We've launched the new forums! Read more here

The dad joke thread

Flat earthers: the only thing they have to fear is sphere itself.
 
A man had a terrible compulsion to drink brake fluid.
His friends tried to help him with an intervention.
He told them not to worry because he could stop whenever he wanted.
 
Stolen from Twitter:

A man was arrested for stealing a saxophone from the school band.

He was charged with Grand Theft Alto.
 
Just gonna leave this here...

asparagus.jpg
 
Mountains just aren't funny....

they're hill areas.
 
I was reading a horror story last night in Braille
I was getting scared and I had to stop
Something bad was going to happen
I could just feel it.......
 
My wife told me I was terrible with directions.

So I packed up my bags and right.
 
I got thrown out of Bed Bath & Beyond for stealing kitchen utensils. I'm going back, though, because it is a whisk I'm willing to take.
 
My dad likes to wear cowboy clothes...

I guess you can say he likes ranch dressing...
 
Want to hear a new word I made up?

I call it “plagiarism”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Not really a dad joke but I forgot about this gem until today. Absolutely classic.

 
Nicegy525 said:
why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?


Because they kept saying "Bach Bach"
Click to expand...

That's funny, because yesterday I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.
 
This thread cracks me up, i will browse through it and start laughing. So much fun content! Thanks all for the laughs.
 
Guy is at the doctors office. He has a stick of celery in one ear and a carrot in the other, there's a few peas in his nose. Doctor asks what's wrong sir? He replies, I don't know I just haven't been feeling well lately. Doctors says, It's probably because you're not eating right!
 
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday ? Aye matey.
 
Went to this restaurant on the moon the other day! Food was good but the restaurant had no atmosphere!
 
Went to eat at the beach last night and the Fresh Catch was Halibut. I asked the server: Do you know why I am going to have the Fresh Catch? Just for the halibut.

That's a homemade dad joke.
 
Went to a yard sale this morning. This guy had a whole table full of dead batteries. I asked him how much? He said, "Take as many as you want! They're free of charge!"
 
For Dads with daughters with boyfriends!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top