Golf or Marraige?

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bonknhead

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For what its worth, I would give up the game in a second for my wife.
Marriage to me is about being with my best friend every day.
Hear hear! Well said JB. :thumb:

My wife is my life. There's nothing I would not give up for her. Or my kids for that matter. Golf is just a game.
 

One-T

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My wife is my world. She's my high-school sweetheart and we've been through thick and thin.

I love golf, but I love her more than anything else on this planet. It's not even a question for me.
so is mine, I guess I dont understand why this thread is getting attention. Why we havent dropped it!?!

I mean, the guy is asking forum members if he should golf or get a divorce(Sarcasm). I just dont see why this is being talked about. Its lame and IMHO sad that it has more people reading it than....lets say....Hanks Boccieri Iron review.
 

ddec

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I would choose the Callaway irons:bulgy-eyes:
 

burmbuster

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so is mine, I guess I dont understand why this thread is getting attention. Why we havent dropped it!?!

I mean, the guy is asking forum members if he should golf or get a divorce(Sarcasm). I just dont see why this is being talked about. Its lame and IMHO sad that it has more people reading it than....lets say....Hanks Boccieri Iron review.
Maybe everyone wants to help this guy out. Nothing wrong with that. Besides, isnt the Boccieri Iron Review in a totaly different forum? Hehe.
 

ray635

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For what its worth, I would give up the game in a second for my wife.
Marriage to me is about being with my best friend every day.
I gave up golf a while back for my career at the time and would do so again in a minute if that choice was presented to me.

If the choice is golf or marriage and someone is even thinking about the options, then there are more issues at stake than just the game of golf. They are just being cloaked by an easy target.
I agree with JB playing the game of golf is not the issue but a easy target. If you are looking to save your marriage then golf needs to take a back seat until your wife is happy.
 

One-T

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Maybe everyone wants to help this guy out. Nothing wrong with that. Besides, isnt the Boccieri Iron Review in a totaly different forum? Hehe.
hahaha....same forum!

I understand what your saying, but....I guess I dont get it. Some things you need to figure out for yourself. If your asking people whats more important then I think the question was answered in the OP, and just by asking the question he answered it for me.

I would understand if he came on a GOLF forum and asked for help on irons, but this seems like it would be appropriate on another forum. Again, Just my opinion and I am done in here
 

Caper

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I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around this. Golf is just a game. I can't see golf as being a clear cut problem here. There has to be something at the root that is really the problem in the marriage and golf makes it evident. Ending a marriage of 25 years in order to maintain a handicap is mind boggling.
 

SethO

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I would agree. But at the same time if Golf is the one thing that has always been a constant in your life and say it's the one thing that truly brings you joy then could you give it up? Although, a good relationship would be about compromise, so in that case you wouldn't have to give it up completely but cut back to learn better time management. I am just playing devil's advocate here. Honestly, I could never answer a question like this because I never had a passion. I never played sports, or was ever really good at anything. I never collected things or had to go to every sports game, or anything like that. So I don't know what it would be like to give up something that could potentially mean the world to you. That would be such an easy decision for me because I would always pick the person, but I don't know what it would be like if I had something else that meant that much to me. And of course now, my husband is what means the world to me so if someone said I had to give up golf, or whatever else I was interested in, I would give that up for him in a heartbeat.
I see your point and, of course, I can only answer for myself. I, like you, would choose the person, but if someone is choosing golf over a wife, there has to be more to it than that and golf is getting the blame. If I were to never marry because I wanted to be a scratch golfer, that might be weird, but it would be fine. In this case, there is another person's emotions involved and it is no longer just affecting his own life. I doubt this guy is not going through as much pain as his wife is and I can't help but feel that he is being a bit selfish.

If they need to divorce, then blame the real issues unless the real issue is the time spent golfing. If the guy is not willing to change, then he does not deserve her and she should divorce him, take what is due her and move on with her life. If time golfing is truly the issue, than this man is not truly a man of his word and forfeits his honor. What does a man have in this world other than his word and his honor?
 

CharlieMoy

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hahaha....same forum!

I understand what your saying, but....I guess I dont get it. Some things you need to figure out for yourself. If your asking people whats more important then I think the question was answered in the OP, and just by asking the question he answered it for me.

I would understand if he came on a GOLF forum and asked for help on irons, but this seems like it would be appropriate on another forum. Again, Just my opinion and I am done in here
Penta v prov1. Thoughts?
 

burmbuster

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bgammill

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For what its worth, I would give up the game in a second for my wife.
Marriage to me is about being with my best friend every day.
I gave up golf a while back for my career at the time and would do so again in a minute if that choice was presented to me.

If the choice is golf or marriage and someone is even thinking about the options, then there are more issues at stake than just the game of golf. They are just being cloaked by an easy target.
Well said JB! I would leave the game of golf in a second to stay in my marriage. The GAME of gold isn't worth leaving everything I love in life between my wife and kids.


Tapatalk... Loved by me hated by the wife.
 

Canio

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For what its worth, I would give up the game in a second for my wife.
Marriage to me is about being with my best friend every day.
I gave up golf a while back for my career at the time and would do so again in a minute if that choice was presented to me.

If the choice is golf or marriage and someone is even thinking about the options, then there are more issues at stake than just the game of golf. They are just being cloaked by an easy target.
Bingo! We have a winner here. It could be ANY hobby...rock collecting, stamp collecting, garage sales.... the discussions with his wife would follow similar lines.
 

McRock

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Bingo! We have a winner here. It could be ANY hobby...rock collecting, stamp collecting, garage sales.... the discussions with his wife would follow similar lines.
Garage sales is a hobby?
 

interlooper

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Divorce is hard on kids no matter when it happens. I would rather see a mother and father get a divorce right away, than to lie to anybody about their marriage.

As JB said, anytime anything involves emotions, it can get really messy and hurtful.
I would rather see a couple be upfront with each other about the issues and what is going on, and THEN work through the issues. Love in a marriage should be more of a commitment to each other rather than a mere feeling or emotion that comes and goes with the direction of the wind (or whether Adele is playing on the radio). To each their own though. Marriage is different than how I envision it in my head.
 

Trout Bum

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You have two things going against you here, first there are very few golfers here that will ever see a 0.3 index and have no idea what it takes to get there, second is, there are very few people married for 25 years anymore. Get yourself a marriage counselor with a low index who has been married for 20 or more years. You're a better golfer than me and you've been married alot longer than I have, so I don't really feel qualified to give you advice, but I can assure you if you're looking for a way out of your marriage, honesty is usually the best answer, don't use golf as the scapegoat. Integrity is not just for the course.
 

Tadashi70

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Ok my question is to guys that have young ones at home. How do you get out 2-4 times a week? I get out two times a week at most and I have a 7 month old at home. The reason I only get out that much is because i want to spend time at home with my son and wife since I work all day. I'm not saying that you guys don't, but I guess my real question is what kind of jobs do you guys have and can I work where you do?
I have two little ones at home and I just manage my time on the course. I'll play with clients or get in an early round befor heading into the office. I'm also in sales do I'm not paid for sitting at a desk, I'm paid to sell so I bust hump to get my numbers to a level that no one questions my whereabouts. I've also spent year creating long lasting relationships with my clients so I have a great deal of repeat business from year to year. It frees up time during the day to play and my nights can be spent with my family. The weekend warrior in me is far and few between cuz I spend those days with my little ones.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

DonW

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I am going to go out on a limb here and propose that golf is not the issue here.

Some background on my life; grew up in a totally dysfunctional home, parents should have divorced but never did, had the good fortune to discuss this through out my life with several experts in the field which helped me in my own marriage immensely. Been married 30+ years, have two adult kids, and have just recently (1 1/2 years ago) moved from what is basically our home town of 50 years.

Golf might be the present issue but I'm willing to bet it will become something else if you choose to stop or slow down at golf, when we moved we knew no one and this was no concern to me as I make friends easily, but I made it priority one that my wife become active at something in the new community to meet people (I was fortunate in that she chose golf as one of the options to meet new friends).

I believe a real hard discussion needs to take place as to what your wife really needs to survive the new situation she finds herself in. If the ultimatum is golf or her I'm sure that you will find something else to replace golf and the problem will still exist or you may agree to be miserable for the short term until retirement, not something I see as reasonable as surely something will suffer and the same possibility of separation will exist. You need to help her become active in some way whether it be work, volunteering, or a hobby but every person needs to have something beyond their marriage partner to occupy themselves with.

If you truly are working at a job and committing your spare time to golf 6 out of 7 days every week, then change needs to happen on your account or you need to at least consider how you will enjoy living by yourself for your foreseeable future. Everyone needs time to themselves but if it is the majority of spare time that is not realistic for a true marriage and divorce may work best for your needs. But for those who might think it easier because the kids are adults I will not agree with as children's minds deal with difficulties much differently than "adult minds".

Needless to say all the foregoing is my opinion take it for what it's worth, very little probably, but I wish you well.
 

liquidrage

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Ok my question is to guys that have young ones at home. How do you get out 2-4 times a week? I get out two times a week at most and I have a 7 month old at home. The reason I only get out that much is because i want to spend time at home with my son and wife since I work all day. I'm not saying that you guys don't, but I guess my real question is what kind of jobs do you guys have and can I work where you do?
Basically I have two nights out a week. Tuesday that's been a standing thing for years where I meet up with the guys, and Saturday for golf. I have a driving range set up at the house but it's into a net so I still get out once every week or two for a range trip, but usually only after our kid goes to be (he's 3 so that's at 7:30). During football season I take him to our friends house where we all split the Sunday Ticket package for a full day of football.

Really, it's just doing it as a scheduled thing that makes it easier. Like I got rained out Sat so we talked and I was able to switch it to Sunday so that she could run errands and I took my boy out and did things till she got back.

Also, at 7 months it's harder then say at 3. The first 2 years I went out once a week and so did she because we both needed a little "me" time or else we'd go crazy. It gets a little easier to get kitchen passes once they're potty trained and can get themselves dressed, etc... Obviously you can't go out too much because spending time with them is priority one. But at the same time if we just tried to pretend we were happy never leaving the house and only going to Olive Garden or the playground together would make us crazy and wouldn't be good for anyone either.
 

Drumdog

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Hmmm...I struggled with this one.
First I thought...troller?
Then I thought...who cares?
Finally my thoughts, that you asked for are...
There are passions and there are addictions.
You have to decide what you have for the game of golf.
If it's just passion, then wake up and save your marriage if it's important to you.
If it's addiction, then go see a specialist.
Either way, to post something as important as this on a golf website, shows me you need help.
I wish you all the best in the future.
 

10YardDraw

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Im not married but would take golf over being married anyday, just my opinion, if your unhappy get a divorce, if not work it out
 

TripleBogieTim

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Like others have said, for someone to even ask that question means they have already made a decision, they just want people to support them in it. I would choose my wife over golf anyday, but I'm damn glad I don't have to!
 

Lefty78

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Take it from someone who has been there, splitting after being together over 20+ years is much more difficult than you can imagine even if it's what you want. I hope you two can work this out. It seems like she needs something in her life that makes her as happy as your golf makes you. I doubt you slacking a bit is going to fix that but she needs to KNOW that she matters to you more than the game does. I hope you two will consider counseling or at least talking through this and coming up with your own plan.
Listen to KellyBo, I think she has it nailed. Instead of throwing it out on "the internet" to solve your problems have the ENTIRE discussion with you wife. How would you feel if, instead of discussing things with you, she goes on a website and gets advice on whether to keep you or move back to her old life without you?
 

SeeMoreGuy

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I love golf just as much as the next THP'er and my wife has been more than gracious in giving me free reign to play. However, I would do everything I could to compromise with her because in a marraige it not all about what I want to do or what she wants to do. Maintaining a low h/c as you do is a wonderful achievement, but as we age that h/c is going to increase more than likely. So, lets look say five years out and if you are now an 8 capper is that so bad to keep the happiness in a marriage and knowledge you and your life partner are still together. If, you were a PGA tour player and had your mortgage tied to your game, I could perhaps see things a bit differently...perhaps. However, given your OP, I would try to work through it and make her happy which will probably lead to you playing close to the amount of golf you do now.

The other thing is that the title of your post: GOlf or Marriage. If you have to ask this question you may already have your answer. Priorties my man.....priorties. Show her she is the number one.

These are just my thoughts and I hope this works out for you and the Mrs.
 

Canio

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Garage sales is a hobby?
Believe it or not. I have a friend who, with his wife, go to garage sales EVERY fricking weekend as their hobby. Don't ask me to explain, I have no clue!
 

Badger_Golfer

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Sounds to me like its a case of her being a bit insecure and a case of you not making enough time for her. If you would really rathar play golf than to spend time with her (having a date night isnt much when you are married to someone), then I guess you have your answer.
 
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