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Negative Self-Talk

KellyBo

KellyBo

Golf, Have Fun or Quit!
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I'm the world's worse about negative self-talk and self-doubt. After reading the book "Your 15th Club" by Bob Rotella last year, I realized this is a lot of my problem. He has good advice for how to fix it but I obviously didn't stick with it and it is a recurring problem.

Here's a quote from his book:

"Self-talk can be a great tool for improving confidence, but it can erode confidence just as easily. Self-criticism can create a losing syndrome. You want to be your own cheerleader."

Do you have negative self-talk going on in your head? He recommends paying attention to the thoughts that go on while you play and writing them down so you will become more aware of all the negativity. Our focus should be on the good stuff and building our confidence instead of focusing on what we didn't do so good.

Do you struggle with this too?
 
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I find that I just dont care enough to get mad. Everything is "meh".


I positive self talk sometimes. You can do this, etc. But never negative.
 
LOL. Yup.
<--- Notice my Handicap.
It bit me hard yesterday on the front side of Southern Hils.
But after the turn and a bit to relax, I had a couple pars and birdied 18 to finish out.

PS the greens down there are astoundingly good...and FAST!
 
I do it. All the time, and it hurts my game every time. I talk myself out of hitting 3 wood from the tee, when I'd set out with the game plan. I give myself a talking to for a bad shot, but never a pat on the back for a good one.

The mental game is without doubt the hardest, and maybe the most rewarding, part of the game to get right. I've had a couple of rounds in the past year or so when I've accepted that I'll need to scramble a few shots, and play conservatively. Those rounds felt so much better than my usual mindset.
 
KellyBo said:
"Self-talk can be a great tool for improving confidence, but it can erode confidence just as easily. Self-criticism can create a losing syndrome. You want to be your own cheerleader."

Do you have negative self-talk going on in your head? He recommends paying attention to the thoughts that go on while you play and writing them down so you will become more aware of all the negativity. Our focus should be on the good stuff and building our confidence instead of focusing on what we didn't do so good.

Do you struggle with this too?
Click to expand...

It used to be a huge problem. I started by cutting off commenting on my bad shots. I went from saying "oh that's useless" to nothing. Then I took charge of my mind and now I make a habit of thinking of...something else, be it after a good or bad shot.

Also coming to the conclusion that there is no such thing as luck helped. You either do or you don't, you hit the ball to where it is.
 
I think we all let the game get the better of us at times. I clipped along yesterday and was one over after 7 holes only to take a 6 on a par 3. I beat myself up for the next ten minutes and let it keep me down which lead to a bogey on the next hole. I did manage to shake it off and played well on the second nine, but for me it is a matter of learning to let go right away when things go bad.
 
I used to be the poster child for this....now when bad things happen I take Thainer's approach and just go 'meh'
 
I always try to leave the bad right where it happens on the course. I talk to myself OK lets pick it back up....It's one shot shaking it off.......I feel as long as I dont answer back I'm OK.:D
 
I have been working with a personal trainer for the past 6 months and this is one of his biggest things. Beating yourself up just continues to a cycle of negativity. Nothing good can come of it.
 
I was thinking about picking this book up on my kindle but the $17 price tag kinda scared me off. Now I just might give it a try.
 
It's a great book Dev. worth the price for sure
 
I usually start the year pretty negative as with time off comes a handful of swing glitches.. My favourite line seems to be "Why do you even bother coming out here?!?!"

Each year I get over myself and just enjoy the game though. Golf isn't meant to be perfected, at least for me. If I can enjoy the game, it's worth more than hitting 18 greens in reg.
 
KellyBo said:
I'm the world's worse about negative self-talk and self-doubt. After reading the the book "Your 15th Club" by Bob Rotella last year, I realized this is a lot of my problem. He has good advice for how to fix it but I obviously didn't stick with it and it is a recurring problem.

Here's a quote from his book:

"Self-talk can be a great tool for improving confidence, but it can erode confidence just as easily. Self-criticism can create a losing syndrome. You want to be your own cheerleader."

Do you have negative self-talk going on in your head? He recommends paying attention to the thoughts that go on while you play and writing them down so you will become more aware of all the negativity. Our focus should be on the good stuff and building our confidence instead of focusing on what we didn't do so good.

Do you struggle with this too?
Click to expand...

It is still a struggle with me even though I am an upbeat and positive person. This topic is spot on, I play with guys who will let one bad shot get in their head and it affects the rest of their round. I have always been an optimist but I still had to learn to let go of bad shots or misfortunes and keep those demons out of my head. For the most part I can handle it.

The hardest thing for me is putting, specifically missing short putts. I have come to realize that I WILL miss a short putt every round or two and have convinced myself that it's OK. It helps to see the pros miss them on TV, yeah we should make them but NO ONE makes them all. The real trick is to not let, for example, putting game woes slide over into the rest of the game.

When I do have a bit of bad luck, I remind myself, this is still a game and there a lots worse places to be than on a golf course then give myself the "relax and have fun" speech!
 
This is something I struggle with every day and not just in golf. It really is true when people say we are our own worst critics.
 
Thainer said:
I find that I just dont care enough to get mad. Everything is "meh".


I positive self talk sometimes. You can do this, etc. But never negative.
Click to expand...

I used to be negative, then I realize what's the point. Now I am very "meh" as well about golf when things aren't going quite right. When things are going well I'm giving myself pats on the back and such.
 
I do this as well, mostly on those 30 to 60 yard wedges to a tight pin. The bigger problem for me is that last second swing thought that pops in my head and I change things over the ball without stepping away. I do it all the time. My last time out I switched to a draw off the tee at the last second without stepping away and rethinking the shot, wind already helping I just turned it into a big ol hook.

Two particular holes I have a habit of shoving straight left, now I catch myself thinking "Oh don't go left" and guess where I go? lol
 
Im guilty of this as well, just need to put the past behind me....and stop the last minute thoughts like thedue mentioned too
 
Negative self talk can make the best of athletes wilt under pressure. I think a huge part of Tiger Woods problems is mental issues. No doubt he has some serious physical problems with his knee, foot, etc. however, I think the mental issues he is suffering over rides the physical ones. Golf is fickle and we are often sensitive to the bashing it gives us. I know you got some great physical skills and once that positive mental strength is reinforced, you are going to have the total package!
 
I do this alot. I usually grumble at myself to say "keep your head down!" or "FAT FAT FAT!" lol I take divots the size of aircraft carriers at times.
 
I do it occasionally, but my swing thought for the year is "one shot at a time, keep looking forward". This has really helped me accept the results of a shot and move on. I don't let a bad shot bother me for a long time like it used to, and I don't get too excited when I hit a good shot because that is what I was trying to do.

My dad however is the absolute worst when it comes to negative self-talk. When we were playing last week, he was playing really well and then hit a bad drive on a par 5. He tells me, "the wheels are falling off...I can only play good for so long then I just crumble.. " etc. I kept telling him it was just one shot, on a par 5 especially, you can still par this hole. Lets just say the rest of his round was not good, and thats putting it nicely. He self distructs. He has a mental war, with himself. He consistently shoots in the low to mid 80's, but has never broken 80. I strongly believe it is because of his mental warfare.

I am definitely going to check out this book and will most likely buy one for dad for fathers day and one for myself. Sounds like a great book, thanks for posting.
 
Like everyone else, I struggle with the mental collapse after a bad hole/bad shot, but find myself being negative sometimes even during a decent round. Whenever I'm waiting around to hit my next shot, I find myself dissecting all the shots I hit prior in my round. Then I single out the mistakes that I KNOW I should have done better at. I then get down on myself for not doing it the way that I know I'm capable of doing it, which then affects my current shot.

What a cruel thing our mind can be!
 
I used to be terrible after a bad shot, or a bad hole, just swearing at myself and getting really mad, which would then affect the next few holes, only making things worse. Now, if I hit a bad shot or have a bad hole, I try and stay positive and just think about what led to the bad score and what I can do to fix it, and think, "time to get it back on this next hole"
 
I have been through a tough battle trying to find my game again and it's all in my head. "Your past is not your future" is one of my favorite quotes from Fred Shoemaker (I believe). It's easier said than done but I love the concept of being present with your thoughts and not stuck in the past or future. The last few rounds and range sessions have been so helpful thanks to the quote!
 
I'm very bad with this, and not just at golf but in alot of aspects of my life. I used to be a positive person but somewhere along the road of life I've picked up the bad habit. I know its something I need to work on for sure because at times I can't stand being around my own self so I can only imagine what others are feeling. I even hurt my own feelings once! Yeah, thats how I roll!
 
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