I’m Back…. and Worse than Ever
Let’s all take a moment and try to connect. After you read this, close your eyes, and try to remember a time when you played out of your comfort zone and things just fell apart. Maybe it was joining a random group on the course, hitting balls in front of an audience at the range, or even teeing off in front of the world during a THP Experience live stream. Try to recall that feeling in your stomach – the one that almost made it impossible to take the club back for fear of making yourself look foolish. Try to remember how that swing you worked so hard on fell apart in a matter of seconds and left you desperately trying to find something solid to cling to.
Sound familiar?
Man, have I been there. I spent years there. I visited that dark place in private and on some of the most public stages a non-competitive golfer will ever find. Maybe you haven’t experienced this, or it’s happened so infrequently that you can’t fully relate. I know there are people like you out there, but I believe more are like me than aren’t. Today, we are starting a new series devoted to you.
For those that don’t know my story, I spent five years as an equipment reviewer for The Hackers Paradise (THP). As part of a contest, I submitted an article that earned me a coveted spot as a writer for the website, reviewing just about every type of golf equipment available. THP’s ownership has always been unique in that they encourage golfers of all skill levels to share their thoughts on the game they love. While other companies may say they feel the same way, THP’s actions over the years illustrate their commitment to this philosophy. Maybe the greatest demonstration of this was allowing me, a virtual beginner with a 30+ handicap, a chance to share my opinions on golf equipment. Unsurprisingly, this experiment worked, and worked incredibly well. I can’t tell you the number of times I heard a phrase like “I read your reviews and listen to your opinions because I know you’re like me” from our readers.
Over time, the handicap dropped a little. Taking a couple lessons and playing regularly produced better scores, but I was never what I’d consider “good” at playing golf. For all the acceptance I received from THP and its community of readers, I was always my own worst critic (and believe me, I had some very vocal critics). The truth is, on the public stage, it’s not very fun to stink at golf, even if stinking at golf is the part of your identity for which people like you. I had opportunities to play with readers, industry leaders, and even professional golfers. I had many good times, plenty of good shots, and even some halfway respectable performances, but just never could slay those demons. I can’t explain to you the feelings that course through your body when you hit a shot four inches backwards in front of two LPGA players. It’s tough to shake. While I was always able to apply humility and humor to my plight, the fact remains that I had an incredible desire to improve and disassociate myself from the identity I’d created.
So, I invested a great deal of time, money, and personal effort into improving my game. I took lessons locally and via the internet, which was a somewhat archaic process back then. I hit hundreds of balls a week. I sought out advice from professionals and industry leaders. I played with, and observed, good players. I joined a club and played a ton of golf. After years of this, I managed to drop my handicap into the teens, eking out scores in the 80’s when things went well. If I’m being honest with myself, which I think is often an improving golfer’s biggest challenge, most of that improvement came through course management, familiarity, and a decent short game. Regardless of what my GHIN said, swing issues I never managed to resolve remained nearby, waiting to appear any time even the smallest amount of stress was present. My timing and club face control could disappear in a literal second, leaving a trail of unfulfilling rounds at some of the game’s premier destinations.
How bad did it get? Here’s a very candid admission: I went to Callaway Golf’s ECPC, a place where normal golfers’ dreams come true, and I barely hit any golf balls on the range. I acted too busy to spend time with some of the industry’s best fitters while an entire unreleased product line sat in front of me. Why? I can only believe it was purely the desire to preserve my disintegrating sense of self-worth.
In 2014 I gave it one last, best attempt. Again, there was some measurable improvement, but nothing close to what I hoped for. In 2015, it just became too much. I had a young family and decided if I was going to spend my limited time on personal pursuits, I was at least going to get satisfaction out of them. So, I quit. I played four rounds in seven years, always as favor to someone else, and didn’t once have the desire to begin playing regularly again.
Seven years later, my son took an interest in the game, and I eventually couldn’t avoid it. Surprisingly, even with all those years of rust clinging to the same old swing, I found joy in the game again. I saw him in me, full of hope, positivity, and determination to improve. Bad scores followed, as should be expected, but the part of me that was so immersed in the game and the golf industry began to emerge again. As I looked closer at the industry I’d ignored for so long, I saw an incredible progression in the technology available to golfers that wanted to improve. One thought became very clear to me.
What a great time to be a bad golfer.
I began to consider the possibilities. Could a fresh perspective, paired with this remarkable technological advancement, give my story a different ending? If I changed how I approached the concept of game improvement, could I finally come home from a golf trip with a little personal satisfaction? If I shared this process with THP and its readers, could I bring people along with me on this pursuit? Could I help those that joined with me find what we had been missing for so long? Better yet, could I use the power of THP and the golf industry to put a little icing on the cake – an experience they’d never forget?
Today, I invite all of you join me as I embark on a renewed process to improve. We’ll explore technology, data analysis, artificial intelligence, modern golf instruction, and much more. This week, I want to hear your stories about your desire to improve over the years, your successes and failures, and what lasting improvement looks like to you. Join in the discussion here on the THP forum.
I’m glad you made it back. Coaching kids in baseball, I taught the boys a lot of lessons I probably should have listened to myself; like, failing is inevitable and isn’t a reflection on you as a person.
One thing I bring up to people this day was a comment @JB made on the forum about our absurd expectations with golf. You rarely watch a pro basketball player dunk and think “I should be able to do that”, but it’s so common to watch professional golfers and think you have that ability somewhere inside you.
My favorite coaching tip I gave my kids was “hitting is the one thing where you can fail 2 out of 3 times and be considered a huge success.” I never applied that to golf until now. That quote was my way of getting them out of their heads and swinging free, without worrying about being imperfect. Anecdotal at best, but my best shots have been made without worry or concern. Just a quiet confidence and a free swing.
Caddy at Sand Valley told me to stop steering the ball and just swing. Started driving a lot better after that.
Thanks @milehighgolfer – nice to hear from you!
I had a friend of mine visit the THP Tech Studio a few years back and his name rhymes with Danny Le. He said to me, "you live next to a private course you are a member at and you have this setup 12 feet away from your work desk and you have gotten worse? That makes no sense, use the tech available to your advantage."
Obviously everyone is different, but I hear what he’s saying. If you have the knowledge to go with that technology, and some good professional help the sky should be the limit.
I think one of the biggest shortcomings of going the old route is the availability of talented coaches. I was at the range the other day and was listening to a lesson where the pro was still teaching ball flight laws that had been disproved 13 years ago!
I think online instruction has downsides too, but it definitely makes some of the game’s best teachers available to everyone.
That is the plan and i have got that advice form a few others also! Great thread topic
Now, I have an 11 year old who absolutely loves the game. So, I have come back and play almost all my rounds with him. It has completely changed my perspective on what I want golf to be. I still want to get better, but that is not at the top of the priority list. Watching my son’s enjoyment is my main motivation. We laugh, we cheer for each other, we both get frustrated at times, but on the car ride home, when he looks and me and says “thanks Dad, that was a lot of fun” I’m all in for the next round.
Looking forward to following your return to golf.
Thanks for reading. I can relate to that. Sometimes I have to just say no. I can’t afford to pay two greens fees three times week.
Well, we get out ussually one time a week and most of the courses we play won’t charge me the green fee for him. Now, I am sure that will change when he hits 14 or 15 years old. But he’s just as happy chipping in the front yard or going to the range. At some point we may have to join a club. If he picks golf over travel baseball and soccer, it will save me money.
I still have golf outings without him but I would say he tags along on 65% to 70% of my rounds.
For me, the biggest ah-ha moment came when I decided to try golfing left handed after learning and playing as a righty. I figured that if I was going to give this a real shot, I might as well see if standing on the other side of the ball makes sense. So I bought a cheap beginner set.
Like others, the initial improvements were fairly rapid. Then it got hard and I’d overcorrect. Or I’d try to push myself too far, too fast. Or I’d feel like I’m just getting into a rhythm and our short season would come to an abrupt end.
This is where I’m hoping that technology can help me. If I can find an indoor solution that I can use during the long, cold winters, maybe I can continue to improve and not have to shake off 6-7 months worth of rust every spring.
Definitely looking forward to following you on your journey!
Looking forward to following along with you!
I started playing at Age 5 back in the early eighties, and golf was my favorite sport growing up. I would chase golf balls back and forth across the yard for hours as a kid, and weekend rounds with my Dad were something that I looked forward to more than anything. I playing in my first tournament around 6th grade, so that would have put me at 12 years old. I did OK, nothing to talk about. I started playing for the high school golf team as an eighth-grader. We had some seriously good upper classmen at that point, and I played the first season and a half on the JV squad before battling my way onto the Varsity squad. Somewhere around age 16 I still loved golf but started getting burned out, and my practice and play showed this to be the case. I enjoyed golf during the summer, but by the time golf season rolled around in the fall I was less into it, and getting frustrated… *VERY* at shooting 40 or 41 when I knew it should have been a 38. We had an awesome team – our #1 bag went on to post some records at Penn State and then played several years on what now is the Korn Ferry tour. As for myself, I was always a stroke or two behind in our team matches, and eventually girls and cars were more interesting than golf. By junior and senior year I was cruising along but never put the effort in to achieve that next level.
Fast forward to college, I was focused on Academics and did not want to dedicate the time to play travel golf, despite being good friends with the number #1 bag and him basically begging me to play. Looking back, this was a missed opportunity, I should have would have could have. Instead, I worked summers on grounds crew at a couple of different courses, and got my golf fix playing for free after mowing all day. It was OK, but my scoring was non-existent and swing was not in any sort of remarkable shape. After college, I simply stopped playing… this was 2001. I gave up the game for 15 years without touching a club. Then in 2016 some events in life left me with a need for meditation and change of scenery, and somehow golf became that meditative outlet. The game had Completely changed. I played my competitive golf with wound balls and non-oversize metal woods. I even gamed a persimmon driver my Junior year. Now there was a new ball, drivers looked freaking huge, and iron tech was all different. I started tinkering around, joined THP, and started getting involved.
The biggest thing I took away from my junior golf experience, was that I was too hard on myself, and, I should be on the course to have fun, not worry about score. If I was going to pay money to be out there, I was going to make sure my head and attitude was focused on having fun, not getting down on myself for not hitting a certain number. This mental reset has made things enjoyable, although I still mutter under my breath when I pure a drive offline into the next zipcode.
Since taking up the game again, I have loved learning about all the technology side ( I’m a mechanical engineer, so geek-ery! ), as well as embraced launch monitors and the club fitting process. These were NOT thing back in the ’90’s. In self taught form, I’ve been able to make tweaks here and there, that have resulted in a generally serviceable game that holds up day-to-day. I’ve still never had a lesson, and still have some big flaws I am working on. Like you, I suffer from timing issues, and have been working on better hip turn and keeping a flat (not bowed) wrist to help with face control. It was going well….
Then this past March injured my back, and have not been able to play all year. This injury came at a bad time, as I was fortunate to win a Golden Ticket and was entered to play in the Morgan Cup. I did everything I could to get better, ended up needing surgery, and I am still on the recovery. When I return to golf, I will need to completely rebuild my swing around good back posture. I have no doubt that my sloppy rounded posture in combination with high swing speed contributed to injury, although moving a couch finished it off. Also, a couple decades of mountain biking and dirt bike racing contributed to disc compression and degradation.
So, my journey has had a few twists and turns, but I am very grateful to have this forum to talk about golf, because I have learned everything I know about the modern game and equipment here on THP. It’s literally the best place on the internet for golf. THP and Cobra have blessed me with entry into the 2023 Morgan Cup, so I have full year to rebuild my back, my fitness, my swing, and my perspective. More than anything, I am happy for any day on course, and look forward to each playing opportunity I have. With a wife and two great daughters, time is at a premium, so I have no expectations for being a scratch golfer. But, if I can get back to playing and keep my handicap in the single digits, that would be a monumental win.
Long-winded post… thanks for reading. This topic really resonates with me… because as has been said this is every one of us. None of us are pros, all of us have days jobs, and all of us chase that feeling of a perfect shot, and confidence in our swing and game. Cheers to you and everyone reading this thread, its great to hear your journey and I look forward to following along for sure!
Fantastic post – I really love how you’re so engaged here, even with the unfortunate situation going on with your back. You definitely have a long road ahead, but what a carrot to have waiting for you. The Morgan Cup will be incredible inspiration. Best of luck along the way!
If I had that tech available I think I would spend hours working on my game especially during winter. Then again I may just end up chasing numbers and never actually improve
Thanks, I appreciate that. There have definitely been periods this year where I’ve been flat out unable to post much, either because I was entirely too broken, or used all of my physical stamina to get through a work day. But, if I wasn’t posting, I was at least reading and lurking. There are so many good Experiences and conversations that I don’t want to miss. And you are right – The Morgan Cup has been a huge source of resolve and camaraderie throughout. Lucky to be here.
I have divided my golf season in two – the real golf season, and "Club Testing." My LGS is awesome about having hitting bays and GC Hawk available to test new clubs free of charge, and at this point they basically let me do what I want. So, I chase numbers and test new gear setups from Nov-April, then go play real golf when the temperatures rise.
Having the simulator at work did wonders for my golf game over winter. Took some getting used to outdoor conditions in the spring, but swinging and the cameras was amazing.
I am looking forward to seeing where this goes.
First, golf is better having you back in and around it Hawk, I mean that.
Second, I’m here for the journey, for all of it. This is going to be an incredible ride.
I echo a LOT of what you said here, particularly when it comes to THP events.
Looking forward to following along and hoping we can get some golf in together sooner rather than later.
This week, I want to hear your stories about your desire to improve over the years, your successes and failures, and what lasting improvement looks like to you.
the paragraph about course management and short game lowering the handicap but still collapsing under any pressure is me to a tee. It is SO demoralizing. As I have been on the same path I have my beliefs as to the answers to your questions, but I’ll hold them for now. I want to enjoy your journey.
I’ll say that I’ve already learned a ton and seen improvement in a very short time and am excited to share some of that with everybody. Hopefully I can help some of you on your journey along the way.
I’m ready for this.
There is one exception: the short game. You don’t need to be young or athletic to develop a good short game, and as most of us don’t hit a lot of greens, a good short game is a real stroke saver.
I can think of a ton of things that your first statement applies to (music, sports, academics) but I’d frame it differently. I think everybody has a ceiling where they aren’t going to get much better at an activity after they reach it. The goal is to get the most out of what you bring to the table imo.
well said
Interesting that you say that. I read an article a couple of years ago, and the author stated that we reach our golf ceiling in our third year of playing. I don’t necessarily agree, but I can see where he is coming from. The average golf score is still around 90, so despite the remarkable strides we have made technologically, playing good golf (70s) is still elusive for most golfers. My lowest score this season was a 73 and my highest was a 101. I ask myself, who does that? lol.
I can see that, but I think you have to ask yourself why that is. I’m guessing if the average golfer invested real time into improvement they’d continue to see some forward momentum. I also think most people’s ceiling is higher than they think, assuming they are able-bodied and reasonably coordinated. How many people really commit the time and have the discipline to implement the changes needed to get better? I’d say the answer is very few.
I agree. I don’t know how many times I have heard people say "lessons don’t work for me." I would suggest, for the most part, it isn’t that the lessons aren’t working, it’s that the student lacks the patience to see those swing changes through, and invariably reverts back to his old swing.
Definitely. I also think poor practice is a culprit, which I think can be remedied with technology.
My vote for greatest training aid of all time? The cell phone. The camera alone has already helped me more than anything I’ve ever bought and wasted time with. Just being able to swing and see if I’m doing what I was told to is a huge help. Better yet, I sometimes have the screen facing me so I can see in real time what it feels like to be in a better position.
This is an underrated use. It can be very helpful. And it can be done alone or in private. I was reminded again recently how many play/practice alone, or are less social out there, and are sometimes even here because of that. Cell phone and a SelfieGolf/tripod are great tools.
I’m ready, I can use all of the help.
Something someone posted on another golf forum years ago has always stuck with me…
The level at which I play golf does not define me as a person.
The individual was a very good golfer, an instructor, and a college coach. The game was his livelihood, and he was passionate about it. Yet, he seemed to downplay the importance of how skilled he was.
I’m the opposite. I’ve put too much importance on improvement, have little to show for it, and have at times felt sh***y about myself because of it. My friends and family who don’t play golf believe I’m being modest when I say I’m not very good at the game. I can’t blame them. I mean, how can anyone play as much, practice as much and put as much energy towards something and not be just a little good at it.
At some point I struggled to decide whether the passion and drive were writing checks my abilities couldn’t cash, or whether I wasn’t pushing myself enough to reach my full potential. I’m not sure if either is better or worse than the other, but I kind of figured out that the effort and results must be enjoyable, or I would have stopped years ago.
I’m really excited for this. I wasn’t around when this was a thing before. My journey to improving has been very well documented here on THP. Putting myself and my game out there like that has been ‘out of my comfort zone’ (initially) but now it’s what drives me forward day to day. It keeps me engaged and wanting to go to the gym so I can post in the fitness thread, practice putting so I can update my putting thread, and most recently reworking my swing to get it where I want it.
I feel blessed to be able to document and share that journey with THP it has helped get me out of my shell so to speak. I can’t wait to read yours and get some inspiration. ?