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Golf vs. Marriage - The Dilemma

Honestly a clear discussion seems like the only option. Understand how important your attendance is for the gala, and make it clear how important the trip is to you, and then sort it out together.
 
Golf trip. When I miss stuff like that, my wife says she has a better time anyway.
 
I would really struggle to cancel on an annual trip for a single event, unless it was something truly significant.

6th year, and it was already scheduled. I'd hope she wouldn't just encourage you, she'd make you go.
 
lazychicken said:
I'm enjoying the responses!!

Just want to point some of you back to the first sentence I wrote in the original post:

"Let me start by clarifying, I've been married long enough to know the right answer here. I'm just venting about the problem because you all will understand. :)"

Of course I'm going to go to the gala. I'm happily married and we always support each other. Not to mention, this non-profit is enormously important to me as well. So no way I'm skipping it. But that doesn't mean I can't be annoyed that it is occurring on my golf trip weekend!! :)

To answer one of the questions, I think this is my 6th year for the golf trip.

I actually might be able to work out going to around half of the golf trip and still get back in time for the gala. We'll see how it works out!
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My opinion
You're making the right choice here. Absolutely stay for the gala. Figure it's an investment. She'll be happy with you, you'll get some credit, then you can cash it in at a later date.
Love all the answers in this thread tho! HAHA
 
IMO if you've been doing this trip for years, and your wife is the founder/ Ex Dir that she would have known about said trip and scheduled around it?

I understand if it's the only availability for a big donor or what not though.

Your idea of doing both sounds like a win win, then the following week you should take another golf trip because you can.

Full disclosure, I am also one asks for forgiveness vs permission from my wife.
 
Our shared calendar is king in my household. I get that event on the calendar first I'm in the clear. O what a wedding that day? Too bad sweet heart, I got it on the calendar first.
 
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whats funny is this is not the first thread in THP history that has had such a title.
 
no doubt i would be on the trip but my wife would not mind that at all
 
This is a great opportunity to see where you marriage is. Go on the trip, if she isn't angry then you know you guys are doing great. If she is angry than either she is right and you are a selfish jerk, or she is wrong and doesn't respect you/your plans and either way you split up and you don't have to worry about her schedule interfering with golf going forward.

Seriously, if the event is a big deal to her you should really ask again and see if she truly wants you to go. For me if it was a company event and my wife had other plans I would tell her to go do her thing and not give it another thought. I don't know that my wife would feel the same way.
 
100% you are going to end up at the gala. It is what it is. Ask your buddies to shift the golf event, because as they know, it is what it is.
 
My wife would actually want me to go on the trip. Your mileage may vary. Is there any reason you should be there other than it's your wife's event? Do you do anything or are you just arm candy?

I would go, but again YMMV.
 
Tough one but one thing I’ve learned over 15 years with my wife:

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If it were my wife and she said that she meant it. But everyone knows their spouse the best, but I'd take her at her word.
 
Absolutely a trap... But still go on your trip... I’ve learned to ask for forgiveness rather than permission... Good luck...


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Further to my last post. Honestly I think you’re the best judge. You know your wife. You have to make that call. We offer opinion but we don’t know you guys.
I’ve organized boys golf weekend the last 7 years. It always falls on my kids school spring carnival. She knew it was important. This is my oldest girl’s last year at that school. This year I’ve moved the event to the fall. I think a little give and take is the key.
 
I agree with many here, only you know your wife. If my wife told me to go I would go, if she told me she would like me to stay I would stay, but we know each other extremely well and know what's important, she would never ask me to miss my golf trip unless she really needed me.
 
Man up
 
I'll chime in with the folks here - I think only you can answer this one. I know for a fact that if my wife gives me the go ahead to do something, it's not going to be a "trap". I wouldn't trust a bunch of randos on the internet with this decision.

What's your "role" at this fundraiser? Is she going around talking to a bunch of folks and trying to get some donations? Do you usually volunteer and help with something? If not, she might be busy enough where you not being there doesn't really make a big difference, so she's being sincere. But again, not my place to say.
 
Answering this question properly would require knowing your wife. If my wife said that, she'd mean it. We don't do traps.

If she has set traps for you before, then this is definitely a trap. :D
 
BigDill said:
100% you are going to end up at the gala. It is what it is. Ask your buddies to shift the golf event, because as they know, it is what it is.
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Ask your friends to change the date of an annual golf trip for something your wife has going on??? Again I know it’s different for me because I am single but come on man


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Take the guys trip.

then

Take the wife on a trip soon after.

Win.Win
 
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