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Wife cutting down golf

Barberakb said:
No there's no time off. But come on. Some wives are grumpy no matter what...
What would all these parents do if heaven forbid their spouse had to leave and they had to take care of everything all the time all by themselves???
It happens everyday in the military. Men and Women leave everything behind and deploy for up to a year to serve their country.
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Indeed, without a choice, you deal with it. However, you don't spend a lot of time doing things for yourself in that situation.

But when there are two parents, it is certainly not fair for one to say "you get all the kid duty - I'm going golfing." Thus, a trade is the fair way to work things out.
 
I know, I agree with that.
I'm just saying if people do it all the time EVERYDAY once a week is nothing.
 
I have two step daughters so I play when they are at the other house about once a week... BUT, we have one coming at the end of January, and as awesome as my wife has been about me playing every week, I am sure it will slow down a bit and I am ok with it. I love being at home with the kids honestly and encourage her to get out when she can for her time. I agree with the others who have said it... You have to give a bit to get a bit. Can't blame her for wanting a little help though.
 
Jericho said:
So I got into a little heated argument over the weekend with the wife. For the last few years I've averaged a round a week with a second once in a while. This year we had a child (now 7 months old). Since her birth I've all but given up practicing and am averaging about 1 round every 3 weeks. All along I had [vocal] envisions of going back to playing weekly once the baby was 6 months and more independent. This weekend I brought up the irony of the fact that I actually haven't played a round SINCE she turned 6 months. Long story short, the wife thinks that a 5 hour round (gone for 5 hours total) once per week is extremely overboard for having a 7 month old. She has no problem with every other week but not every week.

What makes matters more difficult (for me) is that my best friend and his wife had a baby 6 weeks before us yet he still plays every week, sometimes twice.

I realize that there is no good solution that will magically make her change her mind, and that every one's family is different but I guess I just wanted to vent, and maybe hear if anyone had a similar situation and if it ever improved.

Thanks
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ur the man, tell her what's what and golf when u want to








disclaimer: I'm divorced (but I'm happy & golf 3-4 X week) ?
 
You are very fortunate to be able to golf even once every 2 weeks. Would she feel the same way if you booked 6am tee times? I think that would make it easier on her.
 
Well ,my last round of golf this year was Memorial Day weekend . I played 9 rounds this year , and played some of my best golf in over a decade . So yes , our time is limited , but when I was out there I treated every shot as my last . I focused like I was in the masters . Now , I hit an impact bag and chip and lob in the back yard . Golf is what you make of it , you don't have to actually play golf on a course to be a golfer . Grab a shag bag and go to a quiet park and chip around once or twice a week . As long as you/ we keep on touch with the game than that is all that matters . Not how many rounds did I play

family first , and our children are only young once . Enjoy them and don't be selfish , golf will always be there for us
 
KellyBo said:
This thread makes me chuckle. Everyone and every relationship is so different. Asking a bunch of golf junkies for their opinion on this is like you said her asking a bunch of her friends for their opinion was biased. I sure hope you can find a good solution because there are good arguments both ways. My son is going through this a bit after having his first and expecting another. It will be interesting how it goes after his second one gets here. Luckily he owns his own business and is able to play every Thursday while his daughter is in school and wife is at work. He still has away golf trips with the guys on occasion but always reciprocates by giving her time away and even buys her day trips to the spa as a reward. Keeps her happy and lets him play.

Getting old is not so bad. No kids to worry about, you beg them to go play so you get them out of your hair, and you can even go play with the gals like I just did. Your day will come.
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I'm going to have to start cutting down ya golfing time. :alien: KellyBo played Monday, Wednesday, and is heading out again this after noon :D. I'm jealous because the weather is heading towards the prime (imo) Fall golfing season with beautiful golfing days and I'm stuck with a broken arse :angry:
 
drp3434 said:
5 hours isn't unrealistic. So you're saying, besides work I'm assuming, you never spend more than 5 hours separated from your wife and kids?
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Sorry, wasn't ignoring your question, shouldn't fire off hot opinions before boarding a 16 hour slight to Sydney!

At 46 yes I do, when I had little one's home in diapers, no I didn't. I'm a wants and needs guy, I want to golf but I don't need to.
 
This thread reinforces my feeling on never remarrying. It was like being sent to prison with less sex.
 
Blazer said:
This thread reinforces my feeling on never remarrying. It was like being sent to prison with less sex.
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A frigging men good sir. Constantly amazed at people who get married over & over. We had this conversation with Dfw group in drive back from golf retreat last weekend
 
Ok, now that the thread is showing some sarcastic humor I'll throw in a couple classic wife jokes in good fun:)

Joke #1
Husband finds out his lottery ticket won :) and calls his wife
Husband - "hey, its me, I hit the lottery, get the suit cases and start packing":banana:
Wife - "OMG WOW!,:banana: ok but what should I pack? , summer clothes?, winter clothes?, where are we going?
Husband - " I don't give a dam what you pack, just don't be home when I get there" :banana:


Joke #2
your dog and your wife are yelling and barking at the back door because they are locked out of the house.
Question - Which one do you let in??
Answer- the dog, because once he's in he'll shut up:D
 
Haven't been on the site in a while but thought I'd update this. The wife and I have had some BIG time arguments regarding this and long story short...I bribed my way into more golf. I knew she wanted to redecorate the living room before the baby's 1st bday party. One weekend morning I unexpectedly pulled into the furniture store and gave her 2 options: 1) we go in and buy stuff...and I get to golf more, or 2) we go home. She took the bait and I now happily golf 3 out of 4 weekends. It has helped that the baby is older now (15 months) and is much easier to deal with than when she was an infant. Also, I have adjusted the time I play to cut down on the time I'm away. Early tee times are great. Last week I started at 7 am and finished by 8:57. I think the wife has finally seen how miserable I am when she limits my one hobby. It's been give and take. On weekends I don't play, we'll go to the beach (I HATE the beach, and she LOVES it) so basically we've learned to compromise and everyone is happy.

I was planning to take this weekend off from golf but realized I have to work next weekend, so I asked if I could play again and her response "yes of course". One of the drawbacks is I'm playing as a single more because my playing partners have issues with when/where I play. One of them is a partier and refuses to play that early. The other will only play courses on the higher end of the price spectrum and a 7am tee time for $30 doesn't meet his minimum standards.

Oh well, I'm finding my game has elevated 10 fold. I haven't shot above a 79 in a month :)

The wife wants kiddo #2 but at least this time I'm entering into this as a business agreement and will have rules laid out ahead of time.

Stay tuned
 
Congrats on working out a good solution for both. What's the old saying a successful negotiation is when neither side wins.

Im sure you'll be meeting some new golf partners soon enogh. Be aware, they usually have clubs that are at least a decade old, don't drove it much past 175 yards but never miss a fairway and chip lights out and live in the 70's and low 80's. :)
 
Jericho said:
Haven't been on the site in a while but thought I'd update this. The wife and I have had some BIG time arguments regarding this and long story short...I bribed my way into more golf. I knew she wanted to redecorate the living room before the baby's 1st bday party. One weekend morning I unexpectedly pulled into the furniture store and gave her 2 options: 1) we go in and buy stuff...and I get to golf more, or 2) we go home. She took the bait and I now happily golf 3 out of 4 weekends. It has helped that the baby is older now (15 months) and is much easier to deal with than when she was an infant. Also, I have adjusted the time I play to cut down on the time I'm away. Early tee times are great. Last week I started at 7 am and finished by 8:57. I think the wife has finally seen how miserable I am when she limits my one hobby. It's been give and take. On weekends I don't play, we'll go to the beach (I HATE the beach, and she LOVES it) so basically we've learned to compromise and everyone is happy.

I was planning to take this weekend off from golf but realized I have to work next weekend, so I asked if I could play again and her response "yes of course". One of the drawbacks is I'm playing as a single more because my playing partners have issues with when/where I play. One of them is a partier and refuses to play that early. The other will only play courses on the higher end of the price spectrum and a 7am tee time for $30 doesn't meet his minimum standards.

Oh well, I'm finding my game has elevated 10 fold. I haven't shot above a 79 in a month :)

The wife wants kiddo #2 but at least this time I'm entering into this as a business agreement and will have rules laid out ahead of time.

Stay tuned
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Good for you for finding a solution. Yeah, the early tee times impact who we play with. It might also teach us that we like our friends but love the game :)
 
Kids can definitely cut into your golf but it doesn't last forever. When my first was born my golf went from 80+ rounds a year to about 50. With my second that dropped to about 35-40. When my 3rd child arrived I started coaching and it dropped to about 25-35 rounds a year but my wife works full time and I also bike, hunt, and also ski about 35+ days a year. Now that I've go a couple in high school and a 5th grader I'm on pace for about 85+ rounds this year.
 
I played very sparingly the first year after my daughter was born. A lot had to do with the fact that I was a stay at home dad and had little energy for anything other than sleep. I did start playing again after she turned 2, but then got derailed by spinal fusion. Once she turned 3 I started playing about once a week and there were definitely A LOT of arguments/discussions around the amount of golf I was playing. We eventually reached a compromise where I would do my best to golf early (like 6a tee times) and try to minimize the number of rounds that started after 8a. That allowed me to golf and still left enough of the day to go do family stuff. That changed once my wife started traveling a lot for work and I was essentially given carte blanche to golf whenever I wanted as long as we didn't have something planned.

Now I play at least 27 holes a week and life is good. I do have a friend that has a 3 year old and a 1 year old and his wife hasn't really let him golf more than once a month, if at all.
 
I've found that it causes considerably less strife when I golf in the morning during the week. In a little over an hour I am able to get nine holes in, and given another 30 minutes I'm showered and at work. So the kiddo and I wake up at 5:45, he and I are dressed by 6:00, he's at daycare by 6:30 and I'm on the course by 7 and into work by 8:30. Wife doesn't complain that those two days a week she has no obligation other than wake up and get to work on time. Weekend golf, as long as it's early, isn't an issue. Golf that takes almost an entire day (due to travel) either requires O/N stays with her friends (while I go play a local course) or reciprocation where she gets a day out. Golf trips need to be planned in advance. I've already given the wife notice for our week-long 2016 golf trip next summer. It took almost 10 months to figure out that routine though. When kid #2 shows up (depending on whether we can get pregnant again, or foster/adopt) a wrench will surely be thrown in the works again.
 
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I started the season off strong , 5 rounds in early April. Now nothing since , the well has gone dry. I have a new job that is 7am to 3pm and this is making it almost impossible to golf. Used to work swing shift and every other week I was 3 to 11pm. The early afternoon during the week was perfect for golf , now with the hour changes it is really really tough. I'm hoping in 2 weeks to go out again , but will try something new. I'm going to play for no score and hit as many balls that I want on a great championship resort course. They won't care as the weekdays are dead there , and I'm the more balls I hit the more I feel I'm making up for my lack of golf and getting my money's worth


There is no answers to be op's dilemma or a majority of ours being fathers. Our lives have changed and forever will taking on a father ship role. Either you embrace it and enjoy it for what it is .. Or get a divorce and be a miserable old Scrooge that has the "me" and "I" entitlement attitude. It is tough, but if you can't handle it than you should've thought a while before becoming a father in the first place

it's a responsibility and a gift .. Grow up and realize play time is over. Now it is all about family
 
My marriage works like this; I golf on Saturday.
I also may golf during the week after work if I've taken care of all my responsibilities around the house and she doesn't feel like doing anything together that night.

I don't golf Sunday.
 
This is why I won't get married again, unless I find the perfect one for me. I am a believer mothers and fathers can both do things they enjoy while also raising children. My ex and I both trained to run marathons while my son was 2. You think golf takes time, lol, try marathon training. But we worked it out by covering for each other.

Any spouse use who tells the other spouse what to do and when they can do it, are not in a partnership. That's the problem. No thanks, I'll never be in a relationship like that.

both people should compromise and try to make the other happy, some people just can't do that.


ken
 
Wife cutting down golf my arse! I have to cut her's down most of the time. :deadhorse: She play's a hell of lot more golf than I do :act-up:
 
No problem at all here :)
my wife even asks me when I'm going to play golf.... :)
 
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