We've launched the new forums! Read more here

Balancing Family and Golf

moosejaa

moosejaa

Mr. Inconsistent
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
21,423
Reaction score
25
Location
WNY
Handicap
12.4
Let me begin with stating that I am a family first guy, but one that loves playing golf. I've really got back into it the last few years playing 50+ rounds a season. My wife and I had our first child 2 years ago and that made it a little harder to get out, especially on weekends. We are having our second at the end of this November. I can see my weekend golf window closing even more. Leaving my wife home alone with a baby and a toddler for 4+ hours is not going to be received very well on a weekly basis. I can see myself playing more weekdays but I may get some attitude using time-off for golf instead of family. Just wondering how some of you other family guys manage it and keep everyone happy. Thanks
 
This can be quite the struggle for sure. One thing that I did several years back was joined a men's club that has weekly (Wed nights) league play so that Wednesday night is always on the calendar as a standing appointment for golf league. That has helped get me out at a minimum once a week. One weekends I usually play really early if/when I do play. If I'm back home by 11 AM or so it's not quite as bad because then at least part of my time away was while everyone was sleeping.

It'll get better, pretty soon you'll have teenagers that don't really want to hang around you anyway! Haha. Good luck!
 
It's a balancing act. I give her Saturday mornings to do what she wants and get away, and in return I get Sunday mornings. Have definitely had to scale down during the week though. Sucks, but that's part of the deal.
 
Good point by Jake about playing early. I typically tee off with the sunrise.
 
Most definitely a balancing act.

We had our second earlier this year. The deal was I played 18 every other weekend. The weekends in between I would tee off about 5:45-6 and play nine, and be home right about when everyone was getting up. During the week I practiced during my lunch break. Next year I may look into a week night 9 hole league.
 
The million dollar question you just asked there. It's a fine line. I too try and play once a week but just depends on the kiddos schedule (3 of em) and the wife's. At the very least, I try and escape to the driving range on the weekend to hit and maintain. During daylight savings time, a few of us from work will leave on a Wed. afternoon and get to the course at 5pm. Usually have no trouble getting 18 in and it frees up my weekends when we can do that. When I know I have a golf event coming up and need to practice more I will take on more kiddo responsibilities so that she is free'd up before I go.

Good luck. Just do what you need to do around the house, with the kiddos and with her more importantly during the week so that it's easier for you to play that 5 hour golf round on the weekends.
 
Nate said:
The million dollar question you just asked there. It's a fine line. I too try and play once a week but just depends on the kiddos schedule (3 of em) and the wife's. At the very least, I try and escape to the driving range on the weekend to hit and maintain. During daylight savings time, a few of us from work will leave on a Wed. afternoon and get to the course at 5pm. Usually have no trouble getting 18 in and it frees up my weekends when we can do that. When I know I have a golf event coming up and need to practice more I will take on more kiddo responsibilities so that she is free'd up before I go.

Good luck. Just do what you need to do around the house, with the kiddos and with her more importantly during the week so that it's easier for you to play that 5 hour golf round on the weekends.
Click to expand...

Im in Nate's boat
 
I've had to deal with this recently and ongoing.

Some things we did were alternating days of the week for who has the night off. So Mon/Weds nights are reserved for my golf leagues while she gets Tues/Thurs to go shopping, or meet up with her friends. I typically play 1 weekend either Saturday or Sunday. Early morning is very helpful, or at the minimum, playing while they're napping.

I also joined a private club. So during peak season while I am out golfing on some gorgeous day, she and the kids can go hang out at the pool and I can meet up with them after for a poolside lunch.

Family happens and it makes it harder to play, but as long as your wife is flexible you can still get out and play.
 
Family first. And more 9 hole rounds in the earliest tee times available.
 
I play prior to work, 9 holes. Plan meetings around golf and play one of two weekend days a months when it's busy. When I have more time I play more. If I play on weekend it's early so I can get back home.
When my little guy was an only child in played a lot. When my daughter was born that decreased but I still get 50+ rounds in a year and plenty of range time.
 
Family first, regular golf days and a good schedule probably would help the situation a ton as well.... as everyone else has already mentioned.
 
Not having kids, Jacqui and I are in a great position. Especially since we both play.
 
I have 2 little ones as well. On the weekends when we play I go for really early tee times as well. It seems to help a bit. I pick my battles the rest of the time.
 
Smallville said:
Not having kids, Jacqui and I are in a great position. Especially since we both play.
Click to expand...

Don't think that's an option for mooseja anymore Smalls but thanks for the input. Have any salt you want to rub in while your at it? :angry:
 
When my kids were younger I certainly had to balance this. I'd still manage to get out at least once or twice a month to play. They key for me was having an understanding wife. I made sure to let her have some time away once or twice a month as well while I watched the kids. Once my kids got into high school they both became interested in golf and played on their respective teams. I was able to play several times a week then as they wanted to play together with me on the course.
 
Nate said:
Don't think that's an option for mooseja anymore Smalls but thanks for the input. Have any salt you want to rub in while your at it? :angry:
Click to expand...



He who has no kids may not understand that we are the ones rubbing the salt. I would choose my kids and less golf, over no kids and more golf, every day :D
 
Puttin4Bird said:
This can be quite the struggle for sure. One thing that I did several years back was joined a men's club that has weekly (Wed nights) league play so that Wednesday night is always on the calendar as a standing appointment for golf league. That has helped get me out at a minimum once a week. One weekends I usually play really early if/when I do play. If I'm back home by 11 AM or so it's not quite as bad because then at least part of my time away was while everyone was sleeping.

It'll get better, pretty soon you'll have teenagers that don't really want to hang around you anyway! Haha. Good luck!
Click to expand...
Getting it on the schedule is key, it also allows my wife to plan and work it into her schedule and the kids as well.

And now she has a few things to put into the schedule that I need to work around as well.
 
You'll need to get your wife on board and find out what works for you BOTH. I'm too cheap to play morning rounds when I can get twilight or afternoon deals on the weekend so that's when I play. Besides, as your kids get a little older and they get involved in sports possibly, most soccer/football for youth is in the am so there goes the early morning round chances are. Luckily my wife is cheap too, so she prefers for me to play at the cheaper rates as well. Just be willing to take care of the kids so that SHE can have her ME time as well. I think that's the root of a lot of the issues with husbands going out to play golf. The wife sees you taking 4 hours for the round an hour round trip to get to the course, range/warmup time before the round and a possible meal. That 4 hour round can easily become 6 - 8 depending on drive and after round meals. The group we generally play with don't mind if our wives/families join us at the restaurant after the round. They seldom choose to meet up, but they are INVITED and just that goes a long way. And since I go golfing WAYYYY more than my wife goes out with her friends, I generally give her time priority. In other words, I reschedule something I have planned so she can participate in what she has planned. Communication is the key.

I didn't start golfing until my son was older, as a matter of fact, I started playing indirectly because of my son. He played football and I was helping coach and the league ran a couple of scramble fund raisers and people were asking me to play on their team. Now my son plays so a lot of our rounds are together, but not as much now as it used to be. He's doing more of his own thing now and golfing with his friends. But when my kids were babies and toddlers I was big time into water-skiing and wakeboarding. It fell to the same thing. I had my time with my friends and I made sure that my wife had the same opportunity, not just staying home taking care of kids while I'm out "playing with my friends". If you are willing to make some sacrifices so she can have the same time with her friends it will go a long long way. And that doesn't count if she's a stay at home mom and gets together with playdates with the kids and some of her friends, I'm talking about kid free time.
 
Two kids makes a HUGE difference. To be fair to the wife, I go to the range on week nights (after kids go to sleep) and usually play 1 round of golf every other weekend. Sometimes its back-to-back weekends if they have a party or play date and I'm excused. It helps that my boss is cool about taking a day off here and there to play golf. It is what it is but on the flip side my kids are awesome so I don't mind playing less golf.
 
Nate said:
Don't think that's an option for mooseja anymore Smalls but thanks for the input. Have any salt you want to rub in while your at it? :angry:
Click to expand...

We play for free? hehehe
 
I guess my wife is simply very generous to me. I stick to a regular schedule of golf on Wednesdays and Sundays, and she is ok with that. It helps that her mother is at our house on Sundays when I'm out golfing.

~Rock
 
I don't have a wife or kids yet....But I"ve seen it be a hard thing to balance for many of my friends and family. I
think it's a big give and take on each part. I'm sure there will be a lot of THPers that can give you some good advice
though. I think it's admirable to put your family first as you should. But of course you need your get away time as well.
An hour at the range after work may be a nice addition as well if you can squeeze it in.
 
Nine hole rounds. Early tee-times. Believe it or not, play in more tournaments. That way it's a standing obligation that you're going to attend, rather than a "Planning to get in a round tomorrow, is that OK?"

Also, this is the time of year to flog the golf course during the weekend afternoons, when the kids nap. Same with early Spring. People without kids are still going to take the morning tee times so they can watch football or whatever in the afternoon. So take that 11 am tee time. It's not any warmer than an 8 am tee time was 6 weeks ago, and the greens are more consistent.

Most important, when you're home, be home. Accept that your wife is going to get her social time in the evenings with book clubs and bunco and all that mess, and you're going to be the one at home bathing and putting the kids to bed. It's the fun part of parenting. But if you want to get your golf in, don't complain about your wife letting her social/hobby calendar fill up, too.
 
This thread strikes a cord. I have two little girls myself...5 and 3. So with my work schedule during the week. I work until 6 most nights, and only have Sunday off. Usually I get home and hang out with the wife and kids. I play maybe once a month now. My wife is getting better though, during the summer I can get up super early on Sundays and play 18 as long as I'm home before lunch. So that's always in my back pocket now, as long as there is nothing going on.
Now that we have a new driving range on the edge of town, that might help me too. I drive by it twice a day now, so if I can get a range pass, then I'll be set. If I can work that, then that will be a big blessing to me and my golf game. I may not be able to play as much, but if I can keep the swing grooved, when I do get a chance I should play well.
It's all about give and take, and like others have said...once the kids get older, I'll be able to play more. Hopefully one of them will end up enjoy the game, too. That would be ideal, and I could play even more, and spend time with one or both of my girls. A guy can dream!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top