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Mental Health: Make it a Priority

I have abandoned my mental health. If the world crumbles I’ll crawl out of the rubble. I flat out refused to work any overtime. I just allow people their right to be wrong on simple things. I did lose it at a gas station the other day and when forced to defend myself. I’m doing some easy jogging and the ankle will improve or finish itself off. I do have a cat missing and that sucks.

It feels weird to let things go. I don’t know if I like it but gotta change something.
 
hedley_lamarr08 said:
I have abandoned my mental health. If the world crumbles I’ll crawl out of the rubble. I flat out refused to work any overtime. I just allow people their right to be wrong on simple things. I did lose it at a gas station the other day and when forced to defend myself. I’m doing some easy jogging and the ankle will improve or finish itself off. I do have a cat missing and that sucks.

It feels weird to let things go. I don’t know if I like it but gotta change something.
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It sounds like you are making small but significant steps to helping your mental health.
You have to start somewhere and letting go of what others expect you to do is a good start.
 
hedley_lamarr08 said:
I have abandoned my mental health. If the world crumbles I’ll crawl out of the rubble. I flat out refused to work any overtime. I just allow people their right to be wrong on simple things. I did lose it at a gas station the other day and when forced to defend myself. I’m doing some easy jogging and the ankle will improve or finish itself off. I do have a cat missing and that sucks.

It feels weird to let things go. I don’t know if I like it but gotta change something.
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I say to myself: I can't control what other people do or say, but I can control how I react to it. Does it always work? No. But it's a work in progress.
 
jbb2388 said:
Just got done reading this thread. Never paid attention to it previously. Brother its shocking how accurately that describes me. Up until 4 years ago I had been in and out of therapy and on and off meds for 6-7 years following a divorce in 2011 and am as cynical as they come towards the system. Refused to become a part of it again. Well, this essentially just cost me a four year relationship with my significant other that was the best thing that ever happened to me and I have no idea how I am going to recover. When I met her it changed my life and now I am back to square one. Not many pleasant thoughts going through my head these last few days.
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Sounds like you know what you need to do. Now kick yourself in the ass and make yourself do it.
 
I’m just going to leave this here and how ****** up we are about mental health.

We recently had a golf tournament that donated all the money to a specific mental health organization associated with somebody close to us that took his own life. Last night, there was an incident where one members said “stop turning this into your own therapy session…” because he didn’t like the discussion. The person he said it to is struggling with mental health. This is why people commit suicide because they can’t just “stop” it! Would you ever say “stop having cancer” to a cancer patient?
 
So this is what rock bottom feels like. Hmmm
 
wubears71 said:
I’m just going to leave this here and how ****** up we are about mental health.

We recently had a golf tournament that donated all the money to a specific mental health organization associated with somebody close to us that took his own life. Last night, there was an incident where one members said “stop turning this into your own therapy session…” because he didn’t like the discussion. The person he said it to is struggling with mental health. This is why people commit suicide because they can’t just “stop” it! Would you ever say “stop having cancer” to a cancer patient?
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People either don’t understand what being in a hole is like or are so afraid to admit they are in a hole and their world is not perfect that they ridicule others for it. It’s so toxic.
 
PTSD is real, and nothing to be scoffed at. Often times when I am out of bed at 0300 I blame my back, but it's not my back bothering me........
 
wubears71 said:
I’m just going to leave this here and how ****** up we are about mental health.

We recently had a golf tournament that donated all the money to a specific mental health organization associated with somebody close to us that took his own life. Last night, there was an incident where one members said “stop turning this into your own therapy session…” because he didn’t like the discussion. The person he said it to is struggling with mental health. This is why people commit suicide because they can’t just “stop” it! Would you ever say “stop having cancer” to a cancer patient?
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Sometimes the mental anguish is so bad that death is preferable. When a person in that much anguish, they aren't thinking clearly and see no way out. In addition, they believe their families would be better off without them, so in a twisted "logical" way they think they are doing their families a favor.

People casually use the word "depressed", but unless they have really experienced that "dark night of the soul" they have no clue what true depression is.
 
Hope you’re all doing well, THP’ers.

So, this’ll be the first holiday season without my mom. I’ve been dreading this, quite honestly. My mom absolutely loved Thanksgiving, Christmas. Everything about it. Decorated to the nines. Loved all the time with family and friends. We went all out last year - not thinking it’d be her last but acknowledging that it was certainly possible. I don’t know what to do this year. My old man wants to essentially ignore that the holidays exist. I’m not sure that’s the healthiest or most productive response but I certainly get it. Part of me wants to fast forward through the next few months as well. It just doesn’t feel the same. At all.

Any thoughts? Advice? How have some of you coped with the holiday season following the loss of a loved one?
 
PPFour12 said:
Hope you’re all doing well, THP’ers.

So, this’ll be the first holiday season without my mom. I’ve been dreading this, quite honestly. My mom absolutely loved Thanksgiving, Christmas. Everything about it. Decorated to the nines. Loved all the time with family and friends. We went all out last year - not thinking it’d be her last but acknowledging that it was certainly possible. I don’t know what to do this year. My old man wants to essentially ignore that the holidays exist. I’m not sure that’s the healthiest or most productive response but I certainly get it. Part of me wants to fast forward through the next few months as well. It just doesn’t feel the same. At all.

Any thoughts? Advice? How have some of you coped with the holiday season following the loss of a loved one?
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Don't worry about the way it's always been, or what you should do. Do what you're comfortable with. If that means all out, then do it. If it means next to nothing, do it. Do what's comfortable.

And I'm here if you ever need to talk. Hell, I'm only a handful of hours away if you need to get away and do something that takes your mind off it.
 
Last Sunday in church, our pastor (Catholic Church) in his homily actually said nobody likes self pity and we just need to stop it!

It’s been bugging me greatly. This is not the first time he’s done something like this. I am getting tired of people saying they care about mental health and then do this. Believe me, if it was as easy as just stopping it, I would.

All this does is drive me further from faith.
 
PPFour12 said:
Hope you’re all doing well, THP’ers.

So, this’ll be the first holiday season without my mom. I’ve been dreading this, quite honestly. My mom absolutely loved Thanksgiving, Christmas. Everything about it. Decorated to the nines. Loved all the time with family and friends. We went all out last year - not thinking it’d be her last but acknowledging that it was certainly possible. I don’t know what to do this year. My old man wants to essentially ignore that the holidays exist. I’m not sure that’s the healthiest or most productive response but I certainly get it. Part of me wants to fast forward through the next few months as well. It just doesn’t feel the same. At all.

Any thoughts? Advice? How have some of you coped with the holiday season following the loss of a loved one?
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We lost my dad a few weeks before Christmas in 2022 and that holiday absolutely sucked. I had to hide in the bathroom a lot that day.

Thanksgiving isn't going to be easy for me. Thanksgiving 2022 was the last time I saw my dad in person, and by mid-afternoon I was hoping he was going to leave soon because he was getting cranky with everyone in the house, the noise, the kids being hyped up because all the cousins were in the house, etc. I have a lot of residual guilt over that and it's been rearing it's ugly head again lately. I've had some bad days the past few weeks.

Sorry I don't have much advice. I'm still struggling with things too my friend. You are not alone in things not feeling the same and not knowing how things are going to go.
 
wubears71 said:
Last Sunday in church, our pastor (Catholic Church) in his homily actually said nobody likes self pity and we just need to stop it!

It’s been bugging me greatly. This is not the first time he’s done something like this. I am getting tired of people saying they care about mental health and then do this. Believe me, if it was as easy as just stopping it, I would.

All this does is drive me further from faith.
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That's exactly what Jesus would've said:rolleyes:

Just because you're a priest doesn't mean you're not an ignorant a'hole. (Speaking as a long-time teacher in Catholic school system & lifelong parishoner). And this kind of stuff does drive people (especially young people) from the faith.

Still, I'm hopeful that the stigma of discussing mental health or going to get help will fade. Seems like a lot of pro athletes are making it OK to talk about this. Other celebs too (Bruce Springsteen comes to mind).

It couldn't hurt to send your pastor a letter or email with your concerns. Maybe he's never been called out for this crap, and might be willing to change
 
Tough anniversary for me today, and I’m not really dealing with it well. Mental health can be a legit struggle some days, and time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds.
 
ryang13 said:
Tough anniversary for me today, and I’m not really dealing with it well. Mental health can be a legit struggle some days, and time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds.
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Hang in there.
 
Grins said:
That's exactly what Jesus would've said:rolleyes:

Just because you're a priest doesn't mean you're not an ignorant a'hole. (Speaking as a long-time teacher in Catholic school system & lifelong parishoner). And this kind of stuff does drive people (especially young people) from the faith.

Still, I'm hopeful that the stigma of discussing mental health or going to get help will fade. Seems like a lot of pro athletes are making it OK to talk about this. Other celebs too (Bruce Springsteen comes to mind).

It couldn't hurt to send your pastor a letter or email with your concerns. Maybe he's never been called out for this crap, and might be willing to change
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I actually did send him an email. He sent me a very thoughtful response and had no idea he came off that way. It was a very meaningful response.
 
ryang13 said:
Tough anniversary for me today, and I’m not really dealing with it well. Mental health can be a legit struggle some days, and time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds.
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I don't like to see this, but I understand we all have our battles. Keep your chin up, and reach out if that's just too much of a struggle.
 
wubears71 said:
I actually did send him an email. He sent me a very thoughtful response and had no idea he came off that way. It was a very meaningful response.
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You know what though, good for you. You could have said nothing, and let it gnaw at you, but by saying something, you've hopefully opened someone's eyes.

None of this is easy, it is the hardest thing I have ever needed to deal with, and am still terrible at it. Saying something, doing something, trying..... at least it is a start.
 
ryang13 said:
Tough anniversary for me today, and I’m not really dealing with it well. Mental health can be a legit struggle some days, and time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds.
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Hope you're doing OK man...

Hope everyone is doing OK today
 
 
ryang13 said:
Tough anniversary for me today, and I’m not really dealing with it well. Mental health can be a legit struggle some days, and time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds.
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Sorry, friend. Hang in there and reach out if need be.
 
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