If two vegans get into a fight, is it still considered a beef?
The dad joke thread
Kinda like hair from the dogs that bit you!!! :laughing::laughing::laughing:
Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is like?
No sun. :laughing:
No sun. :laughing:
What do you call a dog with a bomb?
A Terrier-ist….
A Terrier-ist….
My wife said, “I don’t really understand the science behind human cloning.” I said, “That makes two of us.”
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore. She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
I think I'm going to sue my local fishmonger for selling undersize shellfish...
I have to go to Small Clams Court.
I have to go to Small Clams Court.
Did you hear the one about the chameleon who couldn't change color?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Where do you take a person who has been in a peak a boo accident?
The I see U
The I see U
- Joined
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Probably been on here before, but always like it.
Father takes his daughter to the practice green. He lets her use his prized $300 dollar putter while working on his chipping.
After some missed putts, his daughter tells him "for $300, this thing doesn't make many putts".
Father takes his daughter to the practice green. He lets her use his prized $300 dollar putter while working on his chipping.
After some missed putts, his daughter tells him "for $300, this thing doesn't make many putts".
Do you know why you should always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
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Becasue there could be a salad dressing.
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Becasue there could be a salad dressing.
No matter how kind you are, german children are kinder.
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I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone five times in a row! Apparently, I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts!!!
I am worried about the calendar,
It's days are numbered.
It's days are numbered.
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?
He was given two consecutive sentences.
He was given two consecutive sentences.
How did I know that my road worker father was stealing on the job?
All the signs were there when I got home.
All the signs were there when I got home.
Do you know why elephants paint their toenails green? It is so they can hide on a pool table.
Ever seen an elephant on a pool table? No? Works, doesn't it.
Ever seen an elephant on a pool table? No? Works, doesn't it.
Why do people in Athens hate getting up in the morning? Because, Dawn is tough on Greece!
How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? "You follow the fresh prints.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.