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Tiger Woods Schedules News Conference

Think about it folks. As I said earlier, how is Tiger taking away anything from the tournament?

No one is playing while his conference is going on. TV coverage doesn't start until the afternoon.

Outside of the golf channel, where do you hear about this tournament? Outside of the golf channel, who is talking about this tournament?

Now, at least people outside of the golf channel are talking golf again, and thusly, speaking about the tournament.

Did anyone really care that this tournament was sponsored by Accenture? Did anyone really talk about it or take that much notice about it until Tiger got into the mix?

So really, just by people talking about Tiger again in turns gets people to at least pay attention and hear about the match play tournament and it's sponsor, Accenture.
 
Diane said:
It appears that Tiger isn't happy with Accenture - hence the timing of this press conference. It makes me wonder if he did want to play and was refused.
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No way. I think he refused to play, not the other way around. And not even that, I don't think he ever brought it up to play in this thing.
 
You know us lawyers are basically useless, as we all rely on the same set of forms in our craft. So I took the liberty of reviewing my office library copy of Unsinger's Public Figure Apologia, the comprehensive treatise and form book for public apologies by popular celebrities, public officials, wayward commedians, and sports figures. I thumbed through the index, and cross-referenced sports, affairs/prostitutes, and prescription drugs. Voila, the form for Friday's media "event." I know Tiger's legal staff is using the Apologia (as opposed to Ruderick's Model Insincere Public Statements and Press Releases: A Modern Guide to Damage Control (4th ed.)), as the very first Advisory Comment to the outline in the Apologia is that the statement must be delivered in a closely controlled environment, without questions from the media, or if questions are permitted, they should be vetted beforehand and delivered by hand-chosen members of the media beholden to the client who will put their loyalty to him before any so-called journalistic ethics or integrity. For these reasons, I think I can say with absolute certitude that Tiger's prepared statement tomorrow will follow the following outline. You can say you heard it on THP first.

1. Expression of gratitude for viewing audience and members of media giving oportunity to be heard.

2. Unequivocal apology for letting down members of the public.

3. Immediately equivocate. Note that matter involves private behavior, thus suggesting that public has no business feeling put out, but client nonetheless expresses disappointment in self for letting down the busy bodies who seem to care about how he conducts his private affairs.

4. Contend that bad behavior is entirely a personal failure, for which he takes full responsibility.

5. Immediately note that celebrity is in fact the victim of external factors that together seriously impaired his otherwise sound judgment. Specifically, client should claim to suffer from all of the following:

a. Sex addiction
b. Prescription drug addiction
c. Stress-related mental distress caused by demands of life as professional athlete who must perform under public scrutinity in return for outrageous power and wealth.

6. Describe remedial efforts, including attendance at sexual addicition therapy, marriage counseling sessions, medical attention for claimed prescription drug abuse, church attendance, etc.

7. If at all possible, recite belief in god. Several times.

8. Close with a plea that uses the victim-spouse and family as both a sword and shield: note family's support of the speaker, his endebtedness to and desire for forgiveness from family, and the family's need for respect and privacy from inquiring media and public in this difficult time.

9. Thank viewer, followed by immediate and stately departure from field of view.
 
Wow WSE, now that was good. I'm finally kind of excited to hear this tomorrow, lol. Great job.
 
That was freakin' excellent WSE!
 
After reading WSE's post above, I feel compelled to say something.

First, I want to say how thankful I am that THP is here and that THP's readers are kind enough to allow me to post this.

I have made posts on this forum that I now know to be hilarious and, in some cases, wrong. I would like to apologize to THP and its readers for those posts. While the posts in question were made in public, I consider them to be a personal and private failing and I am disappointed in myself and I hope THP's readers will respect my privacy in dealing with these personal transgressions, for which I take full responsibility. I have let my status as a top-level poster on this forum cloud my judgment. The stress of maintaining my position in the upper echelon of postdom has caused me to make ill-advised decisions which caused these recent unfortunate transgressions. I have learned, and accepted, that I am suffering from post addiction as well as an addiction to the prescription medication Fukitall. I am committed to overcoming these outside influences through a strict regime of massage therapy and time away from my computer so I can focus on me. I'm thankful for my family and my faith in my god, Michelle Wie. Although I haven't spoken to either, I am certain they support me during this difficult time. And for that, I am eternally in debt to both my family and Wiesy, and I hope they can find a way to forgive me. While we cope with these problems, I ask that the THP readers respect my family's and Ms. Wie's privacy. Again thank you for your time, and good night.
 
:clapp: :clapp: :clapp: :clapp: :clapp: :clapp: :clapp: :clapp: :clapp: :clapp:
 
Harry Longshanks said:
After reading WSE's post above, I feel compelled to say something.

First, I want to say how thankful I am that THP is here and that THP's readers are kind enough to allow me to post this.

I have made posts on this forum that I now know to be hilarious and, in some cases, wrong. I would like to apologize to THP and its readers for those posts. While the posts in question were made in public, I consider them to be a personal and private failing and I am disappointed in myself and I hope THP's readers will respect my privacy in dealing with these personal transgressions, for which I take full responsibility. I have let my status as a top-level poster on this forum cloud my judgment. The stress of maintaining my position in the upper echelon of postdom has caused me to make ill-advised decisions which caused these recent unfortunate transgressions. I have learned, and accepted, that I am suffering from post addiction as well as an addiction to the prescription medication Fukitall. I am committed to overcoming these outside influences through a strict regime of massage therapy and time away from my computer so I can focus on me. I'm thankful for my family and my faith in my god, Michelle Wie. Although I haven't spoken to either, I am certain they support me during this difficult time. And for that, I am eternally in debt to both my family and Wiesy, and I hope they can find a way to forgive me. While we cope with these problems, I ask that the THP readers respect my family's and Ms. Wie's privacy. Again thank you again for your time, and good night.
Click to expand...

See, these forms come in handy.

Perfect pitch, Harry. :clapp:
 
UH, can I score some of your "fukitall" script off you? I promise I won't go near any grade schools with it.......



Very Good HL...:clapp:
 
calebt17 said:
Nice work WSE.

GWAA Writers Boycott,
PGATOUR.COM - Golf Writers vote to boycott Tiger Woods statement
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So what's the plan?

At exactly 11:00AM they're all gonna stand in unison, put their hands over their ears and shout "Lalalalalalalalala" for fifteen minutes?

And do they believe that by doing this the world will never know what Tiger said?

Why don't we just call this what it really is:

They realize that they're not going to get their chance to publicly humiliate Tiger by bombarding him with questions demanding that he disclose every lurid and lascivious detail of his affairs.
They won't be able to publicly castigate him for the irreparable damage he's done to the entire population of planet earth or how Tiger's actions have permanently scarred an entire generation of children who will now no doubt turn to lives of crime as a direct consequence of Tigers uncaring lack of concern for their welfare.
They won't be able to physically block the exits and not let Tiger leave the room until they get a detailed accounting of every hotel room, phone call, text message, love note, gift, room key, pina colada and sex position this bane of mankind has been involved with and they won't have the opportunity to reduce him to a quivering mass of protoplasm throwing himself at their feet begging for their mercy and forgiveness.


And that pisses them off.


-JP
 
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This. ^
 
Harry Longshanks said:
After reading WSE's post above, I feel compelled to say something.

First, I want to say how thankful I am that THP is here and that THP's readers are kind enough to allow me to post this.

I have made posts on this forum that I now know to be hilarious and, in some cases, wrong. I would like to apologize to THP and its readers for those posts. While the posts in question were made in public, I consider them to be a personal and private failing and I am disappointed in myself and I hope THP's readers will respect my privacy in dealing with these personal transgressions, for which I take full responsibility. I have let my status as a top-level poster on this forum cloud my judgment. The stress of maintaining my position in the upper echelon of postdom has caused me to make ill-advised decisions which caused these recent unfortunate transgressions. I have learned, and accepted, that I am suffering from post addiction as well as an addiction to the prescription medication Fukitall. I am committed to overcoming these outside influences through a strict regime of massage therapy and time away from my computer so I can focus on me. I'm thankful for my family and my faith in my god, Michelle Wie. Although I haven't spoken to either, I am certain they support me during this difficult time. And for that, I am eternally in debt to both my family and Wiesy, and I hope they can find a way to forgive me. While we cope with these problems, I ask that the THP readers respect my family's and Ms. Wie's privacy. Again thank you for your time, and good night.
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You left out the crying part. I guarantee he will cry tomorrow.
 
WSE, you have got a future in politics as a spin doctor. If you and Harry could get together, Obama would be shaking in his boots and looking for a home in Chicago.
 
Els critical of Woods' timing

Els critical of Woods' timing

The timing of Tiger Woods' first appearance since his car accident and subsequent admission of marital infidelity -- on Friday in Florida, while the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship is in full swing in Arizona -- does not impress one of the game's best-known players.

"It's selfish," former U.S. Open and British Open champion Ernie Els told Golfweek magazine. "You can write that. I feel sorry for the sponsor. Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. This takes a lot away from the golf tournament."

Woods will speak publicly at 11 a.m. ET Friday for the first time since his bizarre Thanksgiving night car accident, beginning what his agent called "the process of making amends" for the sex scandal that sent him into hiding for three months. Since the accident, Woods' only statements have come via his Web site.
The timing is peculiar at best. Woods' appearance will take place during the third round of the Arizona tournament, sure to steal attention away from the first big event of the year. The tournament is sponsored by Accenture -- coincidentally, the first sponsor to drop Woods when the scandal broke.

Woods' agent, Mark Steinberg, said the appearance during the tournament was "a matter of timing." Asked if it could have waited until Monday, he said, "No."

"There is a very good reason [to do it Friday] ... and not do it next week," Steinberg said, according to Golfweek.

Steinberg said there was no intention to upstage Accenture's sponsorship of the Match Play tournament, according to Golfweek. He said he alerted a company executive of Woods' plans, and made sure his statement would be made "well outside the tournament's TV window."

An Accenture spokesman confirmed to ESPN.com that Steinberg gave the company a heads-up.

"That story will happen, it will get covered and then we'll move on to the Match Play, but they deliberately tried not to overlap with what we are doing," said Fred Hawrysh, Accenture's director of corporate communications

After a six-year sponsorship contract with Woods, Accenture became the first company to cut ties with him in December. Even so, Hawrysh maintained that it may actually be beneficial to have Woods release his statement this week.

"I don't think he's taking away from the tournament; I honestly don't feel that," he said. "We've had great coverage overnight of the first day of it and somehow those two news events seem to be able to coexist and I think that's going to be able to continue to happen.

"If anything, it's going to pique people's interest in golf again. It gets people focused on golf and this is our golf weekend, so there really could be a silver lining in all of this."

"He's got to come out at some point," Irish golfer Rory McIlroy said. "I suppose he might want to get something back against the sponsor that dropped him. No, I don't know. It just went on for so long. I'm sick of hearing about it. And I'm just looking forward to when he's getting back on the golf course."

PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem said he did not think Woods' appearance would undermine the World Golf Championship event.

"We have tournaments every week," Finchem said. "I think it's going to be a story in and of itself. A lot of people are going to be watching golf this week to see what the world of golf says about it, my guess is. So that will be a good thing."

A number of golfers have publicly advised Woods to come forward before he resumes playing on tour.

"Tiger has to take ownership of what he has done. He must get his personal life in order. I think that's what he's trying to do. And when he comes back he has to show some humility to the public," Tom Watson said before the Dubai Desert Classic earlier this month.

"I would come out and I would do an interview with somebody and say, 'You know what? I screwed up. And I admit it. I am going to try to change. I am trying to change. I want my wife and family back,' " Watson said.

Geoff Ogilvy, speaking before the Abu Dhabi Championship last month, said Woods should appear in public before returning to the tour out of respect for his fellow golfers.

"It would be nice if he came out away from a golf tournament. When he does come back to golf it would still be a bit crazy but that tabloid edge might be gone," Ogilvy said.

Woods will appear Friday in the clubhouse at the TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., home of the PGA Tour. The event is being limited to a small number of wire service and golf reporters, and only one television camera will be in the room, which will provide live coverage via satellite. Woods will not be taking questions.

Three networks -- ABC, CBS and NBC -- will carry the statement live. The Golf Channel will start coverage 30 minutes before Woods is scheduled to speak.

Steinberg described the gathering as a "small group of friends, colleagues and close associates" who will listen to Woods apologize as he talks about the past and what he plans to do next.

"He also let down his fans. He wants to begin the process of making amends and that's what he's going to discuss," Steinberg said in an e-mail.

At about the time of Woods' Nov. 27 car accident, a National Enquirer story alleged the world's No. 1 golfer had been seeing a New York nightclub hostess. Following the crash, a stream of women came forward to claim they had romantic relationships with him. One woman provided Us Weekly magazine with a voice mail she said Woods left her three days before the crash, asking her to take his number off her phone.

Woods admitted to "infidelity" in a statement on his Web site in mid-December and has been on an indefinite break from golf ever since.

A British bookmaker has set odds at 4-to-7 that Woods' wife, Elin, will be with him. The bookmaker, William Hill, didn't stop there, however. It offers 8-to-1 odds that Woods will announce he is getting a divorce; 12-to-1 odds that his wife is pregnant; and 100-to-1 odds that he is retiring.

Conversation raged online, as many took glee in speculating on what Woods will say Friday.

The golfer was the hottest topic on Google Trends. On Twitter, Tiger Woods was a dominant topic. Among the most popular threads were tweets with the tag "tigershouldsay."

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4924113
 
Woods starts comeback with a speech

Woods starts comeback with a speech

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (AP)—Out of sight for almost three months, Tiger Woods will be back for a day.

After that—who knows.

Golf’s biggest star is to make his first public appearance Friday since he ran his SUV over a fire hydrant and into a tree outside his Florida home on Nov. 27, setting off a shocking and sordid sex scandal.

The setting for his return is decidedly friendly. It may be hard to remember the planet is watching.

Woods will speak to a small group of “friends, colleagues and close associates” in the Sunset Room on the second floor of the TPC Sawgrass, home of the PGA Tour. Just one video camera will broadcast the event and there will be no questions.

Once he’s done, Woods apparently won’t be sticking around much longer.

He is to return to therapy after he speaks about his infidelity and his future plans, according to a letter from PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem obtained by The Associated Press.

Finchem’s letter to the PGA Tour policy board and other officials explained why Woods chose Friday to make his first public comments, which are to be televised live by the major networks.

Woods’ statement comes during the Match Play Championship, sponsored by Accenture, the first company to drop Woods as a pitchman.

“As we understand it, Tiger’s therapy called for a week’s break at this time during which he has spent a few days with his children and then will make his statement before returning,” Finchem said in the letter Thursday. “Accordingly, there was very little flexibility in the date for the announcement.”

The letter shed no light on whether Woods plans to return to the tour anytime soon.

Ernie Els was among players who were upset to learn that Woods had chosen the week of a World Golf Championship for a public appearance that was sure to take attention away from the tournament. “It’s selfish,” Els told Golfweek magazine.

Finchem told reporters in Marana, Ariz., earlier this week that he didn’t think Woods’ appearance would undermine Accenture, and that Woods’ handlers “have their own reasons for their schedule.”

In the letter, he said the tour discussed the timing with Accenture and “they understand that the PGA Tour was not involved in determining the timing of the statement.” Finchem also noted that Woods’ comments would be over well before television coverage of the third round from Dove Mountain.

The PGA Tour made available its sprawling, Mediterranean-styled clubhouse for the announcement, and was helping set up adjacent ballrooms at the nearby Sawgrass Marriott for media, where they can watch Woods on closed-circuit TV. Finchem said in the letter that Woods’ management asked for the facilities, and “we agreed as we would for any member of the PGA Tour.”

No other PGA Tour player could command this kind of attention, though.

Woods is one of the most recognized athletes in the world. Television ratings double when he is in contention, which has happened a lot on his way to winning 71 times on the PGA Tour and 14 majors, four short of the record held by Jack Nicklaus.

No other athlete had such a spectacular fall. Accenture and AT&T have ended their endorsement contracts with him, and Woods has become the butt of jokes on everything from late shows to Disney performances.

In the hours leading up to his appearance, it already was shaping up as a major event.

Along with familiar faces, Woods’ management team invited limited media.

“This is not a press conference,” Mark Steinberg, Woods’ agent, said on Wednesday.

Three wire services—the AP, Reuters and Bloomberg—were invited. The Golf Writers Association of America was offered a pool of three reporters, negotiated for six reporters, then its board of directors voted overwhelmingly not to participate.

“I cannot stress how strongly our board felt that this should be open to all media and also for the opportunity to question Woods,” said Vartan Kupelian, president of the 950-member group. “The position, simply put, is all or none. This is a major story of international scope. To limit the ability of journalists to attend, listen, see and question Woods goes against the grain of everything we believe.”

The public hasn’t had a clean look at Woods’ face since photos Wednesday of him jogging in his neighborhood outside Orlando.

More pool photos were released on Thursday showing him hitting balls on the practice range; Woods never allowed his picture taken on the range last year when returning from knee surgery.

Far more compelling, however, will be the sound of his voice. Woods has not been heard in the 78 days since a magazine released a voicemail he allegedly left one of the women to whom he has been romantically linked, warning that Woods’ wife might be calling.

Instead of going on “Oprah” or another national television show to break the ice, Woods essentially will be speaking to the lone camera allowed in the room. It will be televised via satellite.

http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news?slug=ap-tigerwoods&prov=ap&type=lgns
 
WSE. I would like to thank you. I was going to have to try to find an internet broadcast of his speech, but you have already given it to me. I owe you 15 minutes of my life. Thank you so much.
 
:sleepy:
 
We have merged some threads on things related to his news conference into one thread.
 
Thank you for the info... I was wondering what Els had said.
 
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