this green which is at the top of a steep hill. Being a thinking man's golfer, and knowing he's next hitting his fourth shot, I put the hybrid in my hands back in my bag, and calmly stroke a 5i that goes clunk, left, and about 150 yards. The quality of that shot must have really shaken him. He hits into a big tree right of the green and pops out short right in front. He's sitting at four, I'm two and 40 yards out with those stinking bunkers in front of me. I've never liked pot bunkers. It's hard to get out of them. I hit a little flip 52* with plenty on it that ends up five feet over the green on wet dirt. The green slopes away. He's pretty discouraged, and hits a so-so chip that leaves him another side hill quick putt. About 12 feet.

He drains it for double.

Before his putt I managed to twitch just enough to get my ball on the green about six feet away and slightly downhill. I need to make it to win. I tap the little bastard, and it looks like it's going left, but slows slightly, makes a tiny turn, almost stops, and falls in on the left side of the cup. I look at him, he smiles, and says, "you've been tapping those for the last nine holes, you deserved one to fall. Even if it was the side of the cup." We both burst out laughing.

1 up. 19th hole. What a blast. He was a great playing partner and opponent, not withstanding the out of the blue club throw, and the shin basher on the extra hole. We might play a couple events as partners.

If you read all this I question your sanity, or admire your commitment to the THP Forum.

Kevin
 
I read all that only to be teased and made fun of at the end. But its ok because your name is Kevin. I hate when I cant warm up before a round, gives me false hope that my swing might be good that day!
 
Very NICE KEVIN! YOU MADE THAT CLUTCH PUTT! That aboy! Your 1-0.
 
So now that the match is over and the script has been written....Who play Esox.
 
Nice work! It sounds like you had a fun, successful outing.
 
Esox said:
If you read all this I question your sanity, or admire your commitment to the THP Forum.
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Why!? That was a good read! Thanks for posting. And congrats!
 
Thainer21 said:
CONGRATS Esox. I knew youd pull it out. Whos next for team THP?
Click to expand...

To be determined.

JB said:
So now that the match is over and the script has been written....Who play Esox.
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John Candy. Wait, that's not going to work. I guess we need to run some auditions.

Kevin
 
woo hoo the story lived up to the hype! I waited all day to read this and it was well worth it! great stuff Kevin and major props on beating Harms way!
 
Esox said:
To be determined.



John Candy. Wait, that's not going to work. I guess we need to run some auditions.

Kevin
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THis is the internet, home of the 430 yard drives with a blade 2 iron. Your supposed say someone like Andy Garcia...haha
 
John-Goodman.jpg




JB said:
So now that the match is over and the script has been written....Who play Esox.
Click to expand...
 
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