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Hardest thing you've over come??

Wow I am so sorry for you guys and the pain and tough times you have suffered. Many sad stories here and it's crazy how we take life for granted too often. I've had some really tough times to deal with, throughout my life but I'll just stick with two. The year I had to spend in Vietnam was pretty tough on me. The biggy, was the day I found out I had prostate cancer. It had spread to both sides but not outside of the area affected. The surgery went well but wearing a catheter for two weeks was a pain in the you know what. The first post PSA came right before Christmas and when it showed up normal, I lit up like a Christmas tree. This big old guy shed tears in the Docs office. Yea life is good but can seem much better when you are walking on thin ice. The little things don't seem so big any more.
 
Gianna, I'm glad to hear you didn't give up on your daughter, that situation sounds so hard but I'm glad you hung in there and that it was worth it!

OG I'm happy that you got through all that, cancer is awful and I'm so happy that you are safe and made it through!



Tapping & autocorrecting

"Life is short, Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse."
-Stanley Hudson
 
First off, to Josh, after teeing it up with you today man, anytime you need an ear or a shoulder call me, you're a good dude.

As you get older you experience more loss. Both my mom and dad have died in the last year and a half, went through a cancer scare and my wife has been going through cancer with her sister. Life can be hard but good friends make it easier
 
Wow so much to coment on in this thread. You are all great guy's and I hate hearing these stories if anyone want's to let out some steam you can pm me. Thain I feel ya buddy a lot of good people are always here to help out.
 
Hardest thing i've had to over come was the death of my brother. I had just got out of the navy in sep. of 2007 and moved back to ga. to be around my family and spend time with my brother. We had grown apart a little since I was gone for so long. The whole family came together for thanksgiving and we all had a great time eating and
Catching up. We went out shopping for black friday, even though my brother didnt really want to go he came along and had a great time. I do thank god he came with us that day and that we got to have such a great time telling jokes and shopping. On sat. we all got together again at my parents house, my brother showed up around 4 p.m. after he had gotten off work. We spent some time talking then he said he was tired and was gonna take a nap on the couch. My uncle awoke him around midnight so he could drive home, even though I asked him to just let him sleep. He awoke and gave everyone hugs and said he'd see us tomorrow. He fell asleep at the wheel on his way home and rolled his truck four times. He died instantly is what the coroner had said because he was ejected from the vehicle and had broken his neck. He was 19 years old. I had just given him a hug goodbye 2 hours earlier and now I was identifying his body. By far the hardest thing ive ever done. After his passing the hits just kept coming. My fiance at the time left me for someone else, I lost my job, and then my dog passed away within 3 months. I thought my whole life was falling apart. But like all things time passes and things become better. I will say its still kinda difficult around thanksgiving.

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I'm at a loss for words reading this thread. Makes me wonder why I worry so much about the stuff I go through in my life and puts it all in a completely different perspective.

My wife and I were in the middle of building our house when the contractor screwed us over for about 50k euros (approx. $65.000) and filed for bankruptcy right after that. Due to a loophole in Belgian law, we can't sue the b### so we had to decide wether we would take out an extra loan for the house or stop the construction and sell it. Considering we probably would be unable to pay off the extra loan, we decided to sell the house, even though we were 90% done. It took about 6-7 months before the house got sold, waaaay below the price we already invested in it. I don't know about how it all goes in the States, but over here, the buyer first signs a kind of 'promise' he'll buy the property and then it takes about 3-4 months before you can actually sign the legal documents. Now my wife and I are left with a debt of about €150k ($200k) and no property. We live in a rental house and are now looking at 8 years of handing in our paycheck to a court appointed laywer who will counsel us to get out of the debt.
During this ordeal, my wife lost her job and fell into a severe depression, thinking about killing herself to ensure the life insurance would allow our 4 year old daughter and me to pay the debts (in Belgium, you have to get this type of life insurance whenever you take out a mortgage). Thank god she didn't do such a stupid thing, my wife and little girl are the most precious thing to me.

With the outlook of only 8 years of paying off the debt instead of 25 years (which would be the case without the court appointed lawyer), my wife is slowly picking herself up and we're both back in evening school.

But like I said, reading the loss and pain of fellow THP'ers, I feel kinda ashamed that I felt so bad over the things we had to go through.

you all have my sincerest sympathy.
 
This thread just reiterates what THP is all about and how we are a family. I lost my father dues to Diabetes when I was 17. He didn't take care of himself and the last few years before he passed, he was in a lot of pain and discomfort. At the time, I was basically emotionless, feeling like if I showed any emotion about my sadness,anger,grief, I would look weak. Looking back now, and what I am dealing with, I have a thread. I wish I would of done something about my feeling back when I was going through the loss of my father.

As of today, I am at a loss with my current situation. I am talking about my feelings, showing emotion. I am still angry and I think I have every right to be. I do say things, and I whole heartily do not mean them, but in the momment, I do.

This is a great place to come and talk about everyday life. The people on this forum are great. I met alot of amazing people at the last two Tour Stops I attended. I know I could get ahold of anyone of the guys I met either for a round of golf or a round or two of beers.

Thank you JB and GG for a great place that I call my second family and home.
 
I am about to deal with the toughest challenge of my life. Looks like I am being forced into a divorce and I don't know why.

But what is killing me the most is my 4 angels. 4 boys. Ages 1, 2, 3 & 4. I cannot beleive I am going to loose them and she is taking them away from me.

Last night was the first night I ever slept away from them. I slept on my office floor. She took them and went to stay in her parents basement apartment in the slums. I couldn't stand the idea of my kids in that environment. I told her go back home for the kids. I'll leave.

And I don't know why all this is happening.
 
Thanks for this post Jman. This will help a lot or people.
Jman said:
Amen Thain. Had my wife not made talk and go talk to people about it I don't know what would have happened. I didn't feel, no laughing, no crying, never up, never down, just emotionless. It was a scary place to be in. Had my wife not been there and THP hadn't been there, who knows how long I would have let it go and how bad it would have gotten. Scares the hell out of me to think about even now.


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After reading what many of you have gone through in life (some at an early age) helps me realize that what I've gone through in life isn't S**t. Your ability to persevere and share those experiences, shows the quality of person you are and have become as a result of lifes trials. I admire your drive and refusal to quit, it says a lot.
 
JRod said:
This thread is really depressing.
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That's not the point of the thread bud. I created it because I know I've been through some tough times even at a young age I feel like I have a positive attitude on life, which puts me mature way past my years. I created it so people could open up and talk to each other and help each other get passed things together. Someone in a similar situation to me might have a better way of going about something and that might help me in my life. Basically just made it for a place for people to vent to each other and lend a hand when needed, because that's exactly what this whole forum seems like to me. A giant family really.
 
Wow JR, Ron and Josh. You guys have been through some terrible things. Glad to see you guys staying positive!
 
OUZO Power said:
I am about to deal with the toughest challenge of my life. Looks like I am being forced into a divorce and I don't know why.

But what is killing me the most is my 4 angels. 4 boys. Ages 1, 2, 3 & 4. I cannot beleive I am going to loose them and she is taking them away from me.

Last night was the first night I ever slept away from them. I slept on my office floor. She took them and went to stay in her parents basement apartment in the slums. I couldn't stand the idea of my kids in that environment. I told her go back home for the kids. I'll leave.

And I don't know why all this is happening.
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This is really sad man and my prayers are with ya.
 
OUZO Power said:
I am about to deal with the toughest challenge of my life. Looks like I am being forced into a divorce and I don't know why.

But what is killing me the most is my 4 angels. 4 boys. Ages 1, 2, 3 & 4. I cannot beleive I am going to loose them and she is taking them away from me.

Last night was the first night I ever slept away from them. I slept on my office floor. She took them and went to stay in her parents basement apartment in the slums. I couldn't stand the idea of my kids in that environment. I told her go back home for the kids. I'll leave.

And I don't know why all this is happening.
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That is rough man. :( I know I'll be here and the rest of THP if you ever feel like venting out. I'm sorry to hear and prayers are sent it works out for the best.
 
Bogey317 said:
This thread just reiterates what THP is all about and how we are a family. I lost my father dues to Diabetes when I was 17. He didn't take care of himself and the last few years before he passed, he was in a lot of pain and discomfort. At the time, I was basically emotionless, feeling like if I showed any emotion about my sadness,anger,grief, I would look weak. Looking back now, and what I am dealing with, I have a thread. I wish I would of done something about my feeling back when I was going through the loss of my father.

As of today, I am at a loss with my current situation. I am talking about my feelings, showing emotion. I am still angry and I think I have every right to be. I do say things, and I whole heartily do not mean them, but in the momment, I do.

This is a great place to come and talk about everyday life. The people on this forum are great. I met alot of amazing people at the last two Tour Stops I attended. I know I could get ahold of anyone of the guys I met either for a round of golf or a round or two of beers.

Thank you JB and GG for a great place that I call my second family and home.
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This. This is exactly why I created this thread. Yes I am new, but I have a lot of life experience in my young age that I can share. I want to be apart of this place, and this is the easiest way for me to contribute right now. Very well said Bogey. I hope the best works out for you.
 
My prayers go out to all of yall!! Remember God is Good All the Time and he never puts more on us than we cant Handle!
 
What scares me the most is I don't know what is the next step. What do I do? I just sit and cry with my boys images imprinted in my mind.
 
OUZO Power said:
What scares me the most is I don't know what is the next step. What do I do? I just sit and cry with my boys images imprinted in my mind.
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Go find a way to go get/or take back what is yours! You have every right to be sad and crying is a great outlet. Don't let it ruin you though. I'm not trying to be insensitive but no man should be without his children! I wish you the best of luck and you can always shoot anyone of us a PM to vent or talk!
 
Talking is my therapy...

As a sophmore in High School, I started seeing blood everytime I had a bowel movement. Abnormal amounts. Afraid to tell anyone (this was 1982), I "hid" it for two years as best I could, I was a loner, parents were almost separated, about to divorce, I didn't have close friends. I wondered to myself if I was a genetic misfit as my condition flared up on almost monthly basis. I became anemic, my father who "you're only sick if you want to be sick... toughen up!" attitude didn't help (obviously). I found out in my senior year of high school I had ulcerative colitis. After 10 years of high dose steriod treatments I stopped responding to them, and ultimately needed a total colectomy. Age 27... I had an ileostomy. A bag. My "****** little friend".

My 1st wife, though we had 3 children (daughter and two sons) couldn't deal with it, I couldn't deal with her not loving me, we grew apart. 5 surgeries laters, and putting up with her multiple affairs we divorced.

In 2000, I found someone who loved me for me and we married in 2002 (we celebrated 10 years this month). I thought life was finally turning around for me. I finally accepted my condition and life with an appliance on my side. But the happiness was short lived. My Mom (who I was extremely close with) was dx with Stage 3 breast cancer. She died with me at her side in May 2005. While grieving over the loss of my Mom, I received a call from my ex... our first child, who was 18 at the time and at college, had passed away in her sleep at her house. Misdiagnosed as a viral illness at a podunk, midwest hospital near the college of Northwest Missouri State University, it turns out she had a Strep C infection, if only they would have done a blood culture. Claire was 18, and 1500 miles away and I could do nothing for my daughter. My ex who had since remarried, was in the process of having her 3rd child with her new hubby. Though Claire had been sick for a couple weeks before her death, My daughter had called her (they lived about an hour from the school), and requested to leave college as she didn't feel she was getting better. My ex went to the college to bring her to their home. Did she take her to the doctor or hospital knowing she was ill and having 104-105 degree temperatures? No, she let Claire "rest" on her couch while my ex cared for her new born (2 mos... her 3rd child with her new hubby). Claire passed away in her sleep that night, to be found by my two sons (her brothers, at the time were 16 and 13). As a father, to not be able to protect any of them from that pain, that level of suffering haunts me to this day. They call it complicated grief. It doesn't go away.

I share, not to pile on, or one up, but to keep my sanity. To me and others, in the moment, its the worst thing in your life, but in reality, it can always be worse. Not two weeks after putting my daughter to "rest", there was a local story of two teens, driving from their mother's house to their fathers house for dinner (parents were divorced)... They never made it. Not sure why the car left the road, some suspect they could have been avoiding a deer that time of night and year. Needless to say, a broken family, now working through the loss of their only two children.

I've battled acceptance, disease, numerous surgeries, complicated grief, depression, meaning of life... still do. My life (and I suspect for many of us, is a challenge). It's probably why I like golf so much, for to accept the challenge of "hacking that little white ball", you have to be 100% committed/engrossed in your swing, strategy, etc. For me, its the mental escape I need from my day to day challenges that life has brought me.
 
Wow, there are a lot of us who have been through some very tough situations in life. I do like hearing that everyone has overcome these things or at least working to overcome them. The age old saying applies in so many ways, "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Keep pressing forward everyone!
 
Nate said:
It kills me to read these sort of stories. I hate that THP'ers are going and had to go through these events. I had my own with our 3 year old at the time and posted it way back when:

http://www.thehackersparadise.com/forum/showthread.php?21135-Last-14-Days-Almost-Back

Today, she is still doing great and I pray for her each and every day I wake up.
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I remember reading through that thread when I ran into it and I'm really happy for you Nate and your family!



Tapping & autocorrecting

"Life is short, Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse."
-Stanley Hudson
 
This thread just shows the familial feel of THP. People can share stuff like this and know someone is there to lend a helping hand. I havent dealt with anything near this bad, but I know depression is difficult and hard to handle. When I hurt my shoulder my sophmore year of college and baseball ended for me, it was difficult. I was sort of numb, just going through the motions. Although I knew it had to end someday, I figured I still had a few more years. It was something I struggled with quite a bit, and I still wish I had a chance to go back out and play again.
 
For me its mentally abusive and controlling parents (whom I dont speak to anymore), severe depression as a teenager (mostly due to said parents who never allowed me to have friends or a social life outside of school), a speech impediment (developed it when I was in grade school and have been working to manage it ever since) and as you can imagine, some fairly severe issues with self-confidence.
Possibly worst of all is my parents think that they gave me a perfect childhood and that I had nothing to be sad about. Im better now and am a happy and well-adjusted adult but I spent many years in my teens and 20s being depress, angry and unable to have much of a social life.
Since my parents left my life and I moved from Wisconsin to Ohio Im much happier but I have wounds that will probably never heal and things that I might never get over. At this point I have no interest in my parents being a part of my life, at least not until they are willing to face the facts of what they put me through and honestly, at this point they have made it clear that in their opinion, Im the problem and that there will be no apology.
Whats funny is that they have told me that my fiance is that problem and that she has filled my head full of lies and turned me against them. What they dont realize and are unwilling to face is that Ive felt this way for years, I just chose to hide my pain in the name of family unity.
 
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