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Best one liners

My advice to you, start drinking heavily.
 
After hitting a putt way too hard and running it several feet past the hole:

"That was your best drive of the day".
 
There is no "I" in Team but there is a "U" in F---.

I'll shut up when you eff off.
 
look what you did you little jerk
im gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your yella no good keester off my property before i pump you're guts full of lead....1.......2.....10..........keep the change ya filthy animal
take this quarter, go down town and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.
now go home and get your f****n shine box
the price is wrong, b****
you will not make this putt, ya jackass
every line from dazed and confused
every line from caddyshack
every line from the big lebowski
 
blugold said:
I quote Arrested Development daily. It's like a little secret between me and hilarity.
Click to expand...

Yes! I love arrested development

I'm not s'ing around
There's always money in the banana stand
No touching!
I blue myself... I could go on and on
 
and also
fat drunk and stupid, is no way to go through life son.
 
Also, slammin salmon. I thought that movie had hilarious lines.

Excuse are like a-holes. Everybody has one, but don't nobody want to admit it.
Meatdrapes
Say it like I said it!

Most of these are probably stupid if you've never seen the movie though as in they make absolutely no sense in real life.
 
Slapshot - "I'm listening to the f****n' song!"
 
Cause I've got a cabbage for a head!!!
My dad drinks rye. Yeah well who's dad doesn't

Pretty much anything Kids in the Hall.
 
BILLY,BILLY.BILLY.BILLY
I'am kind of a big deal around here..
Locked in a box of emotion..
Some one has a case of the moondays..
I don't want to go to pound me in the *** prison..
shown the OOOOOO FACE..
BROS & HOES BROS & HOES..
I just tee bagged your drum set..
YOU THINK YOUR FUNNY? LIKE FUNNY HOW? FUNNY HAHA..
 
Help Me! Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise use your witchcraft to put the fire out!

News Team, ASSEMBLE!!! (I say this daily)

Filipino Tilt-A-World Operators are this nation's backbone!

Son! Where are you from?
Texas Sir.
So you're a q****?
No sir.
That's funny, because the only things that come from Texas are steers and q***** and you don't look like a steer to me!
 
"Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade."
 
UUMM HHMM like there tater's..
 
"I looked at the trap Ray!"
 
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I'm in a Glass Case of Emotion!!!!
 
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]one of my favorite one liners[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]courtesy of Dwight Schrute
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"In the wild, there is no healthcare. In the wild, healthcare is "ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run, a lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. you're dead."[/FONT]
 
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
 
Hit markers for days...
 
"Get busy living, or get busy dying" -Andy Dufresne


Also LOL at WE's comment.
 
JT723 said:
Help Me! Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise use your witchcraft to put the fire out!

News Team, ASSEMBLE!!! (I say this daily)

Filipino Tilt-A-World Operators are this nation's backbone!

Son! Where are you from?
Texas Sir.
So you're a q****?
No sir.
That's funny, because the only things that come from Texas are steers and q***** and you don't look like a steer to me!
Click to expand...
That's a 5 liner.
 
lol, I know about 1/10 of these. Not a good percentage, reminds me of college.
 
I love the smell of Napalm in the Morning.

I could go on for days.
 
A favorite of mine from Tombstone;

I swear, it's like I'm playin' cards with my brother's kids or somethin'. You nerve-wrackin' sons-a...
 
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