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The Golf Confessional - a safe place

I recently hit the roof of a clubhouse on the full when teeing off on a really difficult par 4. Wind was howling straight into us and the hole has a decent dogleg to the left. I tried drawing it into the wind and didn't even get close, lol. I pushed it miles right, the wind exaggerated it and then BANG on the metal roof of the clubhouse about 250 yards away. I can't begin to describe how embarrassing it is going to pick your ball up from the practice green in front of a clubhouse full of people.
 
When I was 18, I was playing a dogleg left, long par 5. I decided I would try to cut the corner and hit it as hard as humanly possible. It didn't cut the corner at all and flew perfectly straight over the end of our fairway and towards the green of an adjacent hole. It proceeded to bounce once, then hit some poor soul right in the calf as he was waiting for his buddy to make a putt. Thought I was going to get beat up, but he was pretty cool about it. I apologized several times, got my ball back, and ran away as fast as possible. I didn't see the guy the rest of the day, but I can't imagine he was having a good day after that because that ball was smoking when it hit him.


This past summer, I had an errant drive that landed almost straight behind a tree. It was just off to the right enough that I thought I could get the ball out. I still had a fair ways to the hole, but I just decided to play it safe and try to get back on the fairway. Pulled my PW and took a really open stance with left foot beside the tree and right foot behind the tree. My stepdad said, just try to chunk it, don't take a big swing and follow through. Somewhere between the time I started taking the club back and my downswing, I forgot there was a tree there, because I ripped off a swing like I was trying to hit a 200yd wedge and reach the green. I smacked the ball off the side of the tree, sending it right (ob) about 60 yards and had too much momentum to stop at impact. Tried to do a complete follow through, even though this tree was like 6 inches in front of me. The impact sent the head of my PW flying to the left, back into the fairway. I was left holding the grip and about 15" of shaft. The shock from the impact had my hands trembling so badly I could barely grip a club the rest of the round. Had to finish the last 5 holes with no PW, no grip, and no dignity.
 
I nailed my clubhouse with an approach shot once. No one seemed to notice.

A few years ago I was playing alone when I flubbed an iron shot. I launched the club and instantly regretted it when I watched it land in a marsh. So I went in and had to get it, which took half an hour. I haven't flung a club since.

Opening two shots when I played Chambers Bay: shanks. My caddie straightened me out to finish the hole with a bogey.
 
Back in my very early days I managed to hit the pro shop with my drive on the first hole at a local many. What makes it outstanding is that I'm left handed, and the pro shop is to the right of the tee box.

For those who still can't picture it, it means that I hit the ball directly between my feet off the heel of the club. I had to pitch back onto the tee box to lie 3.
 
There may have been a round or two in my past (or maybe my future) that involved strippers and a blow up doll and other strange things, sometimes the rock and roll side of me still shows up lol.
 
Trout Bum said:
There may have been a round or two in my past (or maybe my future) that involved strippers and a blow up doll and other strange things, sometimes the rock and roll side of me still shows up lol.
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I vote for future...
 
i was playing Geneva National and shanked a shot and hit a deer square in the ass. sad part was he was standing 20 yards straight right of me . I still have to listen to that shot over and over again every time I am there
 
When trying to enter THP events, I send out an email that I will be on a conference call. Then I pick up the phone and hold it to my ear while I type.

I may may have taken out a tail light on a moving truck while playing a hole adjacent to a busy street. Ball bounced under a car going one way and hit the tail light of the truck going the other way. We heard it hit. The guy never stopped either. When we were adjacent to that part of the street while playing the hole, we could see the tell tale red plastic in the middle of the road. I would have paid.......honest.

JM
 
Trout Bum said:
There may have been a round or two in my past (or maybe my future) that involved strippers and a blow up doll and other strange things, sometimes the rock and roll side of me still shows up lol.
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I played a few tournaments this summer with strippers handing out free beer. I don't drink, but it was still fun.
 
Tywithay said:
I played a few tournaments this summer with strippers handing out free beer. I don't drink, but it was still fun.
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Sounds like a happy place...
 
Tywithay said:
I played a few tournaments this summer with strippers handing out free beer. I don't drink, but it was still fun.
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I don't drink either lol and it was fun. Watching some of the others that drank heavily was the most fun lol.
 
Literally my very first trip to a driving range, January this year. It was a small, 150 yard range, and there was a huge sign that stated "ONLY 8I, 9I AND WEDGES". There were small signs next to the hitting bays is well. At the end of the range there was a 20-foot net to protect the farm behind it. So I grab my 9I, putt the ball on the tee, and gave it my best swing. While I see the ball go up, I was thinking "wow, this ball is going really far!". Suddenly I realized the ball was clearing the net behind the range with relative easy, and heard a loud thump, and a man screaming. So I take another look at the club, followed by another look at my bag, and noticed I was hitting my 6i instead of my 9i...

I hit his (already beat up) tractor, and there was a dent in the hood. I offered to have my insurance cover the damage, but refused he said my apology was enough.
 
When I was in my teens, we lived on an acreage in the country. I would hit balls into the fields surrounding our house. One day I decided to tee one up a bit deeper into the yard than I usually would be hitting from. Shanked it, directly into the side of my mother's car..... missed the window by 6".

I blamed my brother.
 
braddman19 said:
When I was in my teens, we lived on an acreage in the country. I would hit balls into the fields surrounding our house. One day I decided to tee one up a bit deeper into the yard than I usually would be hitting from. Shanked it, directly into the side of my mother's car..... missed the window by 6".

I blamed my brother.
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Lol, man that's mean!!
 
45 years ago, In college, my car is an old beater, only two speeds worked in the three speed transmission, had to park it on a hill to start it, etc. (but the glass and body was fairly good). I decided to go to the football practice field and hit wedges, parked the car at the end of the field and promptly hit a pretty pitch right into the windshield. So in addition to all the other problems with the car it had a nice spider web looking pattern in the windshield.
 
Lefty78 said:
45 years ago, In college, my car is an old beater, only two speeds worked in the three speed transmission, had to park it on a hill to start it, etc. (but the glass and body was fairly good). I decided to go to the football practice field and hit wedges, parked the car at the end of the field and promptly hit a pretty pitch right into the windshield. So in addition to all the other problems with the car it had a nice spider web looking pattern in the windshield.
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I bet the women working beating ya door down to get a ride in that booty wagon huh? :zdance:
 
Ole Gray said:
I bet the women working beating ya door down to get a ride in that booty wagon huh? :zdance:
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It was a good one, just couldn't afford a starter but was able to get enough parts from the junk yard keep it running.
 
I cheated one time in 38 years of golf (and 50 years of life) and I still feel awful about it!

I started playing golf during the Summer after 7th grade, and I made it onto the Jr. High golf team in 8th grade.

In one of those first tournaments, I hit it left on a Par-3 at Alhambra GC in Orlando (an away course for us). I didn't know there was a lake left, and when I got to my ball it was sitting on top of some thick algae just at the edge of the lake. I took off my shoes and socks and got into the water to prepare to hit the ball off of the algae. Just as I was addressing the ball, it slipped down into the algae and was about 2/3 submerged. Without thinking, I rolled the ball back up onto the algae.

All of a sudden, it dawned on me what I had done. I really didn't know what the rule was at that point and I didn't know what to do. No one saw me as the other players in the group were way above me on the green. I went ahead and played the shot and then wrestled with what I should do. I didn't say anything and by the time I teed off on the next hole, I knew I had screwed up royally.

The guilt was so overwhelming and I wound up playing horribly the rest of the round. Looking back, rolling the ball back up onto the algae was just a reaction and I had no intent to cheat. But I certainly did have the option to DQ myself after the fact and I should have. I told myself at the time that I didn't want to hurt our team; but I knew better.

It was the only time I've ever cheated in my life, and I feel sick about it to this day :/
 
First time I played was 20 years ago. Borrowed clubs from best friends dad. 1st hole no glove hit my tee shot 10 feet to the left beside a lake. Took a 5 iron swung hard and released the 5 iron out into the middle of the lake.

Clubs were Dunlop from kmart. Had to buy entire set to replace 5 iron.....became my first set of clubs and to this day can't hit a 5 iron for chit!
 
i'll admit it, i play clubs partly based on looks. Whatever, confidence is part of the game right?
 
2 years ago on the long par 5, 16th hole of my home course, I tried to kill a drive. I pulled it left right towards the row of very expensive houses that line the hole. The ball was high enough to catch near the top of the tile roof on one house, then careened forward and hit the roof on the next house. One or more tiles may have been chipped, but I could not verify.
 
I was warming up on the range before a club tournament, doing my 2 ball drill. I was battling the .......... you know........ that week and the toe of my wedge hit the outside ball, sending it right between the next guy over's but cheeks. He looked at me, but saw my ball (the one I meant to hit) land near the 100 target, so he assumed it wasn't me. He looked really confused for the rest of the range time.
 
About 15 years ago, two of my friends and I each took our respective spouses/girlfriends for a trip to Calabash, NC. 6 of us in a 3 bedroom condo..nice trip. The guys played 1 round a day, the girls either shopped, or on the courses that allowed it, came along to photograph and heckle.

Don't recall which course, but I had a severe uphill lie in a tight greenside bunker. Mind you, the courses where I was playing at the time back home (Ohiotopia) often didn't have much in the way of sand--typically, it was badly caked/baked if I ever hit a trap, so I wasn't used to fluffy sand. Uphill lies also were somewhat foreign.

Course was packed, with plenty of people waiting around to get a chance to hit. So I had an audience of two foursomes waiting in the adjacent fairway.

So I tried to be a Phil, and laid the 60° way open, and took a massive flop swing. Forgetting that the uphill effectively added loft.

Yup. I got out of the trap. I hit the ball up..and backwards, about 40 feet behind me. The guys, the girls, and the gallery were all rolling in laughter.

I don't recall the next shot..I probably skulled it.
 
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