I’m Back…. and Worse than Ever
Let’s all take a moment and try to connect. After you read this, close your eyes, and try to remember a time when you played out of your comfort zone and things just fell apart. Maybe it was joining a random group on the course, hitting balls in front of an audience at the range, or even teeing off in front of the world during a THP Experience live stream. Try to recall that feeling in your stomach – the one that almost made it impossible to take the club back for fear of making yourself look foolish. Try to remember how that swing you worked so hard on fell apart in a matter of seconds and left you desperately trying to find something solid to cling to.
Sound familiar?
Man, have I been there. I spent years there. I visited that dark place in private and on some of the most public stages a non-competitive golfer will ever find. Maybe you haven’t experienced this, or it’s happened so infrequently that you can’t fully relate. I know there are people like you out there, but I believe more are like me than aren’t. Today, we are starting a new series devoted to you.
For those that don’t know my story, I spent five years as an equipment reviewer for The Hackers Paradise (THP). As part of a contest, I submitted an article that earned me a coveted spot as a writer for the website, reviewing just about every type of golf equipment available. THP’s ownership has always been unique in that they encourage golfers of all skill levels to share their thoughts on the game they love. While other companies may say they feel the same way, THP’s actions over the years illustrate their commitment to this philosophy. Maybe the greatest demonstration of this was allowing me, a virtual beginner with a 30+ handicap, a chance to share my opinions on golf equipment. Unsurprisingly, this experiment worked, and worked incredibly well. I can’t tell you the number of times I heard a phrase like “I read your reviews and listen to your opinions because I know you’re like me” from our readers.
Over time, the handicap dropped a little. Taking a couple lessons and playing regularly produced better scores, but I was never what I’d consider “good” at playing golf. For all the acceptance I received from THP and its community of readers, I was always my own worst critic (and believe me, I had some very vocal critics). The truth is, on the public stage, it’s not very fun to stink at golf, even if stinking at golf is the part of your identity for which people like you. I had opportunities to play with readers, industry leaders, and even professional golfers. I had many good times, plenty of good shots, and even some halfway respectable performances, but just never could slay those demons. I can’t explain to you the feelings that course through your body when you hit a shot four inches backwards in front of two LPGA players. It’s tough to shake. While I was always able to apply humility and humor to my plight, the fact remains that I had an incredible desire to improve and disassociate myself from the identity I’d created.
So, I invested a great deal of time, money, and personal effort into improving my game. I took lessons locally and via the internet, which was a somewhat archaic process back then. I hit hundreds of balls a week. I sought out advice from professionals and industry leaders. I played with, and observed, good players. I joined a club and played a ton of golf. After years of this, I managed to drop my handicap into the teens, eking out scores in the 80’s when things went well. If I’m being honest with myself, which I think is often an improving golfer’s biggest challenge, most of that improvement came through course management, familiarity, and a decent short game. Regardless of what my GHIN said, swing issues I never managed to resolve remained nearby, waiting to appear any time even the smallest amount of stress was present. My timing and club face control could disappear in a literal second, leaving a trail of unfulfilling rounds at some of the game’s premier destinations.
How bad did it get? Here’s a very candid admission: I went to Callaway Golf’s ECPC, a place where normal golfers’ dreams come true, and I barely hit any golf balls on the range. I acted too busy to spend time with some of the industry’s best fitters while an entire unreleased product line sat in front of me. Why? I can only believe it was purely the desire to preserve my disintegrating sense of self-worth.
In 2014 I gave it one last, best attempt. Again, there was some measurable improvement, but nothing close to what I hoped for. In 2015, it just became too much. I had a young family and decided if I was going to spend my limited time on personal pursuits, I was at least going to get satisfaction out of them. So, I quit. I played four rounds in seven years, always as favor to someone else, and didn’t once have the desire to begin playing regularly again.
Seven years later, my son took an interest in the game, and I eventually couldn’t avoid it. Surprisingly, even with all those years of rust clinging to the same old swing, I found joy in the game again. I saw him in me, full of hope, positivity, and determination to improve. Bad scores followed, as should be expected, but the part of me that was so immersed in the game and the golf industry began to emerge again. As I looked closer at the industry I’d ignored for so long, I saw an incredible progression in the technology available to golfers that wanted to improve. One thought became very clear to me.
What a great time to be a bad golfer.
I began to consider the possibilities. Could a fresh perspective, paired with this remarkable technological advancement, give my story a different ending? If I changed how I approached the concept of game improvement, could I finally come home from a golf trip with a little personal satisfaction? If I shared this process with THP and its readers, could I bring people along with me on this pursuit? Could I help those that joined with me find what we had been missing for so long? Better yet, could I use the power of THP and the golf industry to put a little icing on the cake – an experience they’d never forget?
Today, I invite all of you join me as I embark on a renewed process to improve. We’ll explore technology, data analysis, artificial intelligence, modern golf instruction, and much more. This week, I want to hear your stories about your desire to improve over the years, your successes and failures, and what lasting improvement looks like to you. Join in the discussion here on the THP forum.
Indeed it is. I was the first captain to feel his wrath ?
THP has been the main source of inspiration and support as I became what I hope is a serviceable golfer. I know I’m so much better than I was back then. But that fear that everything you’ve worked to improve will vanish is hard to shake.
No Pressure. No Diamonds.
but man can pressure make you forget how to swing. Sometimes though it brings out the best in one. I’ve experienced both. And strive to harness pressure to help me preform well.
Looking forward to following and contributing to this journey.
Funny you say that you’ve experienced both. I have too, though it seems the moments of greatness aren’t as memorable sometimes ?
I think you parallel other sports/games with golf. For example, pressure-filled moments in bags (cornhole) and darts are when I play my best, so I know it’s there mentally. I just want to build a swing I can trust in those moments like I trust my eyes and hands elsewhere.
Exactly. the highs make the lows feel even lower at times.
Finding that trust in one’s self to truly embrace there is no consequence. So just “see shot, hit shot”. Knowing if you relax too much evil things lurk.
Thanks much – do appreciate you listening and reading!
I haven’t played with another THPer since that day….. and that was a long long time ago. Sadly the fates have been against me ever since.
I feel this so much.
Over the years I’ve taken a year off here or there, just trying to reset things. With two kids (4.5 and 2), my time to spend on the course has dwindled to almost nothing. This year, I think I have 5 round in, but that is more because I booked a couple days off and golfed solo those days.
Its to the point where I feel like to get better, and to be "happy" with my golf again, that I need to invest far more time. Without having that time, I have been mulling just walking away until the kids are into school/need less attention. Am I upset that I play poorly when I do play? Not especially. Does it bother me more that I just can’t get out to do anything recreational? Yes.
I’m at that crossroads. My season end is rapidly approaching (maybe 1 more round left). The long winter is coming, and it is really difficult to stay into golf with no payoff, or nothing to look forward to.
Winter is coming. But will golf come for me in the spring?
Believe me…I know…all sorts of places on nice courses from sugar plants at Kapalua to wire grasses at Pinehurst!
Funny, because I didn’t play that bad during the event. Pretty typical me I guess. That range experience was a lot to process though.
We had a day, didn’t we?! Believe I was drinking Bud Ritas at 7:30am ?
I totally understand the time issues, though that will get better. I think if you enjoy it, just alter your expectations and make the best out of what time you do have available.
Your talk about pressure and hope to not look foolish, or trying to find some sort of success to grab on to during rounds, resonates SO MUCH with me. Like to a T.
Rounds at the GD last year (even ECPC) or any round at very nice courses (like Myrtle this last weekend) are just so hard for me to think about positives. Instead all I think about is “I hope I don’t waste this opportunity”. Swing disappears, I play worse than I know I should and it can end up being super frustrating.
Super excited to follow along with you sir!
Can’t wait to follow along and see what you find!
So, do you think the winter work helped in the long term? Do you think an investment in technology might have helped you there? I’m asking that not knowing what your indoor setup was.
We are going to attack winter pretty hard this year I think. Definitely have some cool plans there that I hope the forum can get in on. I expect the normal adjustment to actual golf when spring comes, but I want to get a head start.
I played well the next day. I don’t know why nerves were so much worse at the fitting center. Perhaps the thought of here is the opportunity for perfectly fit set of clubs?
Looking forward to following along. I’m working on cracking the code too though a little differently at the moment.
Time constraints are real, aren’t they? My thought is that maybe bringing some of the practice opportunities home might make them easier.
You defibitely were. First words you said to me were "do you want a drink"….. i had just woken up lol.
The ECPC thing is such a surprise to me. Very sad it couldnt have been more enjoyable for you.
I tend to feel very exposed on the driving range for whatever reason.
There have been a couple of times in my life where I’ve been in the single digits. I was playing 2, maybe 3, times a week and hitting balls at least every other day. But, physical breakdowns reduced my golf to a scant fraction of what it was. I tried to find a swing that didn’t cause pain but learned that the spot of no pain in the swing was a moving target (still is) and likely wasn’t the same from one swing to the next. I enjoyed the game less and didn’t play as often. When I quit drinking, I played even less (1 or 2 rounds in 3 years) because golf was a drinking experience for me.
After a few surgeries, I started playing somewhat regularly again. I re-established my handicap. I found THP and got in some experiences over a few years. I finally took lessons. But, I didn’t do the work to really get the benefits from them. A bad short game cost me at least 4 or 5 shots a round just in double chips. I took more lessons and things started to improve so I decided to pursue a single digit cap again. But, again, I didn’t put in enough work. I would have a good range sessions and think I’ve got it. Nope. My attitude about the game and feelings for it were dropping. Loved THP but gave some thought to putting down the clubs. That came to a head when I shot a 49 on the front one day. I was done. I was looking up club values on the internet and mentally composing my BST post. And then brought it home in 37. Golf is fickle.
I just focused on the next shot. That’s kept me going the last couple of months. If I get to a single digit, I get there. If not, I’ll keep enjoying THP and have a lot more fun on the course.
I too am on a focused quest to improve. I absolutely agree it’s important to do what you can to improve, but not let scores run or ruin your life. We have to be mindful to enjoy getting out on the course and hitting shots through both the good rounds and bad. And most importantly, we need to focus on enjoying spending time with people important to us.
I’m excited to follow along your journey and see how it tracks with mine.
Yes and no. My set-up last year was pretty basic, I had a hitting strip and a net, it was pretty shoe string but I don’t regret making that initial investment as it kept me swinging this winter and helped me get the reps in that I needed. That being said, the "no" part of the answer comes from the feedback aspect. It’s pretty difficult to gauge any sort of ball flight and if the changes you are making are working from hitting into a net 8′ away, and simulator time is definitely a costly aspect for us in the winter up here ($40+/hr), which adds up quick if you’re aiming to hit balls/play golf a few times a week. I weighed out the costs this year and purchased a SkyTrak unit for this winter, I haven’t had a ton of time to use it yet other than some wedge work but I’m confident it will lead to more quality practice this winter. I wouldn’t say I have time to burn, my constraints are similar to yours with a young family, and I want to make that practice time count!
The timing aspect is the exact conversation I had with @JB the other day. It’s the exact reason why the swings between good and bad can be so severe imo. A little pressure that tightens up the body, or a lack of constant practice, just hoses it all up.
I’ve done a bunch of research on what swing I’m going to try to build and one of the most important criteria I’m looking for is something that doesn’t require so much timing. I want something where the club face doesn’t have to open/close through manipulation so much.
Sup Flap! We go waaaay back ??
That’s a hell of a story. I think one thing that’s allowed me to get through this current rusty period is just enjoying the social aspect, both with family and the THP forum. It’s good for the brain.
I have many shortcomings, but a good memory is probably the thing I’m happiest to be blessed with. I do remember those conversations back in 2012/2013 and I also remember you being on a consistent path similar to mine in terms of trying to continually get better. Thanks for reading Wade!
This is exactly what I was wondering. I’ve also spent a lot of time hitting blind into a net and I’m not going to repeat the mistake. I hope the SkyTrack works well. Something I’ve definitely had an eye on.
I have a putting mat in my room which has helped. One thing that I need to do more of is just taking 10-20 swings a day with no ball. I’m in a condo with no outdoor space but I really need to push myself to just find 10 minutes a day for it.
Yes and no. My set-up last year was pretty basic, I had a hitting strip and a net, it was pretty shoe string but the work obviously paid off. That being said, the no part of the answer comes from the feedback aspect. It’s pretty difficult to gauge any sort of ball flight from hitting into a net 8’ away, but I’ve remedied that this year
Ill probably do a bit of a write-up on it or combine it with my improvement thread at some point. I’ll probably pick my coaches brain a bit and see if I can get a more constructive practice plan laid out for the winter based off the existing software and the holes in my game. If you have any questions let me know!
I did, they paid, I got hooked. Played 30-50 rounds a year, which is quite a lot up here with a short season. Went quickly to about 20 hcp. I worked on the range a lot and took some lessons, I was really pushing to go comfortably to low 90’s. But couldn’t. At some point in a round all would fall apart, as I was trying too much. And then the mental collapse would follow.
The came three kids in four years, covid and a ton of other life stuff that made me play 0-2 rounds a year for several years. On one of those rounds something just clicked. I wasn’t worried about the score, since I knew I couldn’t make a pb. I was suddenly just enjoying being out there on the course, playing. Succeeding in 1/5 shots. But it no longer mattered.
This year my 4&6 yo wanted to try golf, so I took them to little kids practice. One time I took my own clubs with me and started hitting range shots for the first time in five years. And I suddenly enjoyed working on my swing.
I started thinking about upgrading my clubs after I snapped my 9i on my first round this year (scored 118 iirc). I was searching for reviews and comments and found the LTDx irons thread on THP. Bought those. Then bought the driver as well. And now a Garmin R10 to have some feedback on my practice. And I find myself really into golf, golf tech and training again!
So thanks for a great piece of writing nad will definitely follow this thread and your journey.
Great story and I’m glad you found THP. We love when people come looking for information on equipment and decide to join the community.
Oh and welcome back
Oof. I kinda hate that story ?
I’ve been a player who likes information, but wants it in small, finite and consumable portions. I don’t need the big picture, I want the step by step process and let me "feel my way" through it. recently I went to work fixing my slice/OTT move. I landed on some small, but key points to help me be more consistent and more importantly have fun. I hated playing a round of golf and coming away looking at what I didn’t do well versus building on what I did right. My journey is still evolving, but I am now in the mid 80’s consistently and with a hot putter can see high 70’s. All of that comes from taking a different perspective of not looking for the end result, but enjoying the journey or process that is getting me there.
I am looking forward to more of your content and what the "experience" brings.
Love the line about enjoying what is getting you there MikeG! Well said.
You’ve got the GD ahead of you too. That’s a lot to take in. My suggestion from past experiences is work hard to prepare, but go be the best you when you’re there, whatever that is. Just let your game and index work for you.
So I did. And then I started getting the shanks. And then I started slicing to protect against it. And then my scores suffered. And then the frustration built. And then the anger followed. And then I tomahawked my first club. And then I followed it up with more. And then I looked in the mirror. Why was I spending all that time working on a game that was making me act like a donkey? I started getting into the mental side and played to “have fun”. Poor shots and poor play wasn’t fun. I gave it up for a couple years, playing 1 round in that timeframe.
I started golfing again a year ago. Found THP again. Worked harder on my mental game – acceptance more than anything. I found something that resonated when I heard something like “accepting a bad outcome doesn’t mean you don’t care. You can still care and accept the bad outcomes.” And that started me back on the path of enjoying golf. It didn’t help my skill, but it let me accept that just because I’m bad today doesn’t mean I have to stay that way forever. I still have goals, big goals judging by my current handicap. I’m taking lessons and putting time in to get the skill part better. As both my mental game and skill improve slightly I’m sure I’ll be tested again. I’m hoping I’m better equipped to pass the test when it comes.